


A Rich Girl with Issues... Lots of Issues

by Inkedroplets



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Justice League - All Media Types, Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Canon Divergent from 5x07, Denial of Feelings, Endgame Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/F, Heartbreak, Humor, I am Supercorp Trash, Introspection, Jealous Kara Danvers, Lena becomes a vigilante, Lesbian Lena Luthor, Mistaken for Being in a Relationship, Mutual Pining, Secret Identity, Slow Burn, Slow Burn Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Snark, Superhero Lena Luthor, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, William died on the way to his home planet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:55:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 94,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25841716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inkedroplets/pseuds/Inkedroplets
Summary: After Lena confesses to Kara while they're in the Fortress together that she's known her secret for weeks. She leaves Kara encased in kryptonite-laced ice in the Fortress while leaving Myriad behind. Thinking Lena only needs space, Kara is more than happy to give it to her only to discover that L-Corp plans to relocate to Metropolis. While Lena has tried to convince herself that she's looking for a fresh start, she finds a very unhealthy way of coping.
Relationships: Diana (Wonder Woman)/Bruce Wayne, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Querl Dox/Nia Nal, Samantha "Sam" Arias/Alex Danvers
Comments: 389
Kudos: 725





	1. Starting Over... Again

**Author's Note:**

> "Believe me  
> Believe me, this loneliness won't go away  
> Hear me  
> Oh, woman that has gone astray  
> Gone astray"
> 
> -Keaton Henson 'Beekeeper'

Lena had always hated moving. Even for someone that never seemed to accumulate all that many personal belongings wherever she went there always seemed to be too much to pack and while she never shied away from hard work, there was something about moving that seemed particularly exhausting. Moving an entire company was even more troublesome. She had already moved L-Corp to National City and selling the board on a move back to Metropolis hadn’t been pleasant but seeing as they had little choice but to fall in line, there had really only ever been one outcome.    
  
She had been able to retain nearly ninety percent of the staff by offering a very generous relocation bonus that Lena had been more than happy to pay out of pocket for. Her reasons for the move were purely selfish and she was determined to do right by her employees. Those that either couldn’t or didn’t want to move had been given severance packages and assurance that they would get help finding them new employment elsewhere. 

The official announcement had been made in the morning and while it would be several weeks more until operations in National City would cease completely, today was to be Lena’s last day in National City. Her belongings were already in transit (what little there were of them) and she herself would be on a flight a little after four o’clock. It should have brought her some kind of peace and it still might but that would only have a chance to come once she had dealt with the one thing that she had penciled in on her schedule— _Talk to Supergirl._  
  
A letter would have likely sufficed or nothing at all. After everything that had happened between them, she didn’t think either of them owed each other anything but if any remnant at all remained of their relationship, it was best to sever it completely instead of leaving it in limbo. Not that Kara would likely give her the option to, which was why Lena had given her secretary instructions that Kara Danvers be allowed past security if she did come to pay her a visit and wasn’t at all surprised to hear the light knocking on her office door not an hour later. It was strange to glance up and see Kara looking at her from outside her office and not see her smiling. She was guilty as well, of course. Lena had been walking around with a perpetual frown for the better part of two months and the only change in an expression she could muster at the moment was something resembling a grimace.   
  
“Come in,” she yelled when she realized that Kara was not going to come in without an invitation.   
  
Funnily enough, the final proof for Lena that their relationship had truly ended was when she realized that Kara hadn’t brought along a bag full of fast food or coffee for the two of them from the place just down the street. She wasn’t empty-handed, however. Rolled up in her right hand was a newspaper that she threw down like a gauntlet onto her desk.   
  
“Is it true?” Kara asked.  
  
Lena took a breath and glanced down and got a better glimpse of the headline that the paper had chosen—Greener Pastures? L-Corp to return to Metropolis. She nodded. “Yes, it’s true.”  
  
“Were you going to tell anyone about the move?”  
  
“That’s what the article is for,” Lena said. “I’ve made the press sit on it for a while now, not the easiest thing or the cheapest. The employees have known for weeks, obviously but I didn’t want to make the official announcement until everything was settled, and I would be lying if I didn’t say that I wanted to minimize the fallout of such a move. The board is already angry enough with me, if our stock dips any lower, they’ll be out for blood at the next meeting.”  
  
“You’re going back to Metropolis? Just like that?” She asked and snapped her fingers to emphasize just how sudden she thought the whole thing was. She began to pace in front of Lena’s desk. “What about your life here? Your friends?”  
  
“I’ve been considering the move for months now.” Her eyes met Kara’s and understanding passed between them, not needing to elaborate on just when the thought had entered her mind. “My life _is_ L-Corp. And as for friends...” She shook her head and chuckled sadly. “I don’t have any.”  
  
“That’s not-”  
  
Lena held her hand up to stop her from continuing. “More importantly, now that Lex truly is gone… It might be best for L-Corp to return to Metropolis. Be the company it should have been from the beginning.”   
  
“You could do that here,” Kara said. “I thought that’s what you came here to do.”   
  
“I did. And I was wrong. I don’t want to retread old ground, Supergirl. We’ve talked enough about that for one lifetime.”  
  
“Why make me find out like this?” Kara said, clearly hurt.  
  
“The last time we saw each other, I nearly stole Myriad from the Fortress and left you encased in kryptonite and you…” She took a moment to compose herself. “You’ve been lying to me from the beginning… What more could we possibly have to say to one another? I’m tired of hurting, Supergirl and I’m tired of hurting other people.”  
  
“Then why see me? Why even let me come up to talk to you? I tried coming last week and got turned away…” She winced as if the memory brought about physical pain.   
  
“Be honest with me. If my secretary had turned you away today, would you have really gone? Or would you have flown in through the window?”   
  
“I’m sorry,” Kara said. She sunk down into the chair across from Lena’s desk. “I won’t ever come here uninvited again, not as Kara and not as Supergirl. But please don’t do this, Lena. You can’t just go.” She reached over the desk as if to make a grab for Lena’s hands and hesitated, letting her hands hover in midair for a moment before dropping them back to her sides.   
  
“The ink’s already dry,” Lena said not unkindly. “The board would have my head if I tried to back out now.” The corners of her mouth twitched and she was able to flash Kara a very small smile before it vanished completely. “I came to the city because I thought I could start over. That I could make a name for myself here. Be more than just another Luthor but I was wrong. Everything was the same here. I just didn’t realize it until now.” Her eyes appeared to sparkle but no tears fell as she stood up from her chair. “Maybe it’s naive to think that Metropolis could be any better than National City but I have no reason to stay here any longer.” _It hurts too much..._   
  
“When do you leave?” Kara asked. “You can’t just leave like this. We could get dinner… Coffee,” she amended quickly. “We don’t have to talk, we can just sit. And everybody else. They’ll want to say goodbye.”  
  
Lena shook her head gently. “I have a plane to catch. Today, actually. If you didn’t come to see me before then, I was going to leave you a letter.” Her brow furrowed and for a fraction of a second, Lena looked guilty. “I don’t plan on following in Lex’s footsteps in Metropolis. You don’t need to keep tabs on me. I promise that I’ll be good.”  
  
“I would never think that!” Kara said, clearly stung.   
  
“You did,” Lena said softly. “You asked James to spy on me, remember?” She saw that hit home immediately, Kara’s anguished expression immediately morphing into a guilty one. She brushed a tear away with the back of her hand and glanced away from Kara. “I was naive to think that I could be anything other than Lena Luthor. It would have saved me a lot of trouble if I realized that from the start.” She looked at the clock on the wall and stood up. “I should get ready. I need to say goodbye to everyone here and I need to beat that infamous National City traffic.” She walked around to the other side of the desk and held her arm out, the way she always did when escorting someone from her office after a meeting.   
  
“Lena… “ Kara shook her head and closed her eyes. “Please don’t leave.”  
  
“Goodbye, Supergirl.” She stuck out a hand to shake, unsure if Kara would accept. She very nearly withdrew her hand when Kara stuck hers out, clasping her hand tightly.   
  
“Goodbye, Lena.” Her upper lip trembled and she pulled her a bit closer as if she wanted to pull her into a hug and lost her nerve before she could go through with it. “If you ever change your mind… Ever want to visit…”  
  
“I won’t,” Lena said softly, not relishing the hurt that she saw on Kara’s face. “But thank you.” She tugged her hand free of Kara’s grip and walked to the door, trusting that Kara would follow after her. She opened the door for her and felt her brush past her to leave, feeling her heartbeat do that all too familiar double thump she associated so much with Kara being close that it had become almost Pavlovian. She watched Kara turn towards her, the fretful expression on her face replaced by one that looked to Lena as contemplative. Their eyes met and Lena felt her resolve that had seemed so ironclad in the weeks leading up to today, give just a touch before harsh reality came rushing back in and those cold walls went up again, encasing her heart in a shell she hoped was impenetrable.   
  
“Thank you,” Kara said in a thick voice, lingering in the doorway.  
  
“For what?” Lena asked, perplexed.   
  
“For letting me say goodbye.”   
  
“I wouldn’t want you to have to make a flight out to Metropolis to yell at me.” A ghost of a smile crossed her face.   
  
“I wouldn’t do that,” Kara said. She had given up on trying to brush away her tears, simply letting them fall.  
  
“I am sorry. For lashing out and hurting you. For almost becoming the monster that everyone thinks I am.” _Including you._ She looked down at the floor. “You were right not to trust me.” She reached out and gave Kara a small push in the back to get her moving. “If there’s ever anything that L-Corp can do to help Supergirl or the DEO, please don’t be afraid to ask.” She forced her most professional smile onto her face and held the door open for Kara, relieved when she stepped through. “Take care,” she said,   
  
“You too, Lena. I hope you find what you’re looking for in Metropolis.” She had one hand on the door and to Lena, it seemed she wanted to keep it there but let her hand fall away.   
  
Lena slowly closed the door, her eyes meeting Kara’s and holding the gaze until she shut the door completely. _Goodbye, Kara,_ she thought, listening to her footsteps grow fainter as she walked back to the elevator. She walked back to her desk and tapped the small icon on her monitor, bringing up the security feeds for the building. She watched Kara step out of the elevator on the first floor and felt a little stab of guilt when she saw her brush a tear away as she marched across the lobby. Only when Lena watched her exit the building did she allow herself to put her head down on her desk and try not to cry.   


* * *

Miraculously, her flight was neither delayed nor did she find herself stuck in traffic or held up during the check-in process. Her status as a Luthor helped in that regard just as much as it hurt. Being able to breeze through the more tedious parts of flying was a wonderful perk but the wait times often evened out with the number of times she was pulled aside and given a very thorough interrogation far from prying eyes.    
  
Settling into her seat, she leaned back into her seat. The weight that she had felt pressing down on her chest since shooting Lex, since finding out that her entire life in National City was built on a comprehensive lie, felt all the more oppressive and she could only pray that it would finally let up once she was out of the city.  _ I don’t need a fresh start,  _ she thought,  _ I just need to get away from all of these bad memories.  _ Bad ghosts were what she had begun to think of them as with how insistently they seemed to haunt her.    
  
When the plane began to prepare for takeoff, Lena leaned across to the window, sliding the shutter open and peering outside. She had no reason for doing it and while she gazed out of it intently, she would have never admitted to herself or anyone that she was hoping to catch a glimpse of red or blue or the fluttering of a cape in the breeze. Closing the shutter, she leaned back in her seat, pressing a finger against her temple and letting out a sigh. The plane began to lurch forward and she hastily buckled her seatbelt, pulled it taut, and closed her eyes, not wanting to open them until they landed.    


* * *

Returning to CatCo had been out of the question. Kara hadn’t even been able to call and say she wouldn’t be in again. She  _ had  _ sent a text and promptly put her phone on vibrate, ignoring the near-constant buzzing that went on for nearly an hour. Walking around the city in a vain attempt to gather her thoughts had gone just as well as she had expected it would. It was akin to trying to swim upriver. She kept getting buffeted by the same regrets that had haunted her since Kara had discovered the truth that Lena had been hiding from her. She had killed Lex to protect her, to protect everyone and in one final act of cruelty, he had shed light on the secret that they had all been keeping from her.    
  
She had had ample time to dwell on the depth of the rift that had formed between her and Lena imprisoned in the Fortress before she had been found. She had hoped that with time the rift between them would shrink enough for them to traverse but with Lena’s sudden departure, she had come to the realization that wasn’t meant to be.   
  
Hovering high above the clouds, she was careful not to dip low enough for her to register on Air Traffic Control’s radar. She watched Lena’s plane crawl across the tarmac, halt and then slowly begin rolling down the runway, picking up speed. As it slowly lifted into the air, Kara ascended with it, watching the plane climb higher and higher before leveling out. She watched it shrink further and further into the distance until it disappeared completely. Kara remained there for a time, tears falling down her cheeks as the sun began to creep closer to the horizon. She heard a distant siren and the telltale sounds of gunfire in the distance and took one last look in the direction of Metropolis before flying off, her tears drying themselves as she sped towards the crime-in-progress. 

* * *

_Three weeks later...  
_

“This sure feels like a demotion to me,” Sam said. “If you’re not satisfied with how I’m running things in Metropolis you really didn’t need to move back here to tell me so.” She grinned. “Should I put my two weeks in now or is this a clean out your desk, security is on their way to make sure you don’t make a scene on the way out kind of deal?”   
  
Lena smiled. “I already told you that this is the furthest thing from a demotion. If anything, you’re going to be far busier now that operations will be consolidated here. Feel free to give yourself a raise if you like.”   
  
“That would make sending Ruby to an Ivy League school a lot easier.”   
  
“Mmm. Depending on how generous of a raise, you might not even need to send her,” Lena snarked.   
  
“Food for thought, yes.” Sam polished off what remained of her coffee and leaned back in the seat she was in. “Now that you’re here,” she said and gestured around at Lena’s office. “Are you going to tell me what the real reason is behind the move?”   
  
“I already told you,” Lena said. She looked over her coffee cup at her.    
  
“I know the bullshit story you told the board about new opportunities for the company, but if you expect me to believe that, you really must not think all that highly of me.”   
  
Lena made a face and took another sip of her lukewarm coffee to buy herself a bit more time before having to answer. “I moved L-Corp to National City for a selfish reason, it makes sense that I would move it back for one.” She made a face that made it clear she had no desire to elaborate, not that she expected Sam to just let things lie.   
  
“And that selfish reason wouldn’t have anything to do with your friends back in National City, would it?”   
  
_ What friends?  _ “Why would you think that?”    
  
“Mother’s intuition.” She tapped the side of her head and smiled. “That or the fact that you don’t have a single photograph on your desk”   
  
“Thinking of moonlighting as a detective in your off-hours?” Lena asked.

“...Or that your secretary said you’re not accepting any of their calls.”   
  
“I’ll need to remind Jess what exactly an NDA is,” Lena muttered.    
  
“I think she’s just worried about you. Or she’s a gossip. Maybe both.” She smiled and reached across the desk to give Lena’s arm a little nudge. “If you ever want to talk about it.”   
  
“I’ll make sure not to tell Jess anything,” Lena said sourly.    
  
“You talk to me, dummy. Anytime.” She stood up and looked at her watch. “But right now I need to go be CEO for a little while longer until you decide to take your rightful place at the head of the table.”    
  
Lena rolled her eyes. “Your job is more than safe, Sam. If you think I would willingly go back to the unending meetings and business lunches…”   
  
“Well when you put it that way, I really better give myself a generous raise.”   
  
“I’d be disappointed if you didn’t,” Lena said.   
  
“And may I remind you that you’re the one who insisted on holding a charity gala, tonight, not me.”   
  
“You know the drill by now, Sam. A big move and every competitor will be looking for the tiniest flaw to exploit and poach our best employees or drive our stock prices down. A charity gala makes that kind of backstabbing so much harder to pull off without looking like a complete bastard,” she said cheerfully.  _ And… There’s someone I need to talk to,  _ she thought.    
  
“Yes, yes. I do love the cutthroat nature of business as much as the next person. I already added CEO to the list of professions I refuse to let Ruby pursue,” Sam said.    
  
“Oh really? What else made the list?”   
  
Sam had already slipped out of the room but poked her head back in to answer. “Superhero,” she said and gave Lena a frantic wave before speeding off.    


* * *

Lena normally hated these kinds of functions. The charity aspect of it was very rarely the main impetus behind the vast majority of donors attending. They opened their checkbooks because it made for a smattering of good press amongst the sea of bad that they could cling to like a life preserver when they found themselves in choppy waters but so few of them (if any) actually wanted to help. Most didn’t even seem to know what they were donating too unless reminded beforehand.    
  
If one was allowed a glimpse behind the curtain they would realize that it was nothing more than a chance to network and size up the competition while enjoying an overpriced dinner and as much champagne as they could drink. Lena couldn’t too self-righteous tonight though, not when she had her own ulterior motive for hosting such an event.    
  
Clad in a dark green one shoulder evening gown, Lena found herself making the usual rounds. Making sure to pose for the appropriate photo-op while working the room as best she could, all while keeping an eye out for the person she had planned the entire evening to talk to.    
  
When she felt a tap on her shoulder she turned around expectantly and was shocked to see Kara staring back at her. She had retreated back a step as if afraid to step any closer.    
  
“Hi,” she said and raised her hand in an awkward greeting.   
  
“Kara… What are you doing here?”    
  
“Working,” she said quickly as if Lena had just accused her of some impropriety. She held up her notepad and pushed her glasses up higher on her nose. “I came to cover the gala.”   
  
“I see. I didn’t look at the press list for tonight.” She couldn’t stop herself from making a face. It was normally the first thing she looked at. Knowing what reporters to avoid was paramount to having anything resembling a good time at one of these events. She had never imagined that she would ever lump Kara in with those she wanted to avoid.    
  
“I was hoping to ask you a few questions,” Kara said. “It wouldn’t take very long and you’d have the freedom to look over the article before it’s printed.”    
  
“That’s very generous,” Lena admitted. If Kara had approached her on the street and wanted to talk it would have been one thing to say no but to turn down an interview with free rein to make sure the piece never saw the silver light of day if she didn’t want was a very rare thing. And it would allow her the chance to shine a spotlight on the charity for the evening; Metropolis Orphanage. “I can’t promise you all that much time…”   
  
“I don’t need it.” She smiled. “Just ten minutes?”   
  
“Ten minutes,” Lena agreed. She gestured to a slightly more secluded corner where it would be a bit easier for them to talk without having to shout. 

Lena could tell that Kara was waiting for an opportunity to break the silence before getting down to business but the walk was either too short or they've simply lost their sense of timing. "Fire when ready," Lena said.

"Oh." Kara's face fell and she ruffled through her notebook for a moment. "Holding a charity gala so soon after moving back to Metropolis is very admirable. Is there any reason you chose Metropolis Orphanage to raise funds for?"

"I lost my own mother when I was young." A pained expression flitted across her face and she pushed onward. "Before I was adopted by the Luthors, I spent some time in an orphanage in Ireland. They did their best with what they had but were woefully understaffed and ill-equipped to take care of so many children. Luckily, Metropolis has far better programs in place but they could always use a little boost. With the donations from tonight, they'll hopefully not need to worry about funding for a long while." 

"That's wonderful," Kara said. "And while I'm sure you must be tired of being asked this… L-Corp's move from National City was so sudden. What was the impetus behind the decision?"

_ You _

"L-Corp's move to National City was one of selfishness on my part. In a bid to try and distance the company from Lex. It was hasty and one only need to look back at the amount of bad press over the years that would show how ineffective my methods were. I was naive to think that I could run from my family's name and I believe that there is a lot of good that can be done in Metropolis. L-Corp is still devoted to becoming a force for good. I know that earning the trust of Metropolis's citizens won't be easy but we are in no rush to prove ourselves. I understand that no amount of good that I or the company can do will ever be enough to persuade some…" 

"That's not true, Lena," Kara said softly.

"Agree to disagree," Lena replied. She flashed her well-practiced interview smile, held it for the appropriate amount of time, and let it slide away as if it had never been there in the first place. "Next question, Miss Danvers?" 

"Miss Danvers?" She recoiled slightly and shuffled with her notebook. "Yes… Can you share with us any projects that L-Corp is currently working on."

"Not at this time," Lena said. She felt a rush of relief when she was allowed to deflect such a softball question away. "Some projects were scrapped in the move from National City but we're too far away from announcing anything quite yet. We are very much looking forward to sharing news soon though." She looked over Kara's shoulder and laid eyes on who she had been keeping an eye out for. "I'm sorry." She checked her watch and saw that fifteen minutes had passed, five more than the ten that were promised. "I-" (have to go). "I have time for one more question if it's a quick one." 

Kara looked startled and flipped through her notebook again. "I- You don't have to answer this one if you don't like it. I can simply put you declined to comment… I would never ask this but I-"

"Don't make the rules," Lena finished. "What's the question?"

"Are you here with anyone tonight?" Kara asked, her cheeks tinged a cheery pink.

Lena couldn't help but laugh. Not her polite, I don't like you and you don't like me but I'm going to pretend that what you said was funny laugh, but an actual laugh. It dawned on her that it had been months since she'd actually laughed. "No." She took a step back to emphasize just how true that was. "I'm alone tonight. Just like every night," she added and grimaced. "Please don't print that last part," she said. "People already think I'm one lab accident away from becoming a supervillain, I don't need them thinking that I'm lonely as well…" 

She glanced over Kara's shoulder again. "You don't need to clear the article with me. I trust your journalistic integrity. But I do really need to go."

"Are you sure? It wouldn't be any trouble. I can delay the article until you've signed off on it…" 

"Oh really?" Lena shook her head. "Did you get a big promotion in the three weeks I've been gone?"

"No," Kara said, clearly embarrassed. "Of course not."

"Don't make promises you can't keep…" Lena blinked. "I have to go. I've already stayed too long." 

"I'm sorry, and thank you for your time, Miss- Lena."

_ Almost there,  _ Lena thought glumly, trying to focus on the task ahead of her. Diving into work had been the closest thing to respite from her own thoughts and if things worked out the way she planned she would have plenty to distract her. 

"Enjoy the rest of your evening…" She very nearly added a 'Miss Danvers' at the end of that and saw the miserable look that Kara had on her face and didn't have the heart to do it. “Enjoy the rest of your evening.” She worked her way through the crowd, feeling Kara’s eyes on her and resisted the urge to turn around. Of course, she should have expected Kara might be here. An event this big and with Lena hosting, she was sure that there were plenty of people that were curious as to what Lena Luthor was up to after leaving National City behind. Probably many of them waiting for her to find her embroiled in some kind of mess like Lex…    
  
Cutting her way past a number of people who tried to catch her eye, she sidestepped a waiter and was very glad that she had decided to wear heels. “Excuse me? Mr. Wayne? I was hoping to get a minute of your time. Two if you can spare it.”   
  
“Miss....”   
  
“Luthor.” She braced herself for the obligatory change in expression but was surprised when she saw none. Or would have been if she bought the aloof billionaire act. She may have hated playing these kinds of games but that didn’t mean she wasn’t very good at them.    
  
“Miss Luthor. You were the one who offered to double my donation if I made an appearance. I’m not one to tell you how to spend your money but you might have overpaid.”   
  
“For charity? Never. And I know just how hard it is to schedule an evening meeting with you…. She smiled at him. “I’ve seen the tabloids.”   
  
He chuckled. “I am starting to think that the paparazzi of Gotham has something of a grudge against me.”   
  
“Yes, I know the feeling. The paparazzi can be a bit much,” she said and glanced over her shoulder. “They drive me absolutely batty.”  _ That seemed to do the trick,  _ she thought. She had seen the subtle change in his posture that most others would miss. “I wanted to discuss a matching donation to the orphanage in Gotham, but I was hoping to pick your brain about the proper channels to go about it.”   
  
“Of course,” Bruce said. “Please, lead the way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I already feel like I've bitten off more than I can chew, but I will see this through to the end. Canon is going right out the damn window.


	2. No going back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara drags her feet leaving the gala while mulling over the hoops she needed to jump through to get there in the first place while Lena and Bruce come to an agreement of sorts.

_ “Enjoy the rest of your evening.” _

Kara had lobbied hard for the chance to cover that night’s gala. Just like everyone else at CatCo, she had thrown her hat in the ring. For everyone else, it was a cushy gig with a comped hotel room and free alcohol after lobbing a few softball questions at the attendees. For Kara, it was a chance to see Lena again without having to hide behind a paper-thin excuse as to what she was doing in Metropolis. Not that it hadn’t stopped her from coming to Metropolis but she hadn’t actually tried reaching out to Lena… She had never quite been able to muster the courage to do that. But after calling in a number of favors and promising to work untold amounts of overtime she had been given the assignment and while she hadn’t been expecting a reconciliation… She  _ had  _ hoped for more than twenty minutes alone with Lena    
  
She watched Lena cut an elegant path through the crowd of people, pausing now and again to exchange a few words with one of the other guests but never letting herself get pulled too snugly into their orbit. It was most likely a skill honed by years of attending such events and knowing how to work a room but Kara could only see an impassable wall that no one was meant to slip past, not even Kara herself.    
  
“Champagne, Miss?”    
  
Kara turned to the waiter and hastily waved her hand in front of her in a warding off gesture. Maybe if she were in a better mood or better company she would feel like actually making an effort to enjoy herself. “I’m fine,” she said and flashed them a small smile. She looked back in the direction of where Lena had been last and was shocked to see that her walking with Bruce Wayne of all people. She shouldn’t have been too surprised. The kind of circles that Lena called herself a part of were not all that big and if the rumors were correct, they were by far the most generous donors of the evening.    
  
_ Why didn’t you say anything about her donation?  _ She wondered, kicking herself for not working it into their conversation. Remembering how badly it went, she couldn’t help but come to the conclusion it was perhaps better that she didn’t. Would Lena think Kara expected the worse from her if she mentioned it? And then where would they be?  _ Where are you now?  _ A voice mused. She caught one last glimpse of the sight of Lena’s retreating figure before both her and Bruce were obscured by the crowd.  _ Nowhere,  _ Kara thought glumly.  _ I’m nowhere.  _ _  
_

* * *

  
  
“I really do want to discuss my donation to the Gotham Orphanage,” Lena said once the two had broken away from the party so that the buzz of conversation was diminished somewhat. “I may have had an ulterior motive for inviting you here tonight but I’m not a monster, regardless of what some people think.”   
  
“That’s very generous of you, Miss Luthor. Gotham has been a city on the brink for so long that many think it’s beyond saving… It makes fundraising a difficult prospect. Nearly half the people on tonight’s guest list have refused my last few invitations to a charity gala.”   
  
“Oh really? Well, it’s a good thing you decided to make an appearance. Shame is not an emotion that most of those here tonight are used to feeling. But there’s something else I wanted to discuss, first.”   
  
“And that is?”   
  
She stepped closer and dropped her voice to just above a whisper. “How you spend your evenings in Gotham.”    
  
“I don’t believe that has any bearing on tonight’s event, Miss Luthor.”    
  
“No,” she agreed. “It doesn’t, and I’m not looking to expose you or blackmail you.” She made a face and held her hands up in mock surrender. “I understand how hollow that might sound coming from a Luthor…”  _ Will I ever get to stop apologizing for that?  _

“No,” Bruce said. His shoulders remained tense but he no longer looked as if he was waiting for the other shoe to come down in one smooth stamping motion to crush whatever happened to be underfoot. “I’m well aware of all the good that you’ve done both with L-Corp and alone. This gala, for instance. Not to mention your work with Supergirl.”    
  
Lena bristled. She felt the urge to correct him, that while she  _ had  _ worked with Supergirl in the past, she had no plans to do so now or in the future. Not that she was about to offer that up. Not only was there no reason to, but it could also only hurt her chances of getting what she wanted.    
  
“What I don’t understand though, is what exactly it is you want, Miss Luthor. And seeing as I try to stay out of Metropolis as a professional courtesy...” he said, lowering his volume so that it matched Lena’s, “I hope you don’t mind if I ask you to speak a bit more frankly.”   
  
Lena blinked and she turned back and caught a glimpse of the crowd that she had intentionally led them away from before returning her gaze to him. “I want you to teach me how to fight.”

  
He blinked. “If this is about the multiple attempts on your life-”   
  
“Twelve. Twelve attempts in the last year alone.” She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “And it’s not.” Death threats and assassination attempts were simply something one needed to get used to considering her line of work and family name. Finding someone at the event tonight that hadn’t been the target of either would have been more difficult than getting one of them to make their donation anonymously.  _ Even Kara,  _ she thought, although those kinds of threats had been leveled at Supergirl herself and not at Kara specifically.    
  
“I did ask for frankness,” Bruce reminded her.    
  
“I want to do what you do. I want to help people.”   
  
“Which is what you’re doing right now,” he reminded her.   
  
Lena chuckled. “Yes, and as much as I like forcefully turning over the upper crust by their ankles and shaking them until money falls into the pocket of a worthy charity while providing serviceable food and drink for them to soften the blow, it’s not enough.”    
  
“Be that as it may-”   
  
“And I want to do more. I  _ need  _ to do more.”   
  
“-I don’t believe that you endangering yourself is the way to go about it. I’m sorry, Miss Luthor.”    
  
“Which is exactly why I pulled so many strings to see you…  _ Batman. ”  _ She wasn’t sure whether to be pleased to see that elicited some kind of response from him. She supposed it was better than nothing.   
  
“Why now? I’ve kept tabs on you... “ He gave a quick shake of his head. “If you’ve done your research on me than you know I keep tabs on  _ everyone.  _ You’ve never shown an inclination for what you’re suggesting.”   
  
“I worked closely with National City’s most famous vigilante, albeit one that worked a bit more inside the law than yourself. This isn’t completely out of the blue.”   
  
Bruce grew silent and remained that way for a time. “Is there someplace more private we can speak?” he asked, finally breaking the silence.   
  
“This way.” She pointed him towards a door leading out of the hall. The area was technically cordoned off but no one at the event would bat an eye at them slipping away for a moment. Half the people here would have gladly cut a check instead of actually showing up if the evening wasn’t a perfect excuse to network. She held the door open for him, letting him slip past her before shutting it behind her, immediately drowning out the sounds from the gala to a muffled drone.    
  
“We already did a sweep for bugs beforehand,” Lena assured him. “I have very little remaining goodwill with a lot of tonight’s guests considering how candid I can be with them and I would hate for the last of it to dry up by finding out some of their under the table dealings were leaked by someone looking to make a quick buck.”   
  
“I take it that your move to Metropolis has something to do with your sudden interest in vigilante work?”   
  
“Yes,” Lena said flatly. She took a breath to give her a little more time to gather her thoughts. Giving him only the cold hard facts about her reasons for coming here while keeping her personal feelings out of it entirely. Doing that, however, was like trying to tweeze identical-looking pieces of glass from a larger pile. There might have been differences but to Lena, they all hurt the same. “My working relationship with Supergirl was one based on what I believed mutual trust. She didn’t feel the same way. I understand, of course, but I work alongside enough people that think the worst of me. It became clear to me that no matter what I do, it will never be enough.” She shrugged. “Not that it will stop me from trying. I’ve always enjoyed the challenge.” The corners of her mouth curved upward for a moment. “But I would like to do something good with my life without my name hanging over my head like some scarlet letter. Without people waiting for the other shoe to drop.”   
  
“Have you considered donating anonymously?”   
  
Lena chuckled. “Was that a joke, Mr. Wayne? I already do that. And I know that you of all people know just how hollow that can be if all you do is throw your money at problems.”    
  
“Not a joke. What you’re considering is dangerous and selfish.”   
  
“Which has always been right up my alley.”    
  
“And if I refuse to help? What would your next step be?”   
  
Lena took no time at all to answer. She had already considered that very possible outcome. “Do it anyway.” Bruce’s expression didn’t change but she could tell that he was annoyed with her. She was excellent at reading people, which made Kara playing her for a fool all the more embarrassing. To have such a glaringly large blind spot…    
  
“Stupid question,” Bruce muttered. “I’m sure that Supergirl made things appear effortless, but it’s dangerous work, Miss Luthor and Metropolis already has Superman.”   
  
“Even Superman can’t be everywhere at once. His mere presence has done a lot in reducing crime rates across the board but that doesn’t mean it’s disappeared completely. The more worrying trend is the spikes in crimes while Superman is dealing with far larger crises. It’s not just the people of Metropolis that are in danger but the possibility that Superman being distracted by something going on in the city that could lead to disaster.”   
  
Bruce sighed. “Even if you’re right. Improving and rebuilding the city is just as important if not more important than what you’re suggesting.”   
  
“I wasn’t aware you were the only billionaire allowed to pull double duty.”    
  
Bruce fell silent again for a time. “I don’t know how much research you’ve done, but I don’t have the most stellar record with proteges.”   
  
“I’m not looking to be coddled.”    
  
“My answer is still no,” Bruce said, a note of finality in his voice.    
  
_ Well, that’s that,  _ Lena thought. “I see.”   
  
“But if you insist on going forward-”   
  
“I do.”   
  
“-then I have a proposition for you.”   
  
“I’m all ears, Mr. Wayne.”

“How long have you been head of L-Corp, Miss Luthor?”   
  
“Nearly six years.”   
  
“And you’ve taken a much more proactive role in the company than myself?”   
  
“Until quite recently, I  _ did,  _ yes.”   
  
“Then you know that determination and passion aren’t always enough.”   
  
“Yes,” Lena said, a sour note evident in her voice.

“I’m assuming you came to me to ask for training because you trust my judgment.”   
  
“Some of your business decisions have been questionable, but yes, I do.”   
  
“Then if I offer you a chance on the condition that if I don’t believe you’re capable enough, you’ll give up on the idea? Stick to less dangerous ways of saving the world.”   
  
Lena pursed her lips. “I would begrudgingly accept.”   
  
“Good.” He turned his wrist to glance at his watch. “There’s a matter in Gotham that has required my full attention. The only reason I came tonight is just how generous of an offer your donation was and a  _ very  _ persistent butler. But in the meantime, Wonder Woman owes me a favor, or at least I think she still does… She’ll train you and judge whether she thinks that you’re capable or not.”   
  
“Wonder Woman?”   
  
Bruce nodded. “ _ I  _ trust her judgment. She’s tough but fair and seeing as I’m only one of those things, you’ll have a far better chance if she’s the one to make the final call.”   
  
“Fair enough,” Lena said, cautious optimism creeping into her voice.   
  
“Can L-Corp spare you for a month or so?”

“Yes, L-Corp is in far more capable hands than my own. Sometimes I think I do more harm than good when I’m too closely involved.”   
  
“We have that in common, it seems.” The ghost of a smile crossed Bruce’s face. He checked his watch again. “Diana will be in touch. You may need to leave without much warning. Will that be a problem?”   
  
“As I said, L-Corp will be more than fine.”   
  
“I was talking more about your personal life.”   
  
“Let’s just say that us being obtrusive majority shareholders aren’t the only thing we have in common and leave it at that. Good luck, Mr. Wayne.”   
  
“The same to you, Miss. Luthor.”    
  
She walked him to the door and held it open for him.  _ One hurdle down,  _ she thought as she watched Bruce move expertly through the crowd.  _ Only about a million to go.  _ The task that lay before her was monumental but she wasn’t all that surprised to realize that she was smiling.    
  


* * *

  
  
Kara was doing exactly what Lena had asked her to do. She was enjoying herself. Or, she was  _ trying  _ to enjoy herself. She had plucked a flute of champagne from the tray of a passing waiter and made two laps around the room, taking in the ambiance. On the third pass around, she heard her phone buzz in her purse and she gripped the stem of the champagne flute between her thumb and index finger and fished her phone out, nearly dropping everything in the process. She didn’t need to look to see who was calling, but she did anyway.  _ Alex.  _ “Shit,” she muttered. She looked across the room and mulled finding someplace quieter to take the call, sighed, and slid her thumb across the screen to accept the call.    
  
“Kara? Are you almost here? I can’t stall much longer and the teams are already uneven as it is.”   
  
She was missing game night. Kara hadn’t forgotten exactly. In fact, she had just been texting Alex this morning about it before the Metropolis assignment came up at CatCo. She wouldn’t have felt so guilty about tonight if she hadn’t skipped the last few already. “Something came up at work. I’m really sorry, Alex.”    
  
“I was really looking forward to seeing you,” Alex said. “Where are you? It sounds noisy.”   
  
“I got stuck covering a charity gala,” she lied.  _ I certainly didn’t beg for the assignment or promise people favors to make sure I got it. Favors I definitely won’t regret tomorrow.  _ “I still need to get a few more quotes if I want the article to have any meat to it.”  _ That  _ wasn’t a lie. She had put all her proverbial eggs in one basket with Lena and hadn’t been in any state to actually go around hunting for someone who would be willing to give her an interview.    
  
“You got stuck with it? Isn’t that normally a pretty cushy gig? How did you get so lucky?”   
  
“Just lucky I guess.” Here she was lying again. Just what she needed in her life.

“Whenever you do finish up, Kara, if you’re not too tired you could always swing by. I feel like we always keep missing each other.”  
  
She could lie and tell Alex that she’ll try and swing by and that wouldn’t be a big lie. One of the white variety, but oh, how quickly those piled up… “I can’t. I’m sorry, Alex. I need to bring back receipts, it’s a per diem thing. If they don’t think I stayed in the city, I could get in a lot of trouble.”  
  
“Per diem? Kara where are you?”  
  
“Metropolis.” _And here comes the yelling,_ she thought. Tough love had been the soup du jour as of late and she readied herself for Alex to begin, giving her enough time to maybe hurry to another room before starting in.   
  
“Kara... What are you doing?”  
  
“Working,” she said tersely.   
  
“Oh come on, Kara. “I thought we….” She lowered her voice to just above a whisper. “I thought we talked about this.”  
  
_Several times. “_ This was work. I couldn’t just blow it off.”  
  
“OK… OK… I get it. I just, have you talked to Lena at all?”  
  
“Just to ask her a few questions about the event. And that’s it, Alex.”  
  
“I don’t mean to nag, Kara, I really don’t, I just… I want you to put this behind you-”  
  
“Alex…”  
  
“-because Lena certainly did.”  
  
Kara closed her eyes. “And I wonder why Alex.”  
  
“Really? Because I don’t. She left because she realized that she burned every last bridge she had in National City.”  
  
“Or maybe, Alex. Maybe she left because she found out everyone she ever cared about had been lying to her.”   
  
“Kara, I’m sorry. I just-”  
  
“I have to go. It’s getting late and I need to get a few more quotes for this article. “I’ll talk to you later.”   
  
“Kara… Wait.”   
  
Kara slid her thumb over the end call button and stowed her phone back in her purse. She looked down at her hand holding the champagne flute and realized that she snapped it cleanly in two. Catching a waiter’s eye, she sheepishly handed them the stem and drained what remained in her glass and set it clumsily on its side. “Sorry,” she muttered. She set off through the crowd again, her head low, listening intently.  
  
She caught snatches of conversation and some flirting that any other day she would have filtered out like so much white noise but. _Good luck, Mr. Wayne._ Kara turned just in time to see a door open and Bruce Wayne to step through followed closely by Lena. _What are they doing together,_ Kara wondered. She wasn’t so naive as to think that Lena would actually want to see her again or even that she would be as cordial as she had been during her impromptu interview but she still found herself cutting through the crowd. She came to a sudden halt when she saw Lena smile. _Is she smiling at him?_  
  
The thought was so unexpected that she came to an immediate stop. She teetered there for a moment before forcing herself to move again steeling herself to push through whatever unpleasantness Lena might toss her way. “Lena!” she called.   
  
A part of her still expected to see Lena turn towards her and flash that smile of hers that Kara was convinced could actually light up a room. Instead of that, all Kara can see on Lena’s face when she turned towards her was an expression of polite surprise.   
  
“You’re still here. You’re working hard.”   
  
“No,” Kara said and shook her head. “I’m really not.” She gestured to the crowd behind her and shook her head again. “I just wanted to thank you for the interview and for the champagne and for organizing this event. It’s so… You.”  
  
“I hope you meant that as a compliment…”  
  
“Of course I did!” Kara said loud enough to draw the eye of a few people nearby for a moment before they turned back to their own conversations. “Sorry,” she said in a quieter voice. “I’m just… I should go.”   
  
“Have a safe flight back.”  
  
“I didn’t fly. I mean… I did but. I took a plane here.” She tried to force a smile and might have succeeded if not for the stony expression on Lena’s face. “I will. Thank you…” Her flight wasn’t until tomorrow but that didn’t seem to have any bearing on the situation now. If they were still friends it might have meant a night spent gossiping or a movie and whatever junk food was on hand. But now? It meant a solitary night in a hotel room before heading back to National City.   
  
“Goodbye, Miss Danvers.” Lena stretched out a hand to shake.  
  
_Not Kara. Not anymore… And no more hugs…_ “Goodbye… Lena.” She clasped Lena’s hand in her own and released it soon after.   
  
“Still stubborn,” Lena said softly. “Have a good night.”  
  
_Yes,_ Kara thought. _Still stubborn._

* * *

  
“You just get back and now you’re leaving again?” Sam had pushed aside the documents she had been looking over and finally snapped the folder shut again.   
  
“I told you that your job was safe.”   
  
“Well, I wouldn’t mind if it was a little in peril if it meant you’d take some of these meetings off my hands.”    
  
“But you do a much better job than me.”   
  
“I don’t believe that for a second. Want to fill me in on where you’re going? Back to National City?”   
  
“Why would I go back there, Sam?”   
  
“Feeling homesick? I don’t know.” She shrugged and tried to catch Lena’s eye. “I just wish you’d tell me what happened there.”   
  
“Maybe when I get back.”    
  
“Or when hell freezes over. Got it.”   
  
“One of those two. I’m just going on a trip to get my head clear.”   
  
“Any idea when you’re going to be back?”   
  
Lena shook her head. “Maybe a month or two.”   
  
“You’re shitting me. You’re just planning to drop off the grid for a month or two and you’re just telling me now? Please tell me you’ll have a forwarding address.”   
  
“Email? Maybe?” Lena truly wasn’t sure what kind of reception if any she was bound to get wherever she was going.    
  
“Maybe? Perfect. If you want to start some fires on y our way out of the building too, Lena, that would be the cherry on top of the sundae.”   
  
“And here I went and forgot my lighter.”    
  
Sam rubbed at her temple with her hand and Lena felt for one brief moment that she was looking in the mirror. How many times had she made that exact pose?    
  
“Listen. If this trip will help you get out of your funk, I wouldn’t care if you were gone an entire year. And yeah, the company will manage without you. The board is going to rake me over the coals but I can deal with that. What I don’t like is the thought of Jess fielding daily phone calls from Kara asking where you’ve gone.”   
  
Lena bristled uncomfortably. “If Jess tells her to stop calling, she will.”   
  
“You don’t pay her nearly enough for her to do that. All I’m saying is maybe give Kara a courtesy call and let her know you’re going on a little holiday. Take her with you if you want.”   
  
“Very funny.”   
  
“I’ll be here all week.” She pulled the documents she had pushed away closer and leaned over them. “Call. Her.”    


* * *

  
  
For the first time since meeting Kara, Lena hoped to get her machine. Did Kara even have a machine? She can’t recall. She had deleted her number from her phone but she still remembered the number. It would take a lot longer for her to forget that. Shutting the door to her office, her thumb hovered over the call button for a few seconds before she pressed it.   
  
“Hello? Lena?”   
  
_ The first ring, are you kidding me?  _ Hello… Kara.” Miss Danvers was far too formal for such a phonecall and the last thing Lena wanted was to be accused of being petty.    
  
“What are you doing? I’m so happy that you called.”   
  
“Right… Listen, Kara. Sam suggested that I call and I see her point. I’m going on a little sabbatical for a while.”    
  
“Oh…”  
  
“I’ll be away for a while and I just wanted to let you know. It won’t be forever but I just thought you should know.”   
  
“Where are you going?”   
  
“I’d rather not say,” Lena answered honestly.   
  
“Of course,” Kara said quickly. “Sorry…”   
  
“Kara… You don’t need to keep apologizing for every little thing. Anyway… That’s all I wanted to say.”  _ It’s not,  _ she thought.  _ Not even close.  _   
  
“Can I ask you one thing, Lena?”   
  
“I guess that depends on what the question is.”   
  
“Does your trip have something to do with me?"   
  
Lena sighed. “No, Kara. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me. I just… I’m sick of being Lena Luthor,” she answered honestly. “So sick of it.” Her voice warbled and she cleared her throat. “But that’s the point of a vacation. You can get away from reality for a little bit.”   
  
“Lena…”   
  
“I have to go,” she lied. She hung up quickly, hating herself, hating just how much she wished that her phone would start to ring. 


	3. A little space and a little peace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara gets an unexpected visitor while Lena finally begins her training

It just so happened that Diana got in touch with Lena a few days after her uncomfortable phone call with Kara. The call had been brief, to the point, and a bit intimidating. There had been only a short exchange of pleasantries before Diana had told her to be at the airport tomorrow at three and hung up. Lena couldn’t be sure but she thought she could hear something that sounded like gunfire in the distance as she did.    
  


Laying in bed later, she wondered what she had signed herself up for. It wasn’t exactly cold feet that had her nervous but the rather stubborn concern that she might not be able to measure up. Bruce had been right, determination and passion were wonderful qualities but they didn’t guarantee success, sometimes the exact opposite, in fact, those qualities merely set one up for an even harsher fall. She couldn’t see through walls or leap tall buildings in a single bound or even bend steel and she was definitely not bulletproof. But then again, neither was Batman. Now it was up to her to see if she could measure up. It was something that had eluded her in National City. No matter how much good she tried to do or how much help she offered, it hadn’t been enough for the people that had supposedly cared about her. It hadn’t been enough for Supergirl. 

  
Any other night, Lena would have padded over to the bar and poured herself as many drinks as it took to silence the all too steady stream of intrusive thoughts and self-doubts that were already beginning to make their rounds, but she didn’t like the idea of starting her training with a hangover. She rolled over onto her side and sighed. The curtains over the windows were pulled almost completely closed so that only a tiny slat of the outside world was visible. If she squinted, it almost looked as if she had never left National City. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and tried to think of nothing at all. She didn’t fall asleep until just before dawn.   


* * *

It wasn’t so out of the ordinary for Lena to spend a good chunk of her time, airport hopping. It was however the first time that she boarded a private jet with no idea just where she was going. With a degree of trepidation, she approached the private jet with only a small bag slung over her shoulder. She normally packed two or three bags when traveling for work. With the sheer number of functions, dinners, and meetings that she had, she needed to lug around a makeshift wardrobe with her. This time around she had packed light, a few t-shirts, clothes she normally wore to the gym, and a number of essentials like a toothbrush, comb, and the like. Seeing all of that spread out on her table at home had made her feel like she was going to a summer camp instead of a crash course training session with Wonder Woman.    
  
Seeing Wonder Woman peering at her from the cockpit when she stepped aboard the jet was odd, to say the least. She raised her hand awkwardly and dropped it quickly back to her side. “Hello,” she said.    
  
“Lena?” She turned around in the pilot’s seat and extended her arm to shake. “It’s nice to meet you, I’m Diana.”

  
Lena shook, immediately noticing just how firm her grip was. “It’s an honor to meet you... Diana.” It felt supremely strange to be on a first-name basis with a superhero and had to remind herself that she had (for however short a time) been best friends with one.  _ Not best friends,  _ a voice reminded her.  _ Nothing.  _ “Thank you for doing this. I hope it’s not too much of an inconvenience.” She grimaced. “How could it be anything but?”    
  
“Come sit,” she said and gestured to the seat beside her. “No need to feel shy. We’re going to be seeing a lot of each other for a while. And it’s no trouble. I  _ did  _ owe Bruce a favor, although after this I think he’ll owe me two.” She laughed. “ I would have been a fool to turn down the opportunity.”    
  
Lena tossed her solitary bag in the corner and ducked so that her head just  _ barely  _ brushed the plane’s ceiling, sliding into the co-pilot’s seat. “Still, it’s a big favor and I can’t help but feel I blackmailed him into agreeing.”

Diana shook her head and cocked one of her eyebrows up. “Take it from someone who’s known Bruce a very long time. He doesn’t do anything unless he wants to.” She made a face that made it hard to tell if she admired that about him or found it annoying, perhaps both. “I was surprised though. When Bruce calls in a favor, they’re usually so much worse. Are you and him close?”   
  
Lena fiddled with her harness a bit. “No, not at all. We run in some of the same circles but I’ve only ever spoken with him on a few occasions. To be frank, I always thought he was a bit full of himself. I had no idea it was all an act. Like night and day.” It wasn’t all that different from how Kara presented herself. The number of times that she and Supergirl were on the outs while Kara had been all too happy to listen to her air her grievances about Supergirl… Pretend to be her friend while admonishing her the second she changed outfits…   
  
“Are you okay? You look a little pale. Do you not like flying?”   
  
Lena sat up straighter in her seat. “I actually don’t like flying, but it’s not that, I’m just a little nervous about the training.”   
  
“Do I look that scary?” she joked.   
  
“No, not at all.”    
  
“Try not to worry too much.” She smiled and began the takeoff procedure with the kind of confidence one only gets when a task has become second-nature.    
  
“I forgot to ask when you called, but where are we going?”    
  
Diana looked surprised, her hand frozen on the thrust lever. “Didn’t I say?” She laughed. “Themyscira. You’ll like it,” she said confidently.   
  
“I’m sure I will.” Lena heard that familiar rumble as the engines groaned to life and that almost imperceptible push forward as the jet began to creep down the runway. She would only be gone a month or so, but she felt that she might have found what she had been looking for when she had returned to Metropolis; a new start.    
  


* * *

  
  
Kara had been sorely tempted to stop by L-Corp after Lena had called. The only thing that had stopped her was the knowledge that the only reason that Lena had even called her was to make sure that she didn’t inundate her secretary with phone calls that Lena had no intention of returning. Had she called that often? It hadn’t seemed that way at the time but looking back, she realized just how many times during the day that she had tried getting in touch with Lena, even when it was clear that she had no desire to talk to her. If moving to a different city hadn’t been a big enough hint…    
  
She closed her eyes and would have liked nothing more than to put her head down on her desk and not think. Her computer screen was still a blank expanse of white, her cursor flashing incessantly, her own personal Tell-Tale heart. Her work had been slipping, her boss’s words, although she agreed with them completely. She had considered stepping away from her job and likely would have if not for Alex. She had already been watching her like a hawk after she found out that she had gone to Metropolis and didn’t want to give her any more reasons to give her another lecture. But if her work didn’t improve soon, the decision might be made for her.    
  
She was so deep in thought that she didn’t hear the sound of approaching footsteps, but she jerked up when someone knocked gently on the side of her desk. “I was just about to get started, Ms. Rojas.”   
  
“It hasn’t been so long that you’ve forgotten my name, has it?”   
  
“Sam? No, of course not. I- I thought you were my boss.” She stood up from her desk and hugged her.   
  
“You’re lucky I’m not. I would at least have opened up an old article open to make it look like you’re busy.”    
  
“Good advice,” Kara said. “What are you doing here?”   
  
“I’m wrapping up a few things with L-Corp. A lot of contracts that we had in place with the city got canceled in the move so I get to try and assuage every wronged party. My next meeting isn’t until later and I was wondering if you wanted to grab some lunch? My treat.”   
  
“I-” Kara looked around. “I’d like that a lot.”    
  
“Good,” Sam said and took a step back towards the door. “You might want to save that first.” She pointed at the blank document and smiled apologetically. “Come on, I’m starving.”   
  


* * *

  
  
Kara didn’t make the connection with her choice of restaurant (Big Belly Burger) and comfort food but she did feel marginally better after she had devoured her burger and the large pile of fries in front of her were reduced to a greasy little knoll. She dabbed at the corners of her mouth with a napkin and finally allowed herself to ask the question that she had wanted to ask since she realized that it was Sam that had come knocking. “How’s Lena doing?”   
  
Sam paused, a fry halfway to her mouth. Staring at it for a moment, she set it down after another few seconds of contemplation and gave Kara a small shrug. “She’s been keeping busy.” She sighed. “She’s actually why I wanted to talk with you,” she said and brandished a fry, waving it in front of her. “If you haven’t figured that out already.”    
  
“No,” Kara said softly. “I figured.”   
  
“You are the reporter, after all.” 

_ For the time being, yes,  _ Kara thought glumly.  _ Check back in, in a week or two. _ _  
_ _  
_ “She left early this morning on a trip. I got a text, at least. I’ve sent her two emails about work. No idea if she actually got them or not. If I were here I would pretend I didn’t have any reception wherever I was, even if I did.”   
  
“Lena called me the other day and said she’d be going away for awhile… I didn’t know it would be so soon.”    
  
“So she did call you. That’s good to know some of the advice I give her sticks now and again.” She balled up her burger wrapper and tossed it back down onto the tray. “Listen, I know it’s not my place to pry, but I know that something happened and Lena has never been the kind to open up to me… Or anyone for that matter-”   
  
_ No, that’s not true,  _ Kara thought.  _ She opened up to me. And look how you repaid her,  _ a voice chimed in.    
  
“-but I know how close you two are.” She gazed back at Kara. “Or maybe were?”   
  
Kara had already looked miserable enough but her mouth that had been set into an impossibly thin line turned downward. The change was drastic enough and sudden enough that Sam looked almost alarmed.   
  
“I didn’t come here to gossip or stick my nose where it doesn’t belong. I certainly didn’t come to make you feel awful.”   
  
Kara shook her head quickly. “I would never think that and you'd be a little late for that, anyway.” She smiled sadly and glanced away. “I hurt her,” Kara said plainly, not knowing how else to describe it. “We fought and I thought that I could make it right somehow, but I don’t know anymore.”    
  
“I’m really sorry to hear that,” Sam said. She shook her head and sighed.    
  
“How is she really?” Kara asked.    
  
“Before her sabbatical, she attended board meetings and found her groove pretty quickly. Project-wise I think she’s been a little rudderless but with the sudden move to Metropolis, I’m not surprised. By all appearances, she’s doing fine, but that’s not what you asked me, is it?” She pursed her lips and appeared to weigh her options carefully before answering. “As I said, Lena isn’t the easiest person in the world to read. But from what I can tell… She’s having a hard time with it. A  _ really  _ hard time.”    
  
Kara grimaced and shut her eyes. As much as Alex had tried to convince her that Lena’s move to Metropolis had been a pragmatic choice after burning all her bridges, she had never believed that to be true. She was hurting and Kara didn’t know what she could do to make it any better. “It’s my fault…”    
  
“After everything, she did for me and for Ruby." She mouthed the word _Reign._ "I would do anything for her.” Her voice shook for a moment. “It’s probably why I don’t step down from the CEO position.” She smiled briefly before continuing. “I do hope that you two can find a way to patch things up… And I don’t want you to give up on Lena-”   
  
“I would never give up on Lena,” Kara assured her.    
  
“Good,” Sam said. “But,” she said, carefully, “with her going off to God knows where. I think that some space might be good for her. At least for a little while.”   
  
“Oh.” Comprehension dawned on Kara’s face and her face crumpled. “I see…”   
  
“If you ever have trouble securing an interview, Kara, you might want to try turning on the waterworks.” She joked and patted her hand gently. “I’ve never kicked a puppy but I have to imagine it feels a lot like making you almost cry.”   
  
“I’m fine,” Kara said quickly. “And it’s not you,” she assured her.    
  
“I don’t mean forever, but maybe she does need some time.” She rolled her eyes. “I think that moving to a new city is a bit overkill but that’s just me. She hasn’t said as much but I know that she misses you.” She turned her wrist towards herself to look at her watch and groaned. “And on that lovely note, I have another meeting I have to run to. Are you going to be OK? I can always reschedule. The fun thing about being the acting CEO of L-Corp is that you can kind of throw your weight around when you need to.”    
  
“I’ll be OK, Sam.” To Kara’s ears, it  _ almost  _ sounded believable. “I am way behind on almost everything in my life so I’ll have that to distract me.”   
  
“You know you can always text me, right? Anytime. Everyone else that I work with seems to think I’ve given them permission to do so already but I’m actually giving it to you.”    
  
“I don’t want to bother you.”   
  
“I know you don’t, but I’d be a lot more worried about you if you don’t reach out.” She stood up and bent down to give Kara a hug. “Text me, because I’m sure as hell going to text you.”    
  
“I will,” Kara promised. She waved her hands as if to shoo Sam away. “Go on. Don’t let me make you any later than you already are.”    
  
Sam looked apologetic but took one step closer to the door. “Next time we meet up I promise not to make you almost cry,” she half-joked. “Text me tonight,” she said and bent down to give Kara another quick hug.    
  
Kara nodded and once again shooed her out. She watched Sam go, somehow missing Lena even more than she had before. The one bright light at the end of what was an incredibly dark tunnel had been Sam telling her that she thought Lena missed her. She hoped that it was true but knew that didn’t guarantee that they would find their way back to one another. For now, all she could do was give Lena what she deserved; time to heal.   
  


* * *

  
  
Lena couldn’t remember her body ever being so sore. After the first day of training, she had believed that she had made it over the proverbial hump. It must have shown on her face too because Diana had given her an almost pitying look that she hadn’t been able to grasp until she tried to roll out of bed and found that every muscle in her body felt as if it had come aflame. She would have loved nothing more than to fall back into bed and wait for death but forced herself to sit up before slowly but surely sliding herself out of bed. No sooner had she done so when she heard a knock at her door.   
  
“Lena? Are you awake?”   
  
“I am,” she called, surprised that even  _ that  _ seemed to cause her a little bit of pain.    
  
“Can I come in?”   
  
“Of course,” she said. There was no mirror in the room but she had only needed to run a hand through her hair to know that she must have looked awful. She might have tried to sit back down on the bed if she wasn’t worried that she might have trouble standing again if she did.    
  
Diana opened the door and stepped inside. “I would have let you sleep a little longer but…”   
  
“No,” she said and shook her head. “It looks like I slept in,” she said and gestured to Diana who looked as if she had been up for several hours, at least.”   
  
“A bit,” she said kindly. “But considering the day you had yesterday, I’m impressed that you’re up at all.” She smiled warmly. “Some Amazons don’t fare so well after training like that.”   
  
“If you ever tire of being a superhero Diana, you’d make an excellent businesswoman. Flattery is so very often the key to good negotiations.”   
  
“Always nice to keep one’s options open.” She crossed her arms and took a step back, examining Lena shrewdly. “Today I thought it best to keep today the training relatively light today.” She smiled. “I’d hate for you to think that I’m a harder taskmaster than Bruce.”    
  
“Please don’t hold back on my account,” Lena said. “I didn’t pursue this on a whim.” A bit of defiance shone on her face and she drew herself up to her full height which didn’t mean all that much considering that Diana towered over Lena.    
  
“Rest is necessary for everyone. One of the first lessons that every warrior should learn and one that Bruce refuses to.” She arched an eyebrow and she gave a small shake of her head. “Get dressed. I’ll be just down the hall.” She excused herself and shut the door behind her.   
  
Wincing slightly, Lena walked to the shelf where her armor lay folded. She had been worried upon first seeing what she would be wearing during her time on Themyscira that she would feel foolish. Admittedly, she had a  _ teensy  _ bit if only because she believed that she stuck out like a sore thumb. A pretender, which she supposed that was what she was, at least for a while longer. That, and she was a great deal shorter than everyone else she had met on the island. 

  
The armor reminded Lena of exhibits she had seen on Roman armor or what remained of it. The overlapping bands of armor were not overly heavy although they felt that way today and while form-fitting it hadn’t impeded her movement at all. She had been the tiniest bit skeptical about the skirt but she had been proven wrong, the greaves offered adequate protection and while she had already begun to brainstorm ways she might improve on its design, she hadn’t once thought that she was being dismissed. Bruce might have passed the buck, metaphorically speaking but he had left her in what she knew were more than capable hands.    
  
Once dressed, Lena slipped from her room and made her way down the hall. Diana was waiting for her at the end of the hallway holding a bow in her hand with a quiver slung over her shoulder.    
  
“Have you ever shot before?” Diana asked, falling into step with Lena, her pace slowing almost imperceptibly to keep in time with Lena’s stride.    
  
“Not a bow. A lot of firsts for me here.”   
  
Diana smiled. “Not many people set foot here. I’ve been making strides to open up better communication between your world and my people. It’s been slow work. The Amazons are meant to protect the world of man, living alongside them however is a new challenge. Having you here is a very good opportunity to show the more skeptical that there are good people that want what we want.”   
  
“There are better people than me,” Lena said.    
  
“Of course there are. That’s why we all try to better ourselves, but don’t sell yourself short, Lena.”   
  
Lena couldn’t quite manage to say thank you but she did nod to let Diana know that she understood. She had believed even before working with Supergirl that she was a good person. Learning the truth about Kara had not only planted seeds of doubt but had cared for them tenderly enough that their roots grew incredibly deep. And maybe she was right… Which made her all the more determined to see this through, to do what she had set out to do when she had come to National City in the first place. She had come to make the world a better place, to protect the people that Lex had seen fit to use and toss aside at his leisure. She hadn’t gone to make friends or to build a life there or fall in love…

Several wooden targets that to Lena looked incredibly small lay in the distance and while she had hoped they might walk closer, Diana came to a stop and rolled her shoulder, handing her the quiver and then the bow.    
  
“I don’t mean to be negative, but I have a better chance of shooting lasers from my eyes than hitting that target.”    
  
“Can you see the future? Bruce didn’t tell me you were a metahuman.”   
  
“No,” Lena said flatly and hiked the quiver up higher on her shoulder, reaching inside to pull an arrow out.    
  
“My intention is not to build you into a warrior, although I will do my best to do that as well. I want to know why you want to protect people, and if you’re truly ready for the kind of life.” Diana pointed at the target. “Try and hit that one. Fire all your arrows and then go and collect them.”   
  
Lena carefully nocked the arrow, drew back the bow and felt her already sore muscles begin to protest as she brought the bow back. She aimed, trying to resist the urge to close one eye while she did and fired. She watched the arrow fly, it looked almost like a wet noodle, appearing to wiggle in the air and sink into the ground far from the target.   
  
“Not bad,” Diana said.   
  
“Not good either,” Lena said and pulled another arrow from the quiver.   
  
“Why do you want to be a hero, Lena?”   
  


Lena focused on pulling back the bowstring before answering the question. “I thought that I was one. I had someone that I thought was a…” She struggled to find the correct word. Friend didn’t seem like the right word. Her and Supergirl weren’t exactly bosom buddies, at least not to the best of Lena’s knowledge at the time. “Partner,” she said, not thinking of anything better. “Someone I worked with when I lived in National City.”   
  
“Supergirl?”   
  
Lena felt her concentration slip at the mention of Supergirl and accidentally let the arrow fly, this one going far too wide and winced, thankful that it hadn’t been her first arrow. She cleared her throat and nodded. “Yes, Supergirl. I thought that she believed in me, trusted me.” She shook her head. “You know my brother,” she said, sure that Diana could fill in the blanks.   
  
“Yes,” Diana said carefully and pointed at the target to remind her of her task. “That has no bearing on your actions or on yourself, Lena.”   
  
_ I thought so too.  _ “Supergirl doesn’t agree with that sentiment but nobody seems to. I want to help people.” She drew the bow back again, the muscles in her arm already beginning to ache. “I don’t want credit or to try and leave behind a favorable legacy. I just want to do what I can for the betterment of mankind with the little time I have on Earth. But I'm tired of everything thinking the worst of me and I don’t want people’s trust in me to be on a contingency basis. Everything that I do, people think that I have an ulterior motive as if they’re only waiting for the other shoe to drop. I’m just…” She took a breath and aimed again, letting the arrow fly. “I’m sick of that other shoe.” The arrow sunk itself just left of the bullseye and Lena couldn’t stop herself from doing a little jump.    
  
“ _ Very  _ good,” Diana said, sounding pleased. “And Lena?”   
  
“Yes?”    
  
“If I am able to recommend that Bruce help you continue your training after this. I would be more than happy to assist you in any way I can.” She reached into the quiver on Lena’s back and handed her an arrow for her to nock.   
  
“Thank you…” Lena took the arrow, lined up her shot before drawing the bow back, and let the arrow fly. She watched it fly, landing an inch to the left of her other arrow.   
  
“I know you must be aware of how dangerous what you plan to do is, Lena. I just want to be sure you know what you’re getting into.” The expression on her face hardened. “The life of a warrior is not always meant to be a particularly long one.”   
  
“I’ve never worried about my mortality.” She laughed. “I’ve had dozens of attempts on my life already. And if the worst were to happen, I’ve already made arrangements so that the bulk of my estate will continue to be used in a way to help those in need. I don’t need a long life, I just want a fulfilling one."   
  
  
“Why did you seek out Bruce of all people for help? She smiled mischievously. “Most people think he’s too grumpy.”   
  
“Similar skill sets,” Lena said, smirking a bit. She pulled another arrow from her quiver and gave it a small flourish before lining up her shot. “We’re both rich,” she joked. Her next shot landed closer to the center of the target and she pulled the last arrow from the quiver, lining up her shot, her arm beginning to burn from the strain. “What about you, Diana? Do you think he’s too grumpy?”    
  
Diana’s cheeks went the faintest bit red at the question and her arms crossed over her chest, looking much more the part of strict drill instructor as Lena’s final arrow flew and hit home in that same tight cluster. “Go get your arrows,” she said.

  
Lena shouldered the bow and began to jog over to the target. She bent low to pick up the arrow that had gone wide and winced at the pain but added it to her quiver without slowing. The arrows stuck in the target were harder for her to pull out and some of the blisters that had formed from yesterday’s training threatened to burst and likely would by day’s end. Yanking the last one free, she let out a small hiss of pain and gave the arrow a little twirl before putting it back into the quiver, realizing then that she was smiling and had been for some time. It was the first time that she had been able to break free from that spiral of thoughts that had without fail sucked her down into a spiral of pain and heartbreak. Those thoughts would likely return when she lay awake at night but those hours would be short. Her training exhausted her to the point that she had fallen asleep not long after she had fallen into bed.    
  
Jogging back to where Diana still stood, she found her thoughts drifting to Kara and she looked skyward for a moment as if she expected to see her floating above her watching.  _ Would you be proud of me, Supergirl? Or would you think the worst?  _   
  
“Again,” Diana said and took three big steps back. “Start from here.”   
  
Lena didn’t scoff this time, she merely walked over to Diana so that they were shoulder to shoulder, raised her bow, and readied an arrow. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing it.


	4. A lowkey departure and one happy return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena's training continues and Kara makes her own decision in a bid to move on from the fallout of Lena leaving National City

It dawned on Kara on her way to Ms. Rojas’s office that she had spent more time on her resignation letter than she had spent on her last article. That alone was proof enough to her that she was making the right choice. Not that she thought handling a gossip article demanded much attention, but she knew exactly why she had been given the assignment in the first place. Her work had been sloppy. Subpar was what Ms. Rojas had called it. Kara thought she had been rather tactful about her criticism. Compared to her other work it was laughable, especially when there was a Pulitzer back at her apartment that had until recently been displayed prominently on her mantle.   
  
It had gone in a box that was now under her bed along with a few of her other belongings that she couldn’t quite stand to look at. Truthfully, what had made her happiest about the night of the Pulitzer party had been believing that Lena had found a way to forgive her for keeping such a monumental secret from her. She hadn’t known just how long or how much she had been hurting. If she had, would anything have changed?   
  
She pushed that thought from her mind. Not completely and not for long. The best she could do was sorting such thoughts in a ‘for later’ pile that she could sort through instead of sleeping. When she approached Ms. Rojas’s office, she hovered outside of Ms. Rojas’s door before gathering the courage to knock.   
  
“Come in,” Ms. Rojas called. As always her voice seemed to toe the line between authoritarian and sour that made it nearly impossible to read her mood.   
  
“I just need a minute of your time, Ms. Rojas.” Kara slid into her office and shut the door behind her gently.   
  
“You don’t have any assignments today, or wasn’t that clear during yesterday’s meeting?” She continued to tap away at her keyboard, the reflection of her in the glass making it clear that she really was _that_ busy and not simply trying to brush Kara off which she had been guilty of in the past.   
  
“No, it was very clear.” She took a step closer to Ms. Rojas’s desk and set the envelope she had clutched in her right hand on top of it. “It’s my resignation letter.”   
  
The tapping stopped abruptly and she looked up at Kara. “Resignation?” She reached for the letter and slid it across closer to her but didn’t open it. “I see.” She pushed her keyboard forward and crossed her arms in front of her on the desk. “Your work has been somewhat _lacking,_ lately. All the same, I’m sorry to lose you, Kara.” Your recent work notwithstanding, you were an excellent reporter.” She sighed. “I’ll be honest, I was going to recommend you take some time away. I understand that we can’t always bring our A-game but I need to know that everyone here _wants_ to be here.”   
  
“I’m sorry,” Kara said. “I truly am. CatCo means the world to me, but you’re right, I can’t give it the proper attention that it deserves.”   
  


“If you ever change your mind, I can’t promise you that a reporter position will be waiting for you, but I do hope that you look here first before shopping around. I would hate to lose the old you to a rival."  
  
“I’ll keep that in mind.” Kara summoned a weak smile. “Could you do me a favor and not tell everyone that I’ve resigned until after I’ve left?”   
  
“Not a fan of goodbyes?” Andrea observed her shrewdly, looking almost amused.   
  
“No,” Kara said and shook her head. “I’m not. I’m really not.”   
  
“Suit yourself.” She rose up from her seat and stretched out her hand to shake. “I know that we didn’t always see eye-to-eye, but I do wish you the best, Kara.”   
  
“Thank you, Miss Rojas.” She shook her hand, a little surprised at how firm her handshake was.   
  
“A little unsolicited advice?” she asked and continued on without waiting for Kara to answer either way. “If this is all over a guy, I suggest you snap out of it quickly.” She returned to her seat and pulled the keyboard closer to her. “Replacing you will be no easy matter. Have a good day, Kara.” She gave Kara a small nod and returned to her work, the sound of typing filling the room.   
  
Kara took that as her cue to leave and slipped out the door, shutting it behind her as quietly as she could. She expected a wave of regret to hit her now that the deed was actually done but she found herself feeling more guilty that she _didn’t_ feel much of anything to be putting such a big part of her life in the rearview mirror. Maybe because she had so recently lost an even larger part so recently.   
  


“Kara?”  
  
She felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to see Nia smiling at her, her arms crossed over her chest.   
  
“Hey, Nia.”   
  
“Hey,” she said warmly. “I just wanted to grab you really quickly, I was wondering if you wanted to maybe get lunch later? Totally fine if you don’t want to, but Brainy and I would love it if you came.”   
  
Kara’s face fell and she opened her mouth to decline when Nia waved a hand out in front of her hastily. “It’s fine! Maybe next time?” Nia smiled again and took a step back.   
  
“Do you have time to grab a coffee?” Kara asked. “Can you meet me at Noonan’s in fifteen minutes or so, if you can get away. I don’t want to take you away from your work.”   
  
“I’ll see you there,” Nia said and flashed her a thumbs up and a faint smile, retreating so quickly that Kara wondered if she was afraid that Kara might change her mind if she lingered.   
  
Kara had grown very used to seeing that kind of smile as of late. It was the smile she associated with canceled lunch dates and turned down invitations for coffee and karaoke of which Kara had accumulated plenty since Lena had left for Metropolis. It wasn’t just that she was hurting, because she was, but it was how _wrong_ it felt for things to go back to normal when so much had changed.   
  
She returned to her desk and pulled the small box she had already gathered most of her personal belongings closer to her. The last vestiges that this particular desk had ever been Kara’s were a number of photos lined up neatly along her desk. One of her and Alex standing around the small Christmas tree she had set up in her apartment two Christmases ago. Another of everyone huddled in close around a Scrabble board taken just moments before a particularly contentious win for Brainy. She plucked them both off her desk and deposited them into the box. The last photo—the one she had found herself looking at most often—was of her and Lena leaning in close together over a small birthday cake that Kara had brought to her office on her birthday last year.   
  
It was the last thing to go into the box before she took one last quick look around the office, scooped the box up under her arm and walked to the elevator. 

* * *

  
Noonan’s was, as always, fairly busy but not so much that Kara couldn’t find a table near the window. She had just set her box of things down by her feet when Nia walked in. She spotted Kara, waved, and walked over, settling down in the chair opposite her.   
  
“Did you already order?” she asked. “My treat if you haven’t.”   
  
“Not yet. I just got here.” She smiled and shook her head. “It’s on me, today. For all the times I’ve canceled on you.”   
  
“Kara…”   
  
“Latte? Extra cinnamon?”   
  
“Yeah,” Nia said. “But I have next, OK?”   
  
“You have next,” Kara said and stood up. “I’ll be right back.”   
  
She came back a few minutes later, setting Nia’s latte down in front of her before sitting down.   
  
“Thank you,” Nia said and took a careful sip. She looked at the drink in front of Kara and then at Kara. “Black coffee today? You _always_ get a pumpkin-spiced latte.”   
  
“I didn’t sleep very well last night. Late night working,” she lied. Her patrolling as Supergirl had nothing to do with her not being able to sleep well but she didn’t have any desire to get into that with Nia.   
  
“I get it,” Nia said and took another sip of her latte. “What did you want to talk to me about?”   
  
Kara hesitated for a moment and pointed at the box near her feet. “I resigned from CatCo today.”   
  
“Kara… You didn’t… Did Ms. Rojas… Did she-”   
  
“Fire me?” She shook her head. “No, Nia. Although, if she had, I wouldn’t have blamed her.”   
  
“But you love being a reporter... “ Nia bit her lip and took the hand that had been closed around her cup and placed it on Kara’s arm. “You can’t just walk away from that.”   
  
_I already did._ “I did. I do… But I need to step back for a bit. Get my feet back under me.” She drummed her fingers on the table. “I didn’t want you to find out at the end of the day like everyone else will. And… I wanted to ask you for a favor.”   
  
“Name it.”   
  
Kara looked at her sadly, wishing she had been just a bit hesitant, it would have made her feel a lot less guilty about asking her for such a massive favor. _For her to lie._ “Can you not tell Alex that I quit? I’m going to tell her, I just.” She closed her eyes and rubbed at her temple. “I can’t right now.” Ducking game nights and the occasional dinner out was one thing but avoiding Alex had been something that she hadn’t had the heart to do and even if she had, Alex wouldn’t have given her the option. It was the first time she truly understood the depths of her sister’s persistence that had rocketed her up the ladder at the DEO and knew that if she didn’t break the news _exactly_ right to her about resigning she might find herself the focus of a very uncomfortable intervention.   
  
“I did say anything…” Nia said, looking as if she deeply regretted those exact words. “But, Kara… I wouldn’t feel comfortable lying to Alex…”   
  
“We did to Lena, how is this any different?” The question had sprung to her lips too fast for her to stop it, immediately regretting it. “Nia, I’m so sorry." She shut her eyes tightly. "I know it’s not the same thing. My secret wasn’t yours to tell, it was mine. All mine.” She bent down to scoop up the box and stood up. “It wasn’t fair of me to ask you to-”   
  
“I’ll do it,” Nia said. Her gaze was fixed on the table and while she looked up at Kara, she looked away almost immediately. “I won’t say anything.” She gave her latte an unnecessary stir, scraping the bottom with the plastic stirrer. “I’m sorry, Kara. I really miss her too."

Kara nodded stiffly. "I shouldn't keep you any longer. I wouldn't want to get you in trouble."

Nia looked like she wanted to stay but she nodded begrudgingly. "If you change your mind about dinner," she said. "Or if you need anything else-"

"Call you," Kara finished. "I will, Nia. It means a lot." She turned to go when she felt Nia's hand close around her wrist.

"You're not leaving National City too? Are you?" She chuckled nervously, treading the precarious line between joking and truth-telling. 

"National City needs Supergirl," Kara said plainly. _I'm just not sure if it needs Kara Danvers._

"I shouldn't have asked… I just… I don't want to lose anyone else." 

Kara offered her a trembling smile. "Me either." She set the box down on the table and gave her a brief hug. "Let me walk you out." 

Nia stood up and they walked out together, Nia still clutching her latte in her right hand and Kara balancing both the box full of her things and her coffee. 

"I'll see you soon?" Nia asked, with a delicateness usually reserved for inpatients.

"Soon," Kara promised. "Try and stay on Ms. Rojas's good side."

"I'll let you know if I find one."

Kara smiled. "You do that. Another coffee date soon though, I promise."  
  
"I can't wait," Nia said, smiling a bit more naturally.

* * *

_2 months later_

If anyone had asked Lena about any changes that had occurred during her time on Themyscira, she would have told them that there had been none. She didn't feel all that different and compared to the Amazons that she was surrounded with she still couldn't hold a candle to them. 

But there _were_ changes. Nothing incredibly drastic or earth-shattering but changes nevertheless. They were most noticeable to her in the bath. She would have considered herself fit but never anything beyond that. Whatever exercise she was able to squeeze into her overly busy days acted more as emergency stress relief than anything resembling a workout routine. She had noticed the first hints of musculature after the first month of training. It had been less a surprise and more a relief that all the pain after her long training sessions were not simply an exercise in masochism. 

Looking at herself in the mirror now she could admit to herself that she bore a resemblance—however faint—to the Amazons, she had spent her days' training with. If she stayed longer on the island she would likely make the similarities more pronounced. Diana had floated the idea of extending her stay which Lena had seriously considered. She might have if not for the fact that staying any longer than she needed would have felt more like hiding away than moving forward. 

Knowing that today would be her last training session with Diana, she was more determined to do well, especially since she had so far remained mum on her evaluation. Lena thought it was going well, but she couldn’t be sure. It was in her nature to examine things from every angle. From a purely physical standpoint, she believed that she was doing well, but strength and athleticism did not a vigilante make. Whatever it was that Diana was looking for, she wasn’t so confident that she had it.  
  
She took one last look in the mirror, tied her hair back into a messy ponytail, and turned on her heel to make her way to the training grounds. It was a routine that she would miss dearly when she was back in Metropolis. Her time in Themyscira had been the furthest thing from vacation (and she had the bruises to prove it) but she still found a small measure of peace that she hadn’t found in Metropolis, no matter how deeply she buried herself in her work. 

Diana waved to her as she approached and Lena waved back, jogging over to her and coming to a stop in front of her. “I’m not late, am I?”  
  
“Maybe a little,” Diana teased. “But seeing as it’s your last day? I think I can let it slide.”   
  
Lena looked around expectantly. “No bow training today?” she asked, noticing that the wooden targets that were normally set up in the distance weren’t there.   
  
“Not today. I thought your last day of training should be special but I have something to give you first.” She bent down and popped the latches on an ornate box at her feet.   
  
“Diana, you didn’t have to get me a gift, you’ve already done more than enough for me.”   
  
“You can consider it a going-away present and an apology,” she said.   
  
Lena’s face fell. “I take it, I don’t pass.”   
  
Diana smiled. “No, Lena. You pass. To be honest, the mere fact that Bruce wanted you to train with me is proof enough that he believes you are capable enough.” She stood up and made a face. “You’ll never hear him admit that out loud though, so don’t hold your breath.” She laughed and held out her hand holding what looked like a silvery baton. “And in my eyes, you have everything it takes to be a hero.”   
  
Lena reached out a hand and took the baton from Diana, holding it up. It shone brightly in the morning sun and as it caught the light, she could make out an inscription along one side of it that ran along the entire length of the slender baton. 

Ένας ήρωας είναι κάποιος που έχει δώσει τη ζωή του σε κάτι μεγαλύτερο από τον εαυτό του

  
She recognized it as Greek but could do little to decipher it. She could almost hear her mother’s voice in her ear: _You always were so lax with your studies, Lena, and here is just another example of that…_   
  
“It’s beautiful,” Lena said. “But I can’t accept it, Diana. It’s too much.”   
  
“It was made for you, Lena. No one else. I would have gifted you a sword but I feel you have more potential with the baton. It can extend into a staff and is indestructible. Unless you happen to run into a God, of course.”   
  
“I can never tell when you’re joking, Diana.” Lena closed her hand tighter around the baton and brought it down in a tight arc, taking a practice swing at an imaginary attacker. “But why are you sorry?”   
  
Diana hooked her foot under the lip of her shield on the ground and kicked it up into the air, threading her arm through the straps in one fluid motion and pulled her sword from its sheath. “For one last sparring session.”   
  
“The baton seems kind of lacking now,” Lena snarked, readying herself as best she could. Their last sparring session had ended abruptly when Lena had fallen off the high beam the two were fighting on. The wind hadn’t been so much as knocked out of her as forced out in one thunderous stampede. Later, when Lena was in the bath, she thought that she had a little better grasp of the gulf in power between a human and an Amazon. Lena was less interested in bridging that gap than finding a way around it if one existed at all.   
  
She was so focused on waiting for Diana to give the signal to begin that she was almost caught off guard when Diana bent low and rushed forward. If she had used her full speed, Lena would have been run through before she even had a chance to blink. She had just enough time to shift her weight and sidestep Diana’s charge, immediately making distance. “I don’t think you need the element of surprise, Diana.”   
  
“No, but if you expect anyone to fight fair, human, meta, Amazon, or even Kryptonian, you will be waiting a very long time.” She advanced again, raising her shield out in front of her. “It’s something that Bruce knows maybe better than anyone.”   
  
“I’m not so much of an optimist as to believe that.” Lena tightened her grip on the baton and was amazed as it extended out into a staff. She held it out in front of her, waited for Diana’s shield to bump against it as she charged forward and immediately swung it in a tight arc that Diana batted away easily. She let the staff continue on its new path, swinging in a full arc that Diana raised her shield to block.   
  
“Good Lena!” Diana switched the grip on her sword to a reverse one. She made shallow swipes with her sword that instead of trying to parry, Lena disengaged, breaking off and making a beeline for where several bows were mounted on racks ready to be used. Collapsing the staff back into a baton she waited until she heard Diana gaining on her, throwing it behind her with all her might. She heard a metallic ringing noise and out of the corner of her eye, she watched it sailing end over end high into the air, knowing that Diana had deflected it.   
  
“Do not be so stubborn as to not know when to retreat.”   
  
“Speaking from experience?” Lena quickly nocked an arrow, taking a couple of steps back before drawing the bowstring taut. She fired off an arrow and was beginning to ready another when she watched Diana catch it instead of deflecting it with her shield. “Now you’re just showing off.” She had just enough time to draw the bow back when Diana brought her sword up.   
  
“Yes,” Diana said, lowering her sword and smiling. “My stubbornness got me banished from Themyscira for a time. But I was more speaking about Bruce. There are some lessons that even he refuses to learn, I only hope you don’t emulate him too much.”   
  
Lena lowered the bow before letting it go slack. “I’ll try my best not to.” She smirked. “You speak very fondly of him.”   
  
“We’ve worked together for a long time now. He’s one of my most trusted friends.”   
  
“You’re very lucky.”   
  
“Yes,” she admitted. “I am.” The smile faded from her face and she took a step back. “Go get your weapon. The lesson isn’t over yet.”   
  
“Of course I could never be that lucky.” Instead of dropping the bow, she readied another arrow, keeping it at her side as she jogged back to the place where her baton had fallen.   
  
“You’re learning,” Diana said. She gave her sword a small flourish and quickly began to close the distance between the two.   
  


* * *

  
  
Themyscira might have been the one place on Earth without any reception. Lena had been to some rather remote areas of the world and it always surprised her to see more often than not that she was able to get at least one bar. For the first time in her life, Lena had stowed her phone away in her bag and had forgotten about it until Diana and she was on their way back to Metropolis.   
  
She groped for her bag and fished it out. Even after only two months, it felt strange to hold it in her hand again. She had shut herself off from her old life so completely that it felt to her like coming up for air after a very long time underwater. Holding her thumb on the power button she was greeted with the flash of the screen coming to life. A few moments later a horde of missed calls, text messages and emails began to flood in. Nearly all of them seemed to be from Sam and while she didn’t have the patience to sift through all of them she noticed how quickly the messages shrunk in size when it became more and more apparent that Lena wasn’t picking up. She kept scrolling until she reached the beginning, trying in vain to load more messages that weren’t there. _She didn’t call you, why would she?_   
  
“You must have people who have missed you while you were gone,” Diana said, glancing over at Lena.   
  
“Not as many as you might think.” She held up her phone and shrugged. “Just one friend and a lot of angry board members.”   
  
Diana chuckled. “You and Bruce really do have a lot in common, don’t you?” She shook her head. “Don’t ever let me catch you being half as broody as he is. Saving the world is wonderful but you can’t forget to live in it either.”   
  
“I thought our training was over,” Lena reminded her.   
  
“It is,” Diana said. “This is just advice from a friend.” She caught her eye and smiled. “But anytime I’m in the city if you ever want a few pointers or coffee...”   
  
“It’ll be my treat,” Lena insisted. “Although you did throw a shield at my head a few hours ago.”   
  
“You dodged it,” Diana said, beginning to bring the private jet lower as they approached the runway.   
  
“Barely.” Lena smiled to herself. She quickly fired off a message to Sam promising to call her first thing in the morning. That day’s training had been especially taxing and she wasn’t in any state to hold even a semi-coherent conversation state, something that Diana picked up on almost at once.   
  
“When we land, you’re to go right back home.”   
  
“What about you?” Lena asked, stifling a yawn with the back of her hand.   
  
“To Gotham. Bruce will want every last detail of your training.”She stretched, tilting her neck from side to side to work out a kink. “At least Alfred makes excellent coffee. I’m sure he’ll be in touch soon too. If he goes radio silent just get in touch with me, I’ll twist his arm.”   
  
“Poor thing,” Lena joked, stifling a yawn of her own.   
  


* * *

  
  
Much like how it felt when she had laid eyes on her cell phone again. It felt just as strange to step foot back in her penthouse. It was almost eerily similar to her place in National City but it still felt like stepping foot in a stranger’s house. Setting her bag down by the door, she kicked off her shoes and thought vaguely of having a bath, already knowing that she would probably fall asleep before the tub even had time to fill.   
  
Instead, she shuffled to her couch still fully dressed, laying back and shoving a pillow under her head. She closed her eyes, ready to drift off when she suddenly reached for her phone that had already been returned to the usual pocket in her jeans. She dialed the number instinctively and pressed the call button before she was able to talk herself out of it. She listened to it ring, promising to admonish herself when she was more cognizant.   
  
“Hi,” Lena said once the call connected. “I’m back.”   
  
“You were gone a while,” Kara said. “I thought… Welcome back.”   
  
“I thought I should let you know that I was back,” Lena said as if she needed to justify her calling Kara. "Wouldn't want Sam on my back right after I get back. “It’s so late. I’m sorry. I didn't wake you, did I?"   
  
“It’s not that late and I'm patrolling right now. Crime doesn't sleep," she said, parroting back that very old, very worn-out saying.   
  
“It’s a little after three in the morning, I think to most everyone that’s late. I should probably let you get to work. Sorry again for calling so late.”   
  
“I’m happy you called,” Kara insisted. "I... I'm just glad you're back."  
  
“Still so chipper in the dead of night.” Lena smiled and rolled over onto her side. “I should let you go….” _Good advice,_ a voice reminded her. “Sooner you call it a night, sooner you can get some sleep."   
  
“That's what I should be saying to you," Kara said. "Sweet dreams, Lena."  
  
"Good night, Kara."  
  
She ended the call and made an audible groaning noise. "Idiot," Lena muttered, dropping her phone onto the floor next to the couch. Despite how tired she had been just moments ago, she lay awake a while longer, listening to the sounds of the city outside her window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N The inscription on Lena's weapon translates (very roughly) to: "A hero is someone who has given his life to something greater than himself" One of my favorite Joseph Campbell quotes. 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading! If you're bored come shout at me on Tumblr @inkedroplets


	5. I hate that I miss you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena and Bruce come to an agreement and Kara finds an unexpected offer dropped into her lap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "And it guts me like a knife  
> You're my destroyer  
> And I race to run and hide  
> Why?  
> Does it eat you up inside?  
> So goddamn lonely  
> It's never enough, never enough"
> 
> -Meg Myers 'Some People'

It had been both a testament to Lena’s trust in Sam and how seriously she had taken her training on Themyscira that she had not thought about L-Corp once during her time on the island. Coming back to it was not exactly like greeting an old friend after a long time away but a reminder of just how much had changed in such a short amount of time. She had left National City with what little she had been able to salvage from her old life there and try to build from there, but the pieces had not quite joined together. They were all fragments, broken pieces whose jagged edges didn’t want to fit together. It remained to be seen if she could somehow cobble them together into some semblance of a life. She wanted to but there were times when she couldn’t help but think it might be impossible when it felt like there was such an essential piece of her missing since moving to Metropolis. 

She stood in front of the building, letting people walk past her like water slipping past a well-worn river stone She was for once, just another face in the crowd. Whether that was because those rushing inside had more important things on their mind than the woman who had decided to plant herself in front of one of the busiest buildings in Metropolis or that the two months she had been gone had been enough to turn her into a non-entity.  _ If only,  _ she thought.    
  
When Lena knocked on the open door to Sam’s office, she didn’t even bother to look up right away from the contracts she was looking over with a fine-tooth comb.    
  
“I do like to greet the new employees, but I usually come to see them, not the other way around.” She capped her pen and looked up at Lena. “And you are?”   
  
“Haha. A two-month vacation is relatively short for a CEO, I’ll have you know.”   
  
“For the martini-swilling fifty-something with the bad hairpiece that only swings by to check that his steady supply of money continues to flow uninterrupted, yes. Lena Luthor, on the other hand? Who might actually live in her office if she could ensure that people did not stage some kind of intervention? Never.”    
  
Lena smirked. “Look who’s talking.”    
  
“Well, when the face of the company goes AWOL, I have little choice but to work even harder. Have to do something to keep the wolves at bay.” She stood up, walked to the other side of her desk, and spread her arms out for a hug.   
  
“Feel free to take a well-deserved vacation,” Lena said. She hesitated for a moment before nodding, giving Sam the go-ahead to pull her into a hug.    
  
Sam seemed to get a kick out of the mental hoops that Lena had to jump through before allowing herself to be hugged and pulled her into an embrace that she broke quicker than Lena had expected.   
  
“A bit too late to remain completely professional,” Lena said.    
  
“It’s not that.” Sam hesitated, opened her mouth and closed it again before pointing at Lena. “Your arms.”    
  
“I know, I know, I don’t give good hugs.” She rolled her eyes. “Considering who my family is-”   
  
“No, I didn’t mean it like that. I mean…” She pointed again. “You have biceps, now.”    
  
“Don’t make me go down to HR, Sam.”    
  
It was Sam’s turn to roll her eyes. “Don’t tell me you spent two months finding your bliss at a SoulCycle. No… You’re too tan for that.” She tilted her head and took a step back to better take her in. “Hawaii?”   
  
“Do you want to guess or do you want me to tell you?”   
  
“ _ Will  _ you tell me?”    
  
“Now that I know you’re curious? Not a chance.”   
  
“I’m not  _ that  _ curious. I’m less curious about where you’ve been and more curious about how you’re doing. No phone call, no email, no texts...”    
  
“No reception.”   
  
“Really?”    
  
Lena nodded. “As for how I’m doing?” She paused. Lying would have been easiest, how could it not be considering who she was related to but it seemed too disingenuous to Sam considering how hard she had been trying to keep Lena from slipping past between those icy walls that she had surrounded herself with for years. “A little better.”    
  
“A little is good… A lot would be even better.”    
  
“I’ll see what I can do.”   
  
“Would dinner with Ruby and me help at all? It’s been so long since you’ve seen Ruby, I think she’s starting to forget your face.”    
  
“I’ll send her a signed picture if you’d like.”   
  
“You can give it to her at dinner,” Sam countered, raising an eyebrow.   
  
“Soon,” Lena promised. “And I mean, soon, not I hope you forget about the appointment soon but soon. I really have been away too long. There’s a lot I need to catch up on.”    
  
“Fair enough.” Sam nodded as if she found the terms that Lena had laid out agreeable. “Maybe next week.”   
  
“Not maybe, I promise.”    
  
“Good. But speaking of catching up on work.” She pointed at her desk. “I should probably get back to it.”    
  
“Don’t let me keep you. I just came in to let you know I wasn’t dead.”    
  
“How sweet.” Sam slipped back behind her desk and into her seat. She looked up at Lena, uncapping her pen as she did. “Welcome back.”   
  
_ Now here’s the part where you say good to be back,  _ Lena thought but couldn’t quite form the words. “Vacation had to end sometime.”   
  
“I am glad you’re back, Lena.” Sam looked at her over her computer monitor.    
  
Lena paused in the doorway, nodded and flashed Sam what she hoped was a warm smile before shutting the door behind her.   


* * *

  
  
Being back in her office, things finally stopped feeling so much like she was in an incredibly convincing dream. It’s while she’s sorting through the absolutely monstrous number of unread emails that had accumulated in her absence when she finally felt like she was truly back.    
  
Lena supposed that there was still time for her to have a change of heart, make like Fred Astaire and Ginger Roberts and call the whole vigilante plan off. But then where would she be? Back to square one.  _ Square zero.  _ Square one would have meant that she had been able to at least begin the healing process when all that Lena had been able to do thus far had been to cope and she had done that rather poorly. Alcohol and late nights holed up in her office, broken up by infrequent bouts of sobbing, and then come morning she would wake up with a splitting headache and be mentally checked out for half the day with her mind stuck running in place over Kara’s betrayal. 

No. She wouldn’t allow herself to backslide that much. If not for her own sake than for the city. While she had wanted to put some distance between herself and the people she had thought had cared about her, she  _ had  _ come with the best of intentions. To help those in need, because after years of working with Supergirl… with Kara… It had become abundantly clear that even with a Kryptonian protecting the city, there was so much more that needed to be done, people that found themselves slipping between the cracks that needed help getting out.    
  
Before Lena could sink any deeper into her own thoughts, a knock at the door pulled her back out.   
  
“Come in.”   
  
“Miss Luthor…” Jess had poked her head in the door and stepped the rest of the way through when Lena made eye contact with her. “Sorry to interrupt you, but your eleven o’clock just arrived. I forgot to tell you about it this morning... I didn’t expect you back today and I didn’t even look at your schedule until now,” she said sheepishly.    
  
“It’s fine,” Lena said kindly. “I really should have called ahead. Who am I meeting with?”   
  
“Wayne Enterprises.”   
  
“Ah.”   
  
Jess looked surprised. “Should I show him in?”   
  
“Please do.”    
  
Jess excused herself and returned a moment later with Bruce Wayne in tow, looking ever-so-slightly starstruck, quickly excusing herself once she had shown him inside, shutting the door behind her.   
  
“I was expecting a phone call,” Lena said, standing up and offering him the seat across from her.    
  
“Diana thought it best that I see you in person and she was probably right.” He sat down and set the briefcase he had come in with down beside him on the floor.    
  
Seeing him in the daytime confirmed her suspicions about another way that Bruce Wayne hid in plain sight. The vain and bored playboy probably went a long way in throwing off any suspicion about his alter-ego but he had gone the extra mile in his choice of clothing. The navy blue suit he was wearing was tailored (obviously) but it was done in such a way that it was not immediately apparent just how well built he truly was.    
  
“She spoke very highly of you and your progress over the past two months. To be frank, I had hoped that after training with Diana that you might give up on the idea of working outside the law.”   
  
“I figured as much,” Lena said coolly.    
  
“I still don’t agree with it.” Bruce spread his hands out with his palms facing up. “But if you’re determined to continue on ahead, I will train you. No crash course and no shortcuts, though. Non-negotiable.”    
  
“I didn’t come to you looking for a shortcut. I’ve never been afraid of hard work, Mr. Wayne. When do we start?”    
  
Bruce was silent for a time before he bent down to retrieve his briefcase. He placed it gingerly on the desk and snapped open the locks, opening it and pulling from it a number of manilla envelopes.   
  
“I’ll come to Metropolis when I can but training you in Gotham will need to be the norm.”   
  
“That’s fair,” she answered quickly. She believed that they were well past the point where Bruce still hoped that Lena would suddenly decide to pack it in but on the off chance that he wasn’t, she wanted to rid him of that notion as quickly as she could.   
  
“Sooner or later, people will notice you making frequent trips to Gotham,” he said and slid the envelopes across the desk towards her like he was dealing her a poker hand. “Which is why giving you a legitimate reason for you being there will be best for both our sakes.”   
  
“Contracts?” Lena asked. She had opened one of the envelopes and quickly scanned the first page. “I don’t know how I feel about signing a contract to merely cover my tracks, Mr. Wayne.” It wasn’t just Lena’s pride in having cleaned house when she had turned Luthor-Corp into L-Corp and built it back from the ground up with a focus on turning it into a force for good, but how slippery of a slope it felt to be traversing to use L-Corp to mask her own selfish goals. It reminded her far too much of how Lex operated.    
  
“I understand your reluctance,” Bruce said, looking equal parts impressed and exasperated at Lena’s stubbornness. “If all I wanted was a smokescreen or a distraction, I wouldn’t ever suggest it. It’s no secret that WayneTech and Luthor Corp have butted heads in the past when interests overlapped which has soured some board members on pursuing a partnership even after Lex’s departure. But after laying out just how beneficial a partnership could be in certain ventures, they’ve had a change of heart.”    
  
“And who lobbied for that I wonder?”   
  
“Lucius did. With my backing, of course.” He gestured to the contract still in her hands. “I believe that contract is for a joint venture with Wayne Biotech to find a cure for cancer. I believe you’ve done a substantial amount of your own research on the subject.”   
  
“Yes…” She flipped through the contract, actually reading it this time. “It was a pet project of mine. I’m starting to think that the research I did on you was quite shallow. How much do you know about me?”   
  
“Do you really want me to answer that?”   
  
“No,” she said after having a moment to think it over.   
  
“There is another contract with Wayne Chemicals researching alternative fuel sources and another for furthering research into mechanical fission and green energy. All areas where L-Corp has already expanded into and shown great promise. Even if you had decided to give up on your plan to work outside the law, I still planned on offering L-Corp these contracts. Your company has done and continues to do important work.”   
  
“I’ll run these by our CEO,” Lena said, her face inscrutable as she gathered up the envelopes and arranged them together neatly. “With my recommendation that we pursue a working relationship with Wayne Enterprises.”   
  
Shrewd.” Bruce nodded to himself and checked his watch. “We’ll begin tomorrow then. Diana thought you might need another few days to heal.”   
  
“So you’re giving me one?” Lena asked, sounding amused.    
  
“I’m a much stricter taskmaster than Diana is.” He checked his watch again and stood up suddenly. “Unfortunately, I have to call our meeting short. I’ll see you at Wayne Enterprises tomorrow at seven.”    
  
“Another emergency?” Lena asked, unable to stop herself from prying just a little.   
  
“Lunch date.”   
  
“You just flew into Metropolis and already have a lunch date. That’s impressive even by your standards. Unless....”   
  
“See you tomorrow, Miss Luthor.”   
  
“Tomorrow. Say hello to Diana for me,” she said, smirking slightly.    
  
Bruce looked up, caught her eye, and nodded. “Get your rest. You’ll need it.”    
  
Lena stood up and walked him to the door, escorting him to the elevator. “Enjoy your lunch, Mr. Wayne.”    
  
“No lunch plans?” he asked as he stepped onto the elevator.   
  
She very nearly answered yes, that she did have plans for lunch before remembering that she wasn’t in National City any longer and that Kara and she were no longer friends… Not that they had ever been friends in the first place. That sent a shard of ice deep into her heart. She felt it lodge itself there and continue to sting.    
  
“I have to look over your contracts. Make sure that L-Corp is getting a fair deal,” she said and pointed back towards her office.    
  
Bruce nodded. “Have a good day, Miss Luthor.”   
  
“Have a good date.” She smiled, looking somewhat wistfully as the doors closed. She stood there a while longer, not thinking of anything in particular before she returned to her office, not feeling the least bit hungry. 

* * *

  
Some mornings, Kara still caught herself slipping back into her usual morning routine, showering quickly before zipping out the door in time to grab a coffee and a muffin before work. Today she had gotten as far as halfway out the door, her hair still a mess and still doing up the last button on her blouse when she remembered that she didn’t have a job anymore. She hadn’t for nearly two months now. She had lost her zest for writing. But after two months of no paycheck, she had begun to eat through her savings faster than she would have expected and knew that the world would not wait for her to heal, especially when Kara had begun to doubt if that was even possible.    
  
Going back to CatCo was an option although not one she wanted to pursue. She knew that she could write again but she had no desire to return to CatCo. For the same reason that she had avoided Big Belly Burger, Noonan’s, and the cafe across the street from where L-Corp used to call home. They all reminded her too much of Lena.    
  
CatCo had been the first place she felt she could make a difference as Kara Danvers and not as Supergirl. It had helped bridge the gap between the two distinct parts of her life and made her feel more whole. It was Lena that had planted the seed in her head and it was Lena that had swooped in at the eleventh hour and bought the company to save it just because it had meant so much to Kara…   
  
Flying past the massive building that used to be L-Corp, the memory comes flooding back. How casually Lena admitted to buying CatCo for Kara’s sake… As if it were the most obvious thing in the world.  _ Maybe it was,  _ a small voice in the back of her mind said.    
  
She gave her head a tiny shake, knocking loose the scrabbling fingers of memory and flew higher over the city, forcing it from her head, knowing that it wouldn’t stay away for long. It always came back, like some horror movie icon that refused to stay dead, the thoughts and memories that she tried to force away always came back to her, and deep down she knew why. She  _ wanted  _ them to. She didn’t want to forget, not when her memories were now all that she had left to remember Lena by.    
  
Flying higher so that the city shrunk beneath her, she took a deep breath, scanning for any sign of trouble, any hint that she might be needed somewhere.    
  
“Kara…”    
  
More than a little surprised to hear someone call her name, but recognizing the voice, she turned around to see Clark floating level with her. “What are you doing here? Is something wrong? Is it-”   
  
“Nothing’s wrong,” he said, stretching a hand out to placate her.   
  
“Then what are you doing here?”    
  
“Alex called—”   
  
_ Of course, she did.  _   
  
“—and she’s worried about you.”   
  
“I know she’s worried,” Kara said, hoping that she didn’t sound as petulant as she did in her head. She glanced down at the city, wishing that there was a kitten down below that needed rescuing from a tree. “I’m doing my best, Kal.”    
  
“I’m sure you are. And that’s what I told Lois, last month, but Alex is still worried and still calling. Daily,” he added.    
  
“I’m sorry... She doesn’t need to-”   
  
“She’s worried about you and Lois and I don’t call nearly enough anyway,” he said, waving away the idea that her calling had in any way been an inconvenience “So I thought I would stop by to see you.”   
  
“Oh.”   
  
“I stopped by CatCo to see if you wanted to get lunch and-”   
  
“I quit,” Kara said. “Two months ago, actually.”   
  
“Yeah, Andrea told me as much when I came looking for you. I’m guessing you didn’t tell Alex yet?”   
  
“No,” Kara said, shame creeping into her voice. “I haven’t. I don’t need her worrying anymore about me than she already is and she barely thinks I’m holding things together, if she knows I quit my job she’ll probably try and stage an intervention.”    
  
Kara, when Lex-”   
  
“Don’t,” Kara said, her voice turning icy. “Don’t try and compare the two. They’re not the same, Kal.” She shook her head. “Lena is not Lex. She’s a good person.”   
  
“She used kryptonite on you, Kara…”   
  
“I hurt her, Kal.” She gestured down towards the now empty L-Corp building, to the gaping wound Lena’s departure had left on the city. “We all did. And at first, I thought I could find a way to fix things, because I always find a way to fix things and then Lena left for Metropolis and like an idiot, I manufactured a reason for me to see her again and she looked at me like I was a complete stranger.” Her eyes shone with tears and she covered her eyes with her hand instead of wiping them away.    
  
“I’ve been trying to let go and move on as Lena has... “  _ Had?  _ “But I need more time before I can be me again. And I know that Alex means well but she has been trying to pretend that everything can just go back to how it was before and it can’t. I don’t want it to,” she admitted. “And I’m falling behind on my rent and I haven’t seen my friends in weeks and right now this is the only thing that makes any sense to me,” she said and pointed to herself. Kara Danvers was spiraling but Supergirl didn’t have the luxury to do so when the city still needed her.   
  
“Supergirl also needs to pay rent,” Clark reminded her.   
  
That coaxed a very small chuckle out of Kara. “I can always just move into the Fortress.”   
  
“I take it that you don’t want to return to CatCo then?”   
  
“No,” Kara said flatly, not wanting to elaborate on her reasons why. Not that it would be all that hard for Clark to reason out why.    
  
“The Daily Planet has been looking for a freelancer,” he said, suddenly looking more pensive. “It wouldn’t be a desk job and with the way that Perry has talked about it, it wouldn’t likely lead to one either. It would mostly be remote work but Perry might want you to do a feature here and there and the work would be fairly steady. it should pay enough to cover the rent, at least. Not in Metropolis but a quaint apartment in National City....”   
  
“You getting me the job would reek of Nepotism, Kal.”   
  
“Are you kidding? You have a Pulitzer. Perry will think he’s won the lotto when he sees your resume slide across his desk for the freelancer position.”   
  
That coaxed another small smile out of Kara. “He might want to temper his expectations a little, my most recent work hasn’t exactly been stellar.”   
  
“Then you’ll definitely hear about it from him.” He offered Kara a tentative smile. “Alex might not appreciate me helping you out like this but if you need time, you need time, and baby steps are better than nothing at all.”   
  
“Thank you, Kal…”   
  
“If you have the time to swing by The Planet, I’m sure that Perry would give you an interview, probably give you the job on the spot.”   
  
“It’s been surprisingly peaceful in the city. I can spare an hour or so.”    
  
“ _ After  _ we eat. I’ll buy. You look-”   
  
“I know,” she said quietly. “After we eat, then.” Even without examining herself closely in the mirror, Kara had noticed about a week ago that she had  _ somehow _ lost weight. Her cheekbones seemed a bit more prominent and her clothes hung ever so slightly looser than they had before. It shouldn’t have surprised her. She always had an appetite that fell just short of voracious but she had been skipping meals for a while now and when she did eat it was always something bolted down quickly instead of enjoyed.    
  
Clark it seemed had been preparing for a more protracted battle and a look of relief crossed his face. “What are you in the mood for? Metropolis has a Big Belly Burger that’s really generous with their fries.”    
  


* * *

  
  
The burger was good but the interview with Perry White was even better. He had offered her the job on the spot and she had been more than happy to accept. The one and only hiccup had been her address. When he had realized that Kara had no intention of moving, he had to inform her that they simply couldn’t pay for travel expenses to cover a story in Metropolis. Only after assuring him several times over that she would be more than happy to cover those costs had he offered her a handshake before rushing around to get her a contract she could sign before she went home.    
  
To Kara, it felt like a bit more than a baby step but after weeks of spinning her wheels, she thought that a small push was something that she had desperately needed. With as many feature reporters as The Daily Planet had, Kara didn’t think she would ever be given a really meaty assignment but it would be a good chance to get her sea legs.    
  
On her way out, she waved to Kal who was bent over his computer and waved him off when it looked like he was about to get up to say goodbye. She would have more than enough time to talk to him later and she knew just how hard it could be to stick to a deadline when you moonlighted as a superhero. On the ride down in the elevator, she realized that she was smiling. Weak and unsure but a smile all the same. 

  
Ducking into an alley, Kara took a moment to look around before taking off into the sky, just fast enough to create a sonic boom in her wake. She tried to tell herself before her feet had even left the ground that flying by L-Corp would be the opposite of giving her space but it just so happened that L-Corp was something she was bound to pass by. She doesn’t actually stop, if only because she knew that if she did, the urge to touch down on the balcony outside of Lena’s window would be hard to resist. Instead, she merely slowed down enough to catch a glimpse of Lena’s office as she flew past. She wasn’t shocked in the slightest to see her working.  _ No rest for the world-saving genius…  _   
  


* * *

  
  
Bruce hadn’t been lying when he had said that the contracts he had offered L-Corp to be a good match for both their companies. Even if her vigilante career fizzled (which was a worry that usually made a regular appearance in her parade of worries) she could still do a world of good by investing in and devoting the proper manpower to the research involved.    
  
There was no couch in her office any longer. She had intentionally left that space of it blank but she still found herself glancing up at it from time to time. Once or twice while she had been going over some particularly dense paperwork, she had nearly sat down on the floor where the couch had been in her office back in National City. Old habits it seemed truly did die hard.    
  
Looking up from her work, her gaze flitted from the empty space in her office to the balcony and then back down to her work.  _ I hate that I miss you,  _ she thought, forcing herself to dive back into the paperwork on her desk. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading. Hope everyone is staying safe and healthy!


	6. Ships in the night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena's training continues and Kara is given an unlikely job that brings her back into Lena's orbit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I don't need the world to see  
> That I've been the best I can be, but  
> I don't think I could stand to be  
> Where you don't see me"
> 
> \- 'Francis Forever' Mitski

After disappearing off the face of the Earth for two months, Lena thought that a trip to Gotham would barely register on Sam’s concern meter. She had been wrong.  
  
“You do know to call Metropolis home you do actually need to _stay_ in Metropolis from time to time, right?” Sam looked at her over her cup of coffee and sighed. “The contracts are all solid. For once the board members aren’t going to throw a fit. I don’t see why you even need to go to Gotham.” 

“As you said, it’s already a done deal but it’s never too soon to start hashing out details. And it’s better to hit the ground running. You know I’m never happy to just let things happen around me.”   
  
Sam shrugged in a defeated kind of way as if to say, I understand but I don’t have to like it. “I know you like to burn the candle at both ends,” she raised her right hand as if to take an oath and grimaced. “I am too, no getting around it, but you _just_ got back home.”   
  
“From vacation,” Lena reminded her.   
  
Sam rolled her eyes. “I don’t know where you went on vacation, Lena, and I’m not asking, but only you could come back looking more tired than when you left.”   
  
_An Amazon Princess spent several afternoons shooting arrows at me._ _  
_ _  
_ “I always like to defy expectations.” She smiled and hated that she had to fight the sudden urge to yawn. “I think I can handle a few hours of shop talk, Sam.” _Not so sure how well I’ll do training with Batman but we’ll see._   
  
“And,” Sam said, giving her coffee an unnecessary stir with her spoon, intentionally clinking her spoon against the sides. “It’s Gotham. How could I not worry?”   
  
“People tried to kill me all the time in National City,” Lena said dismissively.   
  
“And that was awful, but National City had Supergirl.”   
  
“Why do you think I came here?” Lena muttered.   
  
“Hmm?”   
  
“Nothing. It’s only dinner, Sam. And barely even that.”   
  
“I hope he knows that. You know his reputation.” She rolled her eyes. “Playboy billionaire,” she scoffed. “If he tries hitting on you, fuck the contracts. Do you still stash a baton in your heels?”   
  
“I do,” Lena said, amused. “I really don’t think you need to worry though.” She was the furthest thing from an expert when it came to relationships of any kind but it was plain to see that there was _something_ more between Diana and Bruce than what either of them had admitted so far.   
  
“I’m still not convinced this isn’t some elaborate plot to get out of having dinner with me.”   
  
“It’s not but even if I was, I wouldn’t be so naive as to think you would ever let me off the hook. With you as CEO, I need to find more creative ways of making myself useful."   
  
“Long as we’re on the same page.” Sam grinned and yawned, glancing at the clock on the wall out of the corner of her eye. "I’m going to call it a night, I hope you’re going to do the same.”   
  
“In a bit,” Lena said. “Once I get everything squared away.”   
  
“You’re going to sleep here, aren’t you?” She sighed but seemed to know a losing battle when she saw one and didn’t try to pull Lena out the door with her. “Good night, Lena.”   
  
“Good night, Sam. I’ll text you after the meeting.”   
  
“How generous of you,” Sam said, “letting the CEO know how your business meeting went.” She stepped out of the office, shutting the door behind her, and waved through the window at Lena before she turned to leave. 

* * *

  
  
After working at CatCo for so long, Kara never could have guessed that she would find herself starting again at the bottom of the proverbial totem pole in her journalism career. She had worked hard to get where she was and there were times she understood just how crazy it was to give all of that up, to simply walk away from the table after finally getting a seat. But what choice did she have when there were days that she could hardly drag herself out of bed much less chase down leads for a story she was working on.   
  


Alex would more than likely be livid when Kara finally broke the news to her that she hadn’t just quit her job at CatCo but taken a freelance position in Metropolis but Kara was certain that she would come around. Clark was right. Baby steps were better than nothing at all and for the past two months, Kara had done nothing but spin her wheels and dwell on the past. Making sure she wasn’t evicted seemed as good a step as any to focus on for now.   
  
The work was simplistic and if Kara had been in better spirits would have likely classified it as dull but for now, it suited her just fine. She was often nothing more than an extra pair of eyes to look over an article before getting final approval and that was work she could (and often did) do in bed. But every so often she would be called into Metropolis to help assist a desk reporter with an article. It let her dip her toes back in the pool so to speak and there were days that she felt the urge to sit down at her computer to write again. It was always a fleeting feeling that wouldn’t have lasted the distance it took her from her bed to her small desk, but it was the first hint that there was _something_ beyond the fog she found herself completely mired in. 

When she turned on her laptop to see what (if any) work she had for the day, she was surprised and a little worried to see a two-word email waiting for her from Perry White.  
  
 _CALL ME!_   
  
_Resign from one job and get fired from your next one,_ Kara thought glumly, groping around for her phone not wanting to delay the inevitable already rehearsing what to say. _Thank you for the opportunity, please don’t let my poor performance reflect poorly on Clark…_   
  
She dialed the number and didn’t even hear it ring once before she heard Perry’s all too loud voice blaring in her ear. “Hello? Kara?”   
  
“It’s me, Mr. White. I got your email, I want to thank you-”   
  
“Thank me? Wait until I ask you for the favor first before you thank me.”   
  
“Favor?”   
  
“I suppose you could say that it technically falls under your duties as a freelancer but there’s no chance in hell I’d ever throw something this important in their lap under normal circumstances.”   
  
“I thought you were going to fire me,” Kara admitted, breathing a small sigh of relief.”   
  
“Fire you?”   
  


Kara could almost hear Perry roll his eyes over the phone. “My work-”  
  
“Is good,” Perry interrupted. “More than good. I’d give my left arm for a reporter with the senses that you have. If I thought you’d accept a full-time position here, I’d offer it to you in a heartbeat.”   
  
“Thank you, Perry…”   
  
He made a grunting noise that Kara took to mean you're welcome. “Now that I’ve paid you such a heartwarming compliment, I hope you remember that when I ask you to fly out to Gotham.”   
  
“Gotham?” Kara blinked. “What do you want me to do there?”   
  
Perry groaned on the other end, mumbling darkly under his breath before answering. “One of our veteran reporters got a little sloppy and forgot to get Bruce Wayne’s John Hancock before interviewing him last month. We can’t run the piece without getting his permission to publish it. The Planet would pay your travel costs, of course. Not first-class obviously.”   
  
“All you need is a signature?”   
  
“Well…” Perry said, sounding a _teensy_ bit guilty. “I’m sure you know how hard it is to get Bruce Wayne to agree to anything or even get him in the same room as him without jumping through a dozen hoops. But to be honest, your name has a lot more clout, and if you do… When you do,” he amended, “run into any roadblocks, Mr. Wayne might be more willing to talk to you. _And,_ if you take the opportunity to get in any follow-up questions, I certainly wouldn’t complain. Is that something you’d be up for?”   
  
“Am I fired if I can’t get his signature?” Kara asked, only half-joking.   
  
“Somebody might be, but most definitely not you,” Perry assured her.   
  
“If you promise not to fire anyone, I’ll go.” She might not have been in the right headspace to write an article again but she could certainly get a signature and it would give her an excuse to postpone her dinner with Alex. She had been planning on telling her the truth about her change in employment and predictably found herself getting cold feet. It most certainly wasn’t her bravest moment but if given the chance to delay the inevitable a bit longer she would gladly take it.   
  
“Your terms are acceptable,” Perry grumbled in such a way that it was impossible to tell if he really was just that grumpy or it was his attempt at humor. “How fast can you get to the airport?”   
  
“Pretty fast,” Kara said.   
  
“A reporter after my own heart. You don’t mind returning to Metropolis on your way back, do you? You can fax the contract over once it’s signed but I’d like the hard copy on file on the off chance that Mr. Wayne ever wants to get litigious and I’m sure we can find you something else for you to do while you’re in the city.”   
  
“No… I don't mind at all.”   
  
“See you soon then, Miss Danvers. Have a safe flight.” He hung up quickly enough, likely to either go put out another fire or perhaps to light a fire under someone else.   
  
Kara lay in bed a bit longer, going over a quick mental checklist of what she would need to pack before finally slinging her legs over the side of the bed and starting to get ready. She supposed that Perry was right, she too had heard some horror stories (most likely they were all embellished in their way) about how difficult _getting_ an interview with Bruce Wayne, tracking him down to sign a glorified release form might not be any easier. But it was her return trip to Metropolis that she found herself dwelling on. It would put her however incidentally back into Lena’s orbit. She hadn’t tried reaching out again, partly due to Sam’s advice to give Lena her space and partly because she couldn’t bear the thought of Lena looking at her as if she were a stranger again, seeing that polite, all business smile on her face instead of the warm one she was so used to. But she had found herself taking an awful lot of walks whenever she was in Metropolis, both wanting to get to know the city better and _hoping_ to run into Lena. The chances of that happening were infinitesimal taking into account the size of Metropolis but stranger things had happened. And regardless of how bleak things seemed to get, Kara could never seem to stop herself from hoping... 

* * *

  
  
One would have thought that after training on an island of Amazons that training with Bruce would be a bit easier. Lena had been _very_ wrong to make such an assumption. The word sadist kept floating to the forefront of her mind during her training sessions and the days after when her body felt so sore that getting out of bed became a trial in and of itself.   
  
If Diana hadn’t warned her ahead of time about how harsh the training would be, Lena might have thought that Bruce was still trying to get her to throw in the towel. Not that it would have done much good. The die had most definitely already been cast and now it was just a matter of time until she felt ready to take her first step, or until Bruce thought that she was ready, which was the very question that had been on her mind during that evening’s training.   
  
“You’re not focused.” The two escrima sticks struck against Lena’s staff before one of them swung in a low arc and caught her in the side with a blow that was strong enough to knock the wind from her. She recovered quickly enough to jerk her head back and out of Bruce’s striking distance, just _barely_ keeping her footing on the balance beam that the two of them were sparring on.   
  
“I’m sorry.”   
  
“Be better,” Bruce said sternly. “You won’t have the benefit of losing focus when you’re out in the field.”   
  
“And when will that be?” She began to close the distance between the two of them, collapsing the staff back into a baton and held it close to her.   
  
“You’re impatient.”   
  
“Which is why I’m asking for your opinion and not my own.” She smirked and was more than a little proud to see the corners of Bruce’s mouth give the slightest of twitches.   
  
“I trained for ten years all over the globe before I put on the cowl and I’ve never stopped.”   
  
Any of the glimpses into Bruce’s life beyond his involvement with WayneTech that he offered Lena were always brief and hinted at a much more interesting story just bubbling under the surface but so far he had not elaborated beyond that.   
  
“Six months.” He dropped both of his escrima sticks, catching one with his foot and kicking it at Lena end over end. Instead of deflecting it with her baton, she intentionally allowed it to strike her hard in the forearm. The strength of the blow was enough to send a numbing shot through it but she was ready for his leg sweep, leaping over his leg and extending her baton out again so that it was trained on his throat.   
  
“Care to rethink that?” Lena teased.   
  
Bruce looked up at her, caught her eye, and rolled over off of the beam, catching himself so that he was hanging upside down and pulling on one of Lena’s ankles unbalancing her enough to send her falling hard to the mat, knocking the wind out of her.   
“Maybe make it seven,” Bruce said, dropping to the floor and standing up offering her a hand up.   
  
Lena stared at him for a moment before taking his hand and rising to her feet. Fighting the urge to rest her hand on her aching ribs, she went to clamber back up onto the balance beam when Bruce held out his hand.   
  
“Calling it a night already?” Lena instinctively glanced around for a clock, forgetting that there wasn’t one down below Bruce’s manor. Just how he had constructed something so vast that Lena herself hadn’t yet seen all it had to offer and to do so in secret was a question she was saving for a day when she felt that he was in a more talkative mood if that was at all possible.   
  
“There’s a prison transfer coming into Arkham. The handoff should go smoothly enough but on the off chance it doesn’t-”   
  
“Batman needs to be there to stop it.”   
  
“Something like that.”   
  
Lena could already see that the hyper-vigilant teacher that had been training her for the past three hours had done a disappearing act that would make Houdini envious. It _looked_ like he was still paying attention but Lena knew that his mind was already ensconced securely beneath the mask he wore as Batman.   
  
“I can see myself out,” she offered. “I’ve already stolen a good portion of your evening from you and Gotham.”   
  
Bruce looked as if he very much wanted to agree but gave a small shake of his head. “I’ll walk you out. If I don’t, Alfred will never let me hear the end of it.” Coming out of anyone’s mouth but Bruce’s it could have only come out sounding like a joke but with him, it was always impossible to tell.   
  
“You talk as if you’re speaking from experience,” Lena said   
  
“He is,” Alfred said, the sound of his approaching footsteps echoing off the cave walls. “You have a visitor, Master Bruce.”   
  
“Tell them I’m busy and to call me tomorrow to make an appointment.”   
  
“When are you not?” His eyes passed over Lena briefly. “It’s a Miss Danvers,” he said, sparing a very quick glance at Lena. “It’s about an interview you gave to The Daily Planet. Something about a missing signature.”   
  
_Kara?_ Lena couldn’t imagine why she of all people were doing errands for The Daily Planet but there was little doubt in her mind that it was her.   
  
“Perhaps while Master Bruce attends to his guest, Miss Luthor, I could get you some ice for your eye?”   
  
“My eye?” She reached up and recoiled slightly at the insistent stab of pain when her fingers brushed against the lid of her left eye. It felt slightly puffy and without a mirror, it would be impossible to tell if it would bruise but if she were a betting woman she thought it would. If she had sustained the injury while sparring on the balance beam she would have worn it a bit more proudly. She had gotten it earlier in the evening when Bruce had turned off all the lights in the cave and thrust the both of them into complete darkness and had her track him by sound alone. She thought she had been doing well, keeping her own footfalls nearly silent—although not nearly as silent as Bruce—when she lost her bearings and walked face-first into the cave wall.   
  
“If it’s not too much trouble,” Lena said, less concerned with her eye and more focused on avoiding Kara without making it too obvious. She bent low to pick up her baton and felt her eye throb painfully along with her ribs. “How much ice do you have in your freezer?” she snarked.   
  
“Oh, plenty,” Alfred said, staring at Bruce. “You’d be surprised how fast we run out."  
  
“Maybe not so surprised,” Lena said. None of the blows that Lena had landed on Bruce during their training had been enough to cause any real damage but his body certainly bore signs of injuries he sustained protecting Gotham. Climbing the stairs with Alfred she felt the familiar ache in her muscles just beginning to settle all over her body. It had become an affirmation of sorts and was the thing she tried to focus on rather than on the fact that Kara was right now standing outside the manor’s front door.   
  
_If you knew what I was doing, what I was planning… What would you think?_ she wondered. A voice answered almost at once in the exasperated tone of a teacher pushed well past their limits of patience. _You already know that she’ll think the worst of you. She'll think that you're up to no good. She’ll worry._ _  
_ _  
_ _Worry..._

“Take the next couple nights off,” Bruce said, slipping past both Alfred and Lena on the stairs, taking them two at a time and pulling Lena out of her daydream.  
  
“You didn’t hit me that hard. I can train tomorrow."   
  
Bruce slowed his ascent slightly and shook his head. “If you’re going to accompany me into the field you’ll need a suit. The prototypes you showed me last month… They were rough around the edges but a work-in-progress will do for now.”   
  
“For the ride-along?” She really couldn’t help herself sometimes not that it seemed to bother Bruce all that much. “Those prototypes are a bit out of date,” Lena said, a ghost of a smile pulling at the corners of her mouth. She had slowly whittled down the number of prototypes to one and she had been tinkering with the design for the past several weeks. While not anywhere nearing completion, it was coming along nicely enough. “I can get something fabricated by then.”   
  
“Focus on that and only that,” Bruce said and disappeared upstairs without so much as a goodbye.”   
  
“That is Master Bruce’s way of telling you to rest,” Alfred said. He sighed, giving his head the smallest of shakes.   
  
“Thank you for the translation, Alfred.” As they neared the top of the stairs Lena looked back, always amazed at just how large the cave really was and how many stairs it took to reach it. “I hope you don’t make a habit of visiting Bruce while he’s working,” she said, the meaning quite obvious without her having to elaborate.   
  
“If I didn’t come down here, I’m afraid that he may never come out.”   
  


* * *

  
  
Lena _did_ in fact have a black eye. A quick glance at her reflection in a toaster confirmed it. The small tutting noise that Alfred made when handing her an ice pack made Lena smile. “Is that your way of telling me to be careful, Alfred?”   
  
“Yes,” he said bluntly. “Not that I expect you to do so if you plan on following in Master Bruce’s footsteps.”   
  
“Well, I got this walking into the cave wall. It would sound a lot more impressive if I were able to say that I got it fighting Batman.”   
  
“Don’t be so sure, lots of people in Gotham are able to say that.”   
  
“The Miss Danvers that came to see Bruce… It wouldn’t happen to be Kara Danvers, would it?”   
  
“It would.”   
  
“Oh.” She nodded and clamped the ice pack more snugly over her eye. That confusing mixture of anger and longing rose up in her again the way it always did when she thought about Kara. “That isn’t why you offered to get me ice, is it?”   
  
“Yes, as a matter of fact, it is. I thought you might like a reason to delay your departure for a bit longer, and,” he said, busying himself with pouring a cup of tea that he set down in front of Lena, “ ice will help with the swelling.”   
  
“Thank you,” Lena said softly. “For the tea…” She brought the cup to her lips and took a small sip.   
  
“You’re very welcome, Miss Luthor.”   
  
“You don’t need to call me Miss Luthor, Alfred. Lena is just fine.”   
  
“I really must insist…”   
  
“As do I,” Lena said.   
  
“Yes, I can see why Master Bruce has taken a shine to you. Both of you are supremely stubborn.”   
  
“Only when I need to be,’ she teased, taking another sip of tea. 

* * *

  
  
Upon landing in Gotham, Kara tried going through the proper channels to get in touch with Bruce Wayne but hadn’t put much faith in it. If Perry had been able to get a hold of him, he could have sent anyone to get a signature. Since quitting CatCo she certainly hadn’t missed the runaround that you sometimes got chasing down a lead or trying to hammer out a good time for an interview only to have them cancel at the last minute. That was the bitter part of the job that normally came hand in hand with the sweet except this time around there was no sweet. This was a minuscule legal matter for Kara to tend to albeit an important one.   
  
Refusing to call it quits so easily and deciding to stop beating around the bush and cut out the middleman entirely, Kara didn’t see the harm in visiting him at home. He likely wouldn’t have made time for her if she came pounding on his door for an interview but if she emphasized that it was a legal matter that needed tending to? She thought that chances were quite high that he would at least spare enough time for his signature although he might be sure to leave himself plenty of time to mutter darkly under his breath. 

  
Not quite sure if Perry would want to cover her cab fare if she handed in the fare receipt tacked on with her expense request she decided to fly to Wayne Manor after ducking down an alley of which Gotham seemed to have an abundance of. She had recalled seeing a picture once or twice of the sprawling estate in maybe a magazine or another article about one of the many charities that was bankrolled by Bruce Wayne but it looked large even flying above it which was saying something.   
  
She landed far enough away that she still had quite a walk to get to the gate, already going over in her head just what she was going to say. To her, it felt a lot like an aging musician coming back on tour after a long time away. Had her senses merely dulled or had they left her entirely? She couldn’t be completely sure either way although she supposed she could use her success or failure as a kind of litmus test.   
  
When she pressed the intercom button on the gate outside the manor she expected the voice on the other end to be gruff, maybe a degree or two over into grumpy. Surely the place had at the very least a security guard if not an entire staff. Which made her all the more surprised when she heard the prim slightly weary voice of an older gentleman on the other end.   
  
Whoever Kara was speaking to had remained cagey about whether or not Bruce Wayne was available. But it seemed that Perry was right that her name held some sway because the man on the other end of the phone ha had excused himself to presumably go see if Bruce Wayne was taking visitors only after she had given him her name. The very fact that he hadn’t hung up on her had been good enough for Kara. With how much she had lost as of late, it made her victories (even the small ones) all the more important.   
  
He was gone so long that Kara very nearly used her X-Ray vision to peek inside to see if he had perhaps forgotten about her or even worse intentionally left her out to dry but the gate had opened noisily, slowly trundling along its track before she had been able to think it over at all.   
  
As she walked up to the house she hastily took a copy of the release form that she had printed out before flying to Gotham, smoothing it needlessly and searching her pockets for a pen, panicking when she couldn’t find it before remembering that she had tucked it behind her ear for safekeeping.   
  
When the door opened she expected to see the man she had spoken to over the intercom, already forming a mental image of a proper English butler that coincidentally did have a passing resemblance to Alfred Pennyworth. Instead, she was greeted by Bruce Wayne himself.   
  
“Mr. Wayne.” She stretched out her hand to shake and then drew it back quickly thinking better of it. _Signature first. Save the pleasantries for the goodbye,_ she told herself. “I’m really sorry to bother you at home.”   
  
“It’s no trouble but I am in a bit of a hurry…”   
  
“Of course.” She handed him the form and was amazed at how his eyes immediately began to scan over it instead of just signing it as she had seen so many other people do in the past. “It’s for the article you did with The Daily Planet last week.”   
  
“I remember,” he said, the vague smile on his face making it clear that he didn’t. “I’ve done several interviews with The Planet. They’ve been more than fair and never pull punches.” He plucked the pen from her hand and scanned it once more before dating, initialing and signing on the dotted line without any prompting from Kara. “Forgive me if I’m prying but I thought that you worked at CatCo, Miss Danvers.”   
  
The words ‘I do’ almost sprang to her lips, the job there so ingrained into her that the statement wouldn’t have so much as budged the needle on a lie-detector. “I _did._ I’m working at The Planet, right now.” Interning would have been closer to what she was doing but she didn’t think that he needed or wanted to hear the distinction.   
  
“Well,” he said, and handed the release form back to her, “maybe we can schedule an interview if the opportunity presents itself, I’ve read your work, it’s very impressive, but when I have more time…”   
  
“Of course,” Kara said and took two steps back waving her hands out in front of her. “Thank you again and I’m sorry for the inconvenience. The article should be printed this week now that I have this.” She held up the release form.   
  
“I’ll be sure to read it,” he said, once again flashing that slightly vague smile that made it hard to tell if he was being genuine or merely polite. With the speed that he closed the front door, Kara leaned towards the latter.   
  
She carefully slid the form back into the folder she had brought, tucking it under her arm and jammed the pen back behind her ear for safekeeping, making her way back towards the gate, thinking vaguely of where she was going to find a fax machine when she remembered Perry’s request for followup questions. He had only been reaching, at least that’s what he would say if Kara came back empty-handed but she knew from his tone that he was only half-joking, testing the wind before actually plunging ahead. Tonight was obviously out of the question with how much of a hurry that he seemed to be in but the invitation for another interview was more than just lip service than it might be best to get another interview in the books.   
  
“Nothing ventured, nothing gained,” she muttered, turning back around and back up to the house. She was walking at a much slower pace than she normally did and she knew that the cautious part of her was hoping that when she did finally make it to the front door that Bruce Wayne would be gone and the sudden urge to once again be a reporter instead of a glorified gofer would pass.”   
  
It didn’t and when she knocked on the door, she did so with the same kind of confidence that came so effortlessly to Supergirl. Nevertheless, she still braced herself for the squall of icy wind that was likely to blow her way. It seemed to Kara that the more money one had, the shorter their temper ran and a slight change in the script was often enough to knock them completely off balance. The only exception had been Lena. How many times had she pushed aside work to spend time with her without so much as a peep, how she was always been happy to see Kara walk into her office without making an appointment. Until now, of course. _I don’t even know if she would see me if I made an appointment._ Kara didn’t allow herself to chase that thought, letting it roam free, confident that it would return of its own accord soon enough.   
  
The door opened again and Kara was ready with a smile of her own and found herself staring back at an older man who she knew at once was Bruce’s butler.   
  
“Miss Danvers, I presume?”   
  
“Yes, I was hoping to get just another quick moment of Mr. Wayne’s time if it’s possible.”   
  
“I’m afraid that Master Wayne had some urgent business to attend to. If you like, I can leave a message that I can pass along.”   
  
“No,” Kara said quickly enough. “I’ll reach out again, I would hate to bother him again after already doing it once.”   
  
“If you’re sure.”   
  
“Positive,” Kara said and took a step back.   
  
Alfred made to close the door and hesitated for a moment. “Do be careful going back, Miss Danvers. This city has earned a reputation that is a bit exaggerated but all the same…”   
  
“I will. Thank you.” She smiled much brighter and waved. He didn’t return the wave but he did nod his head before closing the door. As he did, Kara caught the tiniest glimpse inside. It looked exactly as Kara might have imagined it, looking almost cavernous, even the entryway driving home just how much house it was for even a large family let alone a bachelor and his solitary butler, except there appeared to be one more in the manor…   
  
“Lena?”   
  
Kara blinked, staring at the now-closed door, gobsmacked at what she saw or _thought_ she saw? She hadn’t imagined a woman, but it hadn’t necessarily been Lena. It wouldn’t have been the first time that she had fooled herself into thinking she had spotted her in a crowd or passing her on the street, but this was different… The brief glimpse she had caught of her had been far too shocking for it to be anything but real. She took a step forward to knock again and stopped herself, her hand hovering just an inch or two from the door.   
  
_The butler opens the door and then what? she wondered._ The answer should not have come easily. It was not so unlike a rhetorical question. Fun to ponder and to turn over in your head but not to actually answer aloud. But all the same, she knew what she would have liked to do. Knock once more on the door, ask to see Lena and then...   
  
Kara’s cheeks had gone slightly red without her even realizing it. She very quickly pressed a hand to one of them and took a step back before turning on her heel and back down the long winding path leading back to the gate. The moment she stepped beyond it, it closed behind her at that same tottering speed, the scrape of metal and the last final clank as it closed that almost startled her the way a starter’s pistol might.   
  
She cast one last look back at the manor that looked so foreboding from a distance and was seized with the sudden urge to buzz the intercom again and instead of asking to see Bruce or leave a message with his butler, she would ask to see his guest. To see Lena. Breaking the magnetic hold that thought had trapped her in she followed the road until she was sure she was alone and took to the sky again.   
  
The last thing on her mind was faxing the release form over to Perry but Kara wished very much that she could focus on that instead, to dive into the work and she might have been able to if the task she had been given had been any deeper than a wading pool. All she could think of was the pain in her chest and just how deep the wound truly was. She was once again seized with that feeling of loneliness and regret and another emotion joined the storm that she couldn’t recognize at first, not until she had played over the brief glimpse of Lena’s profile that she had caught before the door had closed completely.   
  
Jealousy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the chapter! I certainly had fun writing it.


	7. Denial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I really thought I was okay  
> I really thought I was just fine  
> But when I woke this time  
> There was nothing to take me back to sleep  
> To take you off my mind  
> This time"
> 
> -Rachael Yamagata 'Over and over'

Walking into The Daily Planet during the morning rush reminded Kara so vividly of being back at CatCo that she wouldn’t have been surprised to hear Cat Grant yelling for her from across the room. Seeing Kal chatting with someone by his desk was enough of a reality check to pull her back and she returned his wave with a small one of her own as she walked past him towards Perry’s office. She knocked twice and watched as Perry looked up from his desk and waved her inside.    
  
“I got the fax last night,” he said as Kara shut the door behind him. “You saved me a whole lot of heartache and probably saved somebody’s job.” Again it was nearly impossible to tell if he was joking or if there was a kernel of truth to what he was saying.   
  
“It was really nothing, all I did was get a signature,” Kara said, hovering near his desk, not sure if she should sit or remain standing.”   
  
“Not just any signature.” Perry gestured for her to sit and took the release form from her, stared at it for a moment, and then placed it on his desk. “I told you that I’d find you something to do,” he said. “I might have fibbed and already had something in mind. Do you think you would be up for writing an article?”   
  
“I’m not sure,” Kara answered honestly.   
  
Perry nodded and pulled his chair up closer to his desk. “Better question. If you wrote an article, would you be willing to stand behind it?”   
  
“I suppose that it would depend on the nature of the article,” she answered carefully.   
  
Perry nodded and drummed his fingers on his desk before pushing that day’s paper across his desk towards Kara.    
  
Kara turned it towards her and read the headline, her eyes widening at the headline:  **_L-Corp and Wayne Enterprises agree to cooperate on green energy initiative._ **   
  
“Surprised?” Perry asked. “You should have seen me when I got pulled into the loop about a week ago. “I would have thought I would see hell freeze over before I ever saw Wayne Enterprises and LuthorCorp work together.”   
  
“L-Corp,” Kara corrected him. “They're not the same thing. Lena changed it.”  _ For the better,  _ she thought.   
  
“Huh? Right, right. L-Corp. Anyway, everybody and their brother are going to be clogging up the phone lines and making a mess of some poor secretary’s desk bombarding them with flower arrangements and muffin baskets trying to get an interview.”   
  
“Very likely,” Kara agreed. “Do you want me to try and secure an interview with Mr. Wayne? I wasn’t able to ask him any additional questions but he did seem interested in an interview. It was probably just lip service, of course,” she added, not wanting to get Perry’s hopes up due to an insincere pleasantry.    
  
“Did he? Interesting, but no. I have an interview lined up with him already. Kent’s on deck for that one.”   
  
“Then-”   
  
He tapped the headline with his index finger. “Luthor.”    
  
“Oh…”   
  
“You interviewed her a few times in the past. One of your last articles with CatCo was on her move to Metropolis. It was good. A little soft, but good. And she was the one to introduce you at your Pulitzer ceremony. I’m assuming you are a little more than just acquaintances.”   
  
_ Not anymore…  _ _  
_ _  
_ “We’re not as close since the move,” Kara said, not wanting or able to dive any deeper into that truth with anybody, least of all her new boss. “To be perfectly honest, I don’t know if she would even agree to an interview with me…”  _ And why would she? You’re not even friends anymore…  _   
  
Perry shrugged. “Nothing in this business is ever a sure thing. If she did agree to an interview, would you do it? You’re under no obligation to say yes. This is just me asking you for another favor right after I just asked you for one.” He grinned apologetically. “I don’t want you agreeing because I bullied you into it.”    
  
Kara knew that the best thing for her to do would be to say no. What could she possibly have to gain?  _ What would you have to lose? she wondered.  _ “If Lena agreed to the interview, I would do it, but only if she knows that it would be me giving the interview.” As much as Kara would have liked to see Lena in person again, she refused to darken Lena’s doorstep or balcony again if she didn’t want to see her again    
  
“I’ll make some calls then. Do you mind flying back out on short notice? If the interview is going to happen it will happen fast… Or it won’t.” He said it in a tone that made it clear that this was simply a part of the game and he had been at it long enough that he was able to come to terms with it without any hard feelings.    
  
“No, that’s not a problem.”   
  
“I already said as much but there is a desk job here if you ever want it, Kara, but I need you to be the one to ask for it.”    
  
“I-”   
  
Perry shook his head. “Go home and get some rest, you look dead on your feet. It looks like you pulled an all-nighter.”   
  
_ That’s because I did,  _ Kara thought. She had found her mind too occupied to sleep the night before after catching a glimpse of Lena at Wayne Manor and rather than lay in bed until dawn with only her thoughts, she had spent the night patrolling the city with only her thoughts and the benefit of a few distractions in the form of a couple attempted car thefts and a smash and grab at a jewelry store. 

By the morning she had  _ almost  _ convinced herself that it hadn’t been jealousy that she had felt but something else entirely. The shock of seeing Lena again after so long and in such a situation, it would have shocked anyone, she had reasoned. And what was there to be jealous of? She had just found out that the two of them were working together, it would have been weird not to meet.  _ But at his house?  _ _  
_ _  
_ “I will,” Kara assured him.

  
“We can talk about your career prospects with the paper another time.” He waved her away not unkindly and Kara slipped out the door, closing it quietly behind her. 

* * *

“Oh God,” Sam said the moment she stepped foot into Lena’s office, quickly shutting the door behind her. “Lena, what the hell happened?”   
  
“This?” Lena pointed to her eye and made a face. “Nothing happened, I wasn’t watching where I was going and I walked into a wall.”  _ A cave wall.  _ “Currently the rumor being spread around the office is that I got it in a fistfight with my mother. Honestly, not the worst guess.”    
  
“Did you get that in Gotham?”   
  
“Yes… And that matters why Sam?” Lena asked, sounding amused at the prospect of the mental hoops that Sam was preparing to leap through.   
  
“Because you’re there almost every night.” She sat down, reached across Lena’s desk and lifted her chin slightly to get a better look at Lena’s eye and made a noise dripping with disapproval. “You’re running yourself ragged. You have been ever since you came to Metropolis. No wonder you walked into a wall.”    
  
“It’s the only way I know how to run,” Lena snarked which earned her a surprisingly frightening glower from Sam. “Have you used that on Ruby yet or are you afraid of giving her nightmares?”    
  
“I haven’t had to yet, Ruby isn’t half as stubborn as you are.”    
  
“Lucky you,” Lena teased.   
  
“The luckiest.” Sam beamed and some of the chill immediately seemed to vacate the room. “I didn’t just come in here to nag you. I had a couple of things I wanted to run by you.”   
  
“You have my undivided attention,” Lena said, minimizing the schematics for her suit that she had been poring over since early that morning and turned off her monitor to ensure that her eyes didn’t wander.   
  
“First, you  _ are  _ coming to dinner tonight, right?”   
  
“Yes,” Lena said. “Because I promised I would and not because of the way you’re staring at me right now. You can walk me out to your car if you really think I’d try and cancel on you again.” 

  
“I already put a tracker in your coffee, keeping an eye on you now would just be redundant.”   
  
“Waste of a tracker, I haven’t left the office in two days. What else did you want to run by me?”   
  
Sam cleared her throat and adjusted herself in her seat a bit, a nervous tic that Lena was very much familiar with, and that almost always meant bad news for someone in the room and seeing as it was only her and Sam… “It’s not bad,” Sam said at once as if she could read Lena’s mind. “You don’t even need to say, yes.”    
  
“And what don’t I need to say yes to?”   
  
“News of L-Corp and Wayne Enterprises collaborating hit the news cycle today and we’re getting slammed with interview requests. I have two lined up for the end of the week and a half dozen more to pencil in for next.”   
  
“And you don’t want to suffer alone?”   
  
“Got it in one.”   
  
“One little interview isn’t going to kill me, Sam…” Lena’s brow furrowed and she let her elbows skate across her desk leaning over her desk. “What’s the catch?”    
  
“No catch,” Sam said quickly. “And I already told you that you can say no if you want to. I didn’t give them anything close to a definite answer.”   
  
“It’s not some glorified tabloid, is it?”    
  
“Have a little more faith in your hand-picked CEO, Lena. It’s The Daily Planet.”

“There’s really no catch?” Lena looked skeptical, far too much of a realist to put her guard down now, even with Sam.    
  
“Not a catch exactly. It’s about the reporter that they wanted to send...”   
  
“What? Do they have an axe to grind with me?” Lena looked wholly unconcerned. “It wouldn’t be the first time. In fact, if we’re looking for a completely unbiased reporter we might be looking for a very long time.” Even some of the more glowing articles written about Lena herself or her work at L-Corp couldn’t help but take a few parting shots at her as if to remind their readers that she was Lena  _ Luthor,  _ after all and all the good that she did should be taken with a grain of salt.    
  
Sam shook her head and almost appeared to deflate sinking into her chair. “They want Kara to be the one to interview you.” _  
_ _  
_ It couldn’t be Kara… Not  _ her  _ Kara... Although, who else could it be that would put Sam into full-on damage control mode? “Why would The Daily Planet send Kara to interview me?”   
  
Sam rubbed at the back of her neck, lowering her gaze to the floor for a moment before looking up at Lena again. “Because she’s working there. I thought she was interning but evidently not? We text sometimes.”   
  
“Oh.” It’s all that Lena can say, so floored by each of Sam’s revelations that she had laid out like a good hand in poker. Without even realizing it, Lena found her attention drawn to the enormous globe on top of The Daily Planet’s building in the distance, staring at it for a moment before turning her attention back to Sam. “What about CatCo?” It shouldn’t matter to Lena what happened but the question had left her mouth before she had been able to convince herself not to ask it.    
  
“Resigned.” Sam made a face. “I don’t know why and I didn’t ask.” Sam suddenly looked like she regretted ever even broaching the subject because she waved both of her hands out in front of her. “Listen, You don’t need to do the interview. God knows that we’ll get more than enough coverage even without going to The Planet.”   
  
“I know,” Lena said softly.    
  
Sam reached across the desk and took Lena’s hand in her own, looking as if she expected Lena to pull away and looked relieved when she didn’t. “Do you  _ want  _ to do the interview?”    
  
_ No… Yes… No...  _ Both continued to alternate in her mind as if she were plucking daisy petals in a never-ending game of She loves me… she loves me not. In the end, they were both true. For every moment that she found herself missing Kara, missing her life back in National City she spent another hating her, hating herself, reminding herself that it had all been a lie. A beautiful lie, yes, but a lie all the same and there were moments that Lena found herself wishing that she could have been allowed to pretend just a little longer.    
  
“Public opinion of L-Corp in Metropolis is still lower than we’d like it to be. Having an opportunity to shine a light on some of the good that we’re doing isn’t so easy to pass up, especially when it’s The Daily Planet. And we have two other projects to announce later on, we can’t just leave them out of the loop and expect people not to assume the worst. Getting some good press from Metropolis’s largest print media is hard to pass up.” All true, although good press was the last thing on Lena’s mind.    
  
“I could always do the interview. The Planet wants your take because it’s still your company but they’ll settle for chopped liver if the alternative is not eating at all.”   
  
“You are  _ not  _ chopped liver, Sam. You’re a far better CEO than I ever was and without all the baggage.” She may disagree vehemently with Sam’s analogy but she is right that The Daily Planet may have their heart set on an exclusive with Lena Luthor, they would much rather have something to print than nothing at all. That  _ could  _ be the end of it right there. But there was a part of her that wanted to do the interview. Not for L-Corp and not because she believed that there was anything left between her and Kara to salvage but because she wanted to know that Kara’s betrayal didn’t break her, that she was as strong as she hoped she really was deep down.   
  
“They should really put that on a greeting card soon. ‘You are not chopped liver’ Happy Valentine’s Day.” Sam grinned very briefly and gave Lena’s hand a squeeze. “Up to you, Lena…”   
  
“Make the call…”   
  
“OK then. I’ll hammer out all the details this afternoon then. They obviously want to print as quickly as they can. Would tomorrow work for you?”   
  
“Yeah. 1 o'clock.”   
  
Sam nodded. “And tonight?”   
  
“Dinner, I remember, Sam”   
  
“Just wanted to make sure.” Sam gave Lena’s hand a small squeeze and turned to leave. When she shut the door behind her, Lena didn’t immediately turn her computer monitor back on. She swiveled in her chair to get a better look at the city outside. Her eyes scanned the skyline and stopped naturally once again on the building of The Daily Planet. 

* * *

Kara ended up taking Perry’s advice to heart and after returning home had hastily brushed her teeth before burrowing into the mess of blankets on her bed and fell into a somewhat fretful doze. She would have slept for far longer if not for the incessant knocking at her door that only grew louder the longer it continued.   
  
“Coming,” Kara called, her face buried so deeply under the blankets that she wasn’t sure if the person at the door had even heard her. She shambled to the door doing an unintentionally good zombie walk and used her X-ray vision to get a peek at who was on the other side of the door surprised to see Alex on the other side.   
  
“Alex, what are you doing here?”   
  
“I should be asking you that, Kara.” She pushed past Kara quickly as if she were afraid that she might try shutting the door in her face and whipped back around to face her.   
  
“You know…”   
  
“That you aren’t working at CatCo anymore? Yeah, I just figured that out this morning. Thank you for telling me, Kara.”   
  
I was going to tell you, Alex, I just… It wasn’t the right time.”  _ How many times are you going to use that excuse?  _ she wondered, because good intentions or not, that’s all it really was. Just a paper moon, just a shitty excuse.   
  
“We haven’t talked in over a week, Kara,” Alex said, the hurt audible in her voice. “I’ve tried leaving you messages and you barely ever respond and you never pick up the phone. I dropped by CatCo to see you. I just wanted to say hi before I went to work, to make sure that you were OK. Andrea told me that you haven’t worked there in weeks,” she hissed. “And then Nia pulled me aside and came clean and told me that you resigned? Were you ever going to tell me?”    
  


“Obviously.”  _ Obviously what?  _ A voice asked as if it were setting up for a punchline. “I didn’t want you to worry,” she said and suddenly felt like she was caught in the vice-like grip of a recurring nightmare. It was all too similar to the reasons she had given Lena in an attempt to explain just why she had kept her in the dark and they still rang just as hollow.    
  
“No…”   
  
“No what, Kara?”   
  
“No, I didn’t want to tell you...”   
  
“I’m your sister,” Alex said, fighting to keep her voice steady. “Why wouldn’t you want to tell me and why would you quit CatCo? You  _ loved  _ that job, Kara, I just, I don’t understand how you can just throw that all away.”   
  
“I didn’t throw it away,” Kara said. “I lost it.” She took a deep breath trying to steady herself. “I am  _ not doing  _ OK, Alex. I am trying to be, I really am but I would never be OK if I stayed at CatCo.”   
  
“You could have taken a break,” Alex said, taking Kara’s hands into her own and clutching them tightly. “You could have come back when you feel better.”   
  


“Do you know why Lena bought CatCo?” Kara didn’t give Alex enough time to answer before she spoke again. “She bought it because she knew how much Catco meant to me.”

  
“I know she did, Kara,” Alex said softly. “I thought you knew that…”   
  
“I didn’t. Why didn’t I?” Kara blinked rapidly in a last-ditch effort to stop herself from crying. “Why would she do that?” She took a deep shuddering breath and shook her head. “I had to quit because every time I went there all I could think about was how much I hurt Lena. And I know that you’re worried about me and that you think you know Lena but you’re wrong.”  _ We were wrong... _

  
“I’m sorry if I sound like a broken record, Kara, but Lena was planning to use Myriad, she used kryptonite on you. She could have killed you. If you just expect me to forgive and forget…” She shook her head. “And when you pull away like that-”   
  
“It means I need more time,” she said. “I miss you, Alex, I really do. I miss everybody but I’m not ready yet.” She pointed to her laptop perched precariously on the arm of her couch. “Kal got me a job at The Daily Planet. I’ve been interning there for a few weeks now.”   
  
“You told Clark and not me?” Alex asked, clearly stung.    
  
“He found out the same way you did.”    
  
“And have you talked to Lena since you started working there? That’s not why you did this, is it?”   
  
“No,” Kara answered honestly. “I don’t even know if she would want to see me if I did and she’s been busy with L-Corp.”  _ And spent last evening having dinner with Gotham’s most spoiled billionaire,  _ Kara thought. “And I did it for me.”

“Do you  _ want  _ to see her?”   
  
“Yes.” The answer sprang from her lips without any hesitation. She had finally wiped the slate as clean as it could get with Alex and she was in no hurry to start lying to her again.

“Kara… Are you…” Alex trailed off, looking troubled.   
  
“Am I what?”    
  
Alex swallowed a lump in her throat and glanced at Kara’s still open front door as if she was contemplating making a break for it. “Nothing. Forget I asked.” She flashed Kara a very forced smile and shook her head.    
  
“Alex I-”   
  
The sound of her cell phone vibrating and buzzing as it skittered across the kitchen table drew Kara’s attention and she held up a hand to Alex. “Just a minute, OK?” She held the phone up to her ear. “Perry?”   
  
“Interview’s a go. Tomorrow at 1 P.M. L-Corp. Be  _ early _ .” _  
_ _  
_ “She said yes then?”   
  
“She must have. Miss Arias called me herself to confirm. Didn’t give me any guff about wanting to interview Miss Luthor instead of her either,” he said as if this was the highest compliment he could pay her. “Prepare well for tomorrow but for God’s sake don’t be late.”   
  
“I definitely won’t.”   
  
“Good,” he said. “I’ll see you soon, Kara.”   
  
“See you then.”   
  
Kara hung up, setting the phone back down, unsure just what to feel. “Alex, that was-” She turned around and trailed off when she realized that she was talking to herself. Her phone buzzed again, this time it was a message instead of another call.    
  
_ I’m always here if you need me. Just please be careful, Kara. _ _  
  
_

Kara thought about chasing after her. It wouldn’t have taken her any time at all to catch up to her. But what would they say to one another that they hadn’t already? She quickly typed out a reply and hit send.

_ I’m always careful (not that I need to be) I love you. _

Almost right away her phone buzzed again and even without looking Kara could have guessed the message but looked anyway.  
  
_Love you too._ _  
__  
_ It brought a smile to her face that faltered somewhat when she shut her still open apartment door, remembering the question that Alex had wanted to ask her.  
  
_Kara… Are you…_ _  
__  
_ Kara are you what?  
  
Kara, Are you sure you can really trust Lena? Kara, are you sure about working at The Daily Planet? Kara, are you ever going to go back to Catco?  
  
And if that had been what Alex wanted to ask her it would have been simple enough to answer them, Kara thought. Yes, I think I can trust Lena again. Yes I’m sure about working at The Daily Planet for now and as for returning to CatCo? Undecided. Perhaps they wouldn’t have been satisfactory answers but they would have been at the very least honest.  
  
_And if she asked you one more?_ _The same question you can’t stop from circling your head like suds in a drain?_ _  
__  
__Kara, are you jealous of Bruce Wayne?_ _  
__  
_ “I have no idea,” Kara said out loud as she turned on her laptop, her cheeks turning faintly pink.

* * *

  
  
Ever since Lena had begun her training, she had taken a far more utilitarian approach to food than she had in the past. Gone were the days of late-night snacks and skipping meals and working through lunch. She was putting her body through hell and if she wanted to get the most out of it, her body needed the proper fuel. It also needed rest, something that had always been lacking even before she started training with Bruce, but an evening in with Sam and Ruby had done her more good than she could have imagined.    
  
The good food and conversation had kept her mind more than occupied during the evening and by the time she had called it a night at around eleven o’clock she had been too full and tired to think about much more than some of the finer points of her suit’s design. She still had tests to run using the new design for the microscopic motion activators in relation to the suit’s fabrication time. And there was still the decision on how she would go about concealing her suit.  _ A pair of bracelets, like Diana,  _ she mused as she laid down in her bed, the first time in weeks that she’s actually gone to bed at a sensible time.  _ Maybe a ring… That was a safe choice if not a bit cliche. Or a pair of glasses…  _ The corners of her mouth curved faintly upward as a memory of Kara fiddling with her glasses while she studied the menu at Noonan’s. Before the memory can spoil and turn bitter the way they always do when Lena found herself daydreaming about her time in National City, about Kara, she’s already asleep.

* * *

Making a lunch date with Kara had become such an essential part of Lena’s routine that she had unintentionally told Sam to set their interview for 1 o’clock. There would be no food for them to share and no couch for them to chat together on, just Lena at her desk while Kara sits on the other side and peppers her with questions that she’ll do her best to answer. To Lena, it felt that everything had changed or maybe she just wished that it had. There was one constant however. Kara arrived far too early.   
  
_ It’s barely even noon, yet,  _ Lena thought when she saw the elevator doors open.Kara was wearing a blue short-sleeve sweater that Lena had seen her wear on occasion. She expected Kara to walk past Jess and right into her office like she had so many times before. She watched her exchange a few words with Jess, wave one hand out in front of her frantically and take a seat in one of the empty chairs near the door.   
  
“Oh, for God’s sake,” Lena muttered. Their interview was for one o’clock. Was it Lena’s fault that Kara was insanely early? A small, petty part of her would have been happy to have her wait the entire hour until it was time for their interview but she picked up her phone and pressed Jess’s extension, not looking up from her monitor.   
  
“Can I help you, Miss Luthor?”   
  
“I noticed that my one o’clock is here.”   
  
“Umm. Yes.” Jess turned around and looked back at Lena looking guilty. “Did you want to wait or-”   
  
“You can send her in now, Jess. Thank you.”   
  
“Lena?”   
  
Seeing Kara poke her head nervously into her office and knock again wasn’t any different than the way she might enter a room when going to conduct an interview elsewhere but Lena appreciated that Kara hadn’t simply tried to pretend that the two hadn’t had a falling out. She still wouldn’t stop calling her Lena though but it would have been far too petty for Lena to keep insisting that Kara refers to her as Miss Luthor. That, it seemed, was a bell that couldn’t be unrung.

She noticed how Kara looked instinctively to the empty spot in her office where she expected to find a couch before walking over to Lena’s desk, reaching for her outstretched hand and stopping just short of taking it.   
  
“Lena… What happened to your eye? Are you OK?”   
  
“My eye? Oh.” She shook her head. “It’s nothing. Just very clumsy is all. It’s just a black eye. You don’t need to-” She withdrew her hand and gestured to the seat opposite her desk. “Sit,” she said, doing the same. “You’re early.”   
  
“I can wait if you have another meeting, my boss wanted me to come early and I didn’t want to be late.”   
  
_ So you show up an hour early…  _ “I’m actually really busy today so you coming earlier worked out fine.” She cleared her throat. “You’re working at The Daily Planet now…”   
  
“It’s just a glorified internship,” Kara said. “I proofread other people’s articles. I’m still in National City, most days I don’t even need to get out of bed.” 

  
“I see…” Lena smiled politely and sat back in her chair. “Ready when you are, Miss Danvers.”   
  
“Right… First of all, I think The Daily Planet’s readers would want to know who made the decision on a joint venture with Wayne Enterprises? The relationship between your two companies has always been of a competitive nature which makes such a big undertaking so surprising.”   
  
“It’s true that Wayne Enterprises does have some overlap with L-Corp. We’ve lost a few business contracts to them and they’ve lost a few to us too. Any bad blood between the two however was back when the company was still in my brother’s hands… We’re not the same company that we once were. I’m the one who initially reached out to Mr. Wayne. Both of our companies have invested heavily in renewable energy sources and neither of our companies has done so with profits in mind, it’s actually surprising that we haven’t tried to work together before but it was Bruce that drew up the initial contracts.”   
  
“And what may I ask is your end goal?” Kara asked, her pencil poised over her notebook.    
  
“That’s never changed… It’s always been L-Corp’s mission to put more good into the world. To make it a better place… With Wayne Enterprises' help, we hope that we can make that a reality much sooner.”   
  
“That’s very admirable,” Kara said.    
  
“More specifically, we’re interested in reducing global emissions and providing a cheaper alternative energy source to those who need it.”    
  
“Still trying to save the world…” Kara looked up from her notepad guiltily. “Sorry. I keep forgetting…” She shook her head and bent back over her notepad, still scribbling. “Have you run into any unique challenges collaborating with Mr. Wayne on your current undertaking?”   
  
“Of course,” Lena said at once and smiled. “I’ve always worked better alone… It’s hard for me to trust others, especially with a project that I feel so strongly about. I believe in that regard, Mr. Wayne and I are kindred spirits. We may butt heads from time to time but I feel that we work well together. He pushes me to be better. The most important thing will always be the work and as long as we are able to put our egos aside, I believe that we can do a lot of good together.”    
  
“Gotham and Metropolis are very lucky,” Kara said, her mouth curved into a polite smile that looked incredibly fake to Lena’s eyes.    
  
“I wouldn’t go that far,” Lena said bitterly. “Metropolis still has to put up with having a Luthor in their midst, trying to improve the city is the least I can do.”   
  
“Lena… Don’t…”   
  


“Gotham and Metropolis will serve as test cities for some of our green initiatives,” Lena continued. “But our goal will always be to help on a global scale.”   
  
“What you’re doing… It’s amazing. People are going to call you a hero.”   
  
“I don’t want to be a hero Miss Danvers. I just want to help people. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”   
  
“I know that…”    
  
Lena fell silent, biting down on her tongue to resist the urge to lash out, to sting, to hurt. That wasn’t why she had agreed to the interview with Kara. She had already stumbled down that path once before and it ended with her putting Kara’s life in danger.    
  
“Lena…”   
  
“Go on,” Lena said, a bite of impatience evident in her voice.    
  
“Such a partnership is so unheard of between companies as large as L-Corp and Wayne Enterprises. are you open to more collaboration in the future?”   
  
“I would need to talk to Mr. Wayne before I discussed any specifics but I can say that I would be more than open to working with him more in the future if the opportunity arises.”   
  
“It sounds like the two of you are friends,” Kara said.   
  
Lena chuckled and shook her head. “Mr. Wayne is a trusted colleague but I wouldn’t ever say that we were friends. Neither he nor I seem to have a knack for making them and I’d prefer to try and keep our relationship as professional as possible.”    
  
“I see,” Kara said, looking suddenly looking very pleased and Instead of writing anything down, she tapped her pencil against the side of her notepad looking as if she had another question she wanted to ask but decided against asking it. 

  
Kara flipped to a new page in her notebook, positioned her pen just over the page, and looked up at Lena. “I just had a few more questions if that’s OK.”   
  
“Of course,” Lena said. “Go right ahead.”   
  
The few remaining questions turned out easy enough to answer and while none of them have too much bite to them they are enough to keep Lena on her toes. After all, Kara didn’t come out to write a hit piece. This was as close to a friendly sparring match between a huge corporation and a reporter as it could get. And when Kara stood up to leave, Lena instinctively rose with her to say goodbye.    
  
“The article should be published by the end of the week. Perry is going to want it out ASAP.” Kara turned to go, her notebook still in hand when she turned back around. “Thank you for agreeing to the interview… I do hope you read it when it comes out.”   
  
“I’ll try,” Lena said noncommittally. “Good luck with your article.”   
  
Kara nodded, already hovering in the doorway, one foot already outside. “And good luck with everything, Lena. Truly…” She smiled almost shyly, teetered on the balls of her feet, and shut the door behind her.    
  
_ You got skinny,  _ Lena thought, watching the elevator doors close and the numbered lights begin to descend as Kara made her way down to the lobby.  _ Why are you so skinny? _ _  
_ _  
_ “Hey,” Sam said, knocking on Lena’s still half-open door. “How did it go?”   
  
“Fine,” Lena said. “Just like any other interview.”   
  
“Mm-hmm,” Sam said, looking unconvinced. “I’m glad though.”   
  
“Wait for the article before you start celebrating.”   
  
“True. I’m still afraid that they’re going to end up taking one of my quotes out of context and run with it.”   
  
“I think that might be a rite of passage at this company.”   
  
Sam chuckled. “Maybe. You working late again tonight?”   
  
“Why even ask at this point?”She suddenly looked up from her computer. “Did you have lunch yet?”   
  
“No, that’s why I came up here, to ask you.”   
  
“I-”   
  
“Can’t eat lunch, I know,” Sam replied. “Still thought I should ask.”   
  
“It means a lot that you did, Sam. Really... “ She shut her eyes and rubbed her temple with her thumb. “If I ask you to do me a favor will you do it and never mention it again?”   
  
“Where do you want the body buried this time?"   
  
“Go have lunch with Kara…”    
  
The roguish grin faded from Sam's face and she exchanged a brief look with Lena and gave her a quick nod before walking briskly to the elevator.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There may be a small time skip in the near future...
> 
> Thanks as always for reading!
> 
> Come yell prompts at me here inkedroplets.tumblr.com/


	8. New Beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _"As the sun slips over my shoulder  
>  All my need is pulling me closer  
> Only you make this rock spinning  
> Off to nowhere much more appealing"_  
> -Tennis 'I'll Haunt You'

The interview had been just that, an interview. Kara had told herself (several times) that she would not,  _ could not _ expect anything more than that. And each time she had assured herself of that with as much sincerity as she could muster but even after all of that, it still hurt.. .  
  
There had been no discernable chill in the air while they had talked and if Kara squinted, she thought that she could even pinpoint some points during the interview where things had appeared to be going well, where she could almost fool herself into believing that things had returned to how they had been before. But the rest of the time, Kara couldn’t quite shake the feeling that the two were merely shouting at one another from across an ever widening chasm. Maybe that was all they had left…   
  
“Kara! Wait up!”    
  
Kara stopped, the flow of people leaving L-Corp flowing seamlessly around her. “Sam?”   
  
“I was hoping I would catch you.” She took a deep breath and let it out in one loud exhale. “I really need to go to the gym more. I don’t need to chase Ruby around as much anymore and being stuck at my desk all day, I’m not getting all that much exercise.”   
  
“I meant to come say hi but I didn’t want to bother you, and I didn’t know if it was a good idea to just go wandering around... “    
  
“I’m one floor up from Lena,” she said. “And you can stop by anytime, you’d never be a bother. Did you have lunch?”   
  
Kara shook her head.    
  
“I was just about to head out myself. There’s a really great Chinese place down the street.”   
  
“I don’t want to intrude…”   
  
“Oh, you’re worse than Lena,” Sam said and linked arms with Kara. “Trying to get her to do anything is like pulling teeth and you couldn’t possibly be intruding when I invited you.”   
  
“If you’re sure…”    
  
“Very. You’ll love it. The baozi is to die for.”   
  
“What about their potstickers?”   


* * *

After a little prodding from Sam, Kara found her appetite again and it took her finding it to realize just how long it had been gone, how long Lena had been gone… Kara had always thought of her life as split up into two different eras; her brief time on Krypton and her life here on Earth. Lately, though she had begun to wonder if she hadn’t entered another without realizing it, one without Lena in it. One that she was trying to make the most of.    
  
“It goes without saying,” Sam said, dabbing at the corner of her mouth with a napkin, “I’m paying, so feel free to order as much as you want.”   
  
“I can’t let you do that,” Kara said, immediately reaching for her purse on the chair next to her. With the cat now officially out of the bag about her change in employment from full-time reporter to a glorified internship, she had grown sensitive—maybe overly so—about any attempt to let her weasel out of paying her fair share.   
  
“I already paid,” Sam said and grinned. “Quicker on the draw,” she teased. “Better luck next time.”   
  
“You have to let me pay next time.”   
  
“As long as there’s a next time.” Sam speared a potsticker with her chopsticks instead of picking it up and popped it into her mouth. “Now that you’re working in Metropolis, no reason we can’t meet up more often. Which reminds me, Ruby is demanding to see her cool aunt Kara with the cool new job, at your earliest convenience.”    
  
“I’d really like to see her.” Kara smiled. “How is she?”   
  
“Growing like a weed and your random bouts of surliness. All the signs of someone well on their way to being a teenager.” Sam made a face and sighed. “At the risk of sounding all too much like my mother, they grow up way too fast.”   
  
“Then I definitely need to stop by. Definitely, after I finish my article.” Kara grimaced, stared at her notebook sitting in the seat next to her, and shook her head. “ _ If  _ I finish my article.”   
  
“Says the woman with the Pulitzer.”   
  
“I’m way past rusty,” Kara said and snatched up the last potsticker.   
  
“You’ll do great,” Sam assured her. “Lena said that the interview went just fine.”   
  
“You talked to Lena?” Kara asked, nearly choking on the last bite of potsticker in her mouth. “About our interview?”   
  
Sam nodded. “Just real quick. Which is about all that Lena has time for these days.”    
  
“How is she?”   
  
“Too busy, but what else is new? She’s been focused on getting the joint venture with Wayne Enterprises up and running. Near daily trips to Gotham and late evenings at the office and with evidently a newfound love for fitness. I don’t know how she manages.”   
  
“I noticed.” Kara cleared her throat nervously, her eyes darting away from Sam’s like a frightened school of fish. “I just mean she looks different than I remember her.”  _ More beautiful.  _ Where had that come from? Not that she should have been surprised, Lena  _ always  _ looked beautiful. There had been times where Kara thought Lena more resembled a work of art one might find tucked away in a corner of a museum somewhere than an actual living, breathing person but the thought had never lingered before, it had always drifted into her mind like a windblown cloud and drifted out the same way. Now, it seemed to be lodged there with no sign of budging.

Sam’s gaze flickered to a passing waiter, waved him down, and pointed at the empty platter in front of them. “One more plate.” She turned back to Kara and smiled. “I’d order two more if I thought we could finish them. You lost some weight you really didn’t need to lose, Kara.”   
  
“I know,” she said, her voice barely more than a whisper. “Alex gets on me about that all the time. To be honest, this is the first meal I’ve really enjoyed in a while.”   
  
“Well, I’m always free for lunch, Kara. Dinner too if you don’t mind eating late.” She glanced away and ran a finger around the rim of her glass. “I don’t want to assume anything and I really don’t want to ruin our lunch, but I’m guessing that you losing weight has something to do with the fight that you and Lena had.”   
  
Kara could have lied and the thought did cross her mind briefly. There wasn’t even the slimmest of chances that Sam would believe her but it would likely stop her from prying any further. It worked with Alex and it worked with Nia and James and sometimes it even worked for herself. “Yeah,” she said, pretending to be very interested in the fish tank on the opposite wall. “It’s not Lena’s fault,” she said quickly. “It’s mine… “I just… I miss her so much… I guess I’m still trying to figure out how to live my life without her in it.” 

“I told you back in National City not to give up on Lena but I don’t want you to give up on yourself either, Kara.”    
  
“I promise I’m not,” Kara said and managed a very small smile. “Too many people worried about me to do that,” she joked, trying to stop herself from wondering if Lena ever worried about her.   
  
The waiter returned to their table, clearing his throat to announce his presence before swapping out the empty platter in the center of the table for one laden down with potstickers, refilled both their cups of tea, and beelined for another table that was attempting to flag him down. 

  
“Full disclosure, I’m already full,” Sam said. “I can probably eat one or two more of those before you’ll need to walk me to the hospital instead of back to L-Corp.” She once again speared one on the end of her chopstick, this time pointing it at Kara. “We can do leftovers if  _ you’re  _ full. But if you’re not and you finish the entire platter… I could be convinced to tell you something I probably shouldn’t.”   
  
Kara cocked her head to the right, looking at Sam. “Are you… bribing me?”    
  
“That’s a very dangerous accusation coming from a reporter.”   
  
“Intern,” Kara reminded her.   
  
“I wouldn’t call it bribing, at least I never called it that with Ruby. In hindsight I don’t know if offering extra TV time for finishing all her vegetables will go down as one of my parenting triumphs but I’ll let other people be the judge of that.”   
  
“I was going to eat these anyway,” Kara said, picking up her chopsticks.   
  
“Of course you were.”

It would have taken Kara only a minute or two to polish off the entire platter if she were going for speed but seeing as they were sitting in a fairly busy restaurant, Kara took her time and finished it in five.    
  
“Wow,” Sam said. “That was… Impressive?”   
  
“Not the first time I’ve heard that.”   
  
“And definitely not the last.” Sam sat up straighter in her chair, scooting closer to the table and let out a small sigh. She steepled her fingers and looked at Kara over the top of them, looking far more like the CEO of L-Corp than Kara’s friend. “I don’t want to give you false hope or have you read too much into what I’m going to say, but I think you deserve to know and with how stubborn the both of you are…”   
  
Kara shook her head. “I don’t follow you, Sam.”    
  
“I’m sure that Lena still cares about you, Kara, even if she’s hurting and I know that she is. If you still care about her-”   
  
“I do,” Kara answered quickly.   
  
Sam smiled, nodding. “Then the best thing you can do for  _ you  _ and her is to take better care of yourself. Give her and you some time to heal and then maybe…” Sam shrugged. “Maybe you two can patch things up. Like I said, I don’t want to get your hopes up… I just… I don’t like seeing both of you so unhappy. So no more skipping meals and making your very dear friends and family worry.”   
  
“No more skipping meals,” Kara repeated. Sam’s insight was far from irrefutable proof that Lena did in fact still care about her but it was pretty damn close and even after all that had happened, Kara couldn’t help but find herself wanting to be optimistic, wanting to believe that there was a way back to Lena, even if it would take a while for her to find out exactly how.   
  
“Exactly. And I know you just gorged yourself on potstickers but that means having dinner later.  _ Much  _ later.”    
  
Kara laughed, finding it so much easier to smile. “Maybe not so much later.”    


* * *

Lena had been well accustomed to late nights even before she had decided to devote her time (and resources) to becoming a vigilante but even she had her limits and watching the fabricator stitch her suit into being thread by thread was beginning to have an almost hypnotic effect. She could have simply let the machine run overnight and come back fresh in the morning but it felt wrong to leave things half-done especially so close to the finish line.    
  
She watched the last few threads of light crisscross over one another, meet, and then come to a halt. Rising up out of her chair, she felt a small shy smile spread across her face as she began to pace around the suit, examining it from every angle. Like every project before this one, there was always a sense of pride that came with success and after so many scrapped prototypes behind her, she was relieved to see that even her highly critical eye found very little that she wanted to change.    
  
Her first suit had been a simple straightforward design that had more closely resembled Bruce’s Batsuit. She had intentionally made it overly bulky with far more protection than would have been wise as a way to test how quickly the nanites could materialize the suit and to test her own mobility with it on.

Her second had more closely resembled the armor that she wore on Themyscira with overlapping bands of kevlar which proved promising but the design had been lacking in several areas, mainly the gladiator skirt that left a good portion of her body unprotected. Fine for a demigod, not so much for Lena who needed every bit of protection that she could afford within reason.    
  
Her final design had been an amalgamation of all her previous suits distilled into something that Lena still felt was completely her own. Bruce and Diana had been her teachers but she had no desire to stand in either of their shadows. She did however feel fit to pay homage to them. The suit was considerably more sleek than any of Bruce’s designs, but it was nearly all black and some of the sharp angles on the helmet evoked the design of the batsuit’s cowl. The gauntlets of the suit were less for catching bullets and more meant as last-ditch protection against higher caliber gunfire but they were also capable of projecting energy shields that Lena thought was the technological equivalent.    
  
She groped for the tablet on the lab table, tapping a button, and watched the suit seemingly vanish before her eyes.  _ Dematerialization could be faster,  _ she mused. She picked up the ring that she had attached the microscopic motion activator up off the table and slipped it onto her finger. She stared at it for a moment and then slipped the ring off her finger watching as the nanites went to work the suit stitching itself together and materializing on her body.    
  
_ Weird,  _ she thought.  _ Really weird.  _ The last to materialize was the helmet. The HUD display flickered to life and Lena found herself frozen to the spot for a moment. “Like buying a new computer,” she muttered, her voice coming out distorted and unrecognizable even to herself. Tracking her eye movement, the HUD vanished and Lena was able catch a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror. So unsure that it was actually her in the mirror she lifted one hand and waved to herself, a nervous chuckle soon following.    
  
Too tired to do anything more than gawk at herself in the mirror, Lena brought the ring close to her finger as if to slip it on again and watched as the suit began to dematerialize.  _ I need to run more tests,  _ she thought, wanting to put the tech through its paces before she actually went out into the field for real. Any mistake, any error could be costly.  _ Deadly, _ a voice reminded her although Lena had already made her peace with that even before she had decided to approach Bruce at the gala. She had already begun making arrangements for the eventuality or as Bruce was so fond of reminding her,  _ the inevitability.  _   
  
_ And on that sunny note,  _ she thought, yawning.  _ Bed.  _   


* * *

  
  
“I thought you were taking the day off today?”    
  
“I am,” Lena said, stepping into Sam’s office. “Not that most people would know the difference either way.” She leaned on Sam’s desk and set a coffee down on top of it, sliding it closer to Sam.   
  
“What are you talking about? Everybody works harder when you’re here. All the new hires are still deathly afraid of you.” She took a small sip and patted Lena on the arm appreciatively. “Makes my job so much easier. I am talking about the coffee you brought me,” she teased. Sam drummed her fingers on the lid and looked up at Lena. “Be honest, how many frequent flyer miles have you racked up going back and forth to Gotham?”   
  
Lena chuckled. “None. It’s a stone’s throw away and you don’t actually get frequent flyer miles when you fly yourself.”   
  
“You know what some of the tabloids are saying about you, don’t you?”   
  
“What? That I drink the blood of the innocent? I saw that one.”   
  
“No, not that one, although I did think about getting that one framed and giving it to you as a birthday gift. The one that alleged that you and Gotham’s richest are an item.”   
  
“Scandalous,” Lena said, completely deadpan.   
  
“It’s not true… Right? Because I just always thought you had a different type…”   
  
“No, Sam, it’s not true.” She made a face. “Would you care to enlighten me on what you think my type is exactly?”   
  
Sam took a sip of coffee, looking over the cup at Lena. “I know that I'm the CEO but your name is still technically on the building, don’t know if it’s all that smart to risk making you upset.”    
  
“I’m not that petty,” Lena assured her, looking amused.    
  
“No one in particular,” Sam said cagily. “Just someone with a better head on their shoulders than a billionaire that doesn’t know what to do with all his time and money. The female type,” she clarified, taking an obnoxious sip of coffee.   
  
“I’ll pick you up a deerstalker cap while I’m in Gotham, Sam. You’ve obviously missed your true calling as a detective.”   
  
“I knew those career aptitude tests were all bullshit.” She smiled warmly at Lena and held up her coffee. “You didn’t really come here all this way just to say hi and bring me a coffee before you left for Gotham, did you?”    
  
“I did,” Lena said, already backing up towards the door. “For all the times I canceled on you.”   
  
“Then you only owe me about a hundred more coffees.”    
  
“Noted.” Lena took a step out of Sam’s office, hesitated, and stepped back inside. “I forgot to ask,” she said, pretending to look at her watch. “How was lunch yesterday?”   
  
“Lunch was good. We ate at that Chinese place not far from here. Kara seemed to like it.”    
  
“Oh,” Lena said. “I ate there a couple of weeks ago,” she said, trailing off.    
  
“Maybe next time we could all go together…”   
  
“You know how hard it is to get me to keep a lunch date,” Lena said, already halfway out the door.   
  
“And yet that hasn’t stopped me from trying,” Sam shouted. “Fly safe!”   
  
Her heels clicking against the floor in a steady rhythm, Lena came to a stop in front of the elevator. She pressed the button for the first floor and dug her phone out of her purse, more than a little embarrassed that she even had the number among her contacts in the first place. She heard the pleasant ding from the elevator as the doors slid open and Lena put her hand in between them to keep them from closing again, tucking the phone between her shoulder and ear.    
  
“Yes? Hello, I’d like to place a rather large order,” she said, sidling onto the elevator. “No, not for L-Corp this time…”    


* * *

  
  
Walking into The Daily Planet has somewhere along the way become familiar enough that Kara could consider it a part of her routine. Coffee from the cart nearby (extra cream and sugar), a brief stop at the front desk to pick up a guest pass to be let into the building and then off to see Perry so she could see what he wanted her to do that day.    
  
Today though, she was already set up at a desk in a cramped ‘office’ that was most definitely the old supply closet, tapping away at a keyboard that is not at all ergonomic, trying not to imagine herself as some rusted hulking bit of machinery that has been conscripted back into service after a long time in storage. If the article were on anything else, the interview with anyone else, Kara was quite sure that she would have had a harder time of it, but seeing as it was Lena… Writing didn’t come easy exactly but Kara had no doubt that what she was writing was good. She only hoped that Perry would think so too, not that he would be shy about it either way. He was perhaps the first person that Kara had ever met that she would have labeled as a straight-shooter that wasn’t a complete asshole. He was tough but fair and with how little employee turnover there was at The Planet, it seemed that everyone else had come to a similar conclusion. 

She would have probably worked straight through lunch if not for Sam’s pep talk yesterday. She had been hoping to find some shortcut back to Lena, to fix what had been broken but if it was time that they needed, Kara was happy to give Lena just as much of it as she needed. Stretching a bit and nearly knocking over an already teetering stack of old papers, she squeezed out of her office to go grab lunch.    
  
_ Maybe Big Belly Burger?  _ She had been smelling it for the last ten minutes, wafting in under the door, which meant someone was likely eating at their desk in the mad rush to finish an article before the deadline. What she hadn’t expected was seeing most of the staff crowded around their desks in clusters talking animatedly most of them with a burger in one hand.    
  
“What’s going on?”   
  
“Somebody bought lunch for the office,” a pretty blonde woman that Kara had only spoken with once said. She pointed over to the table usually reserved for doughnuts. “I thought Perry told everyone though…”   
  
“I thought so too.” Perry waved at the both of them, looking flustered. “I forgot you were in there,” he said, pointing to the room Kara had just squeezed out of. “Miss Arias sent it over, thanks for doing such a good job with the interview yesterday.” His mouth was a thin line and he pointed first at Kara and then at the table weighed down with what looked like the entire menu from Big Belly Burger. “This isn’t going to color your article in any way, is it? I don’t think this would count as a bribe,” he said, looking almost confused at the gesture.   
  
“No,” Kara said. “If it makes you feel any better I could pay for anything I ate,” she suggested.   
  
“No, no. If you say it won’t affect your article then I trust you.” He jerked his head towards the supply closet Kara had set herself up in. “I’d hate anyone to think I treat my staff so poorly that I make them write in the equivalent of a broom cupboard. There’s a desk with your name on it if you want it. Just say the word,” he said. “Go eat.” He waved her off and made his way back to his office.    
  
Casting one quick look around the room and not seeing Kal, she grabbed two burgers off one of the trays set up and a box of fries and retreated back to her makeshift office, already knowing how proficient she was at typing one-handed while she ate.    
  
_ Buying me lunch is one thing,  _ Kara thought, reaching into her purse for her phone.  _ Buying lunch for the whole office is above and beyond, Sam.  _   
  
Dialing Sam’s number, Kara listened to it ring, nearly hanging up before she heard Sam’s voice on the other end.   
  
_ “Kara? Hey! I was just in the middle of my lunch and I thought it was someone from L-Corp calling, they always pick the worst time to drop something in my lap.”  _ _  
_ _  
_ “Just me. I just wanted to say thank you for lunch.” _  
_ _  
_ _ “Again?” _ _  
_ _  
_ “I mean today.” _  
_ _  
_ _ “Today?” _ _  
_ _  
_ “The Big Belly Burger,” Kara said, sneaking a fry and trying not to chew too loudly.    
_  
_ _ “Uhh, did you memorize my card number when I wasn’t looking, Kara?” _

  
“You didn’t buy lunch for The Daily Planet?”    
  
_ “No, I didn’t. You sure it was L-Corp, Kara?” _   
  
“I’ll call you back later, Sam,” Kara said, standing up and banging her knee on the desk.    
  
_ “Sure, line’s always open.” _   
  
Kara hung up, her lunch momentarily forgotten, slipping once more out the door and walking towards Perry’s office. There could only be one other person that it could have been… But she was almost afraid to hope. So strong was the urge to call Lena, to fly to her side and hug her, to apologize a hundred times, a thousand times if that’s what it took that Kara found herself hovering an inch off the ground as she knocked on Perry’s office door.    
  
“It’s open,” he barked.    
  
She planted her feet firmly on the ground before opening the door, poking her head in. “Perry? I’ll take the reporter position.”    
  
He looked up, his face inscrutable before looking back down at his work. “Welcome aboard, Kara.”   
  
“Thank you.”   
  
“What changed your mind?”   
  
Kara looked down at the floor, smiling. “Nothing in particular,” she lied.    
  
“Really? I would have thought it was trying to work in that utility closet."   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small time skip incoming next chapter. Hope you all enjoyed the chapter
> 
> If you want to ask me random things or want to shoot prompt ideas my way come prod me here: inkedroplets.tumblr.com


	9. Always The Last One To Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lena's training concludes and Kara finally convinces Alex to visit her in Metropolis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"Now I'm staring at your photograph  
>  And hoping you ain't made a fool of me  
> So if you're struggling to go to sleep tonight  
> When you're on your own beneath the lonely lights  
> Oh darling if I ever cross your mind  
> Won't you let me know?"_
> 
> -Barns Courtney 'Hard To Be Alone'

_Six months later_

Lena’s trips to Gotham had become so frequent that she felt strange thinking that it might be her last for a while. Her training was maybe not complete but she had been put through Bruce’s wringer and came out the other side relatively unharmed. Another black eye and a fracture or two between teacher and student seemed a reasonable price to pay although it had taken her a fair bit of mental gymnastics to brush off the injuries to Sam as nothing worth dwelling on. Not that she had been completely successful, Sam was too shrewd to simply forget something like that and Lena was sure that she had filed each incident away. Separately they were simply odd occurrences but it wouldn’t be long before she would piece them together and the white lies and well-intentioned untruths Lena told her would need to grow exponentially until one day, she would be no different than Kara...  
  
 _I flew here on a bus_  
  
Lena felt a dull stab of pain as the memory resurfaced. Doing her best to ignore it, she knocked on the door to Wayne Manor, expecting to see Alfred when the door swung open.  
  
“Diana?”  
  
“Lena.” Diana stepped outside and wrapped her up into a hug just shy of bone-crushing. “I thought I would surprise you, seeing as this is your last day training with Bruce.” She was dressed in a beige hooded cardigan and white v neck top that Lena thought suited her, although she had never seen Diana wear anything she looked bad in.  
  
“I’m definitely surprised. You didn’t have to come all this way though. Unless you wanted to watch your boyfriend kick my ass.” Lena smirked and let Diana usher her inside.  
  
“I _think_ Bruce has something a little different planned for today.”

“Yes, Master Bruce is always far more amiable with you around, Miss Prince,” Alfred said as he came in from the kitchen, a dust rag clutched in one hand. “I would have answered the door, Miss Luthor but I’m afraid that Miss Prince insisted.”  
  
“Just like I insisted you call me, Diana, Alfred.”  
  
“I’ve been trying to get him to call me Lena for ages. I think he’s just being stubborn.”  
  
“Perhaps spending too much time with, Master Bruce,” Alfred said in that deadpan way that made it difficult to discern just how much he was joking.  
  
“You’re always free to take a vacation, Alfred.” Bruce came out from the hallway that led to the study. 

“You first,” Alfred said, exchanging a meaningful look with Diana.  
  
“Maybe Bruce will have more time now that I won’t be occupying so many of his evenings.” Lena smiled somewhat apologetically at Diana. She had never deluded herself into thinking that pursuing the life of a vigilante to be anything but selfish but it was still a sobering reminder of just how true that was.  
  
“Always the optimist, Miss Luthor,” Alfred said, turning on his heel to return to the kitchen.  
  
“Just a minute,” Lena said, holding up a hand to Bruce. “Alfred?”  
  
“Yes, Miss Luthor?”  
  
“This is for you.” She pulled out a small gift box from one of the pockets of her black short wrap coat. “For all of the tea and snark,” she teased.  
  
“Wholly unnecessary but very welcome all the same,” Alfred said. He lifted the lid of the box and smiled.  
  
“For your garden,” Lena said. “They’re a new breed of the plumeria that I’ve tinkered with. Able to adapt and thrive in varying degrees of sunlight. Perfect for a garden or a cave.”  
  
Alfred plucked the packet of seeds from the inside of the box, smiling. “A very thoughtful gift, Miss- Lena,” he said. “I hope that means you’ll stop by when they’ve bloomed.”  
  
“Of course, I will. Maybe this time you’ll have a chance to miss me first.”She smiled and turned to face Bruce. “Diana said you had something different planned for today? Forgive me if I’m a little apprehensive.”  
  
Bruce’s face remained as inscrutable as ever and he set off back towards his study, gesturing to Lena to follow him.  
  
“Tea? Miss Prince?”  
  
“That sounds lovely,” Diana said, slipping past Lena and giving her shoulder a very gentle squeeze. “See you in a bit.”  
  
Not feeling any less uneasy, Lena followed after Bruce to his study and was shocked to see him actually sit down at his desk instead of making a beeline for the grandfather clock on the far wall that allowed them access to the cave.  
  
She sat in the leather chair opposite him, still trying to get a read on him and failing. She was normally so good at reading people that Bruce was one of the few people she had trouble pinning down most times. “Going to keep me in suspense, Bruce?”  
  
“You’re ready,” Bruce said. “I wouldn’t put an end to your training unless I thought you were. You have room for improvement. Your form needs to be tighter, and you rely a bit too much on your suit for stealth but you’re ready.”  
  
“Tell me how you really feel,” Lena teased, her expression sobering quickly enough. “It means a lot coming from you, Bruce. I couldn’t have done this alone… I don’t know how to thank you.”  
  
“Don’t make me regret training you…”  
  
Lena smiled sadly. “It would have sounded harsh to anyone happening to eavesdrop on the conversation but the meaning wasn’t lost on Lena. On her first trip down to the cave, Bruce had led her to a display case housing a costume. A memorial to someone who Bruce had taken under his wing and a sobering reminder of the danger that came with Lena’s choice. 

“I won’t and I’ll be as careful as I can be.” It wasn’t much of a promise but it was honest. There was a limit to how careful one could be when you planned to spend your nights prowling the city for crime. She turned her palms upward on the desk, her eyes drawn to the ring she now wore constantly. She had stopped counting time in days and weeks-long ago. Nowadays she counted them in bruises, calluses, and tweaks made to her suit, praying, hoping that each one put a little more distance between her and the pain she had fled National City to get away from.  
  
“Metropolis is magnitudes safer than Gotham but that doesn’t mean you can get sloppy. If you’re ever in over your head-”  
  
“I won’t be,” Lena said. “You trained me, after all.” It might have sounded like flattery but one thing that had become blatantly clear from spending time with Bruce was that he had prepared for every single contingency that he could possibly think of…  
  
“That reminds me,” Lena said and rummaged in her pocket, pulling out a flash drive and laying it on his desk. “I didn’t wrap it but I suppose that it’s a kind of gift, depending on how you look at it.”  
  
“What is it?” Bruce asked, sliding it across the desk towards him and picking it up.  
  
“A backdoor program into L-Corp.”  
  
“And you’re giving me this why, Lena?”  
  
“I’m sure that it’s crossed your mind that I might one day go rogue. Brainwashed, controlled, compelled into doing something that could endanger others.” She smiled wryly. “I’d be insulted if you didn’t have any contingency in mind for dealing with me.” She pointed to the flash drive in his hand. “With that, you’ll know exactly what tech I have, ways to hack into it, bank accounts, everything… It’s like I’m handing you a chunk of personal kryptonite,” she said, her smile faltering somewhat. “And if I’m being honest, I would feel a lot better if you had it. I know just how much damage that a member of my family can do if so inclined…”  
  
“I’ve trained a lot of people over the years, Lena,” Bruce said, glancing out the study’s window at the darkening sky. “I wouldn’t have ever wasted my time training someone that I didn’t think truly wanted to do good. Do you understand?”  
  
“I do… But I still want you to keep the flash drive. Just in case… Isn’t that the motto you live by, Bruce?”  
  
“I know better than to argue,” Bruce said, slipping the drive into one of the desk’s many drawers. “And I hope you do as well. I want you to come to the manor for monthly training, make sure that your skills don’t atrophy and that you’re improving in the areas I suggested.”  
  
“And here I thought you were going to just kick me right out of the nest. I think I’ve spent more time in Gotham this past month than I have in Metropolis. It would feel weird not coming back now and again.” Part of her preferred being in Gotham. Training with Bruce and going out on patrol with him meant not having the luxury of allowing her mind to wander. Especially when her mind tended to wander back to the same topic without fail.  
  
“Speaking of Metropolis…” He stood up. “I thought it best to go back there tonight.”  
  
“Just like that? I wasn’t expecting to throw a mortarboard up in the air but I did just land half an hour ago.”  
  
“You’re going to be operating out of Metropolis,” Bruce said. “Superman already knows that I’ve been training someone that plans to set up shop in Metropolis and meeting him now will save you a lot of questions down the line, especially with me making the introduction. _And,_ Diana thought that we should celebrate tonight.”  
  
Lena squirmed somewhat uncomfortably in her seat. She thought she had come to terms with the idea of her working in a city with Supergirl’s cousin. _Kara’s cousin,_ a voice reminded her unnecessarily. But she still felt seized by the idea that he would somehow know that it was Lena under the mask despite all the precautions she took to prevent that from happening.  
  
“And if Superman doesn’t want a Luthor out patrolling the streets of Metropolis?”  
  
“If you weren’t going to let me stop you from becoming a vigilante, I know you wouldn’t let him stop you either. Compared to me, he’s a pushover.”  
  
“I can never tell when you’re joking Bruce.”  
  
“Who said I was joking? In any case, he won’t know who it’s you and unless you tell him, he won’t hear it from me. Superman knows better than anyone the importance of keeping your identity a secret.”  
  
 _So does his cousin…_ Lena thought sourly. _If you’re a Luthor, that is._ She tried to push that particular thought out, succeeded at least somewhat, and stood up. “If we’re celebrating in Metropolis, I’m paying,” she said, holding open the study door for Bruce.  
  
“I thought that was implied,” Bruce said, smirking a bit as he walked past.

* * *

This was Kara’s new normal. Not that any of this was technically normal, at least not according to Alex or anyone else back in National City, but to their credit, they had been accepting of the change despite their apprehension. She still spent plenty of time in National City as Supergirl but Kara Danvers’ life was wholly centered in Metropolis.  
  


It took her three weeks for her to find a new favorite coffee shop and nearly two months before she found a new favorite Chinese restaurant. Her flying back to National City with her arms full of takeout on the weekends had become her and Alex’s new normal. They skated around the subjects that Kara knew Alex wanted to discuss, both of them too afraid to lose the ground that they had just recently begun to make up but they were talking and more importantly, laughing.  
  
The one thing that Kara had been unable to convince Alex to do had been to visit her in Metropolis as if doing that would cement Kara’s move there any more than it already was. She had finally caved after nearly six months of begging and pleading and even when Kara spotted her in the lobby of The Daily Planet her first instinct was to give her a pinch on the arm to confirm that it was really here.  
  
“Ow! Is that any way to greet your older sister? With a pinch on the arm?”  
  
“Had to check if it was really you. With how busy the DEO has been keeping you I had to make sure it wasn’t J’onn in disguise,” she teased.  
  
“Understandable. Not all of us can fly back and forth whenever we please.” She smiled and looked over Kara’s shoulders to the elevators.  
  
“Did Clark already come down? I didn’t see him and I thought I should at least say hi before we leave.”  
  
“He left early today,” Kara said, joining the exodus of people leaving the building, pulling Alex along with her. “Just said he had plans.” She shrugged. “Probably planning something with Lois.”  
  
Once outside, Kara pointed to their left and gave Alex’s arm a little tug to follow her. “There’s a really good sushi place that you’re going to love.”  
  
“And it’s not going to cost an arm and a leg? Because I’m perfectly fine with Big Belly Burger.”  
  
“Maybe an arm or a leg but not both. And Perry pays me a little bit more generously than Andrea ever did, I can splurge on a special occasion, and getting you to visit me is probably top of the list.”  
  
“Is that why you’re so determined to stick around in Metropolis? The better pay?” Alex’s tone was light and playful but Kara could tell that beneath the snark there was an honest question there. _When are you coming back home for good?_ A question that Kara couldn’t quite answer right then. _  
_  
“That and the free doughnuts on Friday. Really no contest. Besides, you know that I’m never far away from anything.”  
  
“You are late a lot,” Alex teased.  
  
“That’s a time budgeting issue and not to do with distance,” she countered, pointing out the restaurant and eyeballing the line already beginning to snake out the door.  
  
“I made a reservation,” Kara said. “Kal said he and Lois ended up waiting in line here for three hours without one.  
  
“It _can’t_ be that good.”  
  
“O ye of little faith,” Kara said, patting Alex consolingly on the back. She made her way to the hostess stand and gave the woman her name. The hostess led them back to a table near the back, quickly pointed out the menus, and then sped off again when someone called for her on the other side of the room.  
  
“You don’t come here often, do you?” Alex asked, handing Kara a menu before opening one herself.  
  
“Here? No. Perry will sometimes take some of us out here after The Daily Planet has a really big feature. I suggested burgers but you should have seen some of the looks I got.” She dragged her finger through the air near her neck and made a face.  
  
“Want to make most of the company card,” Alex said, smirking. “So what’s good here?”  
  
“The eel is amazing and so is the tuna but I can only afford one so your pick.”  
  
Alex had her face buried in the menu and she lowered it just enough to look at Kara over top of it. “Am I going to have to buy you a second dinner after we eat, Kara?”  
  
“I’m not a hobbit, Alex.”  
  
“I never said you were. I just want to know if I should save room for fries.”  
  
Kara too opened her menu, scanning the menu for an appropriate appetizer. “ _Maybe,_ ” she said, not needing to use her x-ray vision to know that Alex was glaring at her.  
  


After five minutes of spirited deliberation and ten minutes trying to wave down a waiter without dragging one to their table, they order the special for the evening and tuna sashimi, Kara batting away Alex’s attempts to slip the waiter her credit card before Kara could do the same.  
  
“You should have let me pay,” Alex scolded. “Apartments are way more expensive in Metropolis…”  
  
Kara took a cautious sip of tea, knowing what Alex was driving at and wanting to make sure she broached the topic as delicately as possible. “Perry still thinks that I’m couch surfing my way through Metropolis,” she said. “He has an acquaintance that is looking to sublet and willing to do so on the cheap… I told him that I’ll at least take a look at it.”  
  
That would mean you’d need to do the same in National City…” Alex traced a finger around the rim of her cup. “Shouldn’t be too hard to find someone if you want to sublet, even easier if you’re thinking of making your move to Metropolis more permanent…”  
  
“Alex…”  
  
“I’m not mad,” she said quickly, holding up a hand in a warding off gesture. “Really I’m not. You’ve had one foot in Metropolis and one foot back home for a while now. And you’re doing better here… A lot better than before. We’re talking for one,” she said sadly and smiled when Kara reached across the table and squeezed her arm. “You are doing better here, aren’t you?”  
  
“Yeah, I am.” She was eating regularly now, maybe not as voraciously as she did before but she was no longer skipping meals and had gained back almost all of the weight she had lost. She was no longer a complete stranger in her friend’s lives anymore and she had found her work fulfilling again. She _almost_ felt whole again. There was still some vital piece of her missing but one she had somehow learned to live without. _Like a Tin Man with no heart,_ she sometimes thought.

“Then I definitely don’t see the harm in doing a walkaround. And if the rent is good in Metropolis of all places? You’d be a fool not to jump on it.”  
  
“Just to look,” Kara assured her. “And it’s not like I’m thinking of leaving National City behind. The work I do there… It’s so meaningful to me and you’re there and everyone else.”  
  
“I know.” Alex’s smile brightened a little. “And if you _do_ make the move more permanent, I could probably stop by more often and if you had a place where I could stay over.”  
  
“Uhhh, yeah. Whenever you wanted.” Kara laughed. “How long has it been since we’ve had a sleepover?”  
  
“I don’t remember. There was that game night we had at your place last year. We played Cluedo and Lena ended up winning before we even started because she memorized the order we put the cards back in the box the last time we played. Which was definitely cheating, by the way, and I drank way too much and ended up sleeping on your couch. But I don’t think that counts. A sleepover doesn’t really count if all you do is actually sleep.”  
  
“No… I don’t think it does,” Kara said, suddenly looking distracted.  
  
“Have you talked to her at all?”  
  
Kara shook her head. “No. The last time we talked was three months ago. That article I did on the Metropolis renewal project. Lena was one of its largest donors… Just a few questions over the phone. And that wasn’t really talking… It’s just so different now, Alex… I don’t know what I can do to fix it.”  
  
“I don’t know either Kara… After everything that happened, I don’t even know if there’s a friendship to salvage but you moved to Metropolis to be closer to her-”  
  
“That’s not true,” Kara said, a bit louder than she really needed to be.  
  
“Lena didn’t play even a _tiny_ part in your decision to move here?”  
  
“Maybe a little, I don’t know…” Kara turned back in the direction of the kitchen, wishing that their food would come sooner rather than later. “Why does it matter, Alex?”  
  
“It doesn’t and I’m not trying to derail the evening, I just…” She shook her head. “Never mind, let's just drop it. There are a million other things we can talk about.”  
  
“Just what,” Kara pressed. “I promise I won’t get upset.”  
  
Alex cleared her throat and scooted her chair closer to the table, looking like she very much regretted letting their conversation wander this far down a dangerous path and was quiet for a bit before she actually spoke. “Just that I can’t imagine you doing something so-”  
  
“Stupid?” Kara suggested.  
  
Alex shook her head. “Life-changing. I couldn’t ever imagine you doing something like that for anyone other than Lena.”  
  
“She’s my best friend,” Kara said, still unable to put such a declaration in the past-tense no matter how true it was.  
  
“I know, Kara. I just can’t help but wonder if it isn’t more than that.”  
  
“I don’t know what you mean,” Kara said, needlessly straightening the bottle of soy sauce on the table to give her something to focus on and ignore the way she felt Alex’s gaze boring into her like a drill, trying to tempt her to look up and make eye contact.  
  
“I think you do,” Alex said, her overly patient voice slightly tinged with exasperation. “But I’ll happily spell it out for you if you need me to.”  
  
“Alex…”  
  
“That maybe you like Lena a little more than just a best friend.” She shrugged. “I don’t care. I mean, I do. I still haven’t forgiven Lena for what she did to you at the Fortress but you know what I mean.”  
  
“That’s crazy,” Kara muttered, so lost in her own thoughts that she didn’t hear the clink of glass as their waiter set the platter of sushi down in the middle of the table. “Thank you,” Kara gushed, looking up at the waiter, more for the timely interruption than the food, even though she was starving.  
  
“Been getting that a lot tonight,” he said with a smile. “Enjoy your meal.”  
  
Kara clicked her chopsticks together. “I’m starved,” she said, still avoiding Alex’s gaze. “Don’t expect me to wait for you.” She plucked a piece of sushi up and popped it into her mouth.  
  
“I never do,” Alex said, watching her, clearly amused. “But just for the record, I don’t think what I said is so crazy.”  
  
“That I’m in love with Lena?” Kara spluttered, nearly tweezing the piece of sushi she was holding in two.  
  
Alex gawked back at her. “Kara… I never said anything about love, I just meant that considering how much her leaving affected you and where you ended up, I would have thought that the possibility had already crossed your mind that your feelings are a little more than platonic.”  
  
“I just miss her, Alex. And yeah, maybe she did play a part in me taking a job here but she still doesn’t want to see me. But someday… I don’t know… If she ever wants to see me again, to talk again, I want to be here for her.”  
  
“OK,” Alex said and smiled. “Just as long as you’re being careful. “Little sister all alone in a big city, I can’t help but worry, but right now I’m more worried about you eating everything while I talk.”  
  
“I haven’t touched any sushi on your side,” Kara said and tapped her chopsticks at the invisible line she had drawn on the platter in front of them.  
  
“What about this one that’s right on the line? Do we cut it down the middle like Solomon?”  
  
“Obviously a coin flip,” Kara said, shrugging as if this were the most obvious thing in the world.  
  


* * *

  
  
Standing shoulder to shoulder with Bruce on a tall rooftop was far from out of the ordinary but it’s the first time that Lena’s ever been on a rooftop in Metropolis and the first time in a long time that she’s found herself waiting for a Kryptonian… It felt achingly familiar and she hated how much she wished that it was Kara she was waiting for instead of her cousin.  
  
Not that she was kept waiting long. Just when she was about to ask Bruce how long that they were supposed to wait, he came floating down out of the night sky, his cape fluttering out behind him. His gaze lingered on Lena for a moment before he touched down on the roof in front of them.  
  
“Been a while since you’ve been in Metropolis,” Clark said, especially after dark.”  
  
“Thought I should be the one to make the introductions, seeing as I trained her.”  
  
“Which makes me wonder why she isn’t going to be working out of Gotham.”  
  
“None of my proteges stick around too long, you know that better than anyone. She’s just getting out ahead of the curve.”  
  
“It’s that charming bedside manner of yours,” Clark said, turning to Lena. “Not that I’d ever turn down the help… If Bruce is willing to vouch for you then that’s enough for me.” He extended a hand out to Lena who after a moment’s deliberation took it.  
  
“It’s nice to meet you,” Lena said, her voice masked by the voice modulator. “Bruce has talked a lot about you.”  
  
“LIkewise. And I wish I could say the same but Bruce has been uncharacteristically quiet about you,” he joked. “You have a name?”  
  
“I do,” Lena said. “Not one I’m comfortable sharing though.”  
  
“I thought as much. The lead shielding in your helmet was a dead giveaway.”  
  
“What can I say? I’m shy and I somehow knew that you might try and peek.” Lena had shied away from building her suit with the purpose of combating a Kryptonian. It would have reminded her far too much of Lex and the suits that he had made to go toe-to-toe with Superman. But she did consider taking the proper precautions to protect her identity an exception. The lead shielding in her helmet and the suit dampening her heartbeat to make her that much harder to tail even to someone with super hearing. 

“All that matters to me is that you’re looking to help,” Clark said.  
  
 _Would you still think that if you knew you were talking to a Luthor?_ Lena wondered.

“I do wonder if you know what you’re getting yourself into though.”  
  
“I _have_ been training in Gotham,” Lena reminded him, stealing a glance over at Bruce. "I think Metropolis will be a nice change of pace."  
  
“Now I’m not sure if you wanted to come work in Metropolis or if Bruce just doesn’t want you in Gotham to give you a hard time.” He chuckled and looked suddenly off in the distance. “I have to go. Break-in.” He held up a hand when Bruce immediately moved to the edge of the rooftop. “I’ll get this one.” He rose into the air a few feet before turning back towards them. “I look forward to working with you,” he said. “Whoever you are. Nice suit, by the way. Not your usual style though, Bruce. No pointy ears.”  
  
“That’s because I didn’t design it,” Bruce said. “She did.”  
  
“Impressive. I’ll see you around then. _Both_ of you,” he said. “Lois is still lobbying for a double date with you and Diana.” He shrugged almost apologetically and in an instant had vanished into the night sky.  
  
“A double date?” Lena asked, trying not to sound too amused.  
  
“Come on,” Bruce said in that same brusque no-nonsense tone that Lena was so accustomed to. “We kept Diana waiting long enough.”  
  
"After you," she said, stepping to the edge of the roof and watched as Bruce grappled down to the street below, leaping after him, turning in midair and stretching out her left hand, aiming it towards the roof and making a fist, a thin wire shooting out from the gauntlet of her suit and sinking into the side, hearing it and feeling it catch before arching her body to turn into the swing as she made her descent back down to the street.

* * *

"Is there a reason you keep staring over my shoulder?" Kara asked, her eyes narrowing suspiciously.  
  
"You mean looking at you?" Alex asked. "That's usually what people do when they hold a conversation."  
  
"It is," Kara agreed. "I just thought you might be stealing glances at the pretty woman sitting behind me."  
  
Alex's cheeks went red and she dropped her gaze to the table and to the now empty platter between them. "Now who's crazy," she said, clearing her throat.  
  
"The DEO can't be keeping you so busy that you don't have time to date, Alex."  
  
"This is payback for earlier, isn't it?" Alex shook her head. "I _happened_ to notice when she sat down and I might have glanced at her a few times while we were talking. She's very tall," she said as if this explained anything at all. "And very pretty."  
  
"I noticed. I think a lot of people did," she said. She had been able to hear a handful of people whisper about the woman in voices low enough that they thought no one would hear. Thankfully nothing too off-color. They seemed too much in awe to do much of anything but whisper about how beautiful she was. Kara had caught a glimpse of the woman in the reflection of a mirror on the wall. Pretty, yes, but not anything she found jawdropping. _Lena's much prettier than her..._ Her eyes went wide and she shooed the thought away one might a fly, frantically, knowing that it would return soon enough.  
  
"And you?" Alex asked. "No one at The Daily Planet you want to sing karaoke with all night?"  
  
"I don't know how you made that sound gross, Alex, but you did somehow. And no. I'm just getting my life back to a _semi-normal_ place. Dating is the last thing on my mind."  
  
"Blame the sake." She smirked and jerked her head back towards the front. "You're still hungry, right? You can grill me about my romantic life over fries."  
  
"And a burger?"  
  
"If you don't ever bring up how you caught me stealing glances at the woman behind you to anyone else I'll buy you two."  
  
"You definitely have a deal then." Kara smiled brightly and stood up, glancing briefly at the soy sauce stain she had tried and failed to get rid of on her blouse. _So close to not spilling all over myself this time.  
_

"I'm going to go freshen up before we go. Something tells me that the bathroom is nicer here than the one they'll have at Big Belly Burger."  
  
"With those instincts, _you_ should think about a career as a reporter. I'll go pay and meet you out front."  
  
Rummaging around for her credit card as she made her way to the front of the restaurant she nearly walked right into someone at the hostess stand, coming to a very sudden stop. "I'm so sorry," she said. "I know I should watch where-"  
  
"Kara..."  
  
Kara felt the bottom fall out of her stomach. She had been so focused on apologizing that she hadn't even noticed who was standing next to the man she had nearly plowed into. "Lena..."  
  
"It's no problem at all," Bruce said  
  
"Your table's this way, Mr. Wayne," the hostess said, stepping out from behind the hostess stand and gesturing for him to follow which he did at once, glancing very quickly from Lena to Kara.  
  
"Special occasion?" Lena asked.  
  
"Huh?" So surprised that Lena actually asked her anything it took her a moment to process. "Just dinner with Alex... She came to visit..."  
  
"I see..." Lena said and smiled the same way she always did when the two met. Politely but never warmly.  
  
"It was nice. And..." _Now say that you hope she enjoys her evening,_ a voice chided. _This_ is Kara and Lena's new normal. It's not changed all that much by any stretch of the imagination but it is what it is and it's Kara's turn to answer in kind until the next time that their paths cross. She opened her mouth to say just that, except something else entirely comes tumbling out.  
  
"You can do a lot better than Bruce Wayne, Lena." She could feel the warmth in her cheeks burning hotter and had just enough time to register the confusion on Lena's face before she raised her hand to wave stiffly to her before she slipped past another couple walking inside and back outside where the cool air felt wonderfully soothing against her skin. She leaned against the brick wall of the building and took a few deep breaths, part of her hoping that Lena would come outside despite knowing that no good could come of it. Alex's words came floating back to her and she felt her stomach clench uncomfortably at the belated epiphany she was seized with.  
  
 _Oh, Rao..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alex got caught mirin' Wonder Woman, it happens to the best of us
> 
> If you want to ask me anything or request any prompt idea you might have, come this way: https://inkedroplets.tumblr.com/


	10. Looking Up at the Same Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kara wrestles with her epiphany and Lena finally begins her career as a vigilante

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _I never said where I came from  
>  You never asked what I was made of  
> You didn't need to know  
> You already know  
> I said it even so  
> You didn't need to know  
> You never said you couldn't see me_
> 
> -Mitski [Between the Breaths](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HnhTkFl5Imw&list=RDHnhTkFl5Imw&index=21)

_ You can do a lot better than Bruce Wayne.  _   
  


Lena was still trying to wrap her head around what Kara meant by that exactly when she raised her hand so stiffly that Lena thought she had flashed her the Vulcan salute before stumbling out the door. The absurdity of not only Kara’s words but the situation entirely had the effect of crumbling the wall that Lena put up around herself whenever she and Kara crossed paths and Lena found herself taking two steps towards the door before reality came rushing back in, rooting her to the spot. Kara had obviously come to the conclusion that she and Bruce were an item and with half the tabloids in Metropolis running stories about their supposed courtship it really shouldn’t have surprised her all that much.  _ Let her think that,  _ she told herself, taking a step back from the door, angry at herself that her first instinct had been to try and clear up the misunderstanding.  _ She probably wouldn’t have even believed you if you did tell her the truth,  _ she reminded herself harshly, needing that final push to get her moving again.    
  
Even with the restaurant completely packed, it wasn’t hard for Lena to pick out Bruce and Diana from the crowd. Having gotten to know them, she still thought that they were a textbook example of an odd couple but seeing them from a distance they certainly looked good together. Which made Lena feel all the more like a third wheel, wondering just how many dinners she had denied the two by taking up so much of Bruce’s time for the past six months.

She had never gotten the courage to actually ask Diana how the two had started dating. Imagining Bruce, the real Bruce, not the playboy billionaire persona that he played up for the cameras, asking anyone out on a date was such a strange concept that Lena almost found it unsettling. It  _ had  _ to be Diana that had made the first move, although that was still almost equally as surprising. 

“How did it go?” Diana asked when Lena sat down beside her.    
  
“It was just a misunderstanding... “ Lena said, clearing her throat uncomfortably.    
  
“A misunderstanding?”    


Comprehension dawned on Lena’s face and she unfolded a napkin with something of a flourish before setting it down on her lap. “It went fine. With Superman.”  _ Not with Kara,  _ she thought, admonishing herself for even letting her mind wander there.    
  
“I knew it would. I told you that you were worrying about nothing.”    
  
“I must be spending too much time with Bruce,” Lena teased, pushing the impromptu meeting with Kara from her mind.    
  
“Oh, I don’t know about that, so far I’ve been doing just fine.” Diana flashed Bruce a smile that Lena was a little surprised to see him return so easily. 

* * *

Kara was still leaning against the building when Alex came out looking for her and when their eyes met, the carefree smile on Alex’s face immediately vanished. She had never been particularly good at hiding anything from Alex and she knew from the shocked expression on her face she had no hopes of starting now.   
  
“Kara? What’s wrong?”   
  
“Lost my appetite,” she said. That wasn’t  _ exactly  _ true. She knew exactly where her appetite had gone. Back into the restaurant with Lena.  _ Lena and Bruce Wayne…  _ The man she had spotted on the cover of the tabloids at the grocery checkout with his arm wrapped around a beautiful woman and a smile on his face that she had realized she didn't care for at all.  “Can we go home instead?” She flashed Alex a weak smile that had the opposite effect that Kara had intended, only making Alex look all the more worried about Kara’s sudden change in mood.   
  
“Let’s go,” she said and gave Kara’s hand a small tug. “Let’s go home.”   
  
_ Home.  _ Where was that exactly? National City or Metropolis? Even on her best days, Kara couldn’t quite come up with an answer to that question and it seemed like it was one she thought of so often these days… But her apartment (at least for now)  _ was  _ in National City and that’s where she wanted to be _almost_ most of all.    
  
They fly the way they always have together. Alex tucked snugly under her arm, a task that’s a bit less comfortable for both of them now that they’re older, but it feels familiar and there's comfort in that, in having her sister back after so much time apart.    
  
It was Alex’s suggestion that they watch a movie and Kara offered no resistance, immediately yielding the remote to her to allow her the chance to hunt for something that they had either never seen or already watched a dozen times. She wasn’t quite ready to talk quite yet, still stuck untangling her thoughts that had clumped together like bunches of Christmas lights. For as long as it had taken Kara to come to the realization that her feelings for Lena might run deeper than friendship, it now seemed to her the most obvious thing in the world which only made the conundrum all the more maddening. Why now? Why now when the only thing that kept them from being complete strangers to one another was the odd interview now and again that was always much too brief with both of them being far too careful with one another to change much of anything.    
  


When the credits of the movie started to roll, Kara reached for the remote, hitting the power button and pointed to the kitchen table. She shuffled to the table, hastily arranging the messy stack of mail that she still hadn't opened and sat down waiting for Alex to do the same. She still wasn't ready to talk but she had no intention of letting that stop her. Much like jumping into water that one already knew was far too cold there was no ready, one could only make the leap and hope for the best.  
  
They stared at each other for a moment and Kara knew that after the rough patch that they two had just now come out the other side of, Alex wouldn’t prod and wouldn’t pry, no matter how much she might want to. Alex would sit there at the table all night with Kara in silence if that’s what Kara wanted and she would have been lying to herself if she said that didn’t sound tempting.  


“What you said to me earlier… About Lena… About me liking her…”  _ Rao, this is hard,  _ she thought. “Liking her like  _ that…”  _ She had fixed her gaze on a point somewhere over Alex’s left shoulder and when she finally gathered the courage to meet Alex’s gaze she felt her resolve waver and her eyes to start watering embarrassingly quickly. “When you went to the restroom I bumped into Lena when I went to pay. She was with someone else…” She couldn’t quite force herself to tell Alex who it was she saw Lena with, that felt too much like rubbing salt into an already painful wound.    
  
“I saw her with them and I said something stupid.” She shook her head, the color in her cheeks quickly changing to a brighter shade of red. “I don’t know why I said it… I’ve been so careful with Lena. I barely ever get to see her and I don’t want to rush things, not that there's anything to rush... I want to give her all the time she needs but it's not the first time I've seen them together," she said, thinking back to the glimpse of Lena she had caught at Bruce's manor. "And tonight when I saw her with them I don't know, I just got so jealous… It just slipped out.”   
  
"Are you jealous because you miss having Lena as a friend or because you’re jealous that someone else is dating her?” Alex asked, the expression on her face making it clear just which way she was leaning.   
  
“Both,” Kara answered honestly, her voice just barely above a whisper. She shook her head to show that she had reached the end of what she knew for sure. She needed more time to untangle the mess of feelings and regret that had twisted up into a knot that she was still examining it from every angle looking for the best place to start.

"This is my surprised face," Alex said completely deadpan, reaching out across the table to give Kara's arm an affectionate squeeze. "What took you so long to figure it out?"

“I don’t know... When I finally told Lena that I was Supergirl, I felt so relieved when I thought she wasn't angry with me and I started to think that without that secret there that things could change... I didn't even know I wanted them to and then after what happened in the Fortress... I didn't want to admit to myself that I wanted there to be more because losing my best friend was horrible enough... I couldn't handle losing more than that and now I don't know what to do."   
  
“I don’t know either,” Alex answered honestly. “I’m still trying to wrap my head around you having feelings for Lena.” She didn't look thrilled at this revelation, no matter how much she might have suspected it to be true and Kara knew that Alex still hadn't forgiven Lena.  
  
“Join the club,” Kara said glumly, wiping away a tear. Things were complicated enough already and this new development or at least one that Kara was now willing to acknowledge just made things so much more difficult.    


* * *

Diana had been in the middle of what Lena thought was a highly amusing story about a mission to Nanda Parbat that her and Bruce had been on together when Bruce dug a ringing cell phone out of his pocket and answered it. Lena could just make out the voice on the other end and knew that it could only be Alfred who didn't sound at all happy to be interrupting what Lena knew was a very rare night out for Bruce that didn't involve him wearing his _other_ suit.    
  
“Something wrong, Bruce?” Diana asked.

  
“I need to take this,” he said apologetically, holding one hand over the mouthpiece of his cell phone. “I might be a little while, it’s Alfred.” He got up from the table and crossed the room surprisingly quickly making a beeline for the front of the restraunt where it was a lot less noisy.   
  
“He never takes a day off, does he?” Lena said, not sure whether to be impressed or concerned.  


"None of us do, but Bruce puts us all to shame." She looked at his empty chair for a moment before turning her attention back to Lena. "I know that he trained you but I do hope that you don't emulate him too closely, Lena. Sometimes he forgets that there's a man under the cowl." She sounded reproachful but Lena did notice that she was smiling. _He might be an idiot but he's her idiot,_ Lena thought.  


Lena nodded. "Alfred said the same thing to me." He had said it in that slightly exasperated tone that he always seemed to take when talking about Bruce but there was pain lurking just below the surface and Lena thought behind Diana's smile she could see that same pain there lurking just beneath the surface.

"Yes," Diana said and she chuckled to herself. "Alfred wants what’s best for Bruce and Bruce wants what’s best for everyone else. It’s a miracle that they get along as well as they do,” she joked.    
  
“It must be hard,” Lena said, looking guilty. “Finding time to date when I’ve been taking up most of Bruce’s evenings for the past several months… I’ve been meaning to apologize to the both of you about that.”   
  
“You have nothing to apologize for, Lena,” Diana said quickly. “Bruce is _always_ busy with something. And,” she said, catching Lena’s eye and smiling, “we still found plenty of time to date. Maybe a few dates too many underground but still…” She looked at Lena inquisitively, her head tilted at a slight angle. “What about you, Lena? Any special someone in your life?”   
  
“No,” she said and shook her head emphatically to drive the point home. “Nobody special. This is the first time I’ve been out to an actual restaurant with anybody in…” How long had it been? She had dinner with Sam a few times but that had always been at her apartment with Ruby. “Months,” she said, sounding just a little surprised at how long it had really been. “Ever since I moved here, I guess…”   


"Does that mean there  _ was  _ someone special?” Diana asked. “In National City?”   
  
_ Yes.  _

“No… There was someone that I thought  _ could  _ have been something like that once…” Lena shook her head. “I was wrong,” she said, trying to keep her tone light, not wanting to put a damper on the evening or to dredge up memories that she had worked very hard to bury as deeply as she could get them. “My family’s reputation precedes itself, as I’m sure you know. It’s hard to get people to look past that. If the people of Metropolis knew that a Luthor was going to be stalking their rooftops at night they’d probably have nightmares.”  _ I just thought that Kara was different,  _ she thought, a part of her brain still trying to decipher just why Kara would want to vocalize her disapproval of her perceived dating choices.    
  


“They’ll sleep better knowing that there’s someone else looking out for them,” Diana corrected her. “Even Superman can’t be everywhere at once.”   
  
“I hope they do,” Lena said, smiling. “All I’ve ever wanted to be was good. I’ve always been stuck in my family’s shadow. I actually moved to National City for a fresh start and to try and use my family’s company to help people." She sighed. "Lex's predelictions always leaned towards destruction. I thought that working with Supergirl was my chance to do that. But I think the only reason she wanted me around was so she could keep tabs on me. Very cunning of her..." The smile on her face wavered and Lena glanced away, pretending to watch another couple a few tables over who was in deep conversation with one another. “And if Supergirl can’t see the good in you… Making sure you wear a helmet that covers your face completely when you design your suit seems like a good idea,” she snarked.    
  
Diana looked at her reproachfully and pointed at her. “It’s still you underneath, Lena. Never forget that and don’t ever get too comfortable in it.” She smiled warmly at her. “No matter how good you might look in it.”    
  
Lena burst out into a fit of laughter that drew the attention of the tables surrounding their own and she hastily covered her mouth. “I’ll try my best,” she said. “Scout’s honor.” She craned her neck to glance over at Bruce who was still pacing in the front of the restaurant and leaned in across the table closer to Diana, keen to both change the subject and lighten the mood. “I have to know though, who made the first move?” Lena asked.   
  
“I thought that would be obvious,” Diana said, the expression on her face making it clear she was only answering that way to draw out the suspense. 

* * *

  
“Are you  _ trying  _ to sneak up on me, Sam?”   
  
“Trying  _ and  _ failing,” she said, stepping into her office, peering around Lena’s office. “Did you see me on the security feed?”    
  
“Maybe next time don’t try to sneak up on me in heels.” Lena closed her laptop and looked up to find Sam holding an envelope out to her. “What’s this?”   
  
“Open it and find out.”   
  
“If this is a subpoena you’re going to ruin my Friday, Sam.”   
  
“I’d at least buy you flowers before I hit you with one of those.”    
  
Lena slid her finger along the seam of the envelope and looked blankly at the colorful greeting card that came sliding out before she was finally able to connect the dots. “It’s my birthday. I completely forgot.”    
  
“I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume it was a ‘not wanting to get older kind of thing’ rather than an ‘I’m so busy that I forgot my own birthday thing’.”    
  
“A little bit of both, Lena snarked, opening the card and smiling at the short message scribbled there, recognizing it at once as Ruby’s handwriting.” It wasn’t the first time that she had forgotten her birthday. Before she had come to National City, it had never been anything other than a day she was forced to suffer through a phone call with her mother.  It was only recently that she associated it with anything good.  
  
“That's a birthday card slash invitation, by the way. What day works best for your birthday dinner? Saturday or Sunday?”    
  
Lena set the card up on the corner of her desk where a picture of her and Kara used to be straightening it needlessly. “Sam, it’s really not a big deal and dinner might be difficult,” she said carefully.   
  
“Of course it is,” Sam said holding out her right hand and examining her nails, almost looking bored. “But you like difficult. No, that’s not quite right. You like impossible. All I know is that you’re not spending your birthday shut up in your office or God forbid in Gotham."   
  
“Last night was my last trip to Gotham for a while,” Lena said.    
  
“Good. Maybe now you’ll let yourself get a little more sleep. And I still don't see why you were the one that had to fly out there every time."  


  
_ That doesn’t seem very likely…  _ She looked at her calendar, already knowing that it was technically empty. She had no business obligations and no appointments or friends to speak of, save for the one standing in front of her desk trying her damndest to make sure that Lena didn’t end up alone on her birthday… “My birthday is Saturday,” she said.   
  
“I know that,” Sam said, sounding amused. “I’m just glad you remembered.”   
  
“So let’s meet Saturday then, but whatever you have planned, even if it’s pizza on your couch, it’s too much, Sam.” She ran a hand through her hair and looked up at her. “Just the fact that you want to spend time with me is enough.”    
  
“You make it sound like you’re some pariah that I’ve decided to grace with my presence."   
  
“Well… If the shoe fits,” Lena said, a small smile on her lips.    
  
“I’m not the only one who wants to spend time with you on your birthday,” Sam said pointedly.    
  
“If you’re talking about my mother,” Lena said, her smile curling into a look of disgust. "She only wants to see me to make sure that even my birthday is miserable."   
  
“You know who I mean,” Sam said, meeting Lena’s gaze for a moment. “Saturday at six. For every minute you’re late, Ruby and I add another verse to the birthday song,” she said threateningly. “Spoiler alert, it gets a little risque around verse fifteen.”   
  
“Well, now I have to at least be fifteen minutes late.”    
  
“Since it’s your birthday,” Sam said, taking a step back towards her office door. “You know... That big Metropolis apartment that I can afford on my CEO salary is a hell of a lot bigger than my old place.”   
  
Lena blinked. “Please don’t tell me that you’re turning into a yuppie, Sam. I have to be around enough spoiled rich people, I don’t want to have to be friends with one.”   
  
“Give me a little credit." Sam shook her head, looking disappointed. “I just meant that I could always invite some other people over if you felt up to more company…”   
  
“Like who?”Lena laughed. “It’s a birthday dinner, not a roast.”   
  
“Jess,” she said and nodded in the secretary’s direction.

  
“Jess? As if working for me isn’t bad enough for her you want to make her attend my birthday dinner?”    
  
“She likes you.” Sam looked over at her appraisingly. “You know how hard it is to find a secretary that’s not willing to sell you down the river when tabloids start sniffing around for dirt." She shrugged and tapped a finger against her chin. "But if not her, what about Kara?”   
  
Lena sighed and glanced out the window, her gaze automatically settling on the building of The Daily Planet. “I don’t think that's a good idea, Sam.”    
  
“Then just us three then,” Sam said quickly. “Wouldn’t want Kara singing Happy Birthday to you anyway, it would only make me sound even more off-key.” She smiled a bit sadly at Lena, held up the documents she had clutched in her hand, waved, and set off, her heels clicking away, leaving Lena to her thoughts.    
  
“Don’t be late!” she yelled from the elevator her voice carrying all the way through Lena’s closed office door.    
  


* * *

  
  
Looking at crime statistics, Metropolis was one of the safer cities to live in. It was right at the top, nearly neck and neck with Central City but not even Superman had been able to reduce crime to zero. There were a variety of factors that Lena had pinpointed as to why during her research.  


One, no matter how fast Superman was, he couldn’t be everywhere at once, and with far larger emergencies often demanding his attention, it simply wasn’t feasible to expect him to do everything on his own. Two, both as a result of Superman’s presence in the city and the sheer number of metahumans that put Metropolis in their crosshairs, the police in Metropolis were reluctant to even try or unable to adequately do more than wait for Superman to swoop in and save the day. And three, just like everywhere else in the world, people had a tendency to fall through the cracks. There wasn’t much she could do for them while out prowling Metropolis’ rooftops but there was something she could do as Lena Luthor.    
  
Lena had learned more from Bruce than just how to throw a punch and escape a pair of handcuffs. He had taught her just how much more she could be doing with her money when it came to investing it back in the city and its people. She had the workings of a promising urban renewal project that would better prepare the city to weather a future attack from a particularly destructive metahuman and ensure that none of the communities that sprung up in different areas of the cities were forced apart. She knew what a fine line she walked in enacting such a project and was therefore in no rush to move ahead with it until she had time to examine it from every angle.    
  
The proposal she was in the middle of would need to go through several revisions before it reached a point where she would be ready to put it into action but with her duties at L-Corp’s day to day business shrunk down to a minimum she had nothing but time to focus her attention where she thought it was most needed. She had just pulled up a map of the city on her computer when another screen pushed its way to the forefront.    
  
For a brief moment, it showed dozens of security feeds from cameras all over the city before focusing on one in particular. The footage was grainy but it was easy enough to make out the smashed window of a storefront but little else.  _ A smash and grab in Metropolis? If they’re smart they’ll be in and out as fast as they can.  _ If Superman happened to be within earshot (which for all Lena knew, might be half the city) they would be apprehended long before she would get there. Not that it deterred her in the slightest. She made a note of the address, slipping the ring off of her finger and reaching down to grab the baton propped up against the side of her desk. 

  
As her suit knitted itself together, she stepped out onto the balcony, hardly noticing how bitterly cold the wind had become. She ran towards the balcony’s edge even before the suit had completely formed around her, leaping out over the edge with all the grace of a high diver. Even after jumping off rooftops in Gotham for nearly three months, she still felt that terrible sense of dread that came with falling seize her tightly, only relinquishing its hold after she had dove three stories down and grappled her way lower, slowing her descent slightly.    
  
How many robberies and would-be purse snatches had she put a stop to in Gotham? She had lost count after a few dozen or so. But those had all been under the watchful (and judgmental) eye of Bruce. Who always had at least a few things for her to work on and improve for the next time. Sloppy landing, telegraphed movements, not following through with her strikes… Sometimes she wondered if it would have been easier for him to tell her what she had done  _ right.  _ He may have been a harsh teacher but he had been a good one, maybe one of the best that Lena ever had and as she sat perched on a rooftop overlooking the jewelry store that had become the unlucky target of the thieves inside she found herself hoping that he had been right in believing that she was ready to do this alone.    
  
A quick scan of the store revealed four inside and further down the street about a block away she spotted what she assumed was a fifth sitting in an idling car. His erratic heartbeat made it clear just how nervous he was, no doubt waiting for the signal to swing by and pick them up once the job was done. Maybe not the world’s stupidest criminals but far from the smartest. They _did_ have the sense to cut the alarm at least which Lena remedied by reactivating it remotely before dropping down to the street below. 

_ Average response time of police in Metropolis, fifteen minutes. Plenty of time… _ she told herself.    
  
Keeping to the shadows she crept around to the back and jimmied open the back door as silently as she could. Slipping inside she saw the dancing beam of a flashlight as it jittered across the opposite wall and could hear the sound of breaking glass and the clatter of rings and jewelry, no doubt being swept into bags as quickly and efficiently as possible.    
  
The sound of muted laughter floated back to her and she couldn’t help but feel a modicum of pity for them as she crept up behind one standing guard far from the display cases, tasked with keeping watch. With his back turned to her she recognized the difference in their height, kicked his legs out from under him, and quickly pulled him into a body lock wrapping her right arm tightly around his neck pulling him into a chokehold.    
  
“What was that?” A voice called from the darkness, the beam of a flashlight sweeping over  both of them.  
  
_ Too damn sloppy.  _ She felt the man’s body begin to go limp and immediately let go, rolling back onto her feet just in time to look up just in time to see one of the thieves step back, gun raised.  _ What the hell were you planning to do if it was Superman?  _ She held out her baton, letting it extend out, and caught the thief on the chin before knocking his gun away sending it skittering across the floor.    
  
She rushed forward knowing she still had (at least for a little while longer) the element of surprise. Glass crunched underfoot, and she heard the unmistakable sound of gunfire. The shots went wide but Lena instinctively raised her arms up to protect her head the silvery bracers of her suit reflecting unsteady light in the darkness. Focused on disarming the shooter she aimed a blow at the hand holding the gun, knocking it clean from his hand and letting her staff clatter to the floor. She brought her hands together and produced a wire from her suit like a magician might. The wire was far thicker than what she used to grapple with. She threw it at him like one might a bolas and watched briefly as it wrapped around his arms, snaking around him and immobilizing him before turning her attention to the last thief. He had his flashlight clutched in one hand and a half-full sack of what had once been on display in the case behind him.    
  
“You’re not Superman,” he spluttered.    
  
“What gave me away?” She reached out her hand and recalled the staff back to her hand, thankful that she had already tested the magnetic connectors in her suit beforehand. The first time she had tried it she had nearly broken her hand. “Hands up.”   
  
She watched the hand holding the flashlight twitch before he dropped the sack he was holding to the ground and slowly raised his hand into the air, the flashlight still clutched tightly in his hand.    
  
_ Maybe not so stupid.  _ _  
_ _  
_ Once she had finished tying the men up and taking a quick appraisal of the damage to the store she stepped carefully through the broken storefront window, wondering how best to apprehend the getaway driver and was shocked to see him sitting on the curb next to-   
  
“Superman.”   
  
“You missed one,” he said, standing up and dusting himself off.    
  
“What do you think I was coming out here to do?” She got a better look at the would-be thief and was both shocked and more than a little saddened to see just how young he looked. “Did you just come here to swoop in and steal credit,” she snarked, “or were you worried I might screw things up?"   
  
Clark cleared his throat and gave Lena a sheepish kind of shrug. “Batman might have asked me if I would keep an eye on you seeing as it’s your first night out.”   
  
“A little more than an eye,” she said and pointed to the teenager sitting on the curb.   
  
“The police are about five minutes away,” Lena said, glancing in the direction of the approaching sirens. “You don’t mind sticking around for five more minutes do you?”   
  
“No,” Clark said, looking off into the distance. “I take it you don’t plan on sticking around then?” He turned back around to face Lena, only to find that he was talking to himself. “Not bad,” he said, smirking.

* * *

The rest of the night was quiet, the kind of night that was a rare occurrence in Gotham. Lena spent it getting better acquainted with the city. She had been back in Metropolis for nearly a year and so much of it was still so unfamiliar to her. That would need to change. Not just because she would need to know it like the back of her hand while out patrolling but because this was her home now. She had kept the memories of her time in National City tucked away not just to try and keep her heart from aching but to preserve them as well.  _ You need to let go,  _ she thought, scolding herself. 

Sitting back in her office chair, she returned the ring to her finger, watching her suit seemingly disappear, leaving her in the white printed blouse and slacks she had worn to work that day.  _ Need to start bringing a change of clothes to work,  _ she reminded herself, debating whether or not to return home to grab one or simply push through the day and hope nobody noticed she was wearing the same clothes as yesterday. Sam  _ might,  _ but she would also likely have enough tact not to mention it.    
  
She yawned, feeling as if the fatigue from bounding and swinging from building to building all over the city for half the night hit her all at once. She put her head down on her desk, using her arm as a makeshift pillow, and let her eyes fluttered close.  _ First night out and I didn’t kill myself. That has to count for something…  _ A small smile tugged at her mouth and she let her mind wander the way she always did before she slept, to wander to the one thing she spent most of the day trying not to think about. Kara.   
  
_ Would you be proud of me if you knew what I did tonight?  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some feels next chapter or your money back
> 
> Come ask me things: https://inkedroplets.tumblr.com/


	11. Many Happy Returns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"Put off that mask of burning gold  
>  With emerald eyes."  
> "O no, my dear, you make so bold  
> To find if hearts be wild and wise,  
> And yet not cold."_
> 
> _"I would but find what's there to find,  
>  Love or deceit."  
> "It was the mask engaged your mind,  
> And after set your heart to beat,  
> Not what's behind."_
> 
> _"But lest you are my enemy,  
>  I must enquire."  
> "O no, my dear, let all that be;  
> What matter, so there is but fire  
> In you, in me?"_
> 
> \- 'The Mask' By William Butler Yeats

As always when she was particularly busy, which for Lena was every day that happened to end in ‘y’, she had been tempted to forego lunch. Especially with a birthday dinner waiting for her, she had every excuse in the world to do so but had forced herself to type one-handed while she shoveled bites of salmon into her mouth. The last few mouthfuls of salad she had pecked at without really tasting it. Food had become less a creature comfort and morphed into another building block in her training regimen. 

Sometimes when a particularly strong craving for scones or God forbid, a cheeseburger hit, she felt immensely jealous of Kara’s metabolism. Neither would have killed her but it would have meant a little more time training and with her already overcrowded schedule she simply didn’t have the time for much else. 

When Lena’s phone jittered across her desk at L-Corp she reached for it without looking up from the spreadsheet on her screen. She was so sure that it was Sam calling to confirm that Lena wasn’t about to blow off her own Birthday dinner that she answered it without checking to see who was calling.  
  
“I didn’t forget about dinner,” she said, tapping away at her keyboard before looking up at the clock over her office door. “If you wanted my written RSVP-”   
  
“Happy Birthday.”   
  
“Bruce… Thank you.” She pushed her chair back a bit from her desk and swiveled her chair around to face the city. “You didn’t need to call though, it’s just a birthday. One I didn’t tell you about, by the way,” she snarked.   
  
“Diana would have liked to at least call you but she’s on a mission in Markovia. I’m sure she’ll want to get together when she’s a little less-”   
  
“Undercover?”   
  
“Something like that. I wanted to call to wish you a Happy Birthday and to tell you to take the night off.”   
  
“What’s the saying? A birthday, not a break?”   
  
“Barring a catastrophe I think that Metropolis will keep for an evening.”   
  
“That’s a wonderful Alfred impersonation, Bruce. You could take that on the road if you wanted.” She smiled and realized a moment later that it was the first time she had done so today. “I’m having dinner with a friend tonight. If everything is quiet afterward…”   
  
“I’m sure it will be.”   
  
“Then I’ll take the night off.” If it were Diana calling, Lena was sure that she would have been able to convince her to take the night off, no ifs ands or buts. Bruce, on the other hand, didn't have much sway in that department. He _was_ her mentor but she had learned maybe too well from him and the old, ‘do as I say, not as I do’ proverb didn’t hold much water in Lena’s book. 

“Alfred’s going to give you hell the next time he sees you.”  
  
“Wholly deserved,” Lena said, her smile widening. “Tell him I said hello.”   
  
“I will. You can tell him yourself in a few weeks.”   
  
“Looking forward to it. The tea, not the incredibly painful training that follows.”   
  
“All the more reason to enjoy your birthday. Have a good evening, Lena.”   
  
“I’d tell you to do the same… But knowing you it might be better to tell you to be careful.” On that somewhat snarky note, she ended the call, setting her phone aside. She checked the clock to make sure that she hadn’t lost track of time like she so often did when she was working and pulled her keyboard closer to her intent on picking up where she left off but paused when she heard footsteps approaching.   
  
She wasn’t the only one to come into work on a Saturday, in fact, several of the floors were buzzing with people either rushing to meet deadlines or trying to get ahead of another one but she couldn’t remember the last time that anyone had actually come up to her office without making an appointment first. _Well… Except for Kara,_ a voice so helpfully reminded her. There was a featherlight knock on her door before it opened just a crack.   
  
“Miss Luthor?”   
  
“Come in,” Lena said, a note of surprise in her voice. “What are you doing here on your day off, Jess?”   
  
Jess opened the door just enough to sidle through and held up a small gift bag in front of her. “I forgot to give this to you on Friday and I was going to wait until Monday and give it to you then but I know how many Saturdays you work and I thought I would swing by the office. If you weren’t here I was just going to leave it on your desk.”   
  
“Jess… You _really_ didn’t have to get me anything.” Lena stood up. “I didn’t even tell you it was my birthday.”   
  
“Secretary,” she said and gave a very small shrug. “It’s really nothing,” she said. She handed Lena the gift bag and gestured for her to open it.   
  
It’s _not_ nothing,” Lena assured her, reaching into the bag and pulling out a book. “Yeats…”   
  
“I hope you don’t have it already, but if you do the receipt is tucked inside.”   
  
“I don’t,” Lena said. She stepped out from behind her desk and hesitated. A handshake seemed too formal and a hug seemed a bit too friendly but when Lena awkwardly reached out an arm, Jess pulled her into a very brief but friendly hug.   
  
“Yeats is a personal favorite of mine.” She bit her lip and gestured to the book. “Some of his poems really helped me when I had a pretty bad breakup a while back.” She cleared her throat and it was easy to tell from her face that there was likely some lingering hurt there that still remained.   
  
“I’m so sorry to hear that, Jess.”   
  
She shook her head. “I’m doing a lot better now. To be honest, I kind of have you to thank for that.”   
  
“How so?” Lena asked, a bit perplexed at how she could have helped.   
  
“When you decided to move L-Corp back to Metropolis, it couldn’t have come at a better time. I needed time away from my ex and what better place to do that than a new city… You even gave me a raise,” she joked.   
  
Lena smiled. “I was very lucky to keep you on, Jess.” She had been lucky to keep everyone at L-Corp who had decided to stay. True, some were original transplants from Metropolis that were just coming home again but many were folks from National City that had decided to make the move, the least she could have done was compensate them properly.   
  
Jess pointed to the book. “I put some sticky notes on some of my favorites,” she said. “They might help you too…”   
  
_Help me?_   
  
Jess immediately waved her hand out in front of her. “Not that I’m trying to be a busybody,” Jess assured her, looking more like she was trying to convince herself of that than Lena. “It’s just, I know how hard it can be getting over someone especially on your birthday.” Her face scrunched up and it was easy to tell that she very much regretted venturing down this particular path.   
  
Lena gawked at her for a moment, feeling as if their conversation had diverged a while back and she was only just now realizing it. It took a while for understanding to flood through her like electricity through a freshly completed circuit and figure out that Jess could only be talking about Kara. And was it really so surprising that she got the wrong idea about them considering the lengths that Lena had gone to avoid Kara? Refusing phone calls and appointments with her out of the blue when they used to eat lunch together almost daily? From an outsider’s perspective, it wasn’t such a huge inductive leap to think that the two were more than friends.

She very quickly shook her head eager to set the record straight but not quite wanting to unpack all the hurt that came with explaining (or trying to explain) what the two were to one another, especially when Lena herself wasn’t so sure what (if anything) had ever existed between them. “This is so sweet, Jess…” She thumbed through the book, taking note of a few pages earmarked with colorful page markers.   
  
“I’m glad you like it. I wasn’t sure if I should have just gotten you a gift card.”   
  
Lena chuckled. “I would have liked that too but this is so thoughtful. Thank you.” She set the book carefully down on her desk and glanced back up at the clock on the wall. “ _Surely_ you have somewhere better to be than at work on a Saturday,” Lena teased.   
  
“I could say the same thing, and on your birthday of all days.” Her tone was light and more than a little playful but still reserved. Neither she nor Lena had tried to cross the boundary of boss and employee although Jess had made the first step by buying Lena such a thoughtful birthday gift.   
  
“I’m having dinner with Sam tonight,” Lena said.   
  
“Miss Arias?”   
  
Lena nodded. “You’re welcome to join if you’re free. What person wouldn’t want to spend their evening with your boss and the CEO?” she snarked.   
  
“I would really like that,” Jess said, but my folks are in town to visit.” She sighed. “I love them to pieces,” she said quickly. “It’s just, two days together is about all I can stand before we’re at each other’s throats. You should have seen the tip my mom tried to leave for breakfast this morning.” She winced at the memory and shook her head vigorously as if that might help get rid of it quicker.   
  
“I think the Luthor record is about ten minutes although we _are_ the gold standard for dysfunctional families.” She thought even that was a bit of an understatement considering Lex’s megalomania and the simple fact that Lena had been the one to kill him but enough of their family’s dirty laundry had been aired without Lena needing to go around digging up one of the many skeletons banging around in the Luthor closet to prove a point.   
  
“They fly back tomorrow afternoon. I think I can stay sane until then.” She crossed the fingers on her left hand and held them up. “I hope you have a really nice birthday dinner though, Miss Luthor.”   
  
“Please, call me Lena. Anyone who gets me a thoughtful birthday gift gets to call me Lena,” she joked.   
  
Jess looked unsure, the same way someone who’s extra cautious might not cross the street before looking both ways (twice). “I hope you have a really nice birthday dinner, Lena.” She waved and despite being dressed far more casually than Lena had ever seen her, slipped out of her office in the same way she sometimes did when showing guests into her office.   
  
Lena waved once when Jess turned around before reaching the elevators before sitting back down at her desk. It’s the book that grabbed her attention instead of the half-empty spreadsheet that she had been so occupied with before Bruce’s unexpected phone call. Leaning back in her chair she found the first page that Jess had marked, peeled away the colored page marker, and began to read.   
  


* * *

Kara's first instinct upon waking up was to reach for her phone and send Lena a text. Not so different from any morning but it wasn’t just any morning, it was Lena’s birthday. A day that she would normally spend weeks if not months preparing for in advance. Planning a party, baking a cake, and picking out the perfect gift took time, or it would have if Kara had done it this year.   
  


Instead, she was at her desk at The Daily Planet, putting in work on an article that was for all intents and purposes already done. She hadn’t needed to work a Saturday since starting here and if Perry knew she was tinkering with an article that didn’t need it he would curse a blue streak but the most she had done in all her time hunched over her desk was run the spellcheck. She had spent most of her time staring out the window at the L-Corp building thinking back on Lena’s last birthday.   
  
There had been a party in the evening but Kara had stopped by L-Corp on Lena’s lunchbreak with a bag of Big Belly Burger and a small cake that she had stayed up half the night baking and decorating. The picture they had taken right before devouring it with their cheeks pressed close together that had been on her desk at CatCo had found its way onto her desk at The Planet. It along with all the other pictures she had tucked away in a box under her bed when the wound of losing Lena had been too fresh had slowly but surely returned to their original places in her apartment. It still hurt looking at them but it hurt more keeping them tucked away.   
  
Kara turned the photo closer to her and sighed.   
  
“You really do have it bad, don’t you?”   
  
“Alex?!” Kara looked up, surprised to see Alex standing a few feet away observing her with a look of extreme sympathy, her arms crossed over her chest. “What are you doing here?”   
  
“Dropping in on you,” she said, pulling a chair from the neighboring desk and sitting down in it. “Way more impressive thing to do when I had to fly out to do it. When you called yesterday and said you had some work you needed to do I thought you might like some company…”   
  
“I _am_ working,” Kara said, turning her screen towards Alex, not quite able to meet her inquisitive gaze. It wasn’t an outright lie but it was far closer to it than it was the truth.   
  
“I can see that,” Alex said, looking at the picture of Kara and Lena on the desk and back at Kara.   
  
Kara followed the path of her gaze, seemed to deflate somewhat, and threw away what tiny shred of deniability she might have been able to cling to and sighed. “It’s Lena’s birthday today.”

“I know,” Alex said. “I remembered too… We all did. You didn’t check the group chat, did you?”

Kara shook her head. She had watched her phone do the Charleston across her desk earlier but she hadn’t actually picked it up. She had gotten very good at that when she had been avoiding everyone. Not answering her phone, not responding to texts, and after a while leaving their group chat entirely. She was doing better now, talking with Alex daily, and while not always privy to every inside joke that was shared because she spent the majority of her days in Metropolis she still participated regularly in their group chat. But it was worrying how easy it had been to slip into that bad habit again, but Kara supposed that’s what made them bad in the first place.   
  
“We all remembered.” It was Alex’s turn to sigh. She pulled her chair closer to Kara’s and tilted the photo on Kara’s desk a bit to get a better look at it. “I know that we don’t talk about Lena anymore. It’s partly for your benefit-”   
  
“I know,” Kara said quickly. It hadn’t taken her very long to figure out that her friends had all agreed to a moratorium on the topic of Lena Luthor.   
  
“-but it’s also for ours as well. I’m still mad at Lena for what she did to you at the Fortress but I hate knowing how much we hurt her by keeping her in the dark… We all do. I know that things are a little more complicated for you…”   
  
Kara’s cheeks flushed scarlet and she bowed her head, thankful that the only other person that had come in to work on a Saturday other than her had gone out for lunch. “Complicated,” she repeated, not quite scoffing but definitely close to it. “You mean the whole working in Metropolis while living in National City or being in love with my best friend? _Ex_ -best friend,” she forced herself to say out loud. That wasn’t the designation Kara would have given Lena but it was definitely the one Lena would have given Kara.

“Yeah,” Alex said, reaching out and putting a hand on her knee. “All of that. I do know one of those things we could fix though.” She leaned over and grabbed Kara’s phone off her desk. “Call Perry. Let’s go look at that apartment.”  
  


* * *

  
  
The phone call with Perry was a brief one and he still sounded cataclysmically busy even on a Saturday but relieved that Kara might finally make her change of address permanent. He asked a lot of his staff but commuting between Metropolis and National City seemed to be his limit. A few minutes after that, there’s a text message that is short and to the point: _Bill will meet you there, 344 Sullivan Lane, Apartment 4D. He’ll be the old guy in the Metropolis Monarchs cap._

Bill turned out to be a lot like Perry not just in body type but in temperament, so much so that Kara called him Perry once during the walkthrough, something that he seemed to take in stride while he pointed out everything that might catch her eye for good or bad, nearly the textbook definition of a straight shooter.   
  
The pictures that Kara had seen of the place really didn’t do it justice. It was a bit of an upgrade from her old place and in Metropolis that meant all the difference in the world between affordable and only in her wildest dreams and with how cheap it was, Kara might actually be able to build back up her savings that she had demolished during her brief stint of unemployment.   
  
“Neighbors might be a little noisy,” he said, cocking an eye toward the ceiling almost looking like _he_ had X-ray vision. “Not much I can do about that but the neighborhood is nice enough and most everything here is brand spanking new.” He waved his hand like he was trying to give a car the go-ahead to pass him. “Tenants had a family emergency that needed taking care of. Don’t know if it will be forever but the sublet is for a year and if they’re not back by then you can rent it outright. Price would need to be adjusted a bit then but that’s a long way away and a lot can change in a year.”   
  
_Yes, it can,_ Kara thought. _Rao, you don’t need to tell me._ How could she have known just how much could change in such a short amount of time? How much that it was still changing… “Can I have a minute to talk to my sister before I give you anything close to an answer?” she asked.   
  
“Take five,” he said generously and rubbed the back of his head. “I should call home anyway, ask if they want me to pick anything up on the way home.” He rolled his eyes, doing one slow, languid rotation. “There’s always something,” he muttered, stalking off to the other room while he reached in his pocket to yank his smartphone free.   
  
“Kara? What’s up?” Alex asked. “Do you not like the place?” She shook her head. “I’ve done a little bit of research on my own and you’re going to have a hard time doing any better than this.”   
  
“I like it just fine,” Kara said. She cast another look around the kitchen and didn’t need to try very hard to imagine baking cookies there or hunched over the stove after a very long day making a very hasty dinner before curling up on the couch and falling asleep to whatever she found on TV. Except for one brief moment, she saw herself pulling a cake from the oven and setting it down in front of Lena who was sitting at the head of the table, looking at her with the kind of smile that Kara realized not long after Lena had left for Metropolis she had taken for granted. _I thought you would always smile at me like that…_   
  
“Do you think I’m crazy?”   
  
Alex looked at her, confused. “For potstickers? Because if that’ what you're asking, then I’m afraid that the answer is most definitely yes,” she snarked.   
  
“Crazy for getting a job here and crazy for looking for apartments, crazy for everything I’ve done since Lena moved away.” She had begun to pace from the living room to the kitchen, hands wringing together nervously. “Crazy Kara Danvers,” she said, gesturing the way one might when trying to come up with a snappy headline.   
  
“Catchy,” Alex said, “but not at all true.” She caught Kara’s hand in hers before she swept back around to pace in the other direction and squeezed her hand to get her to stop. “You are _not_ crazy.” She shrugged and pulled Kara into a hug. “You’re in love,” she said with all the seriousness that came with delivering very bad news. “Which is way, way worse,” she joked. She clapped a hand to Kara’s shoulder. “Take the apartment. Give your poor sister a place to lay her weary head when she comes all the way out here to see you instead of having you fly me back home.”   
  
“Made up your mind yet?” Bill asked, walking back into the living room, still stowing his phone back in the pocket of his jeans as he did. “You need more time, that's fine with me, but I don’t know if I can give you another tour… Might just have to-”

“I’ll take it,” Kara said, glancing over at Alex for final confirmation and when she gave Kara a small nod Kara did the same.  
  
“Good deal,” he said and clapped his hands together. “I’ll be honest, priced to move like it was, if you didn’t take it, I could have walked out on the street and found a buyer before too long but I did owe Perry a favor. _Owed,_ ” he amended and grinned showing off one gold crown near the back of his mouth. “Lemme go rooting around for the papers I need you to sign.”   
  
“Can we stay here tonight?” Kara asked.   
  
Bill shrugged, opening up drawers and shutting them again. “I don’t see why not, once you sign the place is yours. Everything is in apple-pie order. Might want to give the sheets a turn but there should be some in the linen closet. No food in the fridge either,” he said, poking his head out for just a moment before disappearing into one of the other rooms in his hunt for the sublease agreement.

Twenty minutes later, Kara had signed on the dotted line (several of them) and could officially call herself a resident of Metropolis. When she texted Perry that she had agreed to take the place he had texted her back one word: _Hallelujah._

Sitting around the table with Alex while they brainstormed a rudimentary grocery list, Kara’s good mood was somewhat short-lived when she reached in her purse for a pen and her hand brushed against the letter she had written the night before… She yanked her hand out of her purse as if she had touched something hot.  
  
“You alright?” Alex asked.   
  
“No pen,” she said, looking out the window behind Alex at the L-Corp building in the distance. 

* * *

  
  
For all of Sam’s worrying and the near-unending barrage of text messages from Sam, Lena wasn’t late. In fact, she arrived ten minutes early. When she knocked on the door to Sam’s apartment it flew open only a few seconds later and Lena was pulled into a hug.   
  
“Happy birthday, Aunt Lena!” Ruby had on a party hat that Lena thought kids her age would not be caught dead wearing unless they were wearing it ironically but she had adjusted it so that it sat on a jaunty angle on her head.   
  
“Thank you! Look at you,” Lena said, holding Ruby by the shoulders. “You’re taller every time I see you.”   
  
Ruby rolled her eyes and shook her head vigorously. “You’re one of my cool aunts,” she said reproachfully. “If you say things like that I’m going to have to reconsider.”   
  
Lena placed a hand on her chest. “Perish the thought. You really are getting tall though,” she said. “I’ll just find less folksy ways of pointing it out.”   
  
“Or you could stop by more often,” Sam suggested. She was wearing a pinstripe apron over an oversized black sweater t and had her hair done up in a messy bun. She pulled Lena into a quick one-armed hug which Lena was happy to return. “Although,” she said, looking suddenly distrustful, “you are looking a little taller since breakfast…”   
  
Ruby rolled her eyes again and held out a party hat to Lena. “It’s not going to mess up your hair, is it?”   
  
_No more than a helmet does…_   
  
“I think I’ll live,” Lena said, taking it from her and fitting the strap around her chin. She caught a glimpse of her reflection in the grandfather clock by the wall and felt a teensy bit ridiculous, remedying it by fixing her hat at the same angle as Ruby’s.   
  
“Might need to revoke your status as a fashionista,” Sam said. “But it is your birthday.”   
  
“I did most of the cooking,” Ruby said, pointing at Sam. “Mom was on dish duty.”   
  
“Which she’s taken full advantage of.”   
  
“Ruby, you didn’t need to cook. You didn’t need to do anything,” Lena said, Since arriving, she had begun the arduous task of tallying up the number of times she had turned down or canceled dinner plans with Sam (and by extension, Ruby) and landed somewhere north of fifty. That was bad enough but here they were throwing her a birthday party…   
  
“I _like_ to cook, Aunt Lena,” Ruby reminded her. “And it’s your birthday.” She batted a hand at the air making the resemblance with Sam become for a moment incredibly striking. A timer buzzed from in the kitchen and Ruby went bounding there, leaping over the coffee table to do it.   
  
“She’s going to crack her head open one of these days,” Sam muttered, untying her apron and glancing back at the kitchen. It looked like she was readying herself to start up that infernal nag machine that all parents had installed on day one but clamped her mouth shut instead, probably for Lena’s sake.   
  
“I just wish that Kara and Alex could have come,” Ruby called from the kitchen.   
  
Lena’s smile wavered a bit, aware that Sam was watching her and adjusted the party hat on her head, doing it with far too much care to look natural.   
  
“Ruby knows you aren’t talking,” Sam said quickly, apologetically. “She doesn’t know how bad it is. You know how kids fight. Hating each other one minute and then by morning it’s all water under the bridge.”   
  
_If only it was that simple,_ Lena thought. If there had ever even been a bridge, Lena was certain that after all that happened between the two of them, they had blown it up into itty-bitty pieces. She gave a very quick shake of her head. “It’s fine.” It’s a lie, it hadn’t been fine for a long time but it’s a lie that Lena’s told herself so many times that it might not actually set off Sam’s bullshit radar. 

“Jess came by to see me,” Lena said, keen to give the conversation a push far away from Kara and everyone else back in National City.   
  
“Did she? Sam asked, not looking all that surprised. “I told you that she likes you.” She tossed the apron over the arm of the couch before sitting down and patting the cushion next to her. “You should have invited her over for dinner. God knows that Ruby made more than enough food to go around. I think she was hoping…” She shook her head and backed off from that particular train of thought.   
  
“I _did_ invite her. She had plans already.”   
  
“Makes sense.” Sam let out an exaggerated sigh. “Do you remember when we were that young?” She looked up at the ceiling and had either really started to reminisce or was doing a very accurate impression of doing so, Lena couldn’t tell which.   
  
“I forget, whose birthday is it again?” Lena teased. “If anyone should be waxing poetically about their youth being firmly behind them it should be me. I think we can save the nostalgia basking for another decade at least.” 

“Birthday party today, pity party tomorrow,” Sam joked. “Did Jess come by to say happy birthday?”   
  
“She did... “ Lena said. “She even got me a present.”   
  
“That was sweet of her. What did she get you?”   
  
“A book of poetry. Yeats.”   
  
Sam nodded slowly. “I read some of his stuff in high school. Awfully sweet gift. Sure beats a gift card, at least.”   
  
“So did I.” She had read a lot more that afternoon before heading to Sam’s. It had done a much better job of keeping her mind occupied than her work had even if her thoughts kept returning to the one thing she _didn’t_ want to dwell on. Not every poem that Jess had earmarked for her had resonated completely with her but that was simply the nature of the art. What spoke to one didn’t always do the same for another. One of them had though and it was one that she had come back to read more than once. So many times, in fact, that she would have had no trouble reciting it then and there although she wouldn’t trust herself not to cry if she did and just like baseball, Lena didn’t think that tears belonged at a birthday party.   
  
“I happen to like gift cards,” Lena said, giving a little shrug.   
  
“You’re sadly out of luck this year, I’m afraid,” Sam teased, pointing at the gift wrapped in delicate silver paper on the table. “Maybe next year.”   
  
The timer in the kitchen bleated once before it stopped suddenly. “Dinner,” Ruby called, sticking her head out. “Do you want us to sing you happy birthday before or after, Aunt Lena?”   
  
“Neither?” Lena suggested as sweet as can be, standing up from the couch and smiling brightly at Ruby.   
  
“No such luck. We’ll sing after.”   
  


* * *

  
  
Dinner was a beautiful roast duck that according to Sam, Ruby had spent several days fussing over to get the skin just right. That along with roast potatoes and a kale salad so good that Lena thought that even Kara would have asked for seconds. Lena did. She might have tried for thirds if she hadn’t already obliterated her careful diet already.   
  
Full and a little sleepy, Lena had watched Sam and Ruby carry out a small cake adorned with a few too many candles than Lena was comfortable seeing. Listened while hiding her face as they sang Happy Birthday to her and blowing out all the candles on her cake. She wasn’t quite whimsical enough to believe in the magic of birthday wishes but one had sprung into her mind while she basked in the semi-darkness that enveloped them when all the candles had been blown out.   
  
Another hour later with an impressive amount of the cake demolished and Ruby dropping in the recliner in the living room, she had decided to tap out voluntarily instead of letting Sam be the one to suggest it. She had kissed Lena on the cheek and trudged to her bedroom only after Lena had promised that she would visit again soon. A promise that Lena fully intended to keep.   
  
Sam produced a bottle of riesling and after they each had two glasses, she reached clumsily for Lena’s present still on the table. “Ruby wrapped it,” she said, passing it over to Lena. “I tried to but evidently I cut the wrapping paper crooked.” She raised an eyebrow. “Ruby’s words, not mine. She had the same complaint about her Christmas presents from Santa a few years ago. I blamed it on a lazy elf.”   
  
“Passing the buck, now you’re sounding like a CEO.” Lena grinned, took the present, and shook her head. “Sam, this has been wonderful but it’s all too much.”   
  
“I think you have to open the present first before you say that.” Sam made an opening gesture with her hands.   
  
“You know what I mean.”   
  
“And you know what I mean. Open your present.” She drained her wine glass and splashed a bit more into her glass and into Lena’s. “It’s not much,” she warned.   
  
“A little late for that,” Lena said, ripping the wrapping paper off to reveal a handsome leather-bound journal and Montblanc pen. “Sam…”   
  
“It’s not easy shopping for a billionaire. If I had known you were so fond of gift cards I could have stopped by Big Belly Burger on my way home from work yesterday.”   
  
“Not easy being friends with them either,” Lena snarked. She raised her glass and drank half of it in one swallow, already feeling a little tipsy. “And now you know what to get me for next year.”   
  
“Well, it is hard when she’s impossible to make dinner plans with, but other than that…” Sam gave her a double thumbs-up, coming dangerously close to doing a Fonzie impersonation. “I thought you’d like a journal and a pen to write in said journal. Get some of those feelings out onto paper instead of getting all dusty in those itty-bitty boxes of yours. Or… You could always talk to me.”   
  
“What feelings would those be?” Lena asked as if she had never heard of such things. If only.   
  
“I’m not picky.” Sam raised her glass a little higher than she needed to. “Any old feelings that you’ve repressed deep down hoping they never see the silver light of day.”   
  
“You mean _all_ of them?”   
  
“Eventually, but we could start with whatever is going on between you and Kara… And everybody else back in National City.” She raised a finger to silence Lena before she even had a chance to open her mouth. “I don’t think it counts as prying when it's been months. Well… Maybe it is but I’d still like to know.”   
  
Lena sighed. “There’s nothing _to_ know, Sam.” She knew that could have been the end of it. Tonight wasn’t the first time that Sam had tried to coax some more details out of her and each time that Lena had put up a wall, Sam had backed up away from it and shot off in another direction without another word. She loved her for that, but Lena knew that she deserved more. She finished what remained in her glass and filled it again. 

“We had a fight,” Lena said, suddenly sounding far more tired than she really was. It was the drone of someone who had already told the same exact story countless times and already knew it backward and forwards, long since passing the point where they were able to interject any energy into it. “A big one.”   
  
“I sussed that out for myself.”   
  
Lena chuckled and shook her head. “I didn’t come to National City to make friends… I just wanted to do something good with my family’s company after everything that Lex had done. I wanted to make it something that could stand apart from the Luthor name. Connected but not related…” She smiled sadly and gave Sam a shy little bow. “I wanted to prove that I could build it into something good… That I could be good…   
  
“I think that I’m a pragmatist. I never thought it would be easy or that people wouldn’t hate me, question every single thing that I did.” She shrugged. “You get used to that after a while Just another person that you get to prove wrong,” she said, flashing Sam a very watery smile. She took one more tiny sip of her wine before setting it aside. Any more and she would risk losing her already tenuous hold that she had on her emotions that were keeping them in check.   
  
“When I met Kara… I did the same thing to her that I do to anybody that tries to get close.” Lena held up her index finger. “I brushed her off as politely as I could. That was always enough to scare anybody off that was looking to get something out of me or at least get them to change tactics… And Kara didn’t get the hint… Or maybe she did, but I told her straight out that I wasn’t looking for anything beyond a business relationship. I thought she understood then… But she kept trying to get close and every other instinct told me not to because that’s how I’ve always gotten hurt… Letting people in.” She gestured to Sam before glancing away. “Exception to the rule.”   
  
Sam said nothing, setting her own wine glass aside and sitting up a little straighter on the couch.   
  
“I thought that Kara was the first person that only ever saw me… Just me. Not Lena Luthor, just Lena…” She blushed, hoping that Sam would chalk it up to the wine, her right hand pressing against her cheek briefly. “But I was wrong. She never... “ Lena shook her head, trying to focus on her breathing instead of the ache in her chest. “She wasn’t the person I thought she was. She lied to me from the very start. I’ve been betrayed before,” she said, trying to force a smile onto her face, trying to make it look as if they were discussing something mundane like the weather and failing. “The betrayal hurts so much, even now but that’s not the worst part. The worst part is how _stupid_ I feel for ever thinking that she trusted me, ever hoping that…" She forced herself to swallow the hard lump that had formed in her throat. "It’s just so humiliating…” she said in a voice just barely above a whisper.

She took one more shuddering breath and clamped her mouth shut as if afraid of something secret spilling out. She dabbed at her eyes, closing the lid on the box she had opened, slamming it shut, and drawing her arms around herself. She felt Sam slide over on the couch, wrapping an arm around her, holding her tightly.   
  
“Hey,” she said, reaching for a tissue box on the coffee table and pushing it into Lena’s lap. “You’re okay,” she said soothingly.   
  
“Obviously,” Lena said, dabbing at her eyes, letting out a hollow laugh. “ _So_ okay.” She took a minute to wrench back control of herself, yanking the ship’s wheel in the other direction, and focused solely on her breathing for a time. “And when I found out that Kara was lying to me, I went out of my way to hurt her. I _did_ hurt her…. Not so much different than Lex,” she spat, wishing she could inform Sam of just how true that was, for her to understand just how much she hated herself for doing it.

“And then to get away from everything, in a totally unselfish move, I moved L-Corp back to Metropolis.” _And that’s not even scraping the surface of why I spent so much time in Gotham or how I’ve been spending my evenings… I’ll open that particular box another night…_   
  
“Well…” Sam said after several minutes of quiet. “I already figured out that you moved here because of Kara. To be honest…,” she said carefully. “I thought that you two might have been dating in secret and broken up.”   
  
“Oh God, not you too,” Lena said, reaching for another tissue as a precautionary measure.   
  
“Too?”   
  
“Jess… The book of poetry she gave me for my birthday. She said that it helped her get over a bad break up and hoped it would help me too. We were _definitely_ not dating. We were never even really friends, Sam.” She’s repeated this from time to time to herself, treating it like a cold splash of reality when she felt her resolve waver and she found herself missing Kara.   
  
“Maybe not,” Sam said carefully. The arm that had been looped around Lena tightly slackened and she reached into her pocket for her phone. “You would know better than me, I suppose. But it’s pretty obvious to me that you two care about each other.” She chewed on the inside of her cheek before unlocking her phone and tapping the small speech bubble icon at the bottom corner of her screen and showing Lena. “And I’ve got about a dozen texts from Kara since this morning, all of them to do with your birthday, so maybe, just maybe, you’re wrong about that.”

Lena felt her heart skip and she hated that she couldn’t stop herself from trying to get a better glimpse at Sam’s phone even while she pretended to not be interested. _Why do you care?_

Sam plucked both their wine glasses up off the coffee table and stood up on slightly wobbly legs. “Movie?” she asked. “Or if you’re tired, you’re welcome to take the bed, although I already know you won’t so I can make up the couch or if you’d feel more at home you can try sleeping at my desk in my office down the hall,” she joked.  
  
“As tempting as that sounds,” Lena said, standing up, her legs not wobbling quite as much as Sam’s had. “I think I’ll just head home.”   
  
“Because I made you cry on your birthday, “Sam said in a tone that sounded playful but the expression on her face was all business.   
  
“Definitely not the first birthday where I spent some of it in tears,” Lena admitted. “And this was one of the best birthdays I’ve ever had. Maybe not _this_ part,” she joked, “but everything else, Sam… You have no idea how much it means to me.” She jerked her head in the direction of Ruby’s room. “Dinner next week? My treat, give Ruby a chance to hang up her chef’s hat.”   
  
“I’m going to hold you to that,” Sam warned. She looked like she was trapped in a silent war with herself, likely debating whether or not to insist that Lena stay the night.   
  
“I’ll be fine,” Lena assured her. “I _am_ going home for once and that’s only a few blocks from here.”   
  
“And you’ll be there in no time after I call you a cab.”   
  
“You really are a mom,” Lena said, wrapping up Sam in a hug that she put her all into, her head resting briefly against Sam’s shoulder. “This is Metropolis,” Lena reminded her. “I’ll make it home just fine.” Superman might have been halfway around the world but Lena was confident she was more than able to take care of herself even if Murphy’s Law was in full effect that night. She had spent too many nights training with Bruce to worry about getting mugged.   
  
“Text me,” Sam said and pulled a face. “I guess that’s just a taster of what’s to come when Ruby’s a teenager. The worry,” she elaborated and took a step back. “You can get all the muscles you want, Lena, I’m still going to worry.” She patted at Lena’s bicep, gave a long exaggerated wolf whistle, and pretended to fan herself, very clearly on the verge of a laughing fit.   
  
“Well, I know one employee that will need to pay a visit to HR on Monday,” Lena teased, her eyes sparkling as she made a grab for her coat, pulling it on and tucking her gift under her arm.   
  
“Anything to get me out of that Monday morning meeting,” Sam joked, shuddering at the mere thought. 

* * *

  
  
Kara never put much stock in grocery lists. She had always taken a more Bruce Lee approach to grocery shopping, feeling rather than thinking. But Alex and she had thrown together a rudimentary one that would ensure she had _something_ to eat while she made the move to Metropolis a more permanent one.   
  
That and the grocery run that followed kept her mind occupied for a time. It didn’t stop her from thinking about Lena completely but it did stop her from bombarding Sam with more texts than she had sent already. The one bright spot in what had started out a fairly gloomy day had been Sam telling her that Lena would be spending her birthday with her and not in Gotham… 

She hated the idea of Lena possibly spending her birthday alone but she was glad that she would be spending it with Sam and not some playboy billionaire who had no idea how lucky he really was… 

She and Alex ordered takeout for dinner, something that Alex considered good luck on someone’s first night in a new apartment, and sat together on the living room floor eating egg rolls and potstickers gossiping and catching each other up on their lives while skirting around the topic of Lena.   
  
Not until they had cleared away all the takeout boxes and were laying on opposite ends of the couch looking for something to watch on Netflix did talk finally turn to Lena.   
  
“Do you remember Lena’s birthday last year?” Kara asked.   
  
Alex nodded patiently. “I do,” she said, sounding just a touch amused at the question. “I remember that you put me on and then _took me off_ streamer duty.”   
  
“You were hanging them crooked,” Kara said. “And it was easier for me to put them up anyway. I didn’t need a step ladder.” As if Alex needed the reminder she floated a couple of inches off the couch before floating back down like a feather caught in a gentle breeze.   
  
“That was fun,” Alex said, looking wistful. “It always was when we had everyone together…”   
  
“After everybody had left,” Kara said, staring down at her lap, the memory beginning to play in her mind’s eye. “Lena insisted on staying behind to help me clean up. I could have had the entire apartment cleaned top to bottom by myself in about a minute.” She let out a hollow-sounding laugh, the ghost of a smile still on her face. “I thought about telling her then about Supergirl. I thought about that a lot. More times than I can count. But honestly, I didn’t want to then.” She let out a breath she had been holding and appeared to deflate a little, glancing over at Alex. “I liked cleaning up with her. I liked that I could really be Kara Danvers with her. I didn’t need to be anything else... I liked cleaning up the apartment with her. I just liked spending time with her. That must sound so stupid.”   
  
“You know it doesn’t,” Alex said. “Have you thought about sending her a text? Just a short one, maybe?”   
  
“Of course I have.” _I’ve thought about that every day for months now…_ “We haven’t talked in a long time.” She pointed to herself. “And the last time that we did, that was for The Daily Planet… She didn’t want to talk to me…”   
  
“I didn’t know you were the only one working there. They should be paying you better."   
  
“Haha,” Kara said, aiming a kick in Alex’s direction, not actually meaning to make contact but doing it anyway. “Perry knows that I did my fair share of articles about Lena in the past, lots of interviews… That’s why.”   
  
“And if Lena was dead set against not seeing you, all it would take was a phone call and The Daily Planet would send someone else.”   
  
Kara knew that she was right. That alone had been a comfort to her during the long stretches when the two hadn’t talked but there still remained a seed of doubt always threatening to put down roots and flourish. Lena was a pragmatist and Kara reasoned that while they might not be friends anymore she might still respect her integrity and ability as a journalist. That might have been true but there was a chance (however small) that Lena did want to see her. That gave her hope. 

_You don’t buy lunch for someone that you hate,_ a voice reminded Kara. And that was true as well. Lena had sent lunch to The Daily Planet and neither had ever discussed it. Kara was certain that Lena had no idea Kara even knew. She had considered coming clean, accepting Lena’s gesture as a kind of olive branch, taking that to L-Corp, and waving it like a white flag of surrender and hoping that they could come out the other side stronger.   
  
She hadn’t, of course. There was too much at stake and too much hurt that still lingered in the air like a particularly thick miasma of fog that refused to vanish. Sam had advised her to give it time and that’s what she had been trying to do. But it felt wrong not to see Lena on her birthday… Not to talk to her…   
  
“Maybe,” Kara said noncommittally, not exactly putting an end to the conversation but most definitely giving Alex the wrap it up signal. “I need my pillow,” she said. “I can handle new sheets and a new bed but the pillow situation is non-negotiable.”   
  
“You want to swing by my place and grab mine while you’re at it? Since you’re already going,” Alex said as she stifled a yawn clumsily with the back of her hand.   
  
“I can do that. Can also grab you some pajamas while I’m there.”   
  
“You could just pick up my whole apartment and plop it right down there in the street,” Alex suggested, stretching out on the couch, giving Kara a nudge with her feet as she did.   
  
“Tempting. Maybe when I really get homesick,” she said, whipping her glasses off and watching her suit begin to form around her body. She walked to the balcony, opened one of the doors, and was gone in an instant.   
  


* * *

  
  
Hovering high above the city was almost always a cathartic experience. There was a peace that came with knowing just how many people there were below and how interconnected their lives were, how that she too fit into a place on that tapestry. Normally she would listen for the sounds of distress, of people in need of help but tonight she was listening for something else entirely. The sound should have been lost in the hustle and bustle of the city below that was alive even this late at night, but she focused on it quickly enough until it was the only sound she could hear. Lena’s heartbeat.   
  
That should have been enough for Kara and any other night it might have been. For her to know that Lena was safe, that she wasn’t in distress, that she wasn’t crying… She flew towards the sound, listening to the steady thrum and for one ludicrous moment felt as if her eyelids had grown suddenly heavier. _Wouldn’t be the worst way to fall asleep,_ she mused, a blush rising in her cheeks that had nothing to do with the harsh bite of an especially cold autumn night.   
  
She touched down less than a block away, emerging from the alley she had landed in as Kara Danvers. There was no confidence in her walk as she strode closer to Lena’s apartment building until she was looking up at Lena’s apartment. It would have been easy to fly up to the balcony but it would have been nearly impossible for her to knock, almost as hard as her ringing the bell to be let up. The letter that had been in her purse was now tucked safely in the back pocket of her jeans and after a few moments of deliberation, she knew that was where it would likely stay.   
  
Her hand reached for it, stopped halfway, and diverted towards the pocket she kept her smartphone. She tapped the screen twice, watched it light up as if she had just flicked the wheel of a lighter and navigated to her contacts, pressing the name at the very top.   
  
_You’re making a mistake,_ a voice that sounded like Alex warned her. _I know,_ she answered back. This time around, Kara didn’t believe there was a _right answer._ There were merely doors and not one led to where she wanted to go but she had to pick one and she had when she pressed her finger to Lena’s name in her contact list.   
  
She listened to the phone ring twice, three times, until on the fourth ring instead of another cheery ringing sound, Kara was greeted with silence, or something close to it. She could hear Lena breathing on the other end.   
  
“Hello,” Kara said, hating the unease she heard in her own voice. She shuffled nervously a few paces to the right, standing in the warm glow of one of the streetlights.   
  
“Hello…”   
  
“I didn’t wake you, did I?”   
  
“No… You didn’t wake me up. I was just reading.”   
  
“Lena, I know that I’m probably the last person that you want to hear from, I know-”   
  
“That honor still belongs to my mother, Kara,” Lena said, a faint spark of her old self shining through.   
  
“Good to know,” Kara said, smiling in spite of how nervous she still felt. “I wanted you to know… I _needed_ you to know that _(I love you)_ I didn’t forget your birthday, Lena. I could never forget that.”   
  
More silence.   
  
“I had a birthday dinner with Sam and Ruby… It was really nice.” There was a brief pause at the end as if Lena might have more to say but when the silence began to stretch out, Kara elected to break it.   
  
“I’m really happy to hear that you had a nice time. I didn’t call to bother you,” Kara insisted, knowing she was probably doing just that. “Happy birthday, Lena,” she said softly, her right hand brushing against the letter sticking up out of her pocket like a sprout pushed up through soft spring soil.   
  
“Thank you, Kara…”   
  
“I should let you sleep,” she said, wanting to end the call for her benefit just as much as Lena’s. _If I stay any longer I’m going to want to fly up to your balcony…”_ _  
_ _  
_ “Probably. Have a good night, Kara.”   
  
“You too, Lena…” 

* * *

When Lena’s phone rang, somehow she knew it was Kara. It could have been Sam, wanting to double and triple-check that she had made it home safe, Bruce calling about an emergency or any number of business associates who traveled so often that they called any time of the day or night, just assuming that you were on the same schedule as they were. But there was no doubt in her mind that it was Kara.   
  
She had flickered through the same gamut of emotions she usually did when she thought about Kara. Anger was the most common and there had been days that Lena felt that she might actually burn up with the intensity of it but it was also the hardest for her to hold onto. She didn’t want to be angry anymore, even if that was the one thing that was keeping her safe from making the same mistake again. 

As their conversation chugged along, Lena’s fingers traced over the passage of the poem she had been reading. And when their call ended, Lena slid out of bed, setting the book on her nightstand and padding to her balcony in bare feet. She threw the curtain open and stepped out onto the balcony, looking down at the street below shielding herself against the wind by wrapping her arms tightly around herself. Despite how cold she felt, she didn't go back inside for a long while. She could just begin to see her breath, something that likely heralded a cold winter. If she had looked up she would have spotted the flutter of a cape that very quickly disappeared into the night sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the lull in between chapters. Work has kept me busier than I'd like. Next chapter will be along much sooner.
> 
> The poem from the previous notes and the one that Lena is drawn to in-story are actually what planted the seed of the idea for this story. A very basic interpretation of the poem is as follows:
> 
> "The Mask" is about a woman wearing a mask of "burning gold" and "emerald eyes". These two lines mean that she is hiding behind something and not showing her true feelings. They go on to say that if she takes off the mask that perhaps the two of them will find out that they are in love with each other.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading!  
> https://inkedroplets.tumblr.com/


	12. Second Chances

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _I wanna believe you  
>  When you’re telling me everything that I need to hear  
> I’ve been hoping to reach you  
> Can we skip to the part where we start to see it clear  
> ‘Cause even with the scars you been tryna hide  
> There’s something ‘bout the way I don’t have to try  
> Yeah, it’s gonna take just a little time_
> 
> -SVRCINA 'My Heart Just Knows'

Lena’s sparring sessions with Bruce almost always seemed to fall on days after an especially grueling night of patrolling with today being no exception. She was sporting a number of angry looking purple bruises down the length of her back from a number of heavy blows she had taken foiling a bank robbery the night before and being put through her paces today meant that instead of sinking into a hot bath once she was back in Metropolis she would instead ease herself into an ice bath in a bid to jumpstart the healing process before she would go out and do it all over again the next night.    
  
But their sparring on the balance beam was no longer the one-sided affair it had been when Lena had first begun her training with her constantly on the defensive, each blow she failed to avoid or fall from the balance beam a painful reminder of how far she had to go. It had become a kind of dance, reinforcing what she had learned and pushing her forward. A painful dance that turned her body into a patchwork of soreness but a dance nonetheless.    
  
She was seated in a chair at the small table in a corner of the cave that Lena had been delighted to find out was where Alfred often made Bruce take his meals when he was too stubborn or too busy to eat in the dining room. There was a cup of freshly brewed tea that was still steaming that Alfred had set down in front of her, which he had done with an almost inaudible sigh that she was sure he had perfected over many years serving as Bruce’s butler.    
  
“Perhaps Miss Luthor’s training could be postponed long enough for her to have tea,” Alfred suggested, his tone dripping with that dry wit that Lena was so very fond of.    
  
“She’s welcome to,” Bruce said, bringing his own cup to his lips and taking a sip.    
  
“Working on it,” Lena grumbled. It wasn’t such an easy thing to do with her hands cuffed behind her back and she wasn't about to try and lean down and take a sip without the use of her hands. Not again. This bit of training was new and the first time she had tried to escape from the cuffs she had only succeeded in pulling them even tighter around her wrists and had left Wayne Manor promising Bruce that she would practice on her own. 

She redoubled her focus on working the snapped off bit of pen clip between the locking mechanism and teeth of the handcuffs, careful this time to work it in deep enough before she tightened the cuffs one notch while pushing the shim forward feeling the cuff open and free her wrist.    
  
“Five minutes, twenty-six seconds.”    
  
“My tea’s still warm,” Lena countered, eyeing the angry red mark on her wrist as she brought the cup to her lips and took a sip.    
  
“It would be even better hot,” Alfred said.    
  
“I’ll keep practicing,” Lena promised, setting her teacup back down and checking her watch. “I’m not keeping you, am I Bruce?”   
  
He shook his head. “If you were-”   
  
“You’d already be gone,” Lena said. “Just making conversation.” She took another drink of tea, eyeing the vase of plumerias on a table laden with gadgets in various stages of completion. A decorating touch of Alfred’s obviously meant to inject a little color, a little life into the cave. Flowers alone would hardly be enough to combat the dreariness of choosing to base one’s operations out of a cave but as another strategic attack in Alfred’s war of attrition to keep Bruce from disappearing beneath the cowl, Lena thought it wasn’t half bad, although she  _ had  _ always loved plumerias. 

She set her now empty cup down gently back onto the tray and picked up the handcuffs from the table, slipping them onto her wrist as she looped her arms behind her back. She worked her arms, hearing the teeth of the cuffs clatter as she pulled them snug on her wrist, intent on getting her time well in under two minutes before she left Gotham. “I take it from the donation that L-Corp received yesterday that you won’t be attending tomorrow’s gala?”

Bruce shook his head. “Unfortunately I’ve already reached my quota of public appearances for the month as much as I would like to go.” 

“Lucky you,” she joked. “I’d skip out if it wasn’t me spearheading the initiative.” She made a face when she felt the cuffs bite painfully into her wrists but soldiered on without complaint. “And if there’s anything I’m really good at it's getting stingy billionaires to open up their wallets. Present company excluded,” she teased.    
  
Lena's plans to implement a second chance program for those recently released from prison, jail, or juvenile facilities in Metropolis had been her pet project over the last few months, tweaking and getting the necessary pieces into place before officially announcing it. It had been a hard sell, especially to some of the more stubborn individuals she had asked to sign on. Most people didn’t like giving people one chance, much less a second one, but she remained both stubborn and very happy to negotiate which always seemed to work wonders for her.    
  
“Rolling out a similar program in Gotham hasn’t been easy,” Bruce said. He steepled his fingers and glanced upward briefly. “The people of Gotham have been very wary of offering up second chances…" He let out a sigh that sounded like he had been holding in for a very long time. “I like to think that the faith they've shown in the city has been rewarded.”

"It's a tall order asking people for a second chance..." Lena had been on both sides of the equation and understood that better than anyone. She thought it was true of everything in life; in business, in friendship, in love… Asking anyone to take a leap especially after being hurt once wasn’t easy.    
  
Bruce said nothing but Lena never took his silence to mean that he wasn’t listening. If anything, he listened  _ too  _ well. Taking advantage of the momentary silence Lena redoubled her efforts on escaping her cuffs and after one heartstopping moment when she believed she had made the same mistake as last time in not following through completely she felt the cuff on her left wrist pop open and she very quickly did the same to her right, setting the cuffs down on the table, grinning.    
  
“A minute fifty. Not bad.”    
  
“But not very good either. Gives me something to work on during conference calls. Just have to remember not to do it on a video call. I would hate for people to start gossiping and I find myself the topic of too many tabloid articles as it is.”   
  
“Speaking of tabloids.” Bruce reached across the table for his tablet, tapped at the screen, and turned it towards Lena. “I’m guessing you didn’t see this?”   
  
Lena scanned the headline, rolled her eyes, and chuckled, glancing at the three slightly out of focus photos of her in her suit standing on a rooftop. She had known that it was only a matter of time until her nighttime escapades were brought to light but Lena thought the last place she would see the news break would be The Metropolis Star. Even among tabloids, it had a reputation of being a bit out there. “New masked vigilante in Metropolis. A vampire hiding in plain sight?” she read aloud.  _ Definitely not framing this one.  _ “What about my suit screams vampire?” Lena asked, shaking her head a bit.   
  
“It might be all the black,” Alfred said, already ascending the stairs, his voice carrying incredibly well in the cave along with his footsteps.    
  
“Good night, Alfred!” Lena called up after him. She considered trying to beat her time in picking the lock on her handcuffs but stood up instead. “I should be going. I need to fly back and if I don’t go out on patrol tonight I’d at least like to tinker with a few projects in the lab.” 

"It's only a matter of time until a more reputable source picks up on the fact that Metropolis has a new vigilante in town. Like The Daily Planet for example," he said pointedly. "If I know Perry White, he's probably already sitting on something. It's just a reminder to be careful keeping your identity a secret. People are naturally curious, sometimes for all the wrong reasons.”    
  
“Which is why I ruled out a cowl when I was designing my suit.” She smiled and began to trudge up the long winding staircase that led back up to the manor, a bit surprised when Bruce fell into step behind her. “Besides, I don’t think I would ever rank very high on anyone’s vigilante suspect list and my social circle is woefully small."   
  
Regardless,” Bruce said patiently, “if you plan on letting anyone in on your secret-”   
  
“I know,” she said, turning back to look at him. “I run the risk of putting them in danger,” she said, parroting back one of the things that Bruce had hammered home several times during their training. She said this without the usual hint of impatience in her voice, wanting him to know that she took this seriously. She better understood the dangers of being a secret keeper, perhaps even better understood why Kara had been hesitant to be completely honest with her. But that certainly didn’t absolve Kara of her wrongdoing and it didn’t make Lena feel any less awful, especially when she was the only one of their group left in the dark.    
  
Back in the foyer, Lena opened the front door and lingered there just long enough to say goodbye before stepping out and immediately feeling a bitterly cold wind blow past her, bracing herself as best she could against it as she hastily cinched the belt on her trench coat.    
  
“Lena?”   
  
“Something the matter Bruce?” She turned back to see him standing in the doorway, the light from inside the foyer making his shadow seem impossibly long, almost bat-like.    
  
“Kara Danvers.”   
  
“What about her?” Lena asked, bristling at the mention of her name, feeling that cut through her even more keenly than the wind did.    
  
“Did you really not know she was Supergirl? I only ask because with your analytical skills you should have realized long ago-”   
  
Lena let out a sigh that she hoped had been lost in the howl of the wind and nodded. “A part of me might have known deep down that it was a possibility," she said carefully. “Maybe just hindsight,” she said listlessly. “There were signs… Kara Danvers isn’t the world’s most skilled liar and growing up surrounded by some of them, of course, I noticed something was off...” She scuffed her heel against the ground, looking up, and found herself staring at a thin sliver of moon hanging overhead. 

“I never thought that Kara would lie to me,” she said. And that’s what it really boiled down to. There were plenty of red flags and warning signs that Lena would have heeded under any other circumstance, but not with Kara and that’s what made the pain so much worse. “She had no obligation to tell me,” Lena said as if trying to convince herself of that. However true that may have been, it did very little to assuage the pain from being lied to but she would take what she could get. Taking another step towards her rented car she pressed the key fob and raised her hand to say goodbye. “I’ll see you next month, Bruce.”

“Next month,” Bruce agreed. “Be careful when you’re practicing your lockpicking. Having to explain how you got stuck in handcuffs isn’t fun,” he reminded her, raising his hand in an identical goodbye before shutting the door.    
  
“Like that would be the first time,” Lena muttered, grinning to herself as she swung herself into the driver’s seat.    
  


* * *

  
Kara had tried not keeping track of how much time had passed since the last time she and Lena had spoken. She didn’t need Alex to remind her that it wasn’t good to dwell on such matters but trying to do that was easier said than done. She was in a far better place than she had been just months ago but that didn’t mean she still didn’t have a Lena-sized hole in her life.    
  
Kara’s brief call on Lena’s birthday had been the last time they had spoken and that had been weeks ago. Their paths hadn’t crossed since which made tonight all the more important. Covering the gala at L-Corp meant that she was guaranteed at least a small window of time to talk without interruption, for her to pretend for however short a time that things weren't all bad between them.   
  
The contents of her closet lay strewn about her room as she zeroed in on what she wanted to wear. She had done a series of lightning-quick wardrobe changes, giving herself just enough time to appraise herself in the mirror in the hall before changing into something else. She had settled on her green belted dress after ten minutes of intense deliberation. She did one final spin in the mirror, still not completely sold.  _ I really need to go shopping,  _ she thought. Maybe as an early Christmas present, after she had a bit more time to fatten up her savings account after white-knuckling it when she had resigned from CatCo.    
  
She smoothed her dress needlessly, looking at herself in the mirror,  _ really  _ looking this time, wondering if Lena would like that particular shade of green on her… She touched at her hair, primping, taking her glasses off, and looking back at her reflection before putting them back on and exhaling loudly, ignoring the way her stomach was doing nervous somersaults.    
  
“It’s just an interview,” she told herself in an attempt to temper her expectations, a reminder that she was going as a reporter and not Lena’s guest…   


* * *

  
“Nia?!”   
  
“Kara!”    
  
Their eyes had met from across the already crowded room and Kara watched as Nia had a very near miss with one of the many waiters milling about the room with delicately balanced trays perched on one hand. She winced but opened her arms just in time for Nia to pull her into a very tight but very brief hug in an effort to maintain some semblance of professionalism.    
  
“I thought I might run into you here!” Nia smiled, holding Kara by the shoulders and looking at her the way that Eliza sometimes did when they hadn’t seen one another in a long time. “I was going to text you about it actually but I wanted it to be a surprise. I thought if you were here that you’d be hovering around one of the waiters walking around with trays of potstickers.”   
  
Kara’s attention flicked away for a moment, saw a waiter floating through the crowd with a tray of potstickers that had so far gone completely untouched, and turned back to Nia. “I’m actually not hungry,” she said, her stomach still doing vigorous calisthenics with no end in sight. “ _ But,  _ that’s not going to stop me from taking some home with me later. If I need you to run interference later.”   
  
“Oh, I’m your girl.” Nia beamed and gestured around. “I can’t help but feel I’m a little underdressed,” she said, plucking at her periwinkle dress. Brainy suggested I ask Miss Rojas to foot the bill for a new dress, seeing as she assigned me the gig.”    
  
“You look beautiful,” Kara assured her. “I love that color on you. And if you wanted to swing by my place since you're in the city you’re more than welcome to, I’ve been meaning to invite you but we’ve both been so busy...”   
  
Nia blushed and she cleared her throat, winding a lock of hair around one finger. “I’d really love to, Kara, but Brainy actually came with me. Unofficially, of course,” she said hastily. “If Miss Rojas thought I took anyone with me…” She dragged her thumb across her neck. “But he’s waiting back at the hotel and-”   
  
Kara shook her head. “Say no more.” Her eyes twinkled mischievously and she mimed closing a key over her lips. “Have you seen Lena,” she asked conversationally, craning her neck around the room. Interviewed her yet?”   
  
Nia’s grin faded slightly and she shook her head. “I’m supposed to talk with Miss Arias later.” She turned her wrist towards her to check her watch. “Nine o'clock sharp. I  _ think  _ Miss Rojas wanted to score an interview with Lena but something fell through… Probably not in a rush to see me,” she said, her normally chipper voice sounding suddenly very hollow. Kara secretly agreed but didn’t think there was anything to be gained from telling Nia that.    
  
Eager to change topics, Kara pointed surreptitiously to a wizened white-haired man with a sizable paunch who had one claw-like hand around the wrist of one of the waiters, steadying himself as he loaded himself down with crab puffs. “I’d avoid going to him hoping for a sound byte. I made that mistake before. He’s very good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.”   
  
“I imagine that’s a common problem here,” Nia whispered back. “But I should probably make my rounds early before Lena gives her speech.”   
  
“Good luck,” Kara said, reaching out to give Nia’s hand an encouraging squeeze.   
  
“You too,” Nia said, her gaze lingering somewhat curiously on Kara before she turned to go, weaving her way through the crowd before disappearing into it completely.   


* * *

  
The last time that Lena had truly been nervous to give a speech had been some time in boarding school. For all her shortcomings (and there were a lot of them) she was good at this but tonight she found herself pacing like a caged tiger in her black cocktail dress as she shuffled with her notecards nervously. She was thinking less about her speech and more about what she had planned for afterward. She had put off telling Sam the truth about her for long enough and while she had ample time to prepare, she was still at a loss for words about how she planned to go about telling her.   
  
“You alright?” Sam’s hand closed over Lena’s shoulder and gave her a tiny shake. “You do these kinds of speeches in your sleep.” She made a face. “Not that you ever seem to sleep all that much.”    
  
“It’s not the speech,” Lena said. She gave her head a shake.   
  
“Does it have something to do with you wanting to talk after the gala’s over? You know you could tell me now and unburden yourself,” Sam said, bringing her hands together as if getting ready to pray. “Might make you look less deer in the headlights when you get up on stage,” she said, smirking a little but looking concerned.    
  
“After,” Lena said.  _ Not nearly enough time to unpack everything.  _ “Until then, go be a CEO.”    
  
Sam made a face and wobbled a bit on her heels when she took a step. “You know what I’d love?” she said, tugging at her red evening dress. “Being a CEO in sneakers. Comfy sneakers. Or Crocs. Oh God, I’d kill for that,” she said over her shoulder, walking towards the doors leading out to the main room.    
  
There was the sudden swelling of noise when Sam slipped into the main hall, dying away abruptly when the door settled close again, leaving Lena alone with her thoughts. She still wasn’t completely sure that telling Sam the truth about how she had been spending her evenings in Metropolis was the right move. Bruce’s warning still weighed heavily on her and as much as she could understand the reasoning for keeping Sam in the dark, she knew that Sam deserved the truth.   
  
Her training with Diana and Bruce had given her a goal to focus on and stop herself from spiraling but it had been Sam that had stopped Lena from shutting herself off from the world completely, she had saved her from herself, been there for her when she had never felt more alone.    
  
A few more minutes passed with Lena still deep in thought, treading over the same ground without really making any progress when her watch started to beep.  _ Showtime. _ She felt the faintest hint of nervousness wriggling in the back of her mind that didn’t take much effort on her part to push cleanly away before walking towards the doors. Before she slipped through one of them, she tossed her notecards in a nearby garbage can. She knew the speech by heart, after all. She always did.   
  
There was something always slightly unsettling to Lena about having everyone in the room turn to you in almost perfect unison. She understood why it happened though. Because no matter how good the food was or how freely the alcohol flowed, they couldn’t put an end to the evening before at least first hearing the pitch after all. It wasn’t all that different from how people hawked timeshares.    
  
Standing behind the podium, she did a quick scan of the room, giving those in the crowd still eating just enough time to take one more bite of food or one more sip of champagne. She saw Nia standing in a far corner, one of the last places a reporter ever wanted to find themselves stuck at an event like this.  _ Maybe she’s worried I might kick her out, _ Lena wondered. She would have never gone quite that far but Lena couldn’t say she was happy to see her either.   
  
“I’d like to thank everybody for coming tonight,” Lena said, looking out over the crowd, her eyes falling briefly on Kara. There was no exchange of smiles like there might have been in the past, only one lingering glance, blue eyes meeting green. “When I rebranded my family’s company, I did so hoping for a second chance. A chance to undo some of the damage that my family had inflicted onto the world, to push the company to be what it should have always been. A force for good. Not everyone has always been willing to give me a chance and considering my family…” She gave a little bow that coaxed a few chuckles from the crowd. “I can’t say I blame them. But I’m persistent and there have been those willing to look past that and give me a chance to prove myself. I still have a long way to go to do that but that’s why I've asked all of you to join me tonight and it's what I want to offer others that might need it. A second chance.”   
  
Lena reached for the remote on the podium and pointed it behind her to start the brief presentation on the screen behind her. “L-Corp’s second chance initiative will strive to offer those returning from incarceration free housing education and employment opportunities. This city has been gracious enough to welcome me back after my time away. I'd like a chance to return the favor and to ask others to join me as well. It’s our hope that other businesses within Metropolis will be willing to participate as well. Me and our CEO Miss Arias will be more than happy to address any questions or concerns you might have while you continue to drink all my champagne,” she joked. Lena grinned, feeling optimistic about the crowd’s reaction. She stepped down from the podium to enthusiastic applause and prepared herself for the rest of the evening when she felt a light tap on her shoulder.    


* * *

  
It was Kara that had clapped the loudest after Lena had finished speaking. Not that it had ever really been a contest, it was a gala, after all, and not a concert, something that Kara had needed to remind herself when the woman in the red dress next to her shot her a dirty look and sidestepped further away from her. Mouthing ‘sorry’ to her, she cut her way through the crowd on her way to Lena pausing just long enough to remind herself that it was Kara the reporter that Lena was ready to meet with tonight.  _ Reporters don’t give out hugs or tell people how much they’ve missed them…  _   
  
Tapping Lena lightly on the shoulder, she felt the bottom drop out of her stomach when she turned around.  _ That dress… Oh, Rao. _   
  
“Kara?”    
  
“Lena.” Kara cleared her throat, clutching her notepad tight enough in her right hand to leave deep-set grooves. Realizing that her gaze had begun the slow steady march away from Lena’s eye line and down toward her chest, she overcorrected and stared at her forehead before readjusting. “If you had just a few minutes,” she said, holding up her notepad and forcing herself to smile even as she felt herself blushing.    
  
“Of course.” She craned her neck around the room and pointed towards one of the far corners near the door. “Over there should be fine.”    
  
They walked in unison, the crowd parting this time on account of being in Lena’s company, no longer needing to sidestep past any other guests as they cut their way across the room to a small alcove that offered them as much privacy as one could expect to get in a room with at least three hundred people in it.    
  
“I don’t mean to rush you,” Lena said, “but I scheduled a lot of interviews,” she said, a hint of something that to Kara sounded like regret in her voice. “Need to pound the pavement,” she joked, glancing over her shoulder at the crowd.    
  
“I promise I won’t take too much of your time, Lena.” She flipped open her notebook, shuffling past the pages she’s already used. “I read your proposal before coming here. It’s wonderful.  _ You’re  _ wonderful.” She blushed, “How long has this plan been in the making?”   
  
“Months,” she answered looking pleased. “Lots of late nights and there’s still so much more to do. Ideally, I’d like to get more of Metropolis on board but I keep reminding myself that it’s a marathon, not a sprint.” She smiled. “I’m more than ready to be patient. “   
  
_ That makes two of us…  _

“I know it’s cliche,” Kara warned her, the nervous smile on her face morphing into a grin. “You’ve done so much for the city since you’ve moved back to Metropolis, how would you describe yourself, your work ethic?”   
  
“That is cliche,” Lena agreed. Her smile widened and for one glorious moment, Kara felt as if the pendulum had however briefly swung back to where it had been before. A bittersweet reminder of what had been and how far away from it they were now.    
  
“I’ve always thrown myself into my work. I don’t know if I would recommend emulating what I consider a normal workday,” Lena warned, shrugging her shoulders that to Kara’s eyes looked so much bigger than she remembered. “But I’m a perfectionist and there are always a lot of moving pieces for a project of this size. These programs don’t belong to me, they belong to the people of the city but it’s my responsibility that the launch goes smoothly."

Lena reached behind her without looking and plucked a champagne flute from the tray in one smooth motion that surprised even the waiter, who came to a stuttering halt, offering the tray out to Kara who very quickly shook her head and watched him set off again towards the more crowded part of the room.    
  
Running a finger along the rim of her glass, Lena looked up, holding her gaze while Kara’s notepad lay open in her hand, forgotten. “Describe myself,” she said out loud, tapping a finger against the stem of her glass. “A rich girl with issues?” She offered the answer with a short mirthless chuckle and shook her head. “Maybe don’t print that. I’m sorry, I really don’t know how I would answer that. I've never been able to judge myself without bias."   
  
_ I do,  _ Kara thought, and if not for the strange armistice the two had hammered out without ever speaking of it, she would have told Lena exactly how she felt.  _ Not nearly enough time to unpack everything.  _ How would she ever begin that kind of conversation after everything that had happened between the two of them? That question was often the last thing she thought of before she fell asleep and made repeat appearances throughout the day and still she hadn’t the foggiest idea. The letter she had written Lena still lay on top of her dresser, unsent and it would likely stay that way. She had too many feelings to put to paper. Offering anything else seemed inadequate.   
  
“I’ll write around it,” Kara assured Lena, still smiling. “Is there anything in particular that inspired you to pursue such a huge undertaking?”   
  
“Well,” Lena said. “Metropolis has similar programs currently. None quite as large in scope but it was a good starting point. It’s been my intention to focus my efforts on improving programs in the city since arriving but it’s really Mr. Wayne I have to thank.”   
  
“Bruce Wayne?” Kara asked, already knowing the answer, her smile vanishing.    
  
Lena nodded. “Thanks to the work that L-Corp and Wayne Enterprises has done together, I’ve been able to see a lot more of Gotham than I ever have before. The programs and charities that he’s set up to improve the city have been an inspiration to me.”   
  
“I see…” Kara scribbled a few notes down, more out of habit than out of fear that she might actually forget any part of their interview and to give her time to tamp down the flare of jealousy that had reared its ugly head at the mention of Bruce Wayne. “He’s not here tonight,” Kara said, jealousy replaced by anger on Lena’s behalf.  _ Metropolis isn’t that far. The least you can do is come support your girlfriend…  _   
  
“He sent a check,” Lena said, sounding amused.    
  
“Very generous of him, I’m sure.” She made a face, taking a quick look around before dropping her voice to a volume just above a whisper, remembering the last time they had run into one another... “I need to apologize, Lena.”   
  
“Kara... I can’t do this again,” Lena said, her voice taking on a chill that Kara was far more familiar with than she would have ever liked to be.   
  
“For that night at the sushi place,” Kara elaborated hastily. “Kazoku. What I said to you. It wasn’t right.” She wavered. “We’re not friends anymore,” she said. It was a truth that Kara had needed to live with for months now but the first time that she had allowed herself to admit it out loud. “And even if we were, it would never be my place to say something like that… I just… You deserve to be happy…”   
  
“Why  _ did  _ you say it, Kara?” The cautious trepidation in Lena’s voice giving way to confusion. “I don’t understand why you... Why are you  _ here _ ?”   
  
“To cover the gala,” Kara said weakly, wilting under the look that Lena fixed upon her. How she could exude so much contempt in such a simple gesture was beyond her but it was partly Kara’s fault for being so obtuse despite knowing exactly what Lena meant.  _ Why are you here in Metropolis?  _ “Lena… I-”   
  
The next moment, Kara heard a high pitched beeping coming from her watch that she silenced quickly enough, not wanting to draw any more eyes than she already had. She knows that sound well. It meant that there was some kind of emergency back in National City. Someone in danger. It meant that there was a job for Supergirl. It meant having to walk away from Lena when it was the place she wanted to be most of all.   
  
“Go.” Lena took a step back, arms crossed over her chest. “I should make a lap around the room anyway. Thank you for coming, Kara.” She took another step back while Kara took one forward.   
  
“I want to stay, Lena…”   
  
Lena shook her head a little sadly. “ _ No one  _ wants to stay at a gala, Kara.” She managed a very weak smile that broke Kara’s heart. “That’s why you can’t skimp on the food,” she called over her shoulder as she walked back towards the center of the room, a number of people in the crowd looking as if they were waiting for her to drift closer before trying to draw her into a conversation.    
  
Kara’s watch gave another incessant whine and she clicked it off again. Slipping through the crowd and towards the door, she spared one look back, unable to see Lena in the crowd, focusing instead on her heartbeat, listening to it. It was the sound she heard as she stole away into a patch of darkness before whipping her glasses off, her suit materializing over her clothes, listening to it as she took to the sky until she had flown too far away to hear it. Until the only sound, she could hear was the sound of the wind whipping past her as she sped towards National City. 

_If I asked for a second chance, Lena. Would you give it to me?_

* * *

  
The gala was scheduled to end at ten o'clock. By the time the final stragglers had finally taken their last bows and the caterers and security were done cleaning up it was nearing eleven and Lena felt as if she had fulfilled her quota for human interaction for the year in one fell swoop. She had spent the entirety of the night after Kara had left talking with reporters and making her rounds soliciting donations and scheduling meetings for later in the month. Keeping busy did wonders for keeping her mind busy enough to not dwell on the fact that Kara had been called away. That  _ Supergirl  _ had been called away and just how much she had missed her...   
  
Standing near one of the windows looking up at the blanket of stars outside, Lena felt another featherlight touch on her shoulder, and from the footfalls that preceded it she knew it was Sam but she couldn’t stop herself from hoping that it was Kara. 

“I take back every awful thing I said about morning meetings. At least I can sit down during those.” Sam had one of her heels hooked on her index finger and trying her best to massage her barefoot without losing her balance. “How was your night?”   
  
“Ear talked off and mouth hurts from smiling, so pretty much par for the course,” Lena said. “But I really think it went well. I’m booked solid for lunch until Christmas but if those meetings go well…” She smiled. “We’ll be off to a good start.”   
  
“And how about your interview with Kara?” Sam asked airily as if the thought had just come to her all of a sudden.    
  
“She was smart and left early,” Lena snarked. “Something came up.”  _ At least this time she didn’t need to come up with an excuse for why she’s running out.  _   
  
“Well, I hope she’s okay… Could always schedule a meeting with her over lunch… Or just lunch,” she suggested.   
  
“I just told you I’m booked solid,” Lena reminded her, pretending she didn’t see the way Sam rolled her eyes at that.    
  
“What was it you wanted to talk about?” Sam asked.   
  
“Not here,” Lena said, snapping the lid shut on the ‘Kara box’ in her mind. “Does Ruby have a sitter?”   
  
“Not officially,” Sam said. “Ruby thinks she’s too old for a sitter,” she said using air quotes to highlight just what Sam really thought about that. “The neighbor from across the hall, Miss Dunhill checks in on her every couple hours and makes sure she hasn’t turned the apartment into a disaster zone. Why?” she asked, following in Lena’s wake on her way to the elevators.    
  
“This might take a little time to explain,” Lena said, pressing the button that would take them up to the floor her office was on.    
  
“Oh, it’s one of those talks. Juicy,” Sam teased, giving Lena a little bump with her hip, the playful smile on her face fading when she saw the grim expression on Lena’s face. 

Seated at her desk with Sam sitting opposite her, Lena reached for the bottom-most drawer of her desk and pulled out a bottle of scotch that she hadn’t touched in months. Alcohol would have wreaked havoc on the careful diet and exercise regimen she was on but she had never actually thrown it out. She wasn't sure if it was because she wanted it there as a 'break glass in case of emergency' kind of way or that she wanted it to remind her of how far down the path of self-destruction she had truly gone, maybe it was both.   
  
"Full disclosure," Sam said, kicking her heels off onto the floor. "I _may_ have had a few glasses of champagne between all the schmoozing. Any more alcohol and I'll have a very nice hangover in addition to the blisters on my feet to remind me of tonight."  
  
_Oh, I don't think you'll have trouble remembering tonight,_ Lena thought. "Let me say what I have to say before I put the bottle away."  
  
"That bad? Whatever it is Lena, I'm sure it's not half as bad as you're building it up in her head."  
  
Lena sighed and pushed her chair back, resisting the urge to simply make a mad dash to the elevator. With how hard she had been training and how tired Sam was, she could make it to the elevator before Sam was even out of her chair. "I should have told you sooner," she said, uncomfortable with how similar she sounded to Kara when she had finally come clean about her being Supergirl at the Pulitzer party. "Probably months ago and you can yell at me all you want after I'm done. With how flaky I've been with you, God knows I probably have it coming."  
  
"Lena, I am _not_ going to yell at you." Sam reached across the desk and put her hand on Lena's arm. " _Maybe,_ I'll yell at you. Just a little bit, but I need to know what it is first."  
  
"My sabbatical months ago when I dropped off the radar for two months and all my trips to Gotham..." She reached for her phone and pulled up the article from The Metropolis Star that Bruce had shown her and flipped her phone around before sliding it across the desk to Sam, giving her a moment to scope the photos and the headline.  
  
"I read this," Sam said, completely deadpan.  
  
"Uhh..."  
  
Sam made a spluttering noise and waved her hands out in front of her. "I get bored in the checkout line and the paper is right there and you know I hate reading on my phone. It's not like I _bought_ it." She made a face, tilting her head to the left. "Maybe that's worse that I didn't? You're moonlighting as a really crappy journalist? Is that your big secret?"  
  
"There _is_ a new vigilante in Metropolis," Lena said. "The article got that much right... They're definitely not a vampire though," she muttered darkly.  
  
"Really?" Sam's eyes narrowed, her gaze flicking left to right like a metronome. "This vigilante, you wouldn't happen to be supplying them with tech, would you?" She smirked. "What? Did working with Supergirl in National City give you the superhero bug?" She grinned. "You really thought I was going to yell at you for helping people? Some of our shareholders might not like it but you know how hard they are to please."  
  
"I _am_ responsible for their tech," Lena said, choosing each of her words carefully before speaking. "And a little bit more than that..."  
  
"More?"  
  
Lena sighed and stepped around to the other side of her desk. She gave the ring on her finger a nervous spin before slipping it off her finger, taking a step back while her suit materialized over her body. As always, the gauntlets were the last bits of her suit to materialize. "I _am_ the vigilante," Lena said, her voice coming out slightly robotic and tinny. Seeing how deeply the shock was etched on Sam's face she quickly pressed a tiny button on the neck of her suit, her helmet disappearing and her hair falling free like a halo before settling down around her shoulders.  
  
"Holy shit."  
  
"I've been meaning to tell you, but now I don't know where to start."  
  
"The beginning would be good," Sam said, sounding somewhat breathless. "And I think I will have that drink." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading and sticking with the story this long, I really didn't think it would be this long but that's the story of my life. Hoping everyone is staying safe and healthy! 
> 
> So far, it's been Kara being the one reaching out to Lena, that will change but we're not quite there yet. 
> 
> Very very tiny bit of trivia but the Sushi restaurant's name 'Kazoku' is Japanese for family. Seemed fitting for the place that Kara and Alex had dinner together.
> 
> If you want to ask me things or say hi, do it here: inkedroplets.tumblr.com/


	13. New Assignment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _You said farewell, but  
>  I didn't know I could hold you  
> I coulda warned you  
> I adore you, I adore you  
> I wish I told you_
> 
> -Molly Burch  
> [I Adore You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8Bf39Ziwpk)

While Sam poured herself what could only be considered a _generous_ glass of scotch, Lena tried her best to sort out just where to start. There were some things that she would need to hold back, some information that needed to be redacted but Lena tried to leave out only what she absolutely needed to. 

It wasn’t all that difficult. She had practiced this speech more times than the one she had just given for that night’s gala. What was difficult was seeing how deeply the worry lines etched themselves onto Sam’s face and how quickly the scotch in Sam’s glass disappeared. As Lena drew closer to finishing, she watched Sam make a somewhat clumsy grab for the bottle, presumably for a refill and Lena reached out a hand to stop her.   
  
“Sam…”   
  
Sam gave up the fight for the bottle without complaint but she did drain what was left in her glass, a glint of defiance in her eyes as she did so. “All those late nights,” Sam said, each word she spoke, slow and deliberate. “You were out _there_ ?   
  
“ _Some_ nights, yes,” Lena said. “Patrolling. And some nights I would be either right here or in the lab.” She had planned to show Sam the changes she had made to her lab tonight but seeing how rocked Sam was by the revelation that one of her dearest friends was moonlighting as a vigilante, she would save the tour for another day.   
  
Lena turned her computer screen towards Sam, tapped a few keys, and brought up the dozens of security feeds from all over the city. “Most nights it’s just me in my office keeping an eye out and an ear to the ground.” She placed a comforting hand on Sam’s forearm and squeezed. “I’m okay, Sam. Really.”

“The black eye,” Sam said and reached a hand out and touched Lena’s face gingerly. “The _two_ black eyes. Did you get those—”   
  
“Training,” Lena said, sounding just a touch embarrassed. Clearly, Sam had come to the conclusion that she had gotten injured while out on patrol. Luckily, the injuries she had sustained on the job were far less visible which had saved her the trouble of coming up with any elaborate cover stories.

Sam grimaced and leaned back enough in her chair to produce a rusted squeaking sound. "Somehow, that doesn't make me feel better."

"What _would_ make you feel better?" Lena asked. 

“Another drink,” Sam muttered. She managed a very watery smile that Lena returned eagerly. Sam glanced down briefly at her hands that were clasped together tightly on top of Lena’s desk before once again meeting Lena’s gaze, unblinking. “You wouldn’t hang up your… Those,” she said and pointed to the gauntlets of Lena’s wrists, “if I asked you to, would you?”  
  
Lena shook her head and prised Sam’s hands apart as gently as she could and took them in her own. “If only it were that easy.”   
  
“Mmm, but look who I’m talking to,” Sam admonished. She freed one of her hands and poked Lena gently on the forehead with her index finger. ”I always pegged Ruby to be the one to make me sick with worry.” 

“Still might,” Lena said helpfully, earning another poke in the forehead.   
  
“Mmm. I might find that joke a little funnier if you didn’t just tell me that you’re moonlighting as a vigilante. Who else knows besides me?”

“Besides the people who trained me? Just you.” _And one very snarky butler,_ she thought. She ran a nervous hand through her hair and gnawed on her bottom lip. “I went back and forth about when it was best to tell you… _How_ to tell you… I just couldn’t keep you in the dark anymore. After everything that happened with Kara and the others… If I didn’t have you, I don’t know where I’d be.”   
  
“You know you saying something sweet like that makes it really hard to be upset with you.” She reached for her now empty glass and held it up, using it like a spyglass and looking at Lena through the bottom. “I knew you were keeping something from me. With all the tabloid articles and trips to Gotham, I was worried that you really were dating Bruce Wayne.” She pretended to shudder which made Lena burst out laughing.   
  
“I’ve been a little too busy to date, Sam. And if I ever do, I would never date another billionaire.”   
  
“Mmm,” Sam hummed, her eyes twinkling knowingly. “Finding out you’re risking your life every night instead is _marginally_ better.” She wiggled her hand like a plane that had hit severe turbulence and shrugged. “Maybe,” she said, sounding less sure of herself. “I know that you’ve always dabbled in this kind of…” Sam trailed off for a moment, trying to find the right word. “Lifestyle,” she said. “But helping Supergirl and the DEO is one thing. This is…” She shook her head. “It’s so dangerous, Lena. The gala tonight and all the work you’ve done lately, not to mention everything you did back in National City, isn’t that enough?”   
  
Lena smiled. “The person who trained me said almost the exact same thing when I asked him to train me. I told him that I wanted to do something good without my name hanging over my head. To have people see me and not think the worst…”   
  
“They don’t know you, Lena.” Sam shook her head vehemently. “If they refuse to look past your name then—”   
  
“I don’t know if they’re wrong,” Lena admitted. She fiddled with her ring before slipping it back on her finger. As her suit dematerialized, she stood up and found herself grinning despite the awful memories that had begun to surface in the back of her mind when she saw Sam gaping at her. “I’ve been tinkering with the nanotech for months now, about time I finally get to show it off.” She did a little turn, her smile disappearing nearly as fast as her suit had which she tried to hide by walking over to the window and looking out at the city.

“The people that talk behind my back might not know me and if it was just them then it wouldn’t matter, but Kara knew me….” _Maybe better than anyone ever has,_ Lena thought. “She knew me and she still didn’t trust me. And no matter how much I try to convince myself otherwise I can’t help but worry that maybe she was right not to.” 

“Lena…” Sam got up from her chair and walked over to where Lena stood to join her at the window. “I can’t speak for anyone down there, but for whatever it’s worth, to me and to Ruby, you will _always_ be a hero. What you did for me, I could never in a million years thank you enough.”

Lena stared down at her feet and chanced a glance at Sam who was still looking out over the city. “It’s worth a whole lot,” she said thickly. “I think that I needed to hear that. But this,” she said and held out her left hand out in front of her to look at the ring there. “This is something I want to keep doing. I need to."  
  
Sam let out a little sigh of unhappiness that sounded very loud in the quiet of Lena’s office. “I’m going to worry about you even more than I already do, you know that right?”   
  
“Worry?” Lena said, giving Sam a gentle bump with her shoulder. “People shot at me back in National City. Only difference now is that I’m wearing armor.” She saw Sam reach up to poke her again and could have easily sidestepped out of the way but instead, she let Sam poke her hard in the side. She thought that she deserved at least that much for dropping such a bombshell on her.   
  
“We’re going to talk about this more later,” Sam said. “But I really do need to get home.” She checked her watch and immediately seemed to perk up. “Ruby’s going to start worrying if I’m any later.”   
  
“I’m taking you home,” Lena said, one arm already wrapped firmly around Sam’s waist. She still remembered how much scotch she had drunk by the time Lena had finished her story and she wasn’t convinced that she would be able to walk a straight line even if she walked out barefoot.   
  
“Are you going to fly me home?” Sam asked as the two crammed into the elevator.   
  
“My suit can’t fly,” Lena said as the doors closed shut. She shook her head sadly and tutted. “That would make it way too bulky, Sam. Obviously,” she teased.   
  
That earned her another poke in the ribs.

* * *

  
Setting foot in her apartment at a little past two in the morning, Kara still reeked of smoke, and even after showering twice she still caught the faintest whiff of it as she settled down at her kitchen table with her laptop open to a blank document. The emergency that had torn her away from the gala was a fire that had broken out at one of the larger apartment complexes not far from Kara’s place. 

Evacuating the few people that had been forced to head to the roof instead of down the stairs and out of the building had been quick and easy enough but it had been slow and steady work making sure that the blaze was completely contained. Multiple sweeps through the building to make sure that every last ember had been extinguished and when she had been completely sure she had stuck around just long enough to check on the people she had helped escape the building before flying back home. 

The gala was long over, even the cleaning crew would have gone home but Kara had still flown by on her way home. She was hoping to see Lena. Hoping that for whatever reason she was still there and that they could continue their talk. There had been no one, obviously but that hadn’t stopped Kara from hoping. She and Lena had been on the edge of _something_ before she had been called away. If they had just a little more time to talk if they had been able to slip away from the crowds for only a moment, what might have happened? 

Sitting with her chin resting against the palm of her hand, there were a number of possible outcomes that her imagination had cooked up with all the fervor of a writer that has finally found their muse. They flitted around in her head like a murmuration, moving as one and making it hard for her to focus on little else for a time.

She zeroed in on one in particular. One in which the two of them broke away from the crowd of people to a secluded room where the two could talk uninterrupted, one where Kara summoned the courage to tell Lena just why she had followed her to Metropolis. One where the two were more than strangers, maybe even more than friends…  
  
 _Maybe,_ Kara thought as she began to type as she felt an increasingly familiar blush rising in her cheeks as she scooted her chair closer to the table. _  
_

* * *

“Miss Luthor?”  
  
“What do you need Jess?” Lena glanced up from her computer screen and wasn’t at all surprised to see her with just her head poking inside at an angle that looked very uncomfortable. Her gaze flicked intuitively to her calendar to check that she hadn't forgotten a lunchtime meeting that she was now late for and confirmed that she had nothing scheduled that day. Not that it surprised her. Lena’s duties at L-Corp had shrunk to such an extent that the argument could have been made that she had become what she had vowed never to become: a figurehead. She knew her fair share of apathetic billionaires that were more than happy to fritter away half their day sitting in an office bigger than most people’s homes and pose for the appropriate photo-op when the opportunity presented itself. Lena thought herself a bit busier than that but that, of course, was from her own perspective. From the outside looking in it might have looked completely different. 

“You have a guest but her name isn’t on your list of approved visitors…”  
  
 _Kara?_   
  
“Who is it, Jess?” Lena asked, trying not to sound too eager, trying not to hope.   
  
“Diana Prince,” she said, looking down at the sticky note she had scrawled the name on and squinted. “Said that she’s a friend of yours.”   
  
“Diana?” Lena stood up and spotted Diana through the gap in the office blinds. She waved to her through the blinds and smiled when Diana waved back. “If you get the chance, Jess, go ahead and add Diana Prince to the list of approved visitors.”   
  
“I’ll do that right now,” Jess said, taking a step back to allow Diana to step past her, glancing back at both her and Lena. Right before she closed the door behind her she flashed Lena a covert thumbs up that Lena returned with a polite smile, unsure about what conclusion Jess might have arrived at. 

“I had no idea you had such stringent security in place, Lena,” Diana said. She was wearing a black turtleneck and a check wool coat cinched up loosely around the waist and opened one of her arms for a hug that Lena obliged, albeit a bit shyly.   
  
“Well, when you’re as popular as me,” Lena joked. “What are you doing in Metropolis? Are you here on business?” she asked pointedly, wondering if there was something that required both Wonder Woman's _and_ Superman's attention.   
  
“I’m here to see you, Lena. If you’re not busy then I thought I could steal you away for a bit.”   
  
“I’m never too busy for that,” Lena said, already making a grab for her coat that was draped over the back of the chair. “And even if I was. I’d make time.”

"That’s what I’m worried about,” Diana scolded. “You and Bruce both seem to forget that you need to sleep,” Diana said, holding the door open for Lena. She fixed Lena with an appraising look. “You're getting enough sleep?"

"Lena smiled and nodded, raising her right hand, more than ready to tell the truth, the whole truth, so help her God. "I think I get more sleep now than I ever did when I was CEO." 

* * *

The cold spell in Metropolis had let up enough that Lena didn’t find herself bracing herself against the wind like she so often did in the winter months. Walking alongside one another, Lena had bought them both coffee from a place that she frequented more for the location itself than the coffee and warned her as such before Diana took her first sip. 

“Not anything close to the kind of coffee that Alfred makes, or me for that matter,” Lena said. She took a careful sip as they waited for the light at the crosswalk to change to green. “I’d invite you back to my place but I don’t even know if I have coffee there to offer you.” She squinted, trying to recall just when the last time she had spent more than a few hours at her apartment, and found herself drawing a blank.  
  
Diana looked at her reproachfully. “Surely you’re not _that_ busy that you can’t find time to go home, Lena.” She held up her cup and smiled. “And the coffee is fine, I’ve had _far_ worse.” 

“No,” Lena said quickly, wanting to disavow her of that notion. “I don’t think anyone’s _that_ busy, except maybe Bruce.” When the light turned green, Lena pointed straight ahead and slipped past a couple holding hands that were taking up an obnoxious amount of the sidewalk, glancing back a moment later to see Diana do the same.   
  
“Even before I started working nights,” Lena said when Diana fell back into step beside her, “I’ve tried to avoid going home. When I do it’s just to get a change of clothes or sleep. I don’t think I’ve ever even turned on my oven. Not that I did much cooking back in National City either.” She shrugged unapologetically and took another sip of her coffee. “It doesn’t feel like home,” she admitted, not sure if she was just talking about her apartment or the city in general.   
  
Diana nodded sagely. “With how much time you’ve spent away from the city, on Themyscira and training with Bruce in Gotham I could understand how it might not feel as familiar as it should be. Speaking of Bruce, he wanted me to pass on a message to you.”   
  
“I thought that was Alfred’s job.” Lena teased. She could count on one hand the number of times that Bruce, himself had actually called her. The few times that their training sessions had to be moved or postponed it had almost always been Alfred who had made the call telling her so. Either because Bruce was simply too busy or perhaps Alfred thought that Bruce’s phone etiquette was so terrible that he would rather make the call himself. Lena found herself leaning towards the latter as the most plausible.   
  
Diana chuckled. “This time you get the information without any of the snark. Her gaze flicked towards The Daily Planet building in the distance and then back to Lena. “Kal will be in Markovia for the next couple of days and Bruce wanted to be sure that you were ready. Normally it wouldn’t be a problem but his visit needs to be a public one and once the news gets a hold of it if they haven’t already…”   
  
“While the boy scout’s away the criminals will play?”   
  
“Yes,” Diana said, laughing. “That’s about the gist of it although I don't know if I would call Kal a boy scout.”   
  
“When does he leave?” Lena asked, looking skyward as if she might actually catch a very brief glimpse of red and blue streak across the sky like a shooting star.   
  
“This afternoon,” Diana said, checking her watch. “But with how fast news travels these days…”   
  
“I might have a very busy few days ahead of me,” Lena said.   
  
Diana nodded apologetically. “Kal would have told you himself but I think he thought that telling you through Bruce might be easier.” She pointed to a nearby bench and walked over to it, dusting off the light dusting of snow that remained before sitting down.   
  
Lena sat down beside her and looked up at the dark grey clouds that hung heavy overhead. “I’ll have to give him my cell number the next time we run into one another…” The two had crossed paths several times since the foiled jewelry store robbery. They had exchanged what could only be described as polite small talk. He didn’t have the luxury of sticking around and Lena wasn’t keen to linger either. To his credit, Superman had never once tried asking her for her name although she had no way of knowing if he had tried sneaking a peek through her helmet again. 

“That, or you could ask Bruce to borrow one of his searchlights…” Diana suggested.  
  
“A bit tacky for my tastes,” Lena said, grinning. “For now though, I think that having Bruce as an intermediary is for the best.”

"I know that Kal has been very thankful to have someone else looking out for the city. He stretches himself too thin and having to be away from Metropolis always makes him nervous.”  
  
“I don’t know if he’d feel the same way if he knew it was me looking out for the city. Not that I don’t see where he’s coming from,” Lena conceded. “What with the several attempts on his life by my brother.” _And what you did to Kara at the fortress_ , a voice chimed in as if there was any chance of her forgetting that, as if she didn’t still have nightmares about it.

“Kal isn’t perfect,” Diana said and held out both her hands out palms up like she was Lady Justice herself balancing the scales. “You’re right, he might need some time before he comes around,” she admitted. “But he _will_ come around. Not that it should worry you either way. Diana glanced up at the sky and looked almost disappointed to see the steely mass of grey clouds above them. “I’ve always loved the snow.”

“Stick around a couple days,” Lena suggested with a grin. “If the weather forecast is to be believed, Metropolis is in for a bonafide white Christmas.” That was something that Lena had a hard time seeing the appeal of since her Christmas plans meant there was a good chance that she would be leaping around on some very icy rooftops. For all the precautions and failsafes she had built into her suit, icy rooftops had not been one of them. _Maybe I can tinker with something tomorrow…_

“I would love to,” Diana said and truly looked like she meant it. “But I’ve already made plans.”

Lena grinned. “I just hope you’ll be spending it in Bruce’s Manor and not below it.”   
  
“I wouldn’t worry about that. Alfred would have Bruce’s head if he tried doing that,” Diana said, eyes twinkling mischievously. “You’re more than welcome to join us if you don’t have plans.”  
  
“Who doesn’t have plans on Christmas?” Lena said, avoiding Diana’s inquisitive look by pretending to be overly interested in the Christmas display across the street. She _did_ technically have plans, but Lena doubted that Diana would consider patrolling the city proper Christmas plans. She might have let herself be talked into spending Christmas with Sam and Ruby if they were staying in Metropolis over the holidays but Sam had gotten roped into a ski trip with the family of one of Ruby’s friends. 

“Well, I’m glad to hear that.,” Diana said, not sounding completely convinced that Lena was telling the truth. Her gaze lingered on Lena for another moment before she stood up. She stretched and checked her watch. “Seeing as you might have a busy night, what do you think about grabbing an early dinner with me?”  
  
“Dinner with a beautiful woman,” Lena teased. Who could turn that down?”

* * *

Walking back into The Daily Planet from her lunch break with a coffee clutched loosely in her left hand and a folder containing the first draft of her article tucked under her right arm, Kara very nearly plowed into one of the Planet’s junior reporters as she stepped off the elevator. She did a kind of lazy pirouette around him and snatched a couple papers that had fluttered out from the manilla folder tucked under her arm, making it look like sheer dumb luck that she had caught them before they hit the ground, fumbling with them needlessly as she drew them closer to her. Hiding her identity was almost always an exercise in restraint that could very easily grow tiresome but there were the occasional moments when it could be rather fun to lean into the mild-mannered schtick that she had needed to adopt since finding herself on Earth.  
  
“Lucky,” he said. 

_Lucky you,_ Kara thought. _I might have sent you flying straight through Perry’s office door if I didn’t stop._ “Bound to happen sometimes,” she said flippantly. 

“Let’s hope that lucky streak holds.” He pointed back towards Perry’s office without turning around. “Perry’s been looking for you,” he said, the look on his face screaming ‘better you than me’. 

“Good mood?” Kara asked, knowing just how rare that could sometimes be. In all her time at the Daily Planet, she had never seen him yell but she hadn’t seen him smile all that much either.   
  
He waggled his hand and gave Kara a halfhearted shrug, looking over Kara’s shoulder to where his desk was. “Who can tell?” 

Kara knocked twice before edging into Perry’s office. Before she could even tell him good morning, he waved her in further without looking up from the work on his desk. “Just the person I wanted to see.” He pointed to the empty seat across from him and began to leaf through a folder that was open on his desk.   
  
“If this is about my article for the L-Corp Gala, I’ll have that ready tomorrow.”   
  
“No,” Perry said, shaking his head. “I’m sure that’s coming along fine. I will want to look it over when you’re finished but I wanted to run something else by you.” He leafed through a number of photos, plucking a few out as he did, and slid them across the desk towards Kara. “Full disclosure, I’ve already talked to Kent about taking the lead on this,” he said delicately. “Not for any other reason than he’s in charge of so many of our Superman articles. Don’t want you thinking I only came to you as my second choice.”   
  
Kara let out a nervous chuckle. “I would never think that.”

“Just making sure,” he said and pushed one more photograph over to her. “You wouldn’t imagine the bad blood that can fester between reporters,” he said darkly, the look on his face making it clear that he had seen such a thing firsthand, maybe many times.   
  
Kara quickly riffled through the photos, tilting her head first to the right and then to the left, not quite sure what she was looking at.   
  
“The photos are shit,” Perry said bluntly. “Whoever took these could do with an Intro to Photography class. Normally, I would never spend my time looking over something like this but beggars can’t be choosers.” He leaned over the desk and plucked one of the photos out from the pile in Kara’s hand, turned it around, and tapped his pointer finger against it to draw her attention. “There have been several sightings of a new vigilante in the city. Obviously,” he said and tapped the photo again, “not the strongest bit of photographic evidence but there have been a lot more credible eyewitness accounts.”   
  
“Really?” Kara examined the photo closer. She could better make out the ill-defined shape of the person in the photograph and after flipping through a few of them she could say with almost complete certainty that it was in fact a person in the photos.   
  
“Really,” Perry assured her. “Lots of eyewitnesses and not one of them can take a picture to save their life.” He let out a long sigh that might have appeared comical if not for the pained expression on his face. “Not just them though, more than a few inmates gave _very_ detailed statements about the person that detained them.”   
  
“There’s not much to go on,” Kara said slowly. Even if she combed through every eyewitness account she wouldn’t have been able to squeeze anything more substantial than a very airy fluff piece that _might_ have passed muster at CatCo now that Andrea was running the show but even she had standards.   
  
“No,” Perry agreed flatly. “Which is why I wanted to ask you to do some poking around, see if you can find something a little more substantial that we can actually print. I asked Clark because they’ve been spotted a couple of times with Superman, allegedly.”   
  
“They have?” Kara’s eyebrows shot upward and she turned in her seat to peer out Perry’s office window to where Clark’s desk was. _That’s news to me…_   
  
Perry nodded. “Maybe Kent doesn’t want to get pigeonholed writing about superheroes,” he mused. “If so, he might have picked the wrong city to settle down in. “Either way, I’m not expecting you to spin straw into gold. _No one_ has anything substantial so if you keep coming up empty-handed just tell me. I’d rather not send one of our best reporters out to chase windmills.”   
  
Kara smiled and slid the photos back across the desk toward Perry. “I can look into it, of course. I don’t know if I’ll find anything but I’ll do my best.”   
  
Perry looked pleased but not all that surprised at Kara’s acceptance because he wheeled his chair back and reached for a manila folder that he held out to her. “Might want to start here. At least a few of the eyewitnesses should agree to an interview even if it’s over the phone.”   
  


“I’ll do some digging,” Kara said, pushing her chair back and standing up. She already had a lead in mind that she intended to follow up on, and she wouldn’t even need to leave the building to track it down.  
  
  
Closing Perry’s office door behind her, Kara was immediately greeted by the sounds of a busy office. A few people were crowded around the coffee maker gossiping to one another in hushed voices that still carried impressively well over the sound of drawers opening and shutting and the clack keyboard keys.   
  
She expected to see Clark hunched over his desk working and was therefore surprised to spot him on his way out, coat thrown over his shoulder. Slipping past the same man that she had nearly plowed into on her way into the building she caught Clark at the elevator, keeping the doors from closing by putting her hand between them.   
  
“Kara?! Going down too?”   
  
“At least to the lobby,” she said, stepping inside, relieved to see that they were alone which would save her the trouble of having to talk in code. “I wanted to talk to you about something, I guess I’m lucky I caught you. Chasing down a lead?”   
  
“League work,” Clark said, fiddling with his glasses as he did the customary sweep for bugs or listening devices. “I’ll be guarding the King of Markovia for a few days. There’s been some credible intel that there will be an attempt on his life and this was our safest option on such short notice.”   
  
“You could have told me you were going to be gone for a few days. I can keep an eye on things here for you.”   
  
“I would have,” Clark said. “It was a spur of the moment thing. Perry hit the roof when I told him I needed a few days off out of the blue and right before Christmas.” He glanced up and grimaced. “But if you can spare enough time to do a patrol around the city now and again that should be enough.” He smiled. “Just so people know that you’re out there.”   
  
“I can definitely do that.”   
  
“ _And_ you’re not the only one keeping an eye on things so I really have nothing to worry about,” Clark said as the elevator doors slid open and he stepped out into the lobby.   
  
“You mean the vigilante,” Kara said, stepping out in Clark’s wake and letting a few people file into the elevator past her. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”   
  
“Perry offered you the assignment, didn’t he?” He smiled. “Sorry about that.” He rubbed his chin, looking pensive, and switched his briefcase from his right hand to his left. “If I had known he was going to ask you I would have taken it to save you the trouble.”

“You _do_ know them, then? Is that why you didn’t want to take the assignment?” she asked, careful as always to keep her voice down. She had learned quickly that the last place you wanted to be loose-lipped was in a building stuffed to the brim with reporters. 

“Professional courtesy,” Clark said as he held the door open for Kara. Once outside standing under a cloud-studded sky of grey, he checked his watch twice in quick succession before he turned his attention back to Kara. “I’d give you the longer version but I wanted to say goodbye to Lois before I go so the short version will have to suffice until I get back.”  
  
“Short version is fine,” Kara assured him.   
  
“We’ve met,” he said. “And we’ve crossed paths more than a handful of times. Not much of a talker. I don’t know much about them but a couple of others from the League can vouch for them and that’s good enough for me. They do good work.” He wrinkled his nose and rubbed at his temple. “A little rough sometimes but considering who trained them… But I don't actually know who they are and for now, at least it looks like they want to keep it that way."   
  
“So that's why you passed." Kara grinned. "Perry thinks you're afraid of getting pigeonholed." Her grin faded and she held out the folder that Perry had given her. "Do you want me to tell Perry that I have to pass too?" She didn't relish the thought of how that conversation might go but she also didn't like the idea of shining a spotlight on someone that seemed determined to stay out of it.  
  
"No," Clark said. "You don't need to go that far. Perry picked up on the potential for a story which means that it's only a matter of time until _someone_ writes it. Might as well be one of the best." He flashed Kara a warm smile. "But I really have to go. We'll talk more when I get back."  
  
"Definitely. Be careful, Kal."

"You sound like Lois. You be careful too." He grinned and took a few steps backward before melting into the small crowd of people milling out onto the sidewalk. "Oh," he said, turning back towards Kara. "If you do run into them, don't take it personally if they don't talk much."  
  


* * *

With all the two had to catch up on, dinner passed a bit too quickly for Lena's liking. Over crème brûlée that Lena only picked at to stop Diana from fussing, she told her some stories about growing up on Themyscira that Lena found fascinating. Not so fascinating that she had stopped monitoring the sun's position in the sky as it dipped lower and lower but enough for her to forget for a little while about the painful ache in her heart. Moments like these were like finding a small oasis in a desert that stretched onward endlessly into the horizon. Sometimes it was spending an entire day in her lab tinkering with a new piece of tech that kept her mind from wandering down a path that by this point was well-worn and familiar. Other times it was dinner with Sam or patrolling the city until the first streaks of dawn threaded the purple sky.  
  
She would have been happy to part with Diana at the restaurant but she had insisted on walking Lena back to L-Corp, something that Lena didn't try all that hard to dissuade her from. She enjoyed Diana's company and with how busy both of them were there were very few chances of their paths crossing. "You headed to Gotham tonight?" Lena asked when the two of them stopped in front of the L-Corp building. Some employees were still filing out of the building, most of them leaving with their heads bent to better shield themselves from the wind but a few of them were in groups of two and three chatting animatedly with one another.  
  
"I might," Diana said and cast her gaze off in Gotham's direction. "I'd offer to stay and offer you some backup but I'm guessing that you would refuse," she said sounding amused.  
  
"That's a _very_ good guess." Lena smiled and shook her head. "I can handle myself and I worry about Alfred," she teased. "Knocking around in the manor with nothing but Bruce for company. _Ghastly."_  
  
"I'll tell him you said hi," Diana said and pulled Lena into a very tight hug. "If you do get in over your head—"  
  
"Still need to steal one of Bruce's spotlights."  
  
"— _call_ me."

"I will," Lena promised. "But I won't need to," she added as an afterthought when Diana turned to go.  
  
"Overconfidence is dangerous," Diana called back over her shoulder, waving to Lena warmly before she disappeared into the crowd.

* * *

Lena had kept a close eye on any news of Superman's presence in Markovia hitting the news cycle or the blogosphere but had come up with nothing which in this day and age was a small miracle. Not that she intended to take the night off. Suited up and standing on the roof of the L-Corp building the first flakes of snow cascading down as fine as wedding lace. It had an even more ethereal quality than usual looking at it through her suit's helmet and while it was insulated enough to where she hardly noticed the cold she knew how inimical the cold could be and how deeply it could chill when you were out in it long enough.

Starting her patrol she had taken what was fast becoming her usual patrol route. Starting from L-Corp she often radiated out in a circular pattern around the city while keeping her ear to the ground for any sign of anything that required her attention. The feed from the hundreds of security cameras from around the city was playing in a small portion of her HUD and when Lena grappled to another rooftop overlooking one of the larger banks in Metropolis instead of immediately making the leap to the next building she walked to the edge and sat down so that her feet dangled over the side.  
  
The bottom fell out of her stomach when she looked down and she forced herself to continue to do so until the feeling had passed. There were some nights where Lena's patrols ended early and with how quiet things had been so far, she was beginning to think that tonight would be as well. Thinking vaguely of brewing a cup of hot tea while she made the necessary preparations for tomorrow, she stood up, meaning to do one more lap around the city before she called it a night.  
  
Legs bent slightly, readying to dive, Lena heard the rustle of what she knew had to be a cape from overhead and paused. "Aren't you supposed to be in Markovia?" she asked, looking up, expecting to see Superman coming to touch down on the roof next to her and try and make small talk. Instead, she found herself looking up at Kara who landed a few feet away from her on the roof, toes touching down before landing.  
  
"Hi," Kara said awkwardly, raising her hand in a stiff greeting that one might use when making contact with an alien species.

_Fuck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really sorry for the lull between chapters. Work is always awful for me in December but things are hopefully winding down but I promise that the next chapter will be along much sooner. Hope everyone is doing well and staying safe. Be careful out there, or stay inside and read more fanfiction.
> 
> Next chapter will have a healthy dose of action with your mandatory sprinkling of angst
> 
> Come ask me things or bother me for updates [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/inkedroplets)


	14. Vigilante

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _I can feel the days grow cold  
>  Boy, I'd love a hand to hold  
> Is yours, is yours still for me, for me?  
> I know I don't deserve you back  
> But I'd really like it like that  
> Would you, would you like it too, it too?_  
> -Molly Burch 'Please Be Mine'

Despite all the preparations that Lena had made for this exact scenario she still felt rooted to the spot when she saw Kara touch down on the roof behind her. So convinced that Kara would somehow see through the lead shielding in her helmet to the person underneath or hear the unsteady beat of her heart despite her making sure that was impossible even for someone with super hearing, she found herself taking a defensive stance, one leg shifting back as if bracing herself for a physical confrontation. 

She watched Kara raise a hand to wave to her and waited for her to somehow see past Lena’s disguise. One moment passed and then another and Lena could still see that same awkwardly polite smile on Kara's face that one adopted when meeting someone new for the first time that you know has no interest in talking with you. 

"Hello," Lena said stiffly. She heard the metallic twang of her suit's voice filter that she had become more accustomed to since putting on the suit and felt a little more at ease when she didn't notice any change in Kara’s body language. 

“Do you need something?” Lena asked. She had to resist the urge to cross her arms over her chest. It hadn’t been all that long since she had seen Kara, the gala hadn’t been that long ago but it had been several months since she had seen her as Supergirl… Seeing her now, brought back memories that she had tried packing away on a high shelf in her mind. Memories of the hurt she had carried around for weeks while pretending that everything was just fine. Of her desperate attempt to take away not just her own pain but everyone else’s… Of the two of them in the Fortress together… 

"I didn't mean to bother you. Superman asked me if I could do a patrol or two around the city while he’s gone. I saw you while I was flying and thought it would be rude to not introduce myself. I’m—   
  
_ Kara Danvers… _

“—Supergirl.” She pointed unnecessarily to the symbol on her chest and slowly stuck out her hand to offer up a handshake looking far more shrewd than Kara ever did outside her supersuit.   
  
Perhaps if this very scenario had played out not long after Lena had found out that Kara had been lying to her, she might have found some grim satisfaction in turning the tables on Kara like this, on being the one hiding their true self behind a mask, but now, she felt nothing but a niggling of guilt that was already threatening to blossom into something much larger in the pit of her stomach. 

“I know who you are,” Lena said. She took Kara’s hand and gave it one firm pump before relinquishing her hold on it. The urge to fall backward and swing off into the night was attractive and something she might have done so if she knew how easy it would be for Kara to not just keep pace with her but fly literal circles around her.    
  
“I’ve heard a little about you too. From Superman.” She nodded to herself and took a step back, her right hand coming to rest on her hip. “While he's gone we might run into each other again.”   
  
“Maybe,” Lena said noncommittally, hoping very much that wasn't the case.   
  
Kara took another small step back as if trying to calm a particularly skittish animal and cleared her throat. “I’ll leave you to it then.”   
  
“Supergirl…”   
  
“Yeah?” Kara had already risen several feet into the air and turned back to face Lena, some snow collecting on her broad shoulders that she hardly seemed to notice.    
  
“Tonight’s been pretty quiet but once word gets around that Superman is out of the country, I’m sure that someone will want to take advantage of that.”   
  
Kara nodded. “Good thing we’ll be around then, right?” She offered up a very small smile and nodded to Lena before flying off, quickly becoming a red and blue blur that Lena had trouble following even with her suit’s HUD tracking her as she left.   


* * *

Some days, Kara felt as if the two essential halves of herself were living entirely separate lives. Her life in Metropolis as Kara Danvers and her one as Supergirl back in National City. Instead of working together in tandem, she felt like the two were more often at odds with one another. The memory of being pulled away from the gala when all she wanted to do was have a little more time with Lena still fresh in her mind. Tonight, however, she felt that delicate equilibrium shift back closer to what it had been before. After her patrol tonight she would return to her apartment much like she did when she lived in National City, take a very hot shower, and spend what little time remained before she had to sleep curled up by the window watching the snowfall.    
  


Her brief introduction with the mystery vigilante had gone about as well as Kal had seemed to expect it to. They really hadn’t been that talkative, but Kara hadn’t expected them to be, not when they had gone to such lengths to stay anonymous. 

_ Lead shielding… Not everyone can hide behind a pair of glasses,  _ she reminded herself, scanning the streets below, looking and listening for any signs of trouble.

After another hour of flying around the city, the only thing that had drawn her attention was just how high the snow had drifted up in some places, half-burying some of the cars parked along the street. Something that she easily remedied by flying lower, putting on just enough speed to blow enough of the snow away so that their owners wouldn’t need to spend ten minutes digging them out before heading to work. 

When she was ready to call it a night, and covered head to toe in snow, Kara veered off slightly to point herself in the direction of her apartment. Instead of making a beeline there, she found herself taking a slight detour that while she never would have admitted out loud, knew that it would take her by Lena’s penthouse. 

She made the same detour every time that she returned to National City on the weekends, never flying low enough to be seen and lingering only long enough to listen for the sound of Lena’s heartbeat. She didn’t hear it often and while she had initially chalked it up to Lena simply working late at L-Corp, there was another theory that Kara found far less palatable and one that she tried to push from her mind as she came to a stop high above Lena’s apartment.    
  
_ Are you with him?  _   
  


* * *

  
  
Sam was waiting for Lena in her office, sitting in her chair with one foot propped up on an open drawer of her desk when Lena came strolling in a little after nine o’clock with a coffee clutched in one hand and a flash drive in the other.    
  
“Shouldn’t you be on your way to Aspen, by now?” Lena glanced down at her watch to check that it really was the twenty-third of December. Now that Sam had taken over as CEO and no longer had to juggle daily meetings and conference calls, she found her losing track of the days, no doubt exacerbated by the unconventional hours she kept.    
  
“My flight doesn’t leave for a few more hours,” Sam said. “Ruby’s riding to the airport with her friend Grace and I thought I should try one more time to get you to come along.” She let her foot slide off the drawer and stood up. “Awkward conversation with people you don’t know, hurtling down an ice-covered mountain with two bits of wood strapped to your feet, you’d really be missing out. Not to mention the cold,” Sam added in a falsely cheery tone as if that sweetened the pot.

“As tempting as it sounds to spend time with you and Ruby,” Lena said sincerely. “I got all the skiing out of my system back in boarding school.” Lillian had shipped her off to boarding school as quickly as she could and when the winter holidays had rolled around she hadn’t been in a hurry to return home to a place she clearly was not wanted and had therefore spent many of her Christmases on the slopes. “If I went now I’d probably end up breaking something.”   
  
“Says the woman who now spends her evenings gallivanting on rooftops?” 

“Which just goes to show how dangerous skiing is,” Lena countered, narrowing her eyes slightly, her mouth curving into an almost malicious-looking grin.   
  
“If I have my way, I’ll be curled up next to the fire with a mug of cocoa beside me for most of the trip.  _ Hopefully  _ without Grace’s mom talking my ear off the whole time.” Sam crossed her fingers together tightly and held them out in front of her but didn’t look all that hopeful about that actually happening. 

“I would,” Lena said and held her gaze when Sam looked back at her skeptically. “ _ Really _ ,” she insisted. “But I need to be here. Superman is away for a few days and I should be here to keep an eye on things.”    
  
Sam gaped at her, smirking a little. “Working with Superman, now? You do have a type,” she teased.   
  
“God, no. Just…” She found herself drawing a blank, snapping her fingers trying to coax out an answer.   
  
“Professional courtesy?” Sam suggested, looking amused.    
  
“Let’s go with that,” Lena agreed, thinking it best to simply ignore that particular topic if possible.   
  
“He’s not on Christmas vacation while leaving you to pick up the slack, is he?” Sam asked indignantly, a hand creeping down to rest on her hip and one of her eyebrows arching up at a dangerous angle. 

“I don’t think he does take vacations,” Lena said, suddenly seized with the mental image of Superman skiing down a steep mountain with his cape billowing out behind him, goggles strapped to his forehead. “I’m sure nothing major will happen,” Lena said. “And Supergirl will be around so you have nothing to worry about, Sam.”    
  
“Supergirl?” Sam asked, looking confused. “What? Did she follow you to Metropolis?” Sam teased.   
  
_ I don’t know…  _   
  
“I ran into her last night,” Lena said, trying not to let the confusion show on her face. “Superman must have called in a favor. Asked her to keep an eye on things, so you have nothing to worry about.”   
  
“Yeah, that doesn’t work when Ruby tells me that and it’s not going to work now,” Sam said, looking disappointed that Lena had even tried. “But since you insist on staying and I won’t be here to give you your Christmas present, I left it in your desk drawer. Just promise me you won’t open it until Christmas.” 

“I was probably going to rip it open the second you left my office,” Lena teased, setting her coffee down on the edge of her desk and walking around it. “I have yours too.” She opened another drawer and pulled out a small box wrapped in silver paper. “It’s not much,” she warned. “Ruby’s present was a little big to carry around so it's back at my place. She’ll have to wait until you’re back to open it.”   
  
“If you bought her a drum set you better have bought me matching earplugs.”   
  
“Must have slipped my mind,” Lena snarked.   
  
“I’ll just have to wait until Christmas to see, won’t I?” She took the present from Lena and didn’t ask before wrapping her up in a tight hug. “Promise me that you’ll be careful, okay?”    
  
“I promise, Sam. If Ruby drags you out of that comfy chair by the fire, maybe stick to the beginner slopes?” 

Sam chuckled. “Yeah, she’ll have to try  _ very  _ hard to get me to budge so maybe want to wish her luck on that one.” She pulled away from the hug and checked her watch. “I should probably head out though.”   
  
“Yeah,” Lena agreed and gave her a little nudge on the shoulder. “I won’t be staying very long myself, I was just coming up here to drink my coffee and then I was going to go down to the lab for a bit.” It really would need to be just a bit today. She needed to go home and get a little more sleep before tonight. She was no longer running at a deficit like she so often did when her life revolved around L-Corp but she certainly didn’t have any extra to draw on either. Even a couple more hours would blunt the tiredness that came from her vigilante work and more importantly keep her alert. Something that both Bruce and Diana had stressed the importance of during their training.    
  
“I’ll text when I can and I’ll give you a call on Christmas.”   
  
“Wouldn’t miss it,” Lena said.    
  
Sam took one small step towards the office door, stopped, and turned back around to face Lena.    
  
“What are you thinking, Sam?”   
  
Sam let out a sound that might have been a sigh. “I think you know,” she said, her gaze fixed over Lena’s shoulder to the window behind her.    
  
“And I think you’ll miss your flight if you don’t get a move on.”    
  
“Fair enough,” Sam said and gave a little bow as if conceding to Lena before she turned back around and walked out of the office, waving to Lena over her shoulder on her way to the elevator.  "You know you don't need to schedule an interview to talk to her, you know?" Sam called over her shoulder.  
  
Lena returned the wave, pretending she hadn't heard that last parting bit of advice, and watched Sam walk to the elevator before she turned back to the window, groping for her coffee on the desk as her gaze settled on the Daily Planet’s building, eyes drawn to the globe that was reflecting the weak winter sun.

* * *

  
Settled in at her desk with the manilla folder that Perry had given Kara the day before, she had the stump of a muffin on her desk that she would pick at now and again, tearing off chunks of it while being careful not to get crumbs everywhere as she did while she looked over the several eyewitness reports that Perry had gathered.    
  
Some were less than helpful and if Kara was being completely honest seemed a waste of the paper they were written on but they were at least  _ somewhat  _ entertaining.  _ Don’t suppose I could ask them for a sitdown interview,  _ she mused, wondering how well that might go over after the somewhat chilly reception she had received the night before. 

She popped another bite of muffin into her mouth and made a face when she realized that had been the last of it. Balling up the napkin she had been using as a makeshift plate she tossed it into the garbage and was entertaining the idea of offering to go on a coffee run for the office if only for an excuse to grab another muffin (or two) when her phone rattled across her desk and she picked it up without checking to see who was calling.    
  
Alex would have been her first and most logical guess with the rest of the Super Friends all running about neck and neck. What they could want so early in the morning usually spelled trouble but if that were the case then they would have used the signal watch.    
  
“Hello?”   
  
“ _ I’m not calling you in the middle of a meeting, am I?”  _   
  
“Perry doesn’t like morning meetings,” Kara said, careful to keep her voice just low enough to not disturb her deskmate.    
  
“ _ Well, I get why you made the move to Metropolis, then. Can you chat for a bit?”  _   
  
Kara pulled her chair up closer to her desk, muffin-run all but forgotten. “I always have time for you, Sam. Is everything OK?” 

“ _ Everything’s peachy. I’m actually waiting for my flight to be called.  _

“You’re leaving today,” Kara said, leaning back in her seat and peeking at her calendar. “When are you coming back? We need to get together when you do.”

_ “First of the year. I’m already dreading what my inbox is going to look like after that much time away. Lena’s probably going to have to send in a search party to look for me when I start sifting through that thing.”  _   
  
“Don’t let that put a damper on your vacation,” Kara scolded. “I wish you and Ruby were sticking around for the holidays though.”   
  
“ _ That makes two of us, but Ruby’s never been skiing and she’s very persuasive. That’s actually why I’m calling.”  _   
  
“Do you have some plants that need watering?” 

_ “No, but you would be the first person I would call if I did. I know that you’re flying back to National City for Christmas, when are you leaving exactly?” _ _   
_ _   
_ “Tomorrow evening. I was actually supposed to leave this afternoon but something at work came up.” Truthfully, her duties at The Daily Planet amounted to nothing more than busywork that she could have done from the comfort of her own home if she had wanted. She had put out a number of feelers, got in touch with a few of the eyewitnesses that had (or at least claimed to have) spotted the vigilante in action, and was waiting to hear back from one of them. But she had promised Kal that she would keep an eye on Metropolis and Kara thought it best that she make that the priority before she jetted off to put up decorations with Alex.    
  
“ _ Flying out on Christmas Eve? Ouch. Even just going back to National City, I don’t even want to imagine the crowd at the airport.”  _

“It probably won't be all that bad,” Kara said, trying to ignore the quick little stab of guilt that was more like a jab, just enough to remind her that it was there and wasn’t likely to go anywhere anytime soon. She had kept Sam in the dark just like she had Lena and while the circumstances as to why couldn’t be more different, she still couldn’t help but feel that she owed Sam an explanation.

_ “Always love your optimism. But before they call my row to start boarding, I thought I should let you know that Lena isn’t doing anything for Christmas. I mean, she’ll be working, obviously, because it’s Lena, but that’s about it. I invited her to come along but I don’t think the prospect of skiing with strangers was all that appealing.”  _   
  
“No plans?” Kara asked, sounding surprised. “I thought she would have made plans with the billionaire she’s  _ dating _ …” she said, not meaning to but spitting the last word like it was poison on her tongue   
  
“ _ Wayne? No. They’re not dating. I was worried about that too, but, no. I don’t know why I was ever worried, I mean, they’re not exactly Lena’s type but I’ve seen her turn down cake before so I know she’s not immune to making terrible decisions.” _ _   
_ _   
_ Lena wasn’t dating Bruce Wayne. Probably wasn't dating  _ anyone. _ The joy Kara felt upon realizing this was short-lived, however. She had  _ hated  _ the idea of Lena dating someone that Kara thought so wholly incompatible, so unworthy of her but she hated the thought of Lena spending Christmas alone even more. 

_ “Just don’t be shy about giving her a call. I know you two aren’t really talking but I know it would mean a lot to her… But they’re calling seats. I need to round up Ruby and make sure she gets on the plane, I don't want a Home Alone situation on my hands.” _

“Wouldn’t want that,” Kara agreed. “Fly safe and have a wonderful Christmas, Sam. Tell Ruby that I owe her a hot chocolate when she gets back.”   
  
_ “Something that I’m sure she’ll take you up on. You too, Kara. We’ll get lunch when I get back… I’m sure we’ll have a lot to catch up on.”  _

* * *

The weather forecast for Metropolis had promised a white Christmas although Lena hadn’t realized just how white. Last night’s snowfall had continued until the wee hours of the morning and started up again a little after lunch. When Lena woke up from her cat nap around four o’clock, there was already a fresh inch and a half of snow on the ground with more on the way.   
  
Back at the office, she had set aside her usual projects to chip away at some of Sam’s work that would be waiting for her after Christmas. She had done a far better job than Bruce at keeping abreast of what was happening at L-Corp even when she was only tangentially involved and while it had been some time since she had taken on any real work at the company Lena found it like riding a bike. Signing off on a boilerplate funding request she set it aside and was reaching for another paper to pluck off the stack when there was a knock at her door.

“Jess, I told you ages ago that you don’t need to stay until I leave the office. Especially today. You should be off enjoying your holiday. Almost everyone else has already left.”

“I would have to but I’m flying back home for Christmas and my flight isn’t until tonight. Just easier for me to head right to the airport from here. I pack light,” she added with a smile.

“A rare skill,’ Lena applauded, thinking of just how many times she had watched passengers attempt to bend time and space to fit an overly large suitcase in the overhead bin.”Christmas with family, I’m guessing.”   
  
Jess nodded. “Probably  _ too much _ family, but then it wouldn’t be Christmas,” she said airily. “Speaking of...” She held up a small gift wrapped in red and green paper and offered it to Lena.

“Jess… You really didn’t need to.” Instead of reaching for the present, Lena opened one of her desk drawers and reached past a picture of her and Kara together sitting together on Kara’s couch after another win at game night, and grabbed a small box from inside, her fingers brushing briefly against the picture frame.    
  
“I  _ did  _ get you something though,” Lena said, holding it out to Jess and exchanging presents with her.

“It’s not much,” Jess said quickly as Lena tore the paper off. “It’s a hot chocolate kit that I put together. You  _ do  _ drink hot chocolate, I hope,” she said, looking worried, the thought clearly crossing her mind for the first time.   
  
“I  _ do _ ,” Lena said, laughing and watched as Jess opened her present, working her fingers under the seams delicately lifting the paper away instead of tearing it.   
  
“It’s my mother in me,” Jess said as if she could read Lena’s mind. “She always made us save the wrapping paper. That’s why Christmas morning took forever.” She rolled her eyes and finished unwrapping the gift, turning over the book inside carefully in her hands.    
  
“It’s a first edition of T.S. Elliot poems that I’m really fond of. I thought you might like it.”    
  
“This is too much,” Jess said, sounding scandalized. “I can’t—”   
  
“You can,” Lena said firmly. “The book of poetry you got me for my birthday… I still read it,” she said. The book had a near-permanent place on the nightstand by her bed and even with her being supremely careful with it the same way she was worth every one of her books, she could still see the signs of wear and tear along the spine that proved it was read often. “And I am a billionaire, I can afford to splurge a bit on my…” She paused. “Friends.”   
  
“Well, I would have baked you some cookies if I had known you were going to get me something so sweet.” Jess smiled warmly and looked back at the clock hanging over the door. “Are you headed home soon? You’re not working over Christmas, are you?”    
  
“No,” Lena fibbed.  _ At least not paperwork…  _ “And I'll be leaving soon." She had been watching the sun dip lower out of the corner of her eye and knew it wouldn't be much longer until it had disappeared completely. 

“That’s a relief.” Jess smiled and very carefully nestled the book of poetry into her purse. "Are you and Miss Prince celebrating together or is it too soon? Or is me asking too over the line?" She shuffled back towards the door as if she expected to be banished for having the gall to ask such an impertinent question. 

"Too soon?" Lena cocked her head at an angle and connected the dots after a moment's contemplation, Jess's thumbs up from the other day suddenly making much more sense. "Oh, Jess, Diana, and I are just friends…”   
  
“Oh…”

Before Jess had time to utter even a quick sorry, Lena waved a hand out in front of her, giving the all-clear. “You asking about what little there is of my social life is most definitely not over the line,” she assured her with a wry smile.   
  
“Still, I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. I did think you two looked good together,” Jess said, looking somewhat dejected as if she found the whole turn of events somewhat disappointing.

“So sorry to disappoint,” Lena teased. “But I really shouldn’t keep you, Jess. With how hard it's snowing it might be a good idea to go to the airport a little earlier than usual. I wouldn’t want you to miss your flight.”   
  
“Temping,” she admitted. “But I really should go… Have a good Christmas, Miss- Lena,” she said, correcting herself before Lena had a chance to.    
  
“You too, Jess.” She waved to her and did so again when Jess waved to her halfway to the elevators. Eyeing the monolith of papers that she had intended to cut down to size looked just as intimidating as it had when Lena had sat down to work, she let out a little sigh of discontent.  _ Gives you something to do over Christmas,  _ she told herself as she pushed her chair away from her desk, thinking vaguely of squeezing a bit more lab time in before she went out for the night. 

* * *

News of Superman being in Markovia had spread like wildfire and by the time evening rolled around, Lena had turned off the alert she had set to track the number of articles that had quickly sprung up like dandelions in an open field, sure that only those living under very heavy rocks would have remained in the dark and she was sure that everyone who might have found such information useful had surely already made it their business to know.

Truthfully, Lena didn’t fear an attack on the city or some similar catastrophe. Something of that magnitude wouldn’t go unanswered but she did fear his absence being the deciding factor in someone on the brink of a very bad decision to finally make it. 

She might have been more worried about a rash of street crime around the city if not for the frigid temperatures and snow that had driven most people indoors.  _ Metropolis’s biggest crime deterrents seem to be Superman and inclement weather _ , she mused, wondering if a blizzard might do a better job than her in keeping the city safe. 

It was a little after eight o’clock when the HUD of Lena’s helmet flashed and a number of different security cameras all centered around the warehouse district enlarged into view on one side of her helmet’s display. The footage was obscured by snow but she saw what had tripped her sensors. A small convoy of vehicles filtered past the security feed before another camera view replaced it, only able to catch them from an awkward angle as they pulled into one of the many warehouses near the water. 

_ Yeah, that’s not at all suspicious. _

Searching for a camera that offered a better angle she only found a view of the rear entrance which was no help, making a mental note to remedy that as soon as possible. Too far to travel even as the crow flies she punched in the coordinates of another warehouse not far from the one she was still monitoring. Touching a small button on her left gauntlet, she watched as a small portal opened up in front of her, just big enough for her to step through. 

It was the only tech in her suit that was not wholly her own. She had made her own modifications but the invention was Lex’s. Knowing that she had gone back and forth about including it at all. But without another mode of transportation and unwilling to entertain the idea of driving an armored tank around the city like Bruce it had seemed too useful not to include it.   
  
_ You’d hate to know that your invention was being used to help people, Lex…  _ Her mouth curved into a bitter smile that threatened to dredge up memories she had tried her hardest to bury and forced herself to move her legs, stepping through the portal.

* * *

  
The scant amount of work that Kara had tried to stretch out until evening had been too insubstantial for her to even make it through the afternoon and had called it a day not long after she had taken her lunch break. Wishing the few people that were still working a good holiday she had stepped out onto a snow-covered street with even more coming down, bowing her head as she walked to try and protect her glasses. 

Using the afternoon to get in a little last-minute Christmas shopping in, Kara joined the throngs of people that were all in the same boat. The procrastinators and the desperate as they searched desperately for the right gift or at the very least to avoid buying the  _ wrong  _ one. When she spotted a heavy-set man with salt and pepper hair eyeing the dishwashers on display in the store. So concerned for his well-being she had caught his eye and shook her head forebodingly. A message that seemed well-received as he had scampered off to another department with a very hurried thank you followed by a stream of expletives muttered under his breath as he jogged up an escalator. 

More looking for stocking stuffers than anything else, Kara had flitted from store to store, rudderless, and after a few fruitless hours, had walked out with nothing. Trudging home in what were the makings of a blizzard that she hardly noticed, her mind kept returning to her conversation with Sam. Of course, she knew that Sam was going skiing, which had been in the book for weeks now and she had just assumed that Lena would be spending her Christmas elsewhere… If she had known, then… “Then what?” she said aloud, fumbling for the keys to her apartment as she took the stairs instead of the elevator, too full of nervous energy to wait for it. 

* * *

Taking a moment to orient herself, Lena found herself facing the bay standing atop one of the many warehouses. Except for the few street lights below, there was no other source of light save for a dull orange glow in one of the windows of the warehouse she had been monitoring.

Stepping lightly across the flat roof, careful not to slip, Lena was able to make her way soundlessly over to the warehouse with little trouble, stopping briefly to take stock of her entrances. The numerous windows offered her a flashier entrance that she quickly relegated to 'Plan B' in her head. Using the thermal imaging in her helmet, she counted over a dozen people inside. Most were grouped in a large cluster gathered in the center of the room while three stood guard at the front door and two others near the back. 

_ What do you like to call it Bruce? Theatricality? _ Despite her nervousness, Lena found herself grinning. Bruce was normally a man of few words, to Lena, the walking definition of taciturn and to hear something so flowery come from his mouth was still amusing to her. Reaching inside the small compartment in her right gauntlet she pulled out a small sphere no larger than a marble and rolled it in her palm. A tiny nano drone that she was still tinkering with. She threw it up into the air where it stopped halfway up, hovering before it descended low enough to offer a view into the warehouse that popped up on her HUD. Satisfied, Lena crept across the roof, careful to keep her steps light, and rappelled down the side of the warehouse.

Running a last-minute check on her suit, watching the diagnostics in the corner of her HUD, Lena unsheathed her baton and pressed a finger to the warehouse wall. There was the obligatory whine as the directional mic in her suit calibrated itself and another agonizing moment that made her wince for the volume to level itself out.  _ Definitely need to fix that,  _ she thought, kicking herself.

_ “—Whole shebang will set you back ten mill.” _

_ “Seems a little steep,”  _ a dissenting voice grunted. 

_ “You want to haggle, do it with someone else, this is a one-night-only fire sale. Not that I want to tell you how to run your business but I wouldn’t be caught dead peddling weapons in Metropolis with the Kryptonian flying around.” _

_ “Why do you think we called you? Besides, that asshole is halfway around the world right now, playing Kevin Costner to the King in Markovia, you’re fine. But if you want us to buy…” _

_ Weapon smuggling,  _ Lena thought, maneuvering the drone so that she could get a better look at just what was being sold. Not an expert by any stretch of the imagination she could still recognize a large stash of AK-47’s lined up like toy soldiers and a number of smaller arms.  _ Ten million for all of that? It doesn’t make any sense… Unless there’s something else… _

Watching the feed from the drone, Lena watched as one of the men lifted the lining of the trunk and heaved out what looked like a thick steel chest.    
  
_ What the hell is that…  _

Lena got her answer a moment later when the top was lifted and the faces of the two men were illuminated a sickly green color.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the mini-cliffhanger! The chapter turned out to be a whole lot longer than I intended, so long that I had to chop it in two and change the title. Next chapter will be out this week! 
> 
> Come ask me things or bother me for updates [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/inkedroplets)


	15. Auld Lang Syne

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Christmas will break your heart  
>  If your world is feeling small  
> There's no one on the phone  
> You feel close enough to call_
> 
> _But still, I'm coming home to you_  
>   
>  -LCD Soundsystem 'Christmas Will Break Your Heart'

Lena watched with mounting horror as one of the men brought out what looked like a knife and held it up, deftly flipping it over in his hand into a reverse grip before setting it back inside. 

_Where the fuck did they get kryptonite?_ Lena wondered, wishing she had a better view of what was inside the chest, sending the drone around to another window. Before she could maneuver it into position, the man who Lena presumed was in charge of brokering the deal snapped the lid shut. 

_“Ten million,”_ the man repeated. “ _You think you can find another seller you’re happy to ask around but don’t bother calling us again. We—”_

The next thing out of his mouth was drowned out by a fuzz of static loud enough to make Lena groan. Her hand was trembling and that slight movement had been just enough to break the connection. Instead of trying to listen in on the remainder of their conversation. Lena took a step back from the door, not caring much if they found the terms agreeable or not when she was going to stop them. 

Priming the drone to crash through the window, she had to hope that would be enough of a distraction enough for her to thin their numbers enough before they had a chance to scatter. There was a better plan, a _safer_ plan that Lena knew she would find if she was just a bit more patient. But that ship had sailed the second that she saw they had kryptonite. 

She clenched and unclenched her still shaking hands, trying to work them like a kind of pressure valve, to release some of the anger that was licking at her insides and making her temples throb almost painfully, making it hard for Lena to remember much from her training except where she needed to hit someone when she wanted them to stay down. _Don’t get sloppy,_ she told herself, repeating the same advice that Bruce had given her whenever he had caught Lena with her guard down or overextending on a hit. 

It was advice that was equal parts good luck charm and mantra that she sometimes repeated to herself before donning her suit. It had a way of centering her, a somewhat bleak reminder of the enormity of the risk she was taking. But no matter how many times she repeated it in her head, the same mental image kept intruding and making it hard to focus on anything else. The memory was often a recurring nightmare for Lena. Of her and Kara in the Fortress together… Trapping her… Hurting her…

She heard the warehouse window shatter as if from far away, the sound even more pronounced thanks to the unique stillness that Winter provided, and took a breath before she kicked in the door.

The two guarding the rear door were far enough away that the swinging door missed both of them but with their guns at their side, Lena used the brief moment of confusion to her advantage and knocked one of them off-balance before they had a chance to react, sweeping her foot out and lifting just enough to send him sprawling painfully on his back landing hard, bringing her foot down onto his solar plexus hearing him let out a hard exhale of air in a wheeze that _sounded_ painful. 

Out of the corner of her eye, Lena could see the other would-be lookout fumble for his own gun, his stubby index finger dangerously close to the trigger before Lena brought her baton crashing down onto it, following that up with a blow on the chin that sent him crumpling to the ground. Without missing a beat, knowing that the already narrow window of surprise that her entrance had bought her was closing, she reached into a compartment on her gauntlet and threw a smoke pellet to the ground just as the first wave of gunfire began.   
  


* * *

Kara had come to the same conclusion as Lena that the cold weather might have played a large part in why Metropolis was so quiet even with news of Superman being _far_ out of the country. It wasn’t just the snow that was coming down in droves but how bitterly cold the nights had been in the week leading up to Christmas driving most people indoors and to online shop instead of braving the elements to do so.

Out on patrol, Kara kept finding herself being pulled inexorably in the direction of Lena’s apartment. And every time Kara realized this, she assuaged her mounting guilt by reminding herself that she was simply keeping Metropolis safe, and while her route wasn’t the most efficient she made up for it in speed. She was flying right over The Daily Planet when she heard a sound that she was far too used to hearing. She came to an immediate stop and changed directions, flying in the direction of the gunfire.

* * *

Crouched low to the ground with her arms up in front of her like a boxer in a peek-a-boo stance, Lena braced herself just in time as the suit’s energy shields sprung into being, glowing blue and seeming to crackle as they deflected a surprising amount of gunfire some of it clattering to the ground and some shots going wild and ricocheting breaking a few window panes. 

Waiting until the cloud of smoke had spread enough for her to make her escape, Lena dove into it both to make herself a smaller target and to get closer to the cluster of men who instead of drawing closer together which would have made her job harder had begun to spread out.  
  
 _Good,_ she thought savagely.

Moving among the smoke, Lena had a sudden newfound appreciation for all the times that Bruce had made her train in the pitch dark of the cave. Stepping silently and putting more into her strikes than she normally would, taking advantage of the stealth the smoke provided, wanting her blows to count, wanting them to hurt, weaving through them, not remaining in any one spot for long.   
  
As the smoke began to clear, Lena still counted five men. All of them gravitating toward the others, knitting together, obviously pinning their safety on the hypothesis of safety in numbers. Only one was stupid enough to rush her, head lowered like a bull and holding the pistol in his hand like a club. “Who the fuck are you?!” he bellowed, a mess of red hair bouncing along with his sizeable gut as he ran.

Lena recognized the voice. He was the one that was giving the others his best sales pitch. Eyes narrowed to slits underneath her helmet, she glanced behind her doing some very quick math before she punched a few buttons on the inside of her gauntlet. She stepped forward to meet the charging man, planting her back foot and shifting her weight to deliver a savage front thrust kick that sent him scrabbling backward. Before he had a chance to right himself or fall backward completely, he teetered into a waiting portal that had opened so suddenly it looked as if he had been gobbled up by some invisible creature. 

Twisting around she threw her fist out in an arc behind her just as the other end of the portal opened behind her. She felt her fist hit home followed by a heavy thud as he hit the ground at her feet. 

Turning her attention to the few that remained she expected them to scatter or to open fire on her again. What Lena hadn’t expected to see was the tallest of the group make a mad dive for the chest, his fingers fumbling with the latch while the other three opened fire on her.   
  
She felt one shot hit her in the chest that felt to Lena like being punched very hard. Her suit was bulletproof but she was sure there would be a bruise there come morning. Raising her arms out in front of her she knelt low, protecting not just herself but the man she had just knocked unconscious. _No honor among thieves,_ Lena thought, relieved when they finally stopped shooting, seemingly out of ammo.

The next moment, there was a loud bang behind her, and Lena watched out of the corner of her eye as the front door of the warehouse sailed past her and skidded along the floor, producing an agonizing whine as metal scraped against cement before it finally came to a stop against a faraway wall.   
  
“I heard gunshots.”   
  
_Oh, God…_   
  
Lena turned her head, horrified to see Kara hovering a few feet in the air before landing next to her. “You can’t be here,” Lena said, planting herself between Kara and the other men.   
  
“I can’t just _not_ come,” Kara said, sounding annoyed.

“They have kryptonite,” Lena hissed, pointing back towards the door that Kara had blown off its hinges the same way an angry parent might send a child to their room to think about what they’ve done. “You need to go. Now!” She tried to give Kara a push to get moving and only succeeded in sending painful vibrations shooting up her arms not budging Kara in the slightest.

“Kryptonite?” Lena watched a bolt of fear dart across Kara’s face, suddenly much more Kara Danvers than Supergirl and she felt her temper flare white-hot again.

“Just go!" Lena pleaded, giving Kara another useless shove. "I can—”  
  
Lena’s voice fell away when she saw out of the corner of her eye what the man had pulled from the metal chest, like a magician revealing his last, most terrible trick. The gun looked completely ordinary but it was the magazine that she watched him load that made her heart stop, seeing that familiar green glow. She tightened her grip on her staff that had very nearly slipped through fingers that suddenly felt numb. She could feel her stomach twist itself up into a knot that even Alexander the Great might have trouble cutting, aimed, and threw as hard as she could.   
  
Time seemed to slow and Lena heard the gunshot as if from far away followed shortly by a howl of pain that reverberated with a watery echo in the warehouse and watched as both the gun and her staff clattered to the floor while the shooter fell to his knees clutching his clearly broken wrist. The remaining three who had seemingly taken a wait and see approach turned in unison and began to run for the rear door.   
  
Before Lena could so much as recall her staff back to her hand she felt an icy chill slide down her back despite her suit and watched as a gust of icy wind blasted all four of them back hard enough to send them careening into the wall where they landed hard.   
  
“You should never have come here,” Lena hissed, rounding on Kara when she saw that none of the men so much as stirred after landing, not knowing if she was speaking about the warehouse or Metropolis in general. Her eyes roamed frantically, looking for any sign of pain on Kara’s face and breathing a small sigh of relief when she saw none. “I had it under control. I told you they had kryptonite! You should have left immediately. You should—” 

“You’re bleeding…” Kara said interrupting Lena’s outburst, taking a step forward, reaching for her, looking concerned.  
  
“I know,” Lena said quickly, taking a step back, her hand going to her right shoulder. She probed the wound she found there gingerly and let out a little hiss of pain when she pressed a little too hard. Her suit _was_ bulletproof but she hadn’t taken kryptonite into account when she had been building her suit and that it seemed could penetrate it easily enough. _I suppose this could pass for irony,_ Lena thought, monitoring her own vitals on her suit’s HUD. The bullet had only grazed her but it had dug a deep furrow along her shoulder as it whizzed by. _A little further down and it might have hit my axial artery, then I would have been in trouble._

“Just a graze,” Lena said, taking a step back. “I’m _fine.”_ Already her suit was forming back over the wound and tightening around it more than it normally did to staunch the bleeding. It was only a temporary measure but it would have to do until she was able to get back to her lab.   
  
“Can you find the bullet,” Lena asked? “I could track the trajectory but I’m sure you can find it a lot faster.”   
  
Kara opened her mouth to say something but seemed to think better of it because she remained silent and swept her gaze slowly from left to right behind her. “Over there,” she said and pointed towards a large stack of pallets near the door that Kara had blown off the hinges, snow gusting into a miniature drift near the entrance.   
  
Walking briskly over to where Kara pointed, Lena felt some of her anger finally abate. Not entirely but her temples were no longer throbbing but her shoulder was starting to. Ignoring it, the same way she tried to ignore the relief she felt at knowing Kara was unharmed, she bent low, felt a twinge in her shoulder that made her grit her teeth and reached a hand in between the slats of a pallet and rolled out the bullet, still intact.   
  
Holding it up, she took a wide berth around Kara, unable to meet her gaze. She stopped briefly to pick up the gun that had been knocked to the ground and opened the chest that she knew now had to be made of lead. Inside were a number of weapons, daggers, what looked like brass knuckles tipped with kryptonite, and a small handful of bullets lined up neatly in two small rows near the back of the chest.   
  
Staring at the chest’s contents for a moment she tossed the bullet and the gun inside before she slammed the lid shut, letting out a loud exhale of breath. “Take this,” she said and gave the chest a particularly savage kick. “I can deal with them, I’ve already called the police. Bringing her hands together she produced a long length of thick wire and went about tying up the four that Kara had sent flying back into the rear wall, not being all that careful about how tight she made the knots. 

Glancing back at Kara, she could tell that she wanted to argue which made Lena want to scream. “If you wait until the police get here they’ll want to take the kryptonite into evidence lockup and while you’d have no trouble getting it out again, I’m sure you don’t want to have to do that,” she said testily. 

Lena was pleased to see that seemed to do the trick because Kara trudged forward, stepping over the man with the red hair, eyeing the trunk warily as if she expected it to come alive and try and bite her.   
  
“It’s lead,” Lena said, walking over to another man on the ground and tying his hands behind his back. “They’re stupid,” she said, her voice lathered in contempt as she looked around the room. “But they know enough to keep _that_ somewhere that Superman can’t sneak a peek inside.”  
  
“I should have been more careful,” Kara said. She lifted the trunk effortlessly with one arm, holding it out at an awkward angle with a placid expression on her face. “Being bulletproof sometimes makes you sloppy….”  
  
 _It’s like lifting a paperweight to you,_ Lena thought, unable to stop herself from marveling at Kara’s strength, despite her anger. “Yeah,” Lena said curtly and gestured to her injured shoulder. “Preaching to the choir…”   
  
“Are you sure you’ll be OK?”  
  
“Yes, Supergirl. I also would have been fine if you had stayed out of it as I asked. You have no reason to be here,” she said. _So, why did you come to Metropolis?_  
  
Kara took a hesitant step forward. “I’m sorry that you got hurt because of me, I—”  
  
"I don't need your sorry,” Lena snapped.  
  
Refusing to turn around, Lena heard a _whoosh_ a moment later and knew that Kara had gone. Tears began to fill her eyes and she let out a shuddering exhale. Relief and pain joined together until they were one, the knot in her stomach slowly untwisting itself.  
  
 _I’m sorry that you got hurt because of me._  
  
“That makes two of us," Lena whispered to herself, hearing the distant whine of approaching sirens.

* * *

Kara had planned on the first stop she made in National City to be Big Belly Burger. She was convinced that the burgers tasted far better there than any of the four locations in Metropolis. Instead, she had made an unscheduled stop at the DEO. Handing over the chest to two agents that looked perplexed as to where Kara had just stumbled across a chest of kryptonite weapons but not asking anything more than if she was alright before carrying it away. A part of her was relieved that Alex had already gone home for the day. If she had been there she would have wanted the whole story and Kara really wasn’t in the mood to give it. 

The vigilante’s words had stung Kara far more than they had any right to. Even as she flew off in the direction of Alex’s apartment, she found herself playing over bits of the conversation in her head, always returning to their last parting shot before Kara had flown off into the night.

_You have no reason to be here…_

"I do," Kara said aloud, trying to convince herself more than the masked vigilante.

* * *

“Be honest, did you fly back to my place so late because you wanted to get out of decorating?”  
  
Kara, who normally loved the sun, had buried her head into the cushion of Alex’s couch to keep it out of her eyes and let out a small groan when Alex began chucking throw pillows at her from the chair next to the couch. She raised one hand to fend off the barrage and only made Alex switch to aiming for her head instead of her body. “Too early,” she groaned, already aware that such pleading would only fall on deaf ears.   
  
“I left hanging all the lights for you,” Alex said, her tone the same one that Kara knew she used around the DEO. “Then we need to finish baking the cookies that I started. The dough is in the fridge, all we need to do is roll it out and bake it.”   
  
“Is that why there’s a biometric lock on the fridge?” Kara asked, her voice muffled, face still buried in the couch. "You thought I would eat all the cookie dough?"   
  
“Nice to know that you tried opening my fridge last night when you got in but didn’t wake me to say hello. Always nice to see where one’s priorities lie,” Alex snarked, throwing another pillow at Kara.   
  
“I got in late,” Kara said, flipping over onto her back and looking bleary-eyed back at Alex. “Before you put me to work I’m going to need coffee.”   
  
“Already made,” Alex said and pointed towards the kitchen. “You didn’t run into any problems in Metropolis, did you?” she asked, looking suddenly worried.   
  
“No,” Kara lied, shaking her head and mussing her hair even more than it already was. She had absolutely no desire to put a damper on Alex’s Christmas by telling her that there had been a group of thieves running around with a chestful of kryptonite weapons and thought that sitting on it for a bit longer would be better for everyone. She had spent a good portion of the night patrolling National city while she tried to clear her head. She hadn’t been all that successful and when she had flown into Alex’s apartment a little after three in the morning, she had laid awake on her couch for another hour before sleep had taken her.   
  
“Coffee,” Alex said and pointed again towards the kitchen. “Then we get to work.”   
  
Kara tipped her a very lazy salute and rolled off the couch, standing up and stretching. “It was your idea to throw the Christmas party this year,” she reminded Alex as if she had volunteered for something far more terrible than just hosting a party.   
  
“Which is why I enlisted someone who can hang Christmas lights up _really_ high without needing to use a ladder,” she said and patted Kara affectionately on the shoulder. 

* * *

  
Come evening, Alex’s apartment was adorned in all manner of Christmas lights, many of them hung delicately from the ceiling and every inch of counter space was filled with a selection of finger food and cookies that Alex had spent nearly a week prepping after very long shifts at the DEO. With Christmas music filtering out through a set of speakers in the corner of the room and snow falling outside that looked like it had no plan to stop anytime soon, it _felt_ like Christmas to Kara. It didn’t take long for those on their admittedly short guest list to begin arriving. Nia and Brainy were first to arrive, followed shortly by the rest of the Superfriends, each of them tracking in snow and bearing gifts. The last to arrive was Eliza, wearing a Christmas sweater adorned with a jolly snowman and snow caught in her hair, who pulled Kara into a very tight hug the moment that Kara opened the door for her.

Dinner together was spent crowded around Alex’s kitchen table with everyone sitting just a little too close to one another, elbows bumping now and again while everyone tried to maneuver their utensils in the limited space, Kara couldn’t help but steal a few glances back at Alex’s front door while they ate, even though everyone had already arrived, aware that Alex was watching her and met her inquiring gaze each time with a bright smile. 

* * *

  
“Alex is keeping you busy,” Eliza said, poking her head into the kitchen while Kara was doing the dishes, everyone else gathered in the living room fighting over what Christmas movie to put on.   
  
“I’m a lot faster than her dishwasher,” Kara said, pushing up her glasses carefully with her forearm and gesturing to the tall pile of gleaming dishes that she’d washed and dried by hand in a matter of minutes. She pulled off the pink rubber dishwashing gloves with a loud snapping sound and hung them over the sink before turning back to Eliza. “ _And,_ she promised me a vote and a half for picking the movie we watch.”   
  
“Yes,” Eliza agreed, brushing a few suds off Kara’s nose, showing them to her, and blowing them away. “But it's not just the dishes though.” She leaned against the counter and smiled.   
  
“No,” Kara said, lowering her voice just a bit, smiling when she caught a bit of Alex’s spirited defense of _Die Hard_ as a Christmas movie from the other room. “She’s just worried about me. I think she’s afraid that if she doesn’t keep me busy I’ll try sneaking out the window when she isn't looking."   
  
“Do you have another party you’re missing for this one?”   
  
“No.” Kara shook her head and chuckled. “Just missing… someone.”   
  
“Ahh,” Eliza said. She nodded sagely, not saying anything for a while, looking out at the others in the living room who had begun forming teams, splitting up amongst themselves, Nia yanking Brainy's arm to keep him from defecting to Alex's side of the living room.   
  
“The person that you’re missing, it wouldn’t happen to be Lena, would it?”   
  
Kara turned her head quickly, eyes wide, almost unbelieving. “How did you—”   
  
“She’s the only one not here,” Eliza said and squeezed Kara’s hand tight, not letting go. “And, Alex has filled me in on enough of what’s been going on,” she said cautiously.   
  
“Yes,” Kara said, still careful to keep her voice low, feeling as if the party that was still going on in the living room and this conversation were unable to coexist in the same space. “I don’t even know if I deserve to miss her,” she said, vocalizing a fear that bubbled up sometimes when she lay awake at night, unable to sleep. 

“Missing someone doesn’t have conditions,” Eliza said simply, batting Kara’s concern away like a pesky fly.  
  
“She’s spending Christmas alone,” Kara said in a voice just above a whisper. “She shouldn’t be. She should be here with everyone else... “   
  
_With me…_   
  
“But I screwed up everything,” she said, fighting to keep on top of her emotions, to stop herself from spiraling. It was never easy and even harder with Eliza there, the urge to bury her face against Eliza’s shoulder and cry like she had when she was younger was almost too impossible to resist.   
  
“Oh, honey…”   
  
“Kara!” Alex yelled from the other room, loud enough to be heard over Mariah Carey singing about how all she wanted for Christmas was you. “You need to settle a tie. _Die Hard_ or _It’s a Wonderful Life_?”

“Looks like a job for Supergirl,” Kara said softly, gently pulling her hand from Eliza’s grasp and pushing off from the counter from her leaning position.  
  
“We can talk later,” Eliza assured her, cupping Kara’s cheek gently. “ _If_ you want to, of course.”   
  
Kara nodded. “I’d like that,” she said, feeling that they had a lot to catch up on, a conversation that would be better held over coffee at the kitchen table rather than crowded into Alex’s postage-stamp-sized kitchen. “But first, I have to go find a way to break the news to Alex that there is no way I’m watching _Die_ Hard when I could be watching _It’s a Wonderful Life._ I love her but even I have my limits.” 

* * *

The first thing out of Lena’s mouth when she jolted awake was a number of choice expletives that would have likely made a sailor blush. She had reached for her phone on instinct, forgetting for a moment that she had injured her shoulder, nearly tearing out her stitches in the process.

It had been _just_ a graze, but the wound itself was far bigger on closer inspection back in her lab. The deep furrow that ran along the top of her shoulder had burned and throbbed angrily after the initial numbing wave of adrenaline and anger that had kept it at bay. She had stitched up the wound as best she could and while Lena thought that her lack of finesse made her more resemble Nurse Ratched than Nightingale she thought for a first attempt it was at the very least passable. 

_Maybe the only time I’ve ever been satisfied with average,_ she thought to herself, sitting up slowly and leaning back against her headboard. Shoulder aside, there were other little fires that required her attention. Her arms felt strange, almost alien-like as if they were removed and reattached, feeling too heavy to be her own. There was a dull ache in her chest and while she hadn't looked yet, she was certain that she would find a fresh bruise there that would slowly turn the color of overripe grapes. She had overextended the calf muscle in her right leg too. _Kicking that bastard into next week,_ she thought, some of the fire in her chest still smoldering. She remembered how pleased he had looked hawking weapons made of kryptonite.

 _Kryptonite..._ _  
_ _  
_ _That_ was enough to get her out of bed, muscles rebelling and screaming their displeasure the whole time. She shuffled to a kitchen that she still hadn’t memorized the layout of, not at all in the mood for food but needing at the very least to get coffee. She used her left arm to reach for the cupboard where she kept her coffee beans and hooked a finger into the handle of her mug, taking them both out together. 

Busying herself with the coffee machine, she glanced out the window, squinting a bit. The whole city was blanketed in a thick blanket of snow and the sunlight reflecting off it was blinding, making the dull throb in her temples ache all the more.  
  
Taking her nearly fully mug and shuffling to her couch, she sat down gingerly, letting out a breath and slowly propping her feet up on the coffee table. Casting an inquisitive eye around her living room, she realized for the first time that she hadn’t put up a single decoration.   
  
“Little late now,” Lena said aloud, taking a careful sip of her coffee. Instead of reaching for the remote on the coffee table, she reached for her laptop. Turning it on, she waited for it to boot up, taking another sip of her coffee before navigating the cursor to a folder in the bottom-left corner. There were a number of video files there, recordings from the camera in her suit that she would want to look at later to search for any information that might prove helpful but first, she wanted to put names to faces. She dragged a series of still photos of the men at the warehouse from the feed in her suit to run them through Bruce’s criminal database that she had borrowed access to without technically asking beforehand.   
  
_I’m showing initiative,_ she told herself, wondering if Bruce would see it that way too. _It’s better than bothering him on Christmas Eve,_ she countered before her brain had been able to mount a proper defense.   
  
She watched impatiently as the progress bar ticked up from zero percent to one after a few minutes and let out a loud sigh. “I’m going to need another cup of coffee.” The walk to the kitchen seemed incredibly far away and she let out a petulant sigh, forcing herself up off the couch with a little grunt of pain, remembering to grab her mug before she went shuffling off to the kitchen. 

* * *

  
Christmas morning came with little fanfare and when Kara opened her eyes, she quickly realized that she was the first one awake. The apartment was still silent, save for the sound of Alex snoring away in her bedroom. The giant punch bowl of eggnog that had been in the center of the counter had been reduced to a small puddle by the end of the night and while Kara hadn’t been keeping track, she knew that Alex had drunk her fair share. 

Not getting up right away, Kara was content to simply watch the Christmas tree in the corner of Alex’s apartment twinkle merrily, a surprising amount of presents still under the tree even after exchanging several at the party last night. 

Sitting up, with a blanket wrapped around her like a shawl she turned her head towards the short hallway and saw Eliza shuffling towards her, mouthing ‘Merry Christmas’ to her silently. She was wearing a pair of pajamas that were a garish shade of red and green that Kara hoped she only wore in December.   
  
“How did you sleep?” Eliza asked, sitting beside Kara and scooting close, wrapping herself in the same blanket that Kara had wrapped around her.   
  
“Good,” Kara said. “I usually sleep on the couch if I get in late. Alex has ears like a bat and wakes up every time I try to sneak into the guest bedroom. I tried floating there once but the door creaks.”   
  
Eliza chuckled. “I didn’t even get a chance to ask you last night. How do you like your new place in Metropolis? Your new job?”   
  
“Well,” Kara said, not quite sure where to begin, feeling as if each part of her life that she wanted to share with Eliza was something altogether too long and complicated to fit into a normal conversation.   
  
“I like it just fine. It’s a bit bigger than my place in National City was. Neighbors are quiet. I actually haven’t ever met them… But I guess that’s a good thing?”   
  
“It can be,” Eliza said wisely as if she had a story or two that proved just how true that really was but didn’t seem to want to interrupt with something so unimportant.   
  
“And about my job… I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about leaving CatCo.” Kara’s face fell and she found her hands twisting guiltily in her lap. “I didn’t tell _anyone,_ ” she said, not to absolve herself but to help Eliza understand just how bad things had been. Not rock bottom, but far closer than she had ever been before. “I like it though. Seeing Kal… Clark every day is a little weird but I’ve gotten used to it.”   
  
Eliza shook her head. “I hope that you and Alex both know that you can come to me anytime, but if you needed some time to work things out on your own, Kara, that isn’t always a bad thing.”   
  
“It was bad,” Kara said. “I guess it still _is_ bad.” She tried to smile and found it beyond her at the moment. Yes, things were still bad. They hadn’t been good in almost a year and she had stopped believing that time would be enough to change that. She and Lena had reached an impasse that Kara worried they might never find their way around.   
  
“After Lena moved away, I wanted so much for things to go back to how they were before,” Kara said carefully, gauging the expression on Eliza’s face. “And I thought that if I waited and if I was patient enough that maybe they could. But then I realized that I wanted more than that. Maybe I always did… And I just wish I knew how to fix things.”

“From what Alex tells me, you still see her from time to time.”  
  
“For interviews,” Kara said. “It’s the only time we talk anymore.” She smiled sadly and looked down at her lap. "I think that I'm just bothering her at this point. Intruding."

“Well, honey,” Eliza said, stealing a little bit more blanket from Kara and wrapping an arm around her shoulder. “I think that if Lena didn’t want to ever see you again, she’d find someone else to interview her.”  
  
Kara shrugged halfheartedly. “Sam said the same thing.”   
  
“Smart cookie,” Eliza said. “I think that Lena might need a little more time. If she knows that you’ll be there for her when she’s ready to talk again, I think that the best thing you can do for the both of you is to wait. Take it slow." She smiled warmly at her. "You rush around enough already."   
  
Kara managed a half-smile that was purely for Eliza's benefit. "I feel like I already did too much waiting. I could have... We could have..." She turned crimson and shook her head. "I just hate waiting,” she admitted, knowing how close to pouting she must have sounded.   
  
“Oh, I know. I seem to recall one year I caught you and your sister sneaking peeks at your Christmas presents. Do you know how hard it was for us to track down lead-lined wrapping paper when you were younger?” She shook her head sadly, hiding her grin as best she could while she shook with laughter. 

“Alex was the one who tried talking me into it,” Kara countered, almost whining at the unfairness of the accusation.   
  
“I beg your pardon?”   
  
Alex had shuffled into the living room looking somewhat haggard, hair sticking up on one side with one slightly bloodshot eye focused solely on Kara. “I think you have that backward. You convinced _me_ to go sneaking down in the dead of night to go peeking at our Christmas presents. I can see _through_ the wrapping paper," she said in a very poor imitation of Kara, blinking far too much and sounding saccharine sweet.  
  
Alex joined them on the couch, flopping down on the end and groaning a little, pressing two fingers gently against the side of her head. “Should we do breakfast first or presents?” 

“Breakfast,” Kara said, feeling as if dinner had been ages ago. “Something tells me that you could use a little pick-me-up anyway.” 

* * *

_“You put up your Christmas tree right before you called me, didn’t you?”_   
  
Lena tapped the screen of her phone to flip the camera back around so that it was facing her, debating whether she should look scandalized or contrite. The look on Sam’s face that screamed ‘don’t bullshit me’, one that Ruby might have already been subject to multiple times made Lena put all her chips on contrite.   
  
“Not _right_ before. A few hours ago.” Lena weathered the stony look she got in return and grinned sheepishly. “I’m never home!” Lena said as if Sam needed the reminder. “And I did _buy_ the tree weeks ago, I just forgot to put it up.” She had also forgotten where she had put it too. It had taken Lena half an hour of rooting around in all of her many closets to even find her miniature Christmas tree and another hour of untangling the branches with her one good arm to make it look a little less like that sad Charlie Brown Christmas tree, although the resemblance was still there. That was how Lena had spent her Christmas morning. 

It _had_ been mostly for Sam’s benefit, already knowing the hell there would be to pay if she realized that not only was Lena alone on Christmas but in an apartment that was devoid of any sign that she celebrated Christmas. But now that it was up, Lena was happy that she had gone to the trouble. She had placed the presents from Sam and Jess underneath it and it had gone a long way in making her penthouse feel a little more like her own.   
  
_“Please tell me that you at least took the day off today?”_ Sam pleaded.

“I did,” Lena assured her and painted a cross over her chest in full view of the camera, careful to keep her bandaged shoulder out of the shot. Lena had always planned to, of course, but seeing as her shoulder was still on the mend, it had been the extra bit of motivation to keep her from going back and revisiting her decision.   
  
“What about you? Did you and Ruby already do presents?”  
  
“ _We’re saving that for when we get home. Which I am more than ready to go back to.”_ Sam made a face and looked around conspiratorially before turning back to face the camera. _“I can’t get a moment’s peace here. Grace’s mom is driving me up the wall_ ,” she said in a hushed whisper.   
  
“Mmm,” Lena said, trying not to look too pleased about Sam’s predicament. “Christmas alone doesn’t sound _so_ bad now, does it?”  
  
“ _No comment,”_ Sam said sourly. “ _What about dinner? I’m assuming you’re not cooking anything.”_  
  
“I ordered in. It should be here soon,” Lena said, “I have everything under control.”  
  
“ _Christmas movie on pause while you talk to me?”_  
  
Lena glanced over at her laptop where she had been looking over the mugshots of the men from the warehouse, looked back into the camera, and nodded. “I _will,_ I promise. Any suggestions?”  
  
 _“Die Hard?”_  
  
Lena rolled her eyes. “Now you sound like A—” Lena cleared her throat awkwardly to save herself the need to finish her thought. _Now you sound like Alex…_ Her mind had made the connection so quickly and easily that it had nearly come tumbling out of her mouth. _Too easily,_ she told herself. She hadn’t thought about Alex in a long time and the sudden remembrance brought an initial wave of warmth and familiarity that felt very appropriate for the day followed quickly by pain that sunk deep into her chest and spread like venom. 

“ _A person with good taste,”_ Sam suggested kindly. “ _Yes, I completely agree. Anything with some snow and Christmas lights will do. Memorable catchphrases…”_ _  
_ _  
_ “I’m hanging up now,” Lena threatened.   
  
_“Sorry that I’m not there, Lena. Trust me, I really wish I was.”_   
  
“I do too, but I’m _fine_ , Sam.” Lena put a bit of extra emphasis on the fine, not that she really thought it would do any more to put Sam’s mind at ease but that it might do something for her own. “I’ll see you when you get back.”   
  
_“Yes, you will.”_ Sam nodded and winced a little when Lena heard someone call her name from somewhere behind her. _“Grace’s mom…”_

“I better give you time to go hide,” Lena teased.   
  
_“Text me later?”_   
  
“I will. Merry Christmas, Sam.”   
  
_“Merry Christmas, Lena.”_

Lena waved and after Sam had done the same, she ended the call. Setting her phone down beside her, as if she expected she might need it again soon, she reached forward, pulled her laptop closer, and began to type.

* * *

  
Alex almost convinced Kara into staying another night. Lingering near her balcony with the gifts and leftovers that Alex had forced upon her, Kara had waffled before ultimately leaving after promising that she would be back the following morning for breakfast. 

Back home, Kara had showered and after demolishing a good portion of the leftovers that Alex had sent her home with, she had put on _It’s A Wonderful Life_ on while she scanned her cupboards looking for the hot chocolate mix. She spied it behind a cereal box, extracted it, and after another minute of searching found the bag of marshmallows. 

Once she was nestled into her usual spot on the couch with a plate of cookies beside her and her mug of hot chocolate clenched securely in her left hand, she managed a small smile. The distance between Metropolis and National City was to her no more than a very short trip across town but it wasn’t the distance that made her feel lonely. Her life and the lives of her friends and family had diverged. Not to the extent that she and Lena’s had… But there was a distance that existed between them that had nothing to do with the miles between them.   
  
Watching Jimmy Stewart offer to lasso the moon brought a smile to her face and a singular memory along with it in its wake. She had watched the movie last Christmas with Lena at her old place. Lena had turned to her and asked Kara, complete with Mid-Atlantic accent to boot, if Kara had wanted the moon, pointing up to a sky that was all clouds. They had both laughed but there had been an earnestness in Lena’s question that Kara had been too afraid to acknowledge. Just another moment to add to the long list of missed chances and opportunities.   
  
_I don’t want the moon,_ Kara thought. _I just want you._

* * *

It was Sam texting Lena a little after six o’clock that finally got Lena to close her laptop after spending several hours chasing down possible leads that she very much wanted to follow up with Bruce _after_ Christmas. As tempted as she was to call him to discuss a few theories she had she refused to bother him when she knew that he and Diana were spending Christmas together. She had imposed enough on both of their lives without doing so on Christmas as well. 

Reading the very short text, Lena glanced over at her tree that was still blinking merrily in the corner.

_Did you open my gift yet?_

Smiling, Lena stood up, stretching out a kink in her back before walking over to the tree and taking both gifts out from under it. She set Jess’s gift on the counter before working her thumb along with one of the seams of Sam’s gift and ripped off the paper. The box was light and when she opened it, a note fell out that Lena snatched out of the air as it fell. 

_Your real gift is going to be spending an evening with me and Ruby when we get back but just in case you need the reminder to be careful when you’re out saving the world…_ _  
_ _  
_ Reaching into the box with a puzzled expression on her face, Lena was perplexed when she pulled out a box of adhesive bandages that she knew were a staple in any household with young children. Turning it over in her hand, Lena began to laugh before letting out a little sigh. _Of course, they’re Supergirl-themed,_ Lena thought. She popped open the box, took one out, and saw that they were blue and red with a miniature ‘S’ in the center.   
  
Still laughing, Lena texted back a short message of her own: _If I skin my knee, I’ll think of you_

She knew how worried Sam would be once she told her how close she had been to being shot. No amount of snark would cushion that revelation which made it all the more tempting to keep it from her. Not that she could. Sam was too observant, especially now that she knew how Lena was spending her evenings and she’d notice right away that Lena was favoring her non-dominant arm. But, God, did she wish she could save Sam from worrying. And if that was what Kara was doing for her by keeping her in the dark about _everything_ then she could understand but that didn’t explain why she was the only one of their group that hadn’t known. No, on closer inspection that theory didn’t hold much weight at all…. 

Busying herself with the kettle, intent on making use of Jess’s present, she set about her task methodically. Her shoulder still ached but only dully sending out throbs of pain at regular intervals. An annoyingly steady drumbeat that kept the memories of the night before fresh in her mind. She tried to shove them from her mind but knew that if she really wanted to do that she would need something stronger than hot chocolate. And while she didn’t doubt the efficacy that scotch could have on dulling painful memories, it would be temporary. They would be back and they would bring along a hangover to make things even more fun.   
  
With her hot chocolate in hand, Lena walked back to the living room and settled in on the couch, taking a few careful moments to get comfy. Her first instinct was to continue her research but remembered her promise to Sam and navigated her cursor to the folder she kept her favorite TV shows and movies. She had very few of the Christmas variety but enough for her to weigh her options over before finally choosing one.

When she first tasted it, she was surprised to find just how rich it tasted without it being cloying. Holding her mug tightly in her left hand, leeching the warmth from it, she took small sips while she watched Donna Reed moon over Jimmy Stewart. She would have liked nothing more than to get lost in the movie and watch as an angel earned his wings but her mind kept returning to the night before. The kryptonite bullet meant for Kara had missed but there had been so much of it. Had it been enough to hurt her? She couldn't come right out and ask Kara but she could reach out... Couldn't she?  
  
Picking up her phone, Lena typed out a message that she quickly deleted, wrote a shorter one, deleted that one too, and swore loudly.  
  
 _Kara called you on your birthday,_ she reminded herself, not that she had ever really forgotten. She had called and nothing had changed between them. It hadn't been an olive branch, it had been a... formality? A pleasantry? Whatever it was, this was the same. Nothing more, nothing less. Once more, Lena picked up her phone, typed a short two-word message, and hit send before she had a chance to change her mind.

_Merry Christmas._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to apologize in advance for the next chapter.
> 
> Come ask me things or bother me for updates [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/inkedroplets)


	16. We Both Want the Same Thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _What a wicked game you play, to make me feel this way  
>  What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you  
> What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way  
> What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you_
> 
> _No, I don't wanna fall in love  
>  No, I don't wanna fall in love  
> With you_
> 
> -Parra For Cuva 'Wicked Games'

_ Merry Christmas _

Kara could only stare blankly at her phone for a minute or two. Brushing cookie crumbs off her lap absentmindedly with one hand, she checked and double-checked that it really was Lena who had sent it. It could have been a mistake and after the months of near radio silence, that might have been the safer bet but Kara didn’t think so. She didn’t  _ want  _ to think so.    
  
She stared at the time stamp of the message and saw that fifteen minutes had already passed. The chances of there being a follow-up message looking less and less likely. No, ‘ _ I miss you, Kara _ ’ no matter how much Kara wished that there was. It wasn’t an invitation for more but it was another piece of evidence (however circumstantial) that Lena hadn’t shut her out of her life completely, that there  _ was  _ a connection that hadn’t been severed between them. It was a small comfort knowing that but at the moment it felt downright Lilliputian in size. 

Tapping her phone screen, she heard Eliza’s voice echo in her head, repeating the advice she had given her that morning, advising her to wait and thought it best to heed it. Instead of the paragraphs of text that Kara would have very much liked to send, she reciprocated in kind by sending the exact same message,  _ wishing _ she could have written more. 

The symmetry of the messages was somehow pleasing to her. Knowing that for however brief a time the two were thinking of one another. Kara looked at it once more before reaching for the remote and turning off the TV. She shuffled to the bathroom, nearly getting tangled up in the blanket that was still wrapped around her, and tossed it aside. 

Later, after she had brushed her teeth and slipped beneath her blankets in her bed, feeling particularly cozy as she listened to the wind whip hard and fast against her window making it rattle and whine out one long, loud morose whinny that slowly died away. There was a brief window of silence that was even more pronounced with the entire city blanketed in a thick layer of snow and Kara concentrated hard, listening. She found what she was listening for, a moment later and felt relief warm and comforting swell in her chest. Lena’s heartbeat. The wind picked up again and the rhythmic melody was drowned out, not that Kara would have listened much longer anyway. It felt too much like spying… Or rather, it  _ was  _ spying, and that was exactly why Kara felt so guilty when she caught herself listening for it. 

Rolling over onto her side, she closed her eyes and as the wind whipped itself back up into a frenzy, Kara promptly fell asleep.   
  


* * *

  
  
Despite setting out early the next morning and making good time (even for her) when Kara knocked on Alex’s apartment door, she could already smell pancakes and when Alex yelled to let her know it was open, she saw that the table had already been set as well.   
  
“Since when are you such an early bird?” Kara asked Alex the second she was inside, shucking off her coat and tossing it onto the coat rack.    
  
“Since I have an early flight to catch,” Eliza answered for her. She was seated at the kitchen table still in her pajamas looking half-asleep, a cup of coffee sitting on the table beside her. She stretched out an arm and pulled Kara into a hug without getting up.    
  
Kara smiled and settled into the chair next to her. “The bed in the guest room can’t be that bad, can it?”   
  
“No,” Eliza said in an overly loud voice and leaned closer to Kara. “It is,” she mouthed and tipped Kara a sly wink. “As much as I would like to spend some more time with you two, I’m speaking at a conference in Gotham next week and I need a little more time to prepare.”   
  
“What about?” Alex asked, coming in from the kitchen and setting a plate of bacon down in the center of the table. 

“The regressive hereditary traits of inter-terrestrial children.”   
  
“You’ll do great,” Alex said and beamed when Eliza smiled at her. “But, Gotham…” She shook her head. “I hope you don’t plan on staying long.”   
  
“Oh, Alex.” Eliza reached out and gave Alex’s arm a comforting squeeze before she disappeared back into the kitchen. “You don’t need to worry about me. I’m heading straight to the conference and then probably right back to my hotel after.”    
  
“Does that ever work when we tell you the same?” Alex asked, coming back in carrying a platter weighed down with an unsteady tower of pancakes that she sets down carefully, eyeing the shaking monolith with the careful eye of a building inspector who has laid their eyes on a building very clearly not up to code. “Eat fast,” she added and gave the plate a tiny nudge to try and offset the tilt. “While it’s still hot and before it falls over.”

Not being needed to be told twice, Kara stood up and flopped a number of pancakes onto her waiting plate and set about drenching them in a flood of maple syrup. “I think that Supergirl could make herself available for bodyguard duty,” she suggested.   
  
“That would certainly make me feel important,” Eliza said. “But completely unnecessary. Besides, you must be busy with your new job. What does The Daily Planet have my Pulitzer-winning daughter writing these days?”   
  
“Lately?” Kara set her fork down, half of the large stack of pancakes on her plate already demolished. “I just finished up a piece on a new re-entry initiative in Metropolis that Lena’s spearheading. It’s really amazing what she’s doing. But the big project that I’m working on.” She shrugged and made a face. “It’s really just research right now but there’s a new vigilante in Metropolis that Perry wanted me to look into.”   
  
“Really?” Alex looked up from her own plate, looking intrigued.    
  
“Yeah. There’ve been a few sightings around the city and Kal has met them.  _ Worked  _ with them or at least  _ near  _ one another. Actually, I ran into them the other night breaking up a weapons deal.” She sighed, the memories of that night flooding back in startling detail. “They actually got hurt because of me.”   
  
“You didn’t say anything about that,” Alex said, fork halfway to her mouth, a thin thread of syrup dripping off the small bite of pancake speared on the end of her fork.    
  
“I wanted to wait until after Christmas to tell you.”    
  
“Why would you do that?” Alex asked with a laugh.    
  
“Well…” Kara grabbed the coffee pot and poured herself a cup, doing it slowly, wanting to delay the inevitable just a tiny bit longer. “The weapons that they were selling, some of them were made of kryptonite…”   
  
“What?” Alex said flatly, her fork clattering to her plate.    
  
“Are you alright, honey?” Eliza leaned over to get a better look at Kara, eyes alight with worry. “You weren’t hurt, were you?”   
  
“No,” Kara said quickly. “I’m fine. More than fine, but the vigilante isn’t, they got hurt because of me. I kind of got in their way…” Looking back, there was no ‘kind of’ about it. She had arrived mid-scene and if she hadn’t insisted on staying, they might never have gotten hurt at all.   
  
“Kara... Where would they have even got kryptonite? J’onn gave Clark all the kryptonite that the DEO had and he destroyed it and with Lex gone… There’s not a lot of it out in the wild…”    
  
Kara shrugged. “I know, but I have no idea. I took the chest of weapons to the DEO and dropped it off there before I flew over here the other night, so maybe we can figure out where they got their hands on it.”   
  
“I’ll head over there to the DEO right after I drop mom off at the airport,” Alex said. The warmth that had lit up her face just moments ago had dimmed somewhat and Kara noticed the way her gaze kept flickering in her direction, which made Kara feel a whole lot better about keeping the news to herself until now.    
  
Keen to change the subject and attempt to salvage the rest of their breakfast, Kara reached across the table and plucked a few pieces of bacon off the plate in front of Alex. “Fair warning, if you want any bacon, I suggest you eat it now,” she said, nibbling on a piece and flashing Alex a toothy grin. Knowing it was no idle threat, both Alex and Eliza reached over and took a couple of pieces each.    
  
“How you didn’t eat us out of house and home,” Eliza teased and reached over and pinched Kara’s cheek.    
  
“Mmm,” Alex hummed but didn’t add anything more to the conversation, looking incredibly pensive.   
  
Talk slowly stuttered back towards more pleasant topics and the remainder of their breakfast was spent reminiscing about Christmases long since past and some of the gifts that they both did and  _ didn’t  _ receive. Something that Alex felt strongly enough about to be pulled back into the conversation, for which Kara was glad. She hated making Alex worry and knew how much of it she had done ever since moving to Metropolis, even now that she had some solid ground under her feet. 

When Eliza’s watch started chirping, she exchanged a quick look with Alex. “I think it’s time,” she said sadly. “Maybe I can convince the two of you to visit me next time, save me the flight.” She stood up and wrapped Kara up in a very tight hug.    
  
“Deal,” Kara said and kissed Eliza on the cheek.    
  
“Preferably  _ after _ the weather warms up a little,” Alex said, gathering up the now empty dishes on the table and carrying them back to the kitchen. “I don't care how fast you can fly, I’d probably still end up catching a cold.”   
  
Eliza chuckled and pointed back towards the guest room. “Let me go get changed and grab my bag.” She hurried off towards the guest room and Kara began gathering up the rest of the dishes and syrup-soaked utensils, trying to avoid getting any syrup on her or the floor as she carried them back to the kitchen.    
  
“I can do those for you,” Kara suggested, adding a few more plates to the sizable pile stacked up haphazardly in the sink.   
  
“That’s what I have a dishwasher for,” Alex said and waved her off. “Do you want to ride with us to the airport?”   
  
“I would,” Kara said. “But I have a few more leads that I need to follow up on for my article and I should probably see Kal, tell him about the kryptonite… See if he has any insight into who might have got their hands on any.”   
  
“Yeah…” Alex said and nodded quickly. “That might be best.”   
  
“Alex,” Kara said patiently, taking her by the shoulder and giving her a little shake. “It’s probably nothing, OK?”   
  
“It’s not nothing,” Alex said testily but deflated a little upon seeing the stubborn expression on Kara’s face. “But we’ll look into the kryptonite,” she said slowly as if each word was causing her physical pain. “And get to the bottom of it.”   
  
“The game is certainly afoot, isn’t it Sherlock Danvers?”    
  
“If I’m Sherlock, does that make you Watson?” Alex asked, poking Kara on the forehead with her index finger.    
  
“Ouch!” Kara said, batting Alex’s hand away like a fussy cat.    
  
“Ready?” Eliza asked. She was leaning on the wall with her overnight bag slung over her shoulder, watching the two of them with an amused expression on her face.

“ _ I  _ am,” Alex said and swept past Kara. “Just let me grab my coat.”    
  
“I’d like to go,” Kara said. “But I haven’t made as much progress on my research as I would have liked and I’d like to have something to show Perry on Monday..”   
  
“Sounds to me like you’re the Sherlock,” Eliza teased and pulled Kara into another hug. She leaned just close enough to whisper in Kara’s ear. “Give it a little more time, sweetie,” she murmured. “If she’s worth it—”

“She is,” Kara answered, cutting Eliza off, going slightly red in the cheeks. “She’s so…” She trailed off not exactly sure just how to finish that particular thought when there were so many descriptors that she could have said. Wonderful would have fit nicely, but so would beautiful.  _ Wonderfully beautiful.  _ “Amazing,” Kara said shyly, thinking that fit the bill well enough to get her point across.   
  
“Well,” Eliza said, laughing. “Then that’s all I need to say then, isn’t it?”   
  
“What is?” Alex asked, poking her head into the kitchen, still working the zipper on her winter parka, the thick gloves she was wearing making the job that much more difficult.    
  
“Nothing,” Eliza said, She switched her bag to her other shoulder and hugged Alex tight against her. “You don’t have to take me to the airport, you know?”    
  
“Says who?” Alex asked, finally working the zipper up past her chest, all the way up to her chin. She reached into the pocket of her coat and fumbled with her phone and tapped at it clumsily with her gloved hand. “Our ride’s here.” As if to hammer that point home there were two quick honks from a car down somewhere on the street below.    
  
Kara walked them both to the door and stood in the doorway while they pulled on their shoes. “I’m going to do those dishes and then head back home,” she said. She had a number of phone calls to make now that it was officially  _ after  _ the holidays and people were a bit more receptive to being bothered and she would need to tell Kal about the kryptonite and maybe get a bit more information about the vigilante out of him now that he didn’t need to rush out.   
  
“You spoil me,” Alex said and took a step out into the hall. She pulled up the hood of her parka and shook her head. “I’m officially over winter at this point.”   
  
Eliza grinned and slipped past her on the way to the elevator. “That makes two of us.”    
  
Alex turned on her heel to join her and paused, holding out a hand to stop Kara from closing the door all the way.    
  
“Kar…”   
  
“Yeah?” Kara stuck her head back out. “Forget something?”   
  
“No,” she said hurriedly. “I was just thinking. About the kryptonite, you don’t think that…”   
  
“Think what?” Kara said, not at all following what possible theory she could have when she had barely any of the facts.    
  
“Nothing,” she said and shook her head, taking a step towards the elevator where Eliza was waiting with her hand over the door to keep it from closing. “Just thinking out loud.”

* * *

L-Corp wouldn’t be open officially until the first of the year but that didn’t mean the building was completely empty. There were projects that needed more immediate attention and some deadlines that couldn’t be moved, which meant that there was a skeleton crew manning a few of the floors in the building. Lena herself was among them, holed up in her lab dressed far more casually than normal in a pair of jeans and a loose-fitting dot printed blouse.

Her shoulder no longer ached so keenly but her range of motion was still severely limited and even with her suit doing nearly all of the heavy lifting, she didn’t want to imagine the damage that she might do if she tried grappling around the city like she was used to. She needed more time and with Superman having returned to Metropolis she felt a little less guilty about taking some time to convalesce. Not that she was doing a very good job of it.    
  
Without Sam around to make sure that Lena came up for air every now and again and to check in as regularly as she usually did, Lena hadn’t actually bothered going home the night before and had fallen asleep at one of the tables in her lab. She soothed her guilty conscience by promising herself that she would sleep in an actual bed tonight. She had made the same deal with herself many times in the past when she had needed to work late at L-Corp. 

Staring almost absentmindedly at the 3-D holographic rendering of her suit on display above her workspace, she swiped it away with her hand and stood up out of her chair, immediately beginning to pace. She had hit dead end after dead end when it came to reinforcing her suit to withstand another kryptonite bullet. It  _ was  _ possible, albeit theoretically, but that would mean a far bulkier design and not one that she could get in and out of so easily. Even the sleekest of designs would invariably end up looking more like one of Lex’s suits and she found that idea so revolting that she hadn’t pursued the idea any further than just a possibility.    
  
Filing that problem away in the ‘later’ drawer in her mind, Lena focused her attention on a much more pressing problem. Leaning back over the table she was working at, she tapped a few keys on her laptop and brought up what amounted to a mini-dossier on the red-headed weapons dealer she had taken great pleasure in bringing down. His criminal record which was littered with a variety of minor offenses with a few more serious ones sprinkled among those was of little interest to her. What did interest her however was the fact that the man was a Gothamite. 

She had held off on asking Bruce for help, more for Diana’s sake than his own, not wanting to intrude on their holiday when she already felt that she had imposed enough on both their lives without asking for another favor. But seeing as Christmas was a few days behind them, she felt a little less guilty about intruding and reached for her phone on the table.   
  
She and Sam had sent sporadic messages back and forth throughout the day but it was Kara’s message that she had kept returning to and the one she clicked away from before navigating to her contacts and dialing Bruce. Half-expecting to get Alfred, she listened to the phone ring only twice before someone picked up.   
  
_ “Hello, Lena.” _ _   
_ _   
_ “Hello. I’m not interrupting anything, I hope.”   
  
“ _ Nothing important,”  _ Bruce said.   
  
Lena smirked. “Otherwise why would you pick up?” she teased. “I’d ask you how your Christmas was before I asked you for a favor but I doubt that you’d tell me.” 

_ “It was good. What kind of favor do you need?”  _   
  
“Dating advice,” Lena said, completely deadpan, unable to help herself.    
  
“ _ And you’re asking me?” _

“Between the two of us, I  _ am  _ the single one. But if you’re not willing to dole out dating advice, then how about keeping an eye out for a weapons dealer that I scooped up the other night? He’s originally from Gotham and just made bail last night.”   
  
_ “What kind of weapons?” _   
  
Lena could hear the echo from his steps and hazarded a guess that he had already made his way down to the cave, hoping that he hadn’t simply walked away from the dinner table to do so, wondering if Alfred would blame her for such a breach in decorum. 

“Your standard fare  _ and  _ a pretty big cache of kryptonite weapons,” Lena said. “I guess now is as good a time as any to let you know that I hacked into your computer to track him down. I patched the security flaw I used to get in after I was done,” she said sweetly as if locking up behind her somehow made up for the initial break-in. “His name’s Peter Sinclaire. I’ll send you everything I have on him.”    
  
“ _ Worried about him running?”  _ _   
_ _   
_ “A little bit, but I’m more worried that he might have more kryptonite that he’s looking to get rid of. Was really hoping to get an honest answer out of him.”   
  
“ _ I can keep an eye out, Lena—” _ _   
_ _   
_ “And a pointy ear?” Again, Lena really couldn’t help herself.    
  
“ _ That too. If I hear anything or spot him, I’ll get in touch.” _

“Please,” Lena said, her tone becoming suddenly far more grave. “It’s important, Bruce.”   
  
“ _ I understand,”  _ Bruce said. His stoicism could sometimes be maddening, but Lena was relieved that he didn’t inquire about just  _ why  _ it was important to her. She would have rather not got into that over the phone, or at all if that was an option.  _   
_

* * *

New Year’s Eve passed without incident and a spurt of unexpected (but very welcome) warm weather began to thaw some of the snow that had blanketed Metropolis. Lena who had had her fill of snow was quite looking forward to the spring but had far more important things to worry about than the change in seasons. Bruce still hadn’t gotten in touch with her and with each passing day, she found it harder to remain optimistic. 

So lost in thought, Lena didn’t hear the sound of approaching footsteps and only looked up from her computer when she heard her office door open.   
  
“So, be honest, how much did you miss me?”   
  
Lena stood up, grinning. “Probably not half as much as you missed your bed. How was the flight back, Sam?”   
  
Sam shrugged and waggled her hand from side to side before striding over to Lena’s desk and hugging her. “A bunch of turbulence and some very questionable on-flight entertainment but all in all good. Ruby caught a cold because  _ of course,  _ she did.” She shook her head and frowned. “She’s resting at home but she wants to see you just as soon as she’s not contagious.”    
  
“It’s a date,” Lena promised. “And I did miss you a whole bunch, Sam. Without you here I’ve actually had to attend meetings again.” Lena made an exaggerated face. “I’ve come around on those novelty coffee mugs, the ones that say ‘this meeting could have been an email’. But if Ruby’s sick, you should really take the day off,” she insisted. “L-Corp can get along without their fearless leader for a while longer.” 

“Maybe so,” Sam said, flopping down onto the chair nearby Lena’s desk, “but I took a peek at my inbox on the way over here and almost cried. Ruby’s already on the mend anyway, she was curled up on the couch watching Netflix when I left for work.”    
  
“Speaking of on the mend,” Lena said. She cleared her throat and took a peek over Sam’s shoulder to make sure that her office door was shut. “Not that it’s a big deal,” she said,  _ praying  _ that Sam would agree with her, knowing she wouldn’t. “But I did get a little banged up the other day.”   
  
“How banged up?”   
  
“A couple of bruises,” Lena said, pointing to her chest and then to her side where a yellowish bruise was still healing.   
  
“God,” Sam said, getting up out of her chair and hurrying around to Lena’s side of the desk before Lena could stop her. “Are you sure you’re OK?”   
  
“One hundred percent sure,” Lena said patiently. “And,” she said as if she had remembered only as an afterthought. “I hurt my shoulder.”    
  
“Did you bruise that too?”   
  
“No,” Lena said flatly, rethinking for one brief moment about shielding Sam from the truth, protecting her from it… Wondering if that was that had at all played a part in Kara’s decision to keep her identity a secret from her or if that was just wishful thinking. “I got grazed,” she said so quietly that Sam had to lean closer to try and suss out what she said.    
  
“Grazed? By what?” Sam asked, the look of rising terror on her face making it clear that Sam had already worked it out for herself and was just waiting for confirmation.    
  
“A kryptonite bullet,” Lena said so low and fast that it came out all as one word. Flashing Sam her best  _ Please don’t be mad  _ smile.    
  
“Kryptonite?” Sam asked. “Why would people try and shoot  _ you  _ with kryptonite?”   
  
_ Well, it went through my suit like a hot knife through butter,  _ Lena thought, not daring to speak  _ that  _ aloud. “They were aiming at Supergirl. I just got caught up in the crossfire. She’s fine too.”  _ Thank God.  _ “It just grazed me, Sam. I even put one of the bandages on it that you got me for Christmas,” she said, hoping that might lighten the mood a bit.    
  
“Lena, you put  _ actual  _ bandages on it before you did that, right?”   
  
“Obviously.” Lena gave Sam a little nudge and that seemed to dislodge some of the worry that had been gathering around her face like dark storm clouds. 

“I don’t mean to mother you,” Sam said and raised both her hands up as if she meant to surrender. “It’s in the blood,” she said and crossed her arms over her chest, looking charmingly defiant.    
  
“Even if you were, I would have no idea what that’s like,” Lena assured her. “Lillian’s idea of mothering was pretending I didn’t exist.” She did have fond memories of her  _ real  _ mother. Being chased through a lush field, being lifted high into the air, being held... Being loved. But over the years those memories had faded to the vaguest of recollections and all that she was left with was a longing for something she herself could barely even remember. 

“Well, if you ask Ruby, it’s  _ totally lame _ ,” she said, putting on the exaggerated voice of a teenager that has been embarrassed by their mother just one too many times.

“It’s not lame at all, Sam. It’s incredibly sweet, but I really am fine. All I’ve done the past week is some very light lab work. Light for me, at least,” she amended when she saw the doubtful expression on Sam’s face.   
  
Still looking skeptical, Sam looked up at the clock and then back to Lena. “I have half an hour before I have to hop on a conference call, do you want to show me what you’ve been working on?”   
  
Lena grinned. “I thought you would never ask.”   


* * *

  
  
“Did a bomb go off in here?” Sam asked the moment she had stepped inside Lena’s lab, stepping gingerly as if she were afraid of stepping on something. “Do I need to make you a chore wheel?”

“Not lately,” Lena said. “And, no. I’ve been meaning to tidy up but I have a lot of projects that I’m working on concurrently and space is limited”  _ I need a cave _ , she thought, envious of just how much space that Bruce had to work with.  _ That or a lair…  _   
  
“Mmm,” Sam hummed and surveyed the lab from a distance, one hand on her hip, staring at one of the many whiteboards that Lena had scribbled full of equations. “This doesn’t look like  _ light  _ lab work to me.”   
  
“Agree to disagree,” Lena said and slipped the ring off her finger, waiting for her suit to fully materialize before she continued her explanation. “I’ve been tinkering with this since the first prototype, but it’s only been in the last month or so that I’ve actually made some actual headway. It’s still  _ finicky,”  _ Lena said, frowning. “Maybe if I can siphon power from the shields…”   
  
“You are talking to me, right? And not just out loud?” Sam teased. “Because I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She had hopped up on one of the work tables after clearing herself space, watching Lena, transfixed.

“This,” Lena said and tapped a small button near her wrist. “Thermoptic camouflage,” she said, enjoying the gobsmacked impression on Sam’s face as she seemingly disappeared into thin air. Knowing she only had a few seconds before she would be visible again, Lena bit back a mischievous giggle and crept around so that she was right beside Sam who was still looking around for her, squinting ever so slightly.

“But I can only use it in short bursts,” she said, suddenly reappearing on Sam’s left, feeling just a little bit sorry when Sam’s hand flew to her chest and the whole table rattled as she flinched sending a few pens clattering to the ground.    
  
“ _ Jesus,  _ Lena!” Eyes flashing, Sam took a swing at her, missing by a good two inches and patting at her chest as if her heart needed it to get going again. “I wanted you to show me what you’ve been working on, not scare me half to death.”   
  
“I thought I could do both,” Lena teased. She returned her ring to her finger and when her suit had dematerialized, reached for an exact replica of one of her gauntlets on another work table littered with messy stacks of paper and pencils. "And this,” she said, meaning to toss it over to Sam but stopped when she felt her cell phone vibrate in her pocket. “Hang on,” she said, fishing her cellphone out of her pocket, somehow knowing that it was Bruce calling, maybe because with Sam with her, that accounted for the majority of her texts and phone calls.    
  
Lena looked at the display, smiled, and then caught Sam’s eye which wasn’t hard to do as she was watching her rather intently. “I just need a minute,” she said hurriedly and smiled brighter when Sam gave her a thumbs up.    
  
She traced her thumb over the call button and brought the phone to her ear. “Bruce,” she said without preamble. “Did you find them?”   
  
_ “I did. Or rather, Barbara did. She spotted him hanging around his old stomping grounds. He seems skittish. If you want to ask him anything…” _ _   
_ _   
_ “Sooner rather than later,” Lena said.

“ _ Tonight would be your best bet. Can you come?”  _   
  
“Of course I can,” Lena said, thankful that she hadn’t made plans with Sam that she would have needed to cancel. “ I’ll be there before dark. Thank you.”   
  
“ _ You’re welcome. I’ll see you tonight.”  _

“Tonight,” Lena said and waited for Bruce to end the call before she stowed her phone back in her pocket.    
  
“Was that L-Corp business or the  _ other  _ kind?” Sam asked, hopping down off the work table, looking concerned.    
  
“The other kind,” Lena said, wishing that she could have told Sam that it was simply L-Corp business, almost tempted to lie and say it was, even though she knew that Sam would see through the lie in an instant. “Nothing dangerous,” Lena assured her and held up her right hand as if she were in court. “ _ Really.  _ I just need to follow up a lead, that’s all.” 

“You’re not going out alone, are you? You’ll have backup?”   
  
Lena grinned. “Yes, some of the best.”   
  
“Then, I’ll worry a little less. But I should head back upstairs, I need to hop on that conference call.”    
  
“You go ahead,” Lena said. “I’m going to tidy up a bit before I head back up. I can’t work in a messy lab.”   
  
“All evidence to the contrary,” Sam said, ruffling a messy stack of papers as she walked past, pausing just briefly in the doorway to wave. “Dangerous or not,” she said. “Be careful.”   
  
“As much as I can be,” Lena said and was quite sure (that tonight at least) she could keep that promise easily enough. Appraising the mess and looking for the best place to start, Lena began arranging some of the papers that were spread out in a fan on the table, weeding out the ones that were full of nothing but doodles that she sometimes did when she found herself spinning her wheels. 

Balling up a number of them she tossed them into an already full garbage can and was reaching for an empty water bottle when her phone rang again. Not bothering to check to see who was calling first, she answered it and tapped the speakerphone button.    
  
“Hello?”   
  
_ “Lena? I’m sorry to bother you, but it’s important.”  _ It was Jess, and to Lena’s ear, she sounded rather nervous.   
  
“I didn’t forget another appointment, did I?” Lena had been doing that a lot more lately.  _ I’m getting to be as bad as Bruce,  _ she thought. “You can tell them that I’ll be right up and that I am  _ extremely—” _ _   
_ _   
_ _ “No, _ ” Jess said and Lena could hear her trepidation clearly even in that one word. “ _ You don’t have an appointment today. But someone is here to see you. They’re not on the approved visitor's list… And I would have sent them away but they refuse to leave. I can call security... Maybe I should have done that first…” _ _   
_ _   
_ “Are you OK, Jess? They didn’t threaten you, did they?” Lena scooped her phone up and began walking briskly towards the elevator.    
  
_ “No, no, I’m fine, Lena. It’s just…”  _ She sighed loudly, just as Lena stepped onto the elevator. “ _ It’s Alex Danvers…”  _

* * *

  
  
With both Christmas and New Year’s firmly in the rearview and having gone over every scrap of information that Perry had been able to gather on the vigilante as well as the scant amounts that Kal had been able to offer up, Kara still had nothing substantial to show for all the work she had put in. The blank document she had started weeks ago still only had two very short sentences centered at the very top of the first page that read:

  
Definitely exists.   
Probably hates me.

Which even by tabloid standards was not at all enough to go on. She had reached out to a few of the more credible sounding eyewitnesses over the Christmas holiday and while she hadn’t expected to actually hear back from any of them, one of them had agreed to an interview which Kara considered a win, even if the only thing she got out of it was a decent cup of coffee.    
  
She didn’t expect them to be able to shed much more light on the subject than she already had but she knew better than to discount the source, especially before they had a chance to talk.  _ Maybe I’ll get lucky,  _ she thought. 

* * *

  
_   
_ _ Not the Danvers I was expecting.  _   
  
Seeing Alex Danvers waiting inside her office was something of a surreal experience, despite spending the entirety of the elevator ride up to her office preparing for it. Even when they had been friends ( _ if  _ they had ever been in the first place) they had never been all that close. Racking her brain, she couldn’t remember a single time that the two of them had ever met one-on-one. Except for today, of course.   
  
“Lena…” Alex stood up from her chair the moment she saw Lena, not making an effort to close the distance between them, merely standing at attention.    
  
“Director Danvers.” Lena nodded politely and turned her attention to Jess who was watching their meeting unfold from a distance. “This shouldn’t take long,” Lena said, flashing the briefest of smiles in an attempt to put Jess a little more at ease.    
  
“No,” Alex agreed. “It won’t, and I’m sorry if I put you in an uncomfortable position, Miss—”    
  
“Just doing my job,” Jess said tersely, her face devoid of any of her usual warmth. “If you need anything, Lena…” She smiled at Lena and offered a stiff nod to Alex before she turned sharply on her heel and returned to her desk, shutting Lena’s office door behind her.    
  
“I assume that there’s a problem that the DEO needs L-Corp’s assistance with,” Lena said, sitting down at her desk, more than happy to sidestep any small talk or pleasantries that Alex might want to get out of the way  before she got to the real heart of the matter. “Whatever it is, we’ll do what we can, although a phone call would have been more than enough…”    
  
“It is and it isn’t,” Alex said. She was wearing a grey V-neck sweater underneath her leather jacket, a clear sign that the weather had turned a lot milder. “And I know I probably should have called. Probably should have done it months ago…”   
  
“What do you need?” Lena asked, determined to keep their meeting as short as possible. Hating how cold she felt and how raw her wounds still are even after all this time.  _ They’ll never heal,  _ a voice echoed in her head, almost taunting her.    
  
“It’s not  _ technically  _ a DEO matter,” Alex said, her gaze flickering here and there, never settling anywhere for very long, like an incredibly persnickety housefly.    
  
“Then,” Lena said flatly, “I don’t understand why you’re here.”    
  
“Lena… I know how much we—”   
  
“Tell me why you’re here,” Lena said, a coldness creeping into her voice that she couldn’t have kept out if she tried.   
  
“There was a foiled weapons deal in Metropolis about a week ago,” Alex said. She dug in her jacket pocket and brought out her phone, tapped the screen, and showed Lena a picture of the chest that Kara had brought back to the DEO. In one of them, the chest was open, its contents laid out, most likely to be cataloged. “Kryptonite weapons,’ she said and ran a nervous hand through her hair. “It’s already been destroyed but I was wondering if you had heard anything about it.”   
  
Lena studied the photos carefully, leaning forward and swiping through them before looking up and meeting Alex’s gaze that she could feel boring a hole through her. “I don’t think any of the paper in Metropolis ran an article about it,” Lena said and pointed to a copy of The Daily Planet on the corner of her desk.    
  
“No,” Alex said. “They didn’t pick up on the story, Supergirl… Kara had already taken the chest away before the police could arrive. But with a stash this big, I’m worried there might be more out there.”   
  
“And you came all the way here to Metropolis to ask me about it?” Lena asked, her brow furrowing.    
  
Alex stashed her phone back in the pocket of her jacket and sighed. “We’re just looking…  _ I’m  _ just looking for any possible leads. If there’s any more out there in the wild…”   
  
“I’m sorry, I wish I could be of more help. If I hear anything, I’ll be happy to pass along the information to the DEO.”   
  
“Thank you…” Alex said after a brief period of silence. “Anything at all,” she said. “And I mean, anything. I normally don't volunteer to chase unfounded rumors but considering the stakes…” She stood up and Lena did the same.    
  
“If that’s all,” Lena said slowly, feeling as if she was the only one who was propelling the conversation forward as if Alex was happy to simply tread water.    
  
“Your office in Metropolis really isn’t all that different from the one back in National City, is it?” Alex grinned weakly and gestured around. “Just missing a couch,” she said and pointed to the conspicuously empty space.    
  
_ That’s by design,  _ Lena thought. “Well, you see one high-rise office, you see them all." What she said had the cadence of a joke but none of the playfulness that usually accompanied such a statement. 

"Do you like it here?" Alex asked. "Metropolis," I mean.

Lena bit back a loud sigh that she was certain Alex heard anyway. She understood civility but simply didn’t have it in her to pretend that everything was fine, that  _ she  _ was fine. "As much as you can like a place,” Lena said as she stood up and walked a few steps towards the door. “If there’s nothing else I can help you with,” Lena said, just barely keeping a lid on the bitterness that was aching to seep out.   
  
Alex finally seemed to understand and stood up out of her chair. “No,” she said, looking distracted. “Nothing else.”   
  
“In the future,” Lena said, striding to the door, not bothering to wait and see if Alex would follow her. “If the DEO needs my help I’d prefer a phone call rather than a visit.”  _ And I’m almost certain you would prefer the same.  _ Her tone was measured and perfectly courteous but it was utterly devoid of any affection. It was the same tone Lena used with business associates that she didn’t much care for but still wished to maintain a working relationship.    
  
She opened the door a crack, meaning to walk Alex to the elevator, a courtesy that she offered nearly everyone that came to her office for a meeting but found herself closing the door again, the sound of the latch catching sounding unnaturally loud.

“Lena?”   
  
Lena’s mouth curved upward into a sardonic grin and the hand closed around the doorknob tightened around it until it was almost painful. “Why did you come here, Alex? Metropolis isn’t exactly a short trip.”   
  
“Lena… I came here because I felt bad asking you for a favor after everything that happened. I get it, I won’t visit you—”   
  
“You felt bad,” Lena said silkily. “When? After you and everyone else spent years lying to me or after I left Kara imprisoned with kryptonite in the Fortress?” She turned around slowly, pivoting on her heel. She could hear the blood pounding in her ears and the hammering of something against one of the many walls that she had ensconced herself in as a means of protection. “The Fortress,” Lena said, answering her own question. “And kryptonite shows up in Metropolis so you come running to question the nearest Luthor about it.” She stared at Alex, almost wishing that she would try and deny it, willing her to crack.   
  
“Can you really blame me, Lena?” Alex’s expression had hardened and while her eyes had darted away for a moment, she met Lena’s gaze again, staring back stonily. “What you did to Kara at the Fortress… How could you?"   
  
“I know what I did!” Lena shouted. “I know,” she said, taking a shuddering breath, trying in vain to center herself, to put the proverbial genie back in the bottle. “You  _ never  _ trusted me,” Lena said, not accusing Alex of anything, merely stating it in the same conversational tone she might have used when commenting on the weather. “So, I sincerely doubt that you would believe anything I told you… Why would you?”   
  
Sidestepping Alex, Lena strode over to her desk and pushed aside the chair Alex had been sitting in, tipping it over, one of the legs nearly catching her painfully in the shin.   
  
_ Where would you hide one, Bruce?  _   
  
Lena felt underneath the desk, feeling nothing but smooth wood. She reached deeper and found what she was looking for. It was about the size of a dime and when she got her fingernail underneath it, she felt it fall into her hand. She brought her hand out from under the table and stared blankly at the small listening device nestled there in her palm, fighting the urge to toss it on the floor and smash it underneath her heel.    
  
“Most people looking to bug my office have the decency to wait until I’ve gone home to do it,” Lena said, still staring at the bug, amazed at how incredibly calm she sounded, all things considered. “Letting you into my office was my mistake, I thought…” She trailed off just as her office door banged open hard enough for it to bounce off the wall.    
  
Lena looked up and saw Sam standing in the doorway, looking winded.    
  
“Lena? Alex?!” Sam’s eyes were wide and behind her was Jess and Lena understood that Jess must have called her and had probably interrupted Sam’s conference call to do it.    
  
“I won’t call security,” Lena said, her eyes brimming with tears that she absolutely refused to let fall, her voice low, just barely above a whisper. “But I want you to get the fuck out of my office. If you  _ do  _ come back, I’ll escort you off the property myself.” The war drums had started again. So loud and so incessant that Lena heard nothing but the steady beat of them in her ears for a while. She heard someone call her name, whisper it, and felt a hand on her wrist that she instinctively jerked back from.   
  
“Lena?” Sam said urgently, trying again to grab Lena’s hand and holding on tighter this time. “Are you OK? Jess called me, said that you were shouting… What was…” She trailed off and looked behind her where Alex had just stepped onto the elevator, the doors already halfway closed. “What happened?”   
  
Lena took a series of deep breaths before she felt like she could answer without her voice shaking, without tearing up. “Nothing,” she said and blinked rapidly and saw the poorly disguised impatience on Sam’s face the moment Lena answered that way, probably reminding her far too much of how Ruby might deflect the same question. She sighed and tipped the listening device into Sam’s open hand. “Can you destroy that for me?” Lena asked politely, even managing to flash Sam a weak smile.    
  
“Is this a bug?” Sam asked, goggling at it.    
  
“Yeah,” Lena said, stepping past Sam and making for the elevator.   
  
“I’m sorry, Lena.” Jess was wringing her hands, still standing by her desk. “I shouldn’t have—”   
  
“Not your fault,” Lena assured her and was thankful when she found herself able to muster a genuine smile, knowing that Jess would have seen through anything else. “Thank you for worrying about me though.”    
  
“Lena…” Sam said, walking briskly over to the both of them. “Can we go grab a coffee? Talk about what happened?”   
  
“Tomorrow we can,” Lena said. “Lunch, if you’re up for it, but right now I need to go,” she said, trying to focus on the task ahead of her instead of the unpleasantness that had just unfolded. “I’ll be back late tonight, but I’ll text you when I get home.”

When the elevator doors slid open, Lena stepped inside and was a little relieved when Sam didn’t step in behind her. She would have very much liked to unburden herself by talking with Sam but even if she did, there were things she couldn’t explain fully, not when she needed to dance around Kara’s secret.    
  
Lena pressed the button that would take her down to the lobby and raised her hand just enough to wave to both Sam and Jess who were looking at her with the expression one might have one talking to someone that has just been admitted to the hospital. 

Just as the doors began to close, Sam put her hand between them to stop them from closing.   
  
“Sam…”   
  
“Promise me you’ll be careful."   
  
“Promise,” Lena said and flashed her another weak smile.   


* * *

  
  
“It’s my fault,” Jess said just as soon as the elevator doors. She sniffed, her heels clicking on the floor as she began to pace. “I should have just followed the protocol and called security.” She jabbed at the little red button on her desk that called security. “If I had done that... “   
  
“It’s not your fault,” Sam said soothingly. “Do you have any idea what they were fighting about?”   
  
“No,” Jess said. “I was  _ watching  _ them because I was worried but I didn't hear anything until Lena started yelling. I told her that she wasn’t on the approved guests' list but she wouldn’t leave and she kept insisting that she see Lena.” The bug… Why do you think she tried planting it?” Jess’s eyes went as wide as dinner plates and she clapped a hand to her forehead. “She must have planted it when I let her into Lena’s office. I should have never—”   
  
“Jess. Take a breath,” Sam instructed. She took one herself as if to demonstrate. “I don’t know what’s going on but I can promise you that none of it is your fault. Can you go down to security and get a metal detector?”   
  
“Of course I can,” Jess said and instinctively reached for the small notebook she kept notes in. “What do you want me to do with it once I have it?”   
  
“Sweep Lena’s office for bugs,” she said grimly. “While you do that, I need to make a call.”   
  


* * *

  
Kara had arrived at the coffee shop early enough to get a table near the back where she could be guaranteed  _ some  _ amount of quiet, even if the place got busy while she was holding her interview. She had ordered a bagel and a latte that she was sipping on when her phone began to rattle across the table.    
  
_ Please, don’t cancel on me,  _ Kara thought.    
  
“Hello?” she said, holding her phone to her ear.    
  
_ “Kara. Hi.” _   
  
“Sam! Hi, what’s up?”   
_   
_ _ “Kara, are you at work, right now?” _ _   
_   
“No,” she said. “Today’s my day off. You didn’t stop by to see me, did you?”   
  
_ “No, I didn’t, but I do need to talk to you. In-person, _ ” she said. “ _ Where are you?” _   
  
“I’m actually meeting someone to do an interview for an article that I’m working on. Can it wait an hour or two?” Kara asked, checking her watch.”I’m right nearby L-Corp, I can swing by and meet you after I’m done.”   
  
“No, Kara, I  _ don’t think that’s a good idea.  _ _ It’s probably better if I come to you.” _ _   
_ _   
_ “Come to me? Why?”   
  
“ _Did you know?"_ Sam asked, almost sounding afraid to ask.  
  
"Did I know what?"  
  
" _It might be better just to tell you when we meet..."_  
  
"Sam... You're scaring me."  
  
" _I don't have all the details,_ " Sam said. _"That's actually why I wanted to meet because I need to know what's going on because I am obviously missing something, but Alex stopped by L-Corp..."  
  
_ "She what?" Kara's eyes widened and she set her latte clumsily back down on the table, some of it slopping out over the side.   
  
_"Jess heard her and Lena arguing about something. She tried planting a bug in Lena's office."_  
  
"No... Why would she?" _The kryptonite..._ she thought, feeling as if someone had just thrown very cold water on her.  
  
" _So you really don't know then?"_  
  
"No," Kara said in a small voice, hating how mistrustful Sam sounded. "I need to talk to Lena, explain—” She reached for her coat that was draped over the back of her chair and nearly knocked it over in her haste to get out the door, to explain.  
  
 _"Kara... Lena's gone on urgent business... More importantly, I don't think calling her's a good idea. I don't know what's going on, but I know that she's hurt... Promise me that you won't contact her. Not until I figure out what the hell is going on. I don't understand how Alex could do that..."_  


"Sam, I need to—”  
  
 _"If you care about Lena at all you'll give her some space, Kara. Please, for her sake."_  
  
"OK," Kara said, feeling physically ill. "I can explain everything," Kara said. "I can move my interview," she suggested.  
  
 _"Don't. I can't get away until after six anyway. Where can you meet?"_  
  
"I'm at a cafe about a block away from L-Corp. Java Jive," Kara said listlessly. "I can meet you there."  
  
 _"I know the place, I'll see you then,"_ Sam said curtly and ended the call without saying goodbye.  
  
Heart racing, Kara set her phone back down on the table. All at once, the coffee shop seemed all too loud. She could hear the scrape of a fork against a plate as if it was right next to her ear and the whispered conversation between two baristas in the back was almost deafening. _Relax,_ Kara told herself, understanding what was happening. It hadn't happened since she was a teenager. A sensory overload. Meaning to take a deep breath, the best she could do was draw two shallow ones that felt lacking. _Calm,_ she told herself, trying to focus on her own voice.  
  
 _Calm. Be calm,_ she told herself  
 _Lena,_ a voice answered back.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, thank you so much for reading and for those of you that comment, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it and how much it means to me. This chapter got delayed and then shortened because I've been without power for a week. Don't want to spoil the next chapter because it will be an important one but I can give you the title: Lasso of Truth
> 
> Come ask me things here [Tumblr](https://inkedroplets.tumblr.com/)


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